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Katelyn Feb 2014
oftentimes i have told you
i hate the snow even though
it's a beautiful sight to see
but today i awoke to
snow dancing through the sky
landing gracefully on treetops
and some of it fell to my heart
i love the snow because
you love the way it falls and
how the color white isn't a color
i love the snow because it gives
me chances to sled with you
inside snow covered kisses
and frostbitten noses
i love the snow because it reminds me
there is beauty in things other than
the way you look at me
i love the snow because you taught me how

oftentimes i have told you
the snow only creates messes
even though it's just trying
to see itself as beautiful
but today i awoke to
streets covered head to toe
in sheets of a color that does not exist
and i could not help but laugh
to find myself smiling and whispering
your name because it was
almost as amazing of  sight to see
drifts of snow covering bald spots on
the earth than it is to see
you light up when you see flurries
i love the snow because you taught me
not everything in the world is trying
to cause mayhem around me
i love the snow because you taught me how
kaitlyn anderson May 2014
it's strange how certain smells can trigger a very distinct memory. or how at one time, you enjoyed the smell of something, but now it reminds you of someone and it makes your stomach turn. was what sweet is now rotten. but then there are things that, to most, smell rotten, but no. not to me. cigarette smoke, for example, reminds me of my mom. living far apart from her, i miss the scent of camel blue 99s in my hair. oftentimes, i'm tempted to buy a pack just for the reminder, but she'd **** me faster than any cancer could. and anyway, i prefer newports.
326

I cannot dance upon my Toes—
No Man instructed me—
But oftentimes, among my mind,
A Glee possesseth me,

That had I Ballet knowledge—
Would put itself abroad
In Pirouette to blanch a Troupe—
Or lay a Prima, mad,

And though I had no Gown of Gauze—
No Ringlet, to my Hair,
Nor hopped to Audiences—like Birds,
One Claw upon the Air,

Nor tossed my shape in Eider *****,
Nor rolled on wheels of snow
Till I was out of sight, in sound,
The House encore me so—

Nor any know I know the Art
I mention—easy—Here—
Nor any Placard boast me—
It’s full as Opera—
eve Jul 2018
When upset, it’s relieving to hear the voices in my head,
The whispers guide my deranged mind to the intentions of never fixing situations,
Instead, it takes me to the land of make believe,
Where I live and continue to repeat,
The cycle of excuses to conceal the history of reality.
Battle wounds and scars pierce right through me,
Viewing the ghost within,
I keep my distance from those attempting to come in.
Time and patience will help me heal from the internal pain they say,
However, I confide in ghosting, while disregarding the feeling of void in my heart.
I remain blind to the difference of things,
Self expression, communication and social integrity make it difficult for me to see,
The truth in where liars lie.
But still, I persist,
Despite the fact that in all forms of reality, I’m struggling.
I attempt to pretend like life is going good and my mentality is okay,
This guilt only allows my body to relapse yet again.
Unintentionally and subconsciously, I’m hurting,
The people who “care” for me.
Instantaneously, the late hours control my eyes to remain wide awake,
Oftentimes, I go numb enough to not speak,
I stray away from the support team behind me,
In order to, stay away from the demon externally taking a hold of me.
Soul is too open to close,
Bones and touch are too cold to take,
It’s true, our ends were never meant to mend,
Due to my expectations of plans never set in place.
Brady D Friedkin Jun 2015
I see the work of my hands
I see the results of my will
I set my eye over the lands
I know I was too weak on that hill
I didn’t realize the journey’s demands
The pains in my side remain still

I set my foot upon that path
Over my shoulder I saw my pain
I run from the Monster’s wrath
If his way is made, I will be slain
There on my arm, I see the ****** ****
It seems this journey will be in vain

The Monster haunts me in my dreams
He follows on this path with chasing
No matter how loud I cry, it seems they won’t hear my screams
No one knows just what I’m facing
I run until I see flowing streams
And find my love, we’re embracing

From this dream I wake
The truth in this dream I dread
With this Monster, my will may break
But on this path, I will tread
And I will walk until I ache
On the path my Father led

I wander down this lonely road
In this deep dark wood
As I walked alone, my pace it slowed
Until I stopped and stood
By the streams that flowed
And for a time, all was good

The fire I had built begins to smolder
The smoke from the dead warmth rose
The night then grew colder
I thought for sure I would be froze
Then I saw the Monster over my shoulder
I can see in his eyes, my fear shows

I run hastily away from the Monster
He chases me through the dark
I know he leads me to slaughter
If only I could create a spark
In the darkness, I would no longer wander
Then maybe I might hit my mark

The Monster leaves me at sunrise
My pain vanishes with the light
My soul is calm like sunny skies
For a time, all is right
But as soon as the sun dies
There comes the pain of night

My night is filled with torment
And my days filled with fear
This journey is filled with lament
Oftentimes I fear the end is all too near
It seems something I cannot prevent
And the injuries I’ve acquired are all too severe

The pain is too great to continue down this road
Knowing the Monster is on my back
The weight I carry is too heavy of a load
The courage to continue is something I lack
But my Father gave me guide with the words he wrote
And with each encounter, I defend the Monster’s attack

Every night I see I’m not on my own
I’d be dead if not for my Father
With each fight, each night, I’ve grown
I no longer wonder why I bother
At the end, I’ll approach my Father’s throne
And the Monster will be but a scoffer

Still the Monster haunts when the sun is gone
It’s as if I’m stuck in his box
And I can never move on
Because still the Monster mocks
Weak. I feel as weak as a fawn
Yet somehow as strong as an ox

It’s a strange feeling
Being torn between pain and relief
Yet both are healing
It’s hard to hold to belief
When everything is reeling
When it’s always about a new leaf

Still I feel the pain from the hunt
The Monster always drawing blood
He’s always just steps behind, though I’m in front
I tread through deep mud
Only for him to catch me with his heavy brunt
Now I’m caught in this painful flood

Constantly I cry for my Father to save me
For someone to take me from my misery
But what I wanted was not what He gave me
A man came and was my victory
For my evil, He forgave me
And why He did is a mystery

He defeated the Monster on my part
He took on my pain and we limped down the path
He felt the pain I held in my heart
He experienced my pain from the Monster’s wrath
He had been with me from the start
Always interceding on my behalf

He acted as my brother
He defeated my tormentor
He cared for me like my mother
He dwelled in the pain left by my torturer
He was sent by my Father
blushing prince Mar 2017
There’s a feeling one gets
oftentimes evoked when people wear clothes too tight for their skin
or hotels by the ocean that have pools
and you wonder if the pool gets jealous
does its’ hands get clammy
does its’ mouth quiver with wondering
why it tastes so much like bleach
and if it feels as exposed as a schoolboy’s battered knees after Sunday mass  
and the feeling is reiterated once more
this cramp of the foot, this skipped heartbeat you become so fixated on
As you watch the old man on the crowded subway
pick at his scabs, the ones he got when he was 23 or 24
he can’t quite remember anymore but it’s hard to remember
such fine details when your clothes smell like ***** and your
children don’t visit anymore
so now he’ll sit on anything that moves as long as it propels him forward
as long as he doesn’t have to see the wrinkles
in between the birthday cakes and the heart medicine that
he’s supposed to take but what’s a chemical to a heart
and what’s a heart to an electrical socket someone with
a medical degree keeps poking at  
so this feeling starts getting a name, starts calling cabs and giving them fake addresses
starts moving in and calling itself mister Al on week days and Sister Wendy on the rest
and now the soap stops cleaning and your hands becoming red with scrubbing
some internal message you were supposed to detonate as soon
As you graduated college but the degree was burned in a fire
and all the things you were taught were sold at half price in local yard sales
and so you stop eating dessert for dinner and stop living and
start recollecting, start rewinding the past, time traveling back to a
time when the sun would hit your eyes as you walked crooked streets
the pavement cracking like frost of a glacier in mid September under your feet
and as your voice gets low you smell the scent of lilac flowers in a basket
carried by a woman in threads of agave and cotton, colorful shawls draped
Across her bare arms, wearing rosaries in both her hands chanting words
that you could almost know but you don’t, asking if you’ll buy the flowers
made by the tears of god, crafted by the arthritic hands of mother Mary and
Don’t you just love the virginal white of martyrdom
but there are stones being thrown across the street by rude boys in t-shirts
long enough to be dresses, jeweled numbers on their backs like football players
or prison inmates and the distinction is not as clear
as they ricochet off the tough brown skin of the woman
you begin seeing embers of scarlet and it’s beautiful in the way
the slaughter of a thousand roses by the hands of scissors is beautiful
but the taste of disgust is not far behind,
and you wish the lilacs were a shield of ivory armor
And you wish the boys were boys and not men
there’s a feeling one gets
and I’m afraid you’ll always feel the feeling
like the peel of a peach
Daniel James Feb 2011
-Opening-

Some things are part of you
And yet you have no control.
Certain memories and habits are -
And my sister was just so.

On the morning of the funeral
Mum gave me a mint, a polo
I ****** it for a while
And felt the ‘o’
Dissolving into a thin hoop
Of mint on my tongue.

And somewhere in there was the memory
Of other moments spent
******* the ‘o’s of meditation
Years, sometimes decades ago.

There was no narrative to these memories
Save me
And during those moments that narrative
Could not see itself,
Or the relative position of its parts,
But moments do not need narrative
To be complete
Like Bryony,
I’ve found life to be
Oftentimes bad for me,
Like confectionary
And cut flowers
Short and sweet.

-1-

Bryony is now a rose,
But once upon a time
She was a mischievous
Kink in a hose.

At Kingswood Drive,
Ben and Bry on the same side:
“Daniel – help us out! The water’s stopped-
Look down the end and check that it’s not blocked.”

At last! A chance to be of use!
The baby bursts with pride -
Just as the hose unkinks
And sprays him in the eye.

-2-

Bryony ran away from home
To join the circus known as Camden Town
A world of orphans with piercings
Selling t-shirts to clowns.

I didn’t understand it,
Neither did mum and dad.
But we went to visit once, me and mum,
I must have been about six,
Can’t remember much,
But it must have been a good night –
Always is –
When you end up in high heels and a dress.
I was her little manniken
In a whole world of fashion.

-3-

“Dan? Pass my bag there with the moisturising lotion.”
I do so, and by return of post –
A vague memory of a smoky blond from photos.
I always thought she would be a model
When we were growing up.

I didn’t tell her until recently
When she’d acquired the cheekbones for it
But now her skin rippled
With dry amusement
At the notion.

-4-

At the hospice they admired
Her strong will and determination
To join the dots
Of visitors
With a shaky stubborn line
From declining throne
To the swing seat
In the garden.

“They’re lovely here.” She said.
They were not trying to change her,
They were helping her accept.


-Ending-

An ending fitting for a start
A rhyme she made me
Learn by heart
My earliest memory of her
Playing pattercake
And saying:

Make up, make up
Never, never break up.
Make up, make up
Never, never break up.
dandelionfine Nov 2018
i am a sewing project:
fine little scars make lace of my arms.
patches of different patterns
occupy my mind; they're awfully frayed
but unique. they're mine.
i'm pushed and pulled through
some speedy machine
work, sleep, repeat
every puncture of the needle at
the speed of light
i am a constant, ever-changing
patchwork, some
handiwork of a tired old woman somewhere
awfully far away. i think of her when I can’t fall asleep.
I wonder if she thinks of me too.
i am a tapestry.
i cover walls, i do not build them, yet oftentimes i so wish i could.
or had the strength to, at least--but i am mere fabric
i am a sewing project.
Alyssa Underwood Nov 2015
t
h  
e
r  
i
v
  e
r  
s
of
our
sadness
can open up
into wide gulfs
of endless delight
and are oftentimes
the beneficent courses
needed to carry us there
Poetry Art Oct 2020
oftentimes
it is better
to leave words
unspoken
and unheard

for truth
can be too painful
that it is better
to turn a blind eye
on things
that might have occurred
let's keep things this way
anthony Brady Mar 2018
Oftentimes
out of ****** dreams
when night glides into dawn,
I awake  hungry for your poetry:
I salivate on your  words
savouring  each syllable
melting  on my tongue .

Oftentimes
when I crave virginal lyrics
I read anew your tropes:
I revel in their creativity
letting all they reveal
inspire  me completely.

Oftentimes
I imagine your noble heart
I feel it pulsate upon each page:
in unison with each beat,
I am borne away in the flow
of poetry, beauty, time and love.

TOBIAS
Taylor St Onge Apr 2014
The yucca plant from my mother’s garden sits
unattended and on the verge of death next to her
eldest rose bush, now wildly overgrown and lightly
blushing in the cosset of the midmourning sun.  Its
withered rosettes droop down to its bed of maroon-stained stones
in crisp, harum-scarum patterns as if the plant is spending its life
like currency trying to touch its toes.  I oftentimes
find myself wondering if the reason behind this
slow rotting of mother dearest’s garden is hidden within her
five-year absence.  If I didn’t know any better, I’d say
her nursery missed the d
                                              i
               ­                                  g
                                                     g
                                                        i
     ­                                                       n
        ­                                                        g
of her weathered hands.

She was the biosphere of my world; I suppose that
it only makes sense for the earth to match my thirst.  We
sit side by side, that yucca plant and I, as we struggle to
nod our heads towards daylight while we rise on
the side of the house that is more or less
cloaked in shadow; the side that she would sunbathe
on during scorching late afternoons.  Perhaps without her
body giving shelter, all her garden is doomed to
atrophy like muscle in the sunlight.

I find irony in the way that my mother’s favored plant
was the “ghost in the graveyard;” a perverted parallel
to the game that she never wanted us to play.  I think it to be
sort of sardonic that her pride swallowed the possibility of
a cure being found within that ****** plant’s roots. She,
a third generation American girl,
had blood as muddled as the mud
that buried that yucca’s heart.
The boundary line between Mother and
nature coalesces into one:
                                               Gaea
                                               six feet under
                                               melting into soil
                                               I hope she becomes seawater.
mommy drabbles
Alexa Picaulima Aug 2015
We are all seeking

to find some solid ground to place our path.

Oftentimes, we search for this stability

in a person we have found along our rough roads.

But darling,

the very mantle in which our Earth rests

lays the unrest of relative motion of tectonic plates.

It is all dynamic dance of elements and energy out there.

But in here,

the core of our souls,

in the acceptance of this nature,

we can recreate.
Mark Donnelly Jul 2016
There is more to a refugee than what you see,
behind the closed doors lies tragedy surely,
oftentimes there is despair,
most surely there is hope,
for in the heart of a refugee is a desire for life,
without conflict and hatred,
if we offer refuge we save a soul,
moreso we will save ours.
Being the grandson of a refugee i see in every refugee a new hope and beginning.
Ann Witt Sep 2013
We are not what we wear or what we own;
we are life experiences.
Life is what happens--what comes and goes.

Our perceptions are limited.
Appearances are oftentimes just illusions.
It doesn't matter the color or size,
we are all gifts in disguise.

Breathing in the dignified silence of nature
captures that perfect moment; that explosive
split second in time when one realizes
that love has no form.

Happiness is the easiest thing in the world
to shatter if you filter your life through
someone else's dreams.

Wear your own perfume of life
like a warm embrace.
Allow your dreams to rescue your imagination
as you blossom in the glow of your own aura
of self-awareness.
Wade Lancaster Sep 2015
The minds eye is omnidirectional.
It can see hopes and dreams.
It is the ultimate source of human creativity.
But it also can be the source of anguish, fear and rejection.
At times it is flawless, yet at others it is completely flawed.
The third eye is always blind.
It is fixed, not seeing the surrounding truthfulness, and often provides a singular view.
This eye sees the convoluted future and fails to see the past.
The eye of complete truth and accuracy is the Hindsight Eye. As is known,  " Hindsight is 20/20 " and of perfect vision.
It is by far the eye of beauty, revelation and what the hell was I thinking.
It is the revealed truth and lies.
Liar's, keeper of secrets, they fear this eye the most.
We as humans, are equipped usually with vision.
Some see more then others.
Some are also clairvoyant, prediction of future, or worldly events, not normally recognizes vision.
Other people think they see something as truth. Oftentimes these are obscure and closer to fabricated visions of insanity.
I See... ...says the all seeing eye.
The more I think about this I think it is not even worthwhile as poetry. Perhaps I will delete it.
Five years have past; five summers, with the length
Of five long winters! and again I hear
These waters, rolling from their mountain-springs
With a soft inland murmur.—Once again
Do I behold these steep and lofty cliffs,
That on a wild secluded scene impress
Thoughts of more deep seclusion; and connect
The landscape with the quiet of the sky.
The day is come when I again repose
Here, under this dark sycamore, and view
These plots of cottage-ground, these orchard-tufts,
Which at this season, with their unripe fruits,
Are clad in one green hue, and lose themselves
’Mid groves and copses. Once again I see
These hedge-rows, hardly hedge-rows, little lines
Of sportive wood run wild: these pastoral farms,
Green to the very door; and wreaths of smoke
Sent up, in silence, from among the trees!
With some uncertain notice, as might seem
Of vagrant dwellers in the houseless woods,
Or of some Hermit’s cave, where by his fire
The Hermit sits alone.

                                        These beauteous forms,
Through a long absence, have not been to me
As is a landscape to a blind man’s eye:
But oft, in lonely rooms, and ’mid the din
Of towns and cities, I have owed to them,
In hours of weariness, sensations sweet,
Felt in the blood, and felt along the heart;
And passing even into my purer mind
With tranquil restoration:—feelings too
Of unremembered pleasure: such, perhaps,
As have no slight or trivial influence
On that best portion of a good man’s life,
His little, nameless, unremembered, acts
Of kindness and of love. Nor less, I trust,
To them I may have owed another gift,
Of aspect more sublime; that blessed mood,
In which the burthen of the mystery,
In which the heavy and the weary weight
Of all this unintelligible world,
Is lightened:—that serene and blessed mood,
In which the affections gently lead us on,—
Until, the breath of this corporeal frame
And even the motion of our human blood
Almost suspended, we are laid asleep
In body, and become a living soul:
While with an eye made quiet by the power
Of harmony, and the deep power of joy,
We see into the life of things.

                                                    If this
Be but a vain belief, yet, oh! how oft—
In darkness and amid the many shapes
Of joyless daylight; when the fretful stir
Unprofitable, and the fever of the world,
Have hung upon the beatings of my heart—
How oft, in spirit, have I turned to thee,
O sylvan Wye! thou wanderer thro’ the woods,
      How often has my spirit turned to thee!

  And now, with gleams of half-extinguished thought,
With many recognitions dim and faint,
And somewhat of a sad perplexity,
The picture of the mind revives again:
While here I stand, not only with the sense
Of present pleasure, but with pleasing thoughts
That in this moment there is life and food
For future years. And so I dare to hope,
Though changed, no doubt, from what I was when first
I came among these hills; when like a roe
I bounded o’er the mountains, by the sides
Of the deep rivers, and the lonely streams,
Wherever nature led: more like a man
Flying from something that he dreads, than one
Who sought the thing he loved. For nature then
(The coarser pleasures of my boyish days
And their glad animal movements all gone by)
To me was all in all.—I cannot paint
What then I was. The sounding cataract
Haunted me like a passion: the tall rock,
The mountain, and the deep and gloomy wood,
Their colours and their forms, were then to me
An appetite; a feeling and a love,
That had no need of a remoter charm,
By thought supplied, not any interest
Unborrowed from the eye.—That time is past,
And all its aching joys are now no more,
And all its dizzy raptures. Not for this
Faint I, nor mourn nor murmur; other gifts
Have followed; for such loss, I would believe,
Abundant recompense. For I have learned
To look on nature, not as in the hour
Of thoughtless youth; but hearing oftentimes
The still sad music of humanity,
Nor harsh nor grating, though of ample power
To chasten and subdue.—And I have felt
A presence that disturbs me with the joy
Of elevated thoughts; a sense sublime
Of something far more deeply interfused,
Whose dwelling is the light of setting suns,
And the round ocean and the living air,
And the blue sky, and in the mind of man:
A motion and a spirit, that impels
All thinking things, all objects of all thought,
And rolls through all things. Therefore am I still
A lover of the meadows and the woods
And mountains; and of all that we behold
From this green earth; of all the mighty world
Of eye, and ear,—both what they half create,
And what perceive; well pleased to recognise
In nature and the language of the sense
The anchor of my purest thoughts, the nurse,
The guide, the guardian of my heart, and soul
Of all my moral being.

                                         Nor perchance,
If I were not thus taught, should I the more
Suffer my genial spirits to decay:
For thou art with me here upon the banks
Of this fair river; thou my dearest Friend,
My dear, dear Friend; and in thy voice I catch
The language of my former heart, and read
My former pleasures in the shooting lights
Of thy wild eyes. Oh! yet a little while
May I behold in thee what I was once,
My dear, dear Sister! and this prayer I make,
Knowing that Nature never did betray
The heart that loved her; ’tis her privilege,
Through all the years of this our life, to lead
From joy to joy: for she can so inform
The mind that is within us, so impress
With quietness and beauty, and so feed
With lofty thoughts, that neither evil tongues,
Rash judgments, nor the sneers of selfish men,
Nor greetings where no kindness is, nor all
The dreary ******* of daily life,
Shall e’er prevail against us, or disturb
Our cheerful faith, that all which we behold
Is full of blessings. Therefore let the moon
Shine on thee in thy solitary walk;
And let the misty mountain-winds be free
To blow against thee: and, in after years,
When these wild ecstasies shall be matured
Into a sober pleasure; when thy mind
Shall be a mansion for all lovely forms,
Thy memory be as a dwelling-place
For all sweet sounds and harmonies; oh! then,
If solitude, or fear, or pain, or grief,
Should be thy portion, with what healing thoughts
Of tender joy wilt thou remember me,
And these my exhortations! Nor, perchance—
If I should be where I no more can hear
Thy voice, nor catch from thy wild eyes these gleams
Of past existence—wilt thou then forget
That on the banks of this delightful stream
We stood together; and that I, so long
A worshipper of Nature, hither came
Unwearied in that service: rather say
With warmer love—oh! with far deeper zeal
Of holier love. Nor wilt thou then forget,
That after many wanderings, many years
Of absence, these steep woods and lofty cliffs,
And this green pastoral landscape, were to me
More dear, both for themselves and for thy sake!
Con Dec 2020
oftentimes we think
that just because we’re not swimming,
we’d stopped moving.
drowning.
overwhelmed by the vastness of the sea
oftentimes we forget
that we are allowed to just float,
be thankful for the skies
and let the wind do its job
to take us to the shore
taking my time
facing the skies
Arms.
Arms that held me.
Arms that welcomed me
into the realm of womankind
Hands that held mine
with the intent of "for all time."

Hands that were oftentimes
the guiding light.

In these arms I was reborn.

In these arms I was taken
Arms that made decisions
Made choices not my own
These hands shaped me
Shaped me into a stranger.

The debt of joy and grief owed
To these hands and these arms
Has left an indelible mark

These hands and these arms
Hold a place that is mine
Irrevocably mine.
Whether I choose it
Or not.
Lorraine Cinco Jun 2015
It happened all at once.
You remained the same reasons of brokenness and love.
And I couldnt change it.
I'd rather have days of both misery and bliss than having days without you.
I think of you oftentimes like a madness killer.
Figuring out what kind of death you will die in my memories.
But everytime I did, I slowly dying.
Those memories were the only thing I owned.
And I dont want a world without you.

Does you think of me as well? I know you wont.
But I love you in every heartbeat and my mind could think.
Giada Luciano Nov 2013
the man behind the curtain
that decided my worth

took his turns deciding whether or not
he felt like pretending to care about me

he oftentimes played the role of god-
and everyone owed him a favour

he wanted the rush
he inhaled from parkour on the week's end

and the kind of romance
he devoured in science fiction novels

i was too afraid to get off of my knees
and to not address him like royalty

but i let him file me down
into a perfect wife

knees on the ground,
my head stayed bowed

obedient like a puppy
scared out of it's wits

eventually i unlocked the door at the top of the cell

just to find him sitting there,
lit cigar (elegant this time)
and a novel
while he watched my mind absorb the smoke
Kairee F Nov 2016
I ran there today
in one of those moments of euphoric need.
I wanted to see the view they told me was so appealing.
I ran there today,
and even though I was accompanied by several strangers,
they were invisible to my eye,
so the lake’s peaceful atmosphere wouldn’t escape me
as sweet classical music whispered melodies in my ear,
a solitary canoe sent soft ripples from its path,
and eyes locked on a view framed by the most beautiful mess of weeds
on top of the hill where I stood.

“This was so much prettier last year.
They need to mow this whole hillside.”


I guess those melodies weren’t whispering loud enough
if I could hear an invisible stranger’s voice.

I loved those weeds.

You know when you see a cluster of friends together
and just by looking at them,
you know that they each have a sense of belonging in that group?
I don’t remember what that feels like.
There are pieces of me that fit into separate puzzles,
but I have not found the one that rounds with each curve
and shifts with each edge so perfectly that I am secure.
So when I look at these weeds,
I understand them,
and even though they are spiritless beings,
I can relate to them in a way I have never related
to someone of my own kind.

I am not a gentle flower
that must be nurtured to growth and bloom.
I am the white dandelion you picked from a patch of grass as a child
so you could almost effortlessly blow every seed into the wind,
scattering me in so many directions that my personas
fall far from my roots,
no two of them planting close together.
In college
I felt too goody two shoes for the theatre department,
too eccentric for the fitness nerds,
too simple for the city-lovers,
and too urbane for the country.
So,
though you may think these weeds are chaotic
and ugly
and unwanted,
these weeds are life,
and they echo our time here
far better than the flowers or grass you desire.
We are not clean;
We are wild,
confused,
and aching for the love of our onlookers,
when oftentimes we are ignored.

Sometimes
I whisper the words
“I love you”
into absent air
just to remember what it sounds like
coming from my lips.
The silence I hear in reply is a reminder
that my words ricochet off of the walls
and back to me,
bouncing off of my ear’s bass drum
a beat that lets me know I am okay,
but this beat is one that most can’t follow.
You see,
within me are two opposing existences,
both equally me,
but different nonetheless.
I am not emotional,
but I feel all of life’s idiosyncrasies deep within me:
the light that peeks through my blinds as I wake in the morning,
the solitary solidarity of a morning run when the town is still asleep,
the sound of nature’s white noise,
the crunch of autumn leaves and twigs beneath my feet…
I feel these things,
and my heart swells with a sense of liberation with each experience,
though I have not yet been liberated.

We may not be pretty to you.
We may not be cultivated.
You may think we are competing with your ideal aesthetic,
but we are just trying to make it through this tangled life
alive and well,
while the rest of the world attempts to rid itself of us.
Little do you know that we are your backbone.
We are your strength.
We are independence.
We are beautiful.

Don’t mow us away.
pierrot Feb 2020
1st take
oftentimes I still struggle  
to keep in mind
that my life is no battlefield
that nobody’s purpose has ever been to bring me down
it still amazes me how the only words meant to make me fall
are my own

2nd take
oftentimes my mind is still a racing car
competing against beings so much more superior and human
I have to prove myself and reach up
always up, up, up, up – it’s never high enough
up in the clouds, fog in my head
I sometimes notice
how life is passing me by
longingly looking at me on the other side of the glass
so far away
and yet so close to the chances I regret never taking

3rd take
I always fantasized time would one day be my dear friend
unlike those old ladies
ever complaining about their white locks
so ashamed they’d colour them away like a flaw.
when I was a child
I promised I would love my white hair so much
like a well-earned and long-awaited prize
I would proudly strut in the streets
carrying in my purse the kind of contentment
only self-love can gift you.
and yet , as I breach from adolescence to adulthood
like an injured prey thrown to the wolves
I can’t help but already feel the weight of time
(ever ticking by my ear)
upon my spinning head – not what’s to come
but what I left behind.

4th take
oftentimes I still struggle
to function like a proper human being
in a room full of people
how can I be one of them?
there’s more days I am my mental illness
than days I trick myself into believing
I’m not.
I still consider myself a teen
that’s the age I was truly born
the shock of learning a prodigious pill can’t help you
surely does feel like dying
only to be thrown into a life
you never asked for
all over again.
unprepared as one always is
learning from scrap to make weapons
out of years of self-loathing
I still struggle to understand how could I possibly love myself
when my mind convinces me nobody else does.

5th and last take
do you even exist?
I ask myself when you finally decide to act up -
you have never given me a warning sign
a red flag
you’re unexpected and so **** good at making me doubt myself
and if I don’t believe me
who could I ever possibly believe?
I could choose to believe you
but I will never give you the satisfaction.

the strangest feeling is constantly being watched
but never truly seen,
talking
but never really being heard –
you told me you are the only one who does not judge me.

there are days you know me
better than I know myself,
you are my best friend and comforter then
but I learned how to hate you when taking control of my body as if it were your own
using it as you please
for destroying it so carefully
brings you so much power
(you always drain me
and I’m always tired)

your care was never selfless
but selfish and greedy
even when I give you what you want
desperate for silence and peace and loneliness
I am never truly free
the aftertaste of the words unwillingly spilling from my mouth
has always tasted so bitter

fighting you is a losing game anyway
I’m so ******* glad
if I go down,
you’re coming with me

- to my anxiety disorder
                   (*******)
this is an old piece I found in my drafts, since I have little time to write something new nowadays I decided to publish it
Àŧùl Mar 2014
Though this festival is celebrated with
Powdered colours,
But today in Rex Gym where I visit for
Exercise oftentimes,
It was celebrated two days in advance
With marigold petals.
I go to the gym 4 times a week on an average,
Not aiming for bodybuilding but body toning.

My HP Poem #576
©Atul Kaushal
L Archer Nov 2012
These rushes called "crushes", a concept aptly titled
You can't let it crush you though, your perspective can be vital
Your mind begins to wander and stomach starts to flutter
Your tongue becomes tied which can lead to a stutter
Oftentimes you find that the feelings are one-sided
So you'll do anything you can to conceal and to hide it
While love can cloud judgment, a crush can bring haze
But seeing their face gets you through dreary spring days
It's amazing what a simple little crush can do for us
How when you listen to a love song, little angels sing the chorus
It teeters after "like" but totters before "love"
A seesaw, emotions that fit you like a glove
The thought of them, the sight of them sends you a frightening jolt
Cupid's Arrow hits with the force of a lightening bolt
Of energy, of excitement, an indictment on how you feel
It leaves a lasting scar, it seems that no one else can heal
so kindled in sear summer July,
Upheaval churning in my most stoic feeling frazzled, I am,
Thank GOD for Good Riddance- putting on a thinking cap
And  my Good Instincts prevails..
    Brooding over and praying in silence-
       PEACE and Faith too ; sustained my intertwined...
guts good 'ole meshed up toiled my life.
                   Like a web-gathering digging out into knitted vine..
                     Gotta dance w/ grace even if someone ogling..
                       actin' out like zilch..
                        out there mesmerizing.
Give it all out for sake o' Inamorata  
                  And fervor like ne'er be in paroxysm, a day or two ..
                Rhyme with the melody o' songs
            And Sing it all out on top o' my lungs
      like there's no one's eavesdropping
Amusingly enough as I wantonly be wanted
And feel hurting no more,
  Sleeping in minty pillows, sobbing no more...
    At the time, eventide dusk comes,
     That Beauty; rests indeed, bellows
       Live and let live like it's a bed o' heavenly velvety Roses in this cauldron earth!.ensnared my thoughts together oftentimes,
      Through waylay conflicts
So akin to as DRAMA Momma!
    That another can tote to my table.
      Getting' along just fine witn MYself..
      thus restore my sense of panoramic mindset; - my BLESSINGS- scrutiny on my studies  and my cherub babes who cares as whippersnapper!
    Thou Loves me more than
       of enormous superficial stuffs-
          things that won't last-
            I'm in solitude for soul searching'.
              I am of thy belief that
everyone needs time...
To just Be! @ peace with just MYself!
J
Sally A Bayan Jan 2014
(for Piedad)

Us being sisters,
Oftentimes gave me the jitters.
I was down here, while you were high up there,
I feared, I would find myself nowhere.

We made our own selfish choices,
Our actions louder than our voices.
I watched you from a distance,
It hurt to just give you a glance.

I felt a wall standing tall between us
In silence, I decided not to fuss...
Then I saw you break free from your balloon,
Reaching for the stars...maybe the moon…….
I prayed, then whispered,  "Go, wherever your stars may lead you
No matter how far, your dreams are long overdue."

Sally


Copyright 2014
Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan
*I bonded with my two sisters last November, and we had a great time..on returning home, I dug through my old journals and found this short poem from long ago,which I wrote for one of them...*
Sun Drop Feb 2018
In a word? Pretentious. Your presence stains the air.
Petty criticisms, as if anybody cared.
You think yourself an icon, and darling, ain't that darling.
To be completely honest though? I couldn't give a farthing.

Your lack of self-awareness paints your harlequin visage.
Your over-swollen ego? Nothing more than a mirage.
Your tacky two-cent romance leaves one little more than bored.
Precisely why is it that you think you should be adored?

Furthermore, diplomacy seems alien to you.
Assaulting inquisitions, implications, most untrue.
It does turn rather humorous, though, given your dull wit,
As oftentimes, you miss the point, for chomping at the bit.

Your eagerness to take offense makes conversation dreadful,
And seems to strip away any desire to be respectful.
Alas, I too indulge in pettiness from time to time,
So please, enjoy my grievance set facetiously to rhyme.
sorry not sorry. i hope this message resonates with everyone out there though.
Amanda Oct 2015
Oftentimes I find myself
staring at the sky,
drifting away
on clouds
and daydreaming of
your cerulean eyes.

I get lost in the memories,
and find myself in a daze.
Reality often seems futile
when I'm adrift
in this lustful haze.

My heart is
broken and bruised;
I know you want me too,
but how will I ever find you
while we're lost
in this maze.

And how am I supposed to stop missing you
when the cerulean sky
is consistently reminding me
of your cerulean eyes
and the bittersweet memories
that we held on
beautiful, nostalgic days.
it's easy to give up writing
have done it quite oftentimes
to focus on harder things
and not waste on easy rhymes!

each time i give up the pen
achieve some wonderful feat
i am that man once again
who does for others little bit!

whenever give the keys rest
close the door of poetryland
come upon a chance not to waste
to extend someone a helping hand!

times i clipped the bard's wings
landed my mind on the ground
met these eyes many things
doing which joys knew no bound!

— The End —