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"headlights" poems
Even sunflowers need the rain to grow Like recycling scar tissue you refuse to show Like holding the words to a cookbook containing the recipe for disaster Like the blood of an open wound placed by the whip of an unruly master Even sunflowers need the rain to grow Like when you finally learn the meaning of you reap what you sow Like a magnificent sand castle washed away by the sea All the sand becomes one and denies the right to be free Even sunflowers need the rain to grow Like the sting from the phrase I told you so Like a deer caught in headlights frozen dead in it's tracks Like gazing the stars if we could just climb the smoke stacks Even sunflowers need the rain to grow Like excluding truth from what you think you know Like playing life in a game of poker, and the *** is everything but cheap Karma has the high hand, face up, read'em and weep Even sunflowers need the rain to grow Like running through red lights because all you want is to go Like a jack of all trades who can't fix his own heart Like the tortoise that took off before the race even start Even sunflowers need the rain to grow Like a hundred oars and no arms to row
0
Nov 4, 2010
Nov 4, 2010 at 8:31 AM UTC
Sunflowers
Tell me I'm not this. The blue began to flood inside a room once painted black. Tell me I don't see this. The orb of morning peering its start right to my eyelids that can't even close. Tell me I don't hear this. Birds chirping for sunrise, playing lightly as my lullaby. Tell me I'm dreaming. My leg still twitches, seven in the morning, because I'm afraid I'll lose myself before dawn. Shedding emotion in fast waves of flight, tell me I didn't run through time, making stars out of daylight. Orange in the sky, and not from shy headlights in insomniac cars. Yellow, making its fellow opening for my uncomforted sleep, not a nightlight like before, no. Tell me I'm not this.
0
Mar 15, 2018
Mar 15, 2018 at 10:19 AM UTC
Insomniac Headlights
Deceive me Lie to me **** with my head On the edge of the cliff Then you pull me to bed Your love is a drug *** with you gets me high I’m a full blown ****** Makes no sense; don’t know why You're an ever present torment The fission laser splitting my mind A jig-saw puzzle that was completed Slowly each piece from each piece you unbind Seductively you tear me down Like the clothing you disrobe A deer staring into headlights I am frozen on the road The weight of the world bearing down on me As those focused beams get closer Gladly I welcome them Even though I’m not supposed to Every rational thought I have tells me how wrong you are for me But they are drowned and muffled out No more thoughts; keep your pennies No sensible way to explain Why I ******* love you so much You’re a psychotic crazy ***** that I don’t want anyone else to touch A blowtorch ignites a flame A fire fierce and burning bright Even though I know it will burn me With all my gathered strength and might All it takes from you is that look You cast that Vampire’s gaze and grin Instantaneously my defenses lowered and you know you’ve ****** me in Immerse myself into the flame Intense pain; you melt my skin Until pain I feel no more I’m enveloped in your sin And like a ****** choosing dope Everyday, your sin I’ll take I will gladly sell my soul The most egregious of mistakes A preying succubus appears like a dreamy demoness A world of dreams are turned to nightmares Fills her needs for human flesh
0
Feb 19, 2018
Feb 19, 2018 at 10:39 PM UTC
Succubus
Deceive me Lie to me **** with my head On the edge of the cliff Then you pull me to bed Your love is a drug *** with you gets me high I’m a full blown ****** Makes no sense; don’t know why You're an ever present torment The fission laser splitting my mind A jig-saw puzzle that was completed Slowly each piece from each piece you unbind Seductively you tear me down Like the clothing you disrobe A deer staring into headlights I am frozen on the road The weight of the world bearing down on me As those focused beams get closer Gladly I welcome them Even though I’m not supposed to Every rational thought I have tells me how wrong you are for me But they are drowned and muffled out No more thoughts; keep your pennies No sensible way to explain Why I ******* love you so much You’re a psychotic crazy ***** that I don’t want anyone else to touch A blowtorch ignites a flame A fire fierce and burning bright Even though I know it will burn me With all my gathered strength and might All it takes from you is that look You cast that Vampire’s gaze and grin Instantaneously my defenses lowered and you know you’ve ****** me in Immerse myself into the flame Intense pain; you melt my skin Until pain I feel no more I’m enveloped in your sin And like a ****** choosing dope Everyday, your sin I’ll take I will gladly sell my soul The most egregious of mistakes A preying succubus appears like a dreamy demoness A world of dreams are turned to nightmares Fills her needs for human flesh
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49
you are the song i want to listen to in that cliché and timeless 3am moment on the highway windows rolled down with the potential-filled and empty yet comforting indigo sky blowing past, only car on the road just us, me with my feet up on the dash, fingers interlocked with yours on my lap, headlights illuminating the road and trees ahead, can’t think about anything else except for the pulse of the night and cold air on my skin and oh God this is my life and i feel so alive
0
Feb 12, 2015
Feb 12, 2015 at 1:09 AM UTC
indigo
They drove me across the country, from the busy city where we departed to intimate villages where they recessed, and spent a star filled, moonlit night singing songs, their bodies casting long, wavy shadows from campfires they huddled around. Just as I got too cold and my wheels couldn't turn anymore did they finally turn the spark plugs, revving and igniting my despair and sensitivity producing heat. Sometimes they pushed until I shoved and scraped my rubber on asphalt, on rocks, on sand, on boulders big and small, and I hit a flat-line; the air I could hold in no longer. They rode me into a forest whose undergrowth was as thick as a bears' fur during the winter, and redwood that spanned the horizon you thought it could pat the constellations. A forest teeming with life that one would react like Wendy from Peter Pan-- never wanting to leave Neverland. And I could see it in their soft faces and squinting eyes, bright and lit up with joy, every detail apparent as if I burst my headlights into high-beam, directly on them. It was there I ran out of gas and my engines parched for oil, from the endless adventure that was exhilarating and memorable. One could, as a result, easily forget responsibilities. There was no service or refill station nearby, so I was abandoned where I parked, flat tires, rusty hood, broken chassis, dilapidated suspension. I've proved my worth from when I was brought in and over time it wasn't enough. Only repairing, never maintaining.
0
Dec 15, 2014
Dec 15, 2014 at 2:11 AM UTC
The Walking Engine
Inside these dimensions of my prison, paralyzed, immobilized, shattered in fragments of fear, I utter stifled screams from my body heap, piled on the hardwood floor c        r      u                             m   b         l i          n g trapped, desolate and wretched in mind, what is left of me after invasion and ravage? Chase away this these vultures and thieves, so to shut out this duality blinding me, a rabbit caught in headlights                                                        up                                         me                            pick
0
Apr 15, 2014
Apr 15, 2014 at 5:08 PM UTC
Rest & Nutrition
The night sounds of fallen angels Building stairways back to home And the radio plays softly Like a crooner left alone As the night falls into the velvet shades And beats down the bedroom door Of all the visions that come to me It's of one I'm hoping for The postman closes up the station And the buses get cleaned with rain The asylum rests and barely breathes As the countryside goes insane Prophets speak of peace On the dim hue of TV screens Of all the moments that seem real I still wait to watch my dreams Imposed upon the westward wall Are the silhouettes of weeping oaks Swaying in the wind that talks But they only tell me jokes Swept beneath the silver stars Sleeping on blanket clouds Of all the space above me I feel as if I can't get out Headlights and passing trains Sound like time passing by Gone are the hearts inside Like the years beyond my eyes Sounds from the suburb city Blow like sirens in my mind Of all the thoughts within me Only one freezes time
0
Jan 16, 2016
Jan 16, 2016 at 1:20 AM UTC
Only One Of All
I am lonely, not lonely the choice up to now has been mine I will slip away (at will) into the recesses of small shops of empty rooms or quiet spaces to avoid her touch or his gaze or their judgement our subconscious desires. But all swallowed up deep in the belly of fog, of smoke a vast, impenetrable night sky suddenly the all-encompassing fear grips me washes over so suddenly I realize I have not lived at all that I am suddenly (forcibly) the only one left. Down a long, winding road that trudges on endlessly into the fading silhouette of trees and broken sidelines dim headlights I am lonely, not lonely.
0
Oct 22, 2014
Oct 22, 2014 at 6:29 PM UTC
I am lonely, not lonely.
Who are you and why do you have this effect on me? You walked in the room and I can hardly breath Do you make me nervous on purpose, or is it just me? Are you doing this on purpose? I'm falling so quickly I don't wanna rush it and call it too soon But if you were the sun, then I'd be the moon Your eyes illuminate the streets with the only light I can see I'm just a deer in your headlights when you look at me Take me anywhere you want to go I'd follow you into the dark in places I don't know Wherever you are is where I want to be You're everything I want, and all that I can see If you have a hint of doubt about the things that I have said Just believe me when I say, you do laps inside my head If you leave it up to me, I'd tell you to stick around You be the tree, I'll be the roots in the ground I'll help you grow and try to give you everything you need Darling, it'd make me happy if you grew old with me
0
Mar 2, 2014
Mar 2, 2014 at 11:04 AM UTC
If You Were the Sun
Goodnight moonlight, Sweet dreams, moonlight, I am away now, Driving under your blanket, your bright stars lighting everywhere dark, It is a late hot summer night, however I have turned the heat on, on this long summer road, It reminds me of you, Warm, open, and free, I like it this way, Windows down, hot air blowing, there is no room for cold here, I like to play the radio soft, It reminds me of you, Stevie, you feel like the 80s, And your voice reminds me of hers too, My headlights illuminating the street signs just enough for them to dance, like everything has just a little bit of magic in it, The first time I met you, you shook my hand, moonlight, and you were embarrassed about it, I thought it was kind of cute, I might just keep you in my chest pocket on this ride home, I will see you tomorrow night, Same time, same place, Goodnight moonlight
0
Jul 22, 2018
Jul 22, 2018 at 2:17 AM UTC
Goodnight Moonlight
Is there tear gas in this room? Because I can't stop crying The gas crawls down my esophagus And crushes my wounded heart. “God this hurts” I keep typing, Praying to computer screen That I'll forget the smell of your hair I type till my fingers bleed So I can forget what your touch feels like How our lips fit perfectly together. “God I hate myself” The only phrase I think of When I'm pleading for things to back to normal Back to the days Where you didn't want to to crack open my skull And see all of the ugly things That drift around my cranium “Baby please I'm sorry. I’m a mess, A klutz, who waltzes around with stupidity Baby I get this feeling in my head When you are not around I want to keep writing you these love letters By sliding them under your doors called your eyelids” But I can’t I sit alone in the bus called life Looking across my seat I see you, my love Holding onto the bar Your pretty Blue headlights That make me drawn to you Your pretty Blue headlights Covered with the rain I caused I'm a rain man, you see, when people get close to me I get scared And force the skies rain to tears with pain. The only thing that floats in my mind Is that I hope the man of you life Buys you flowers Sunflowers especially And shows up to your work unexpectedly. I hope you can travel to Paris and keep a long list of all of the countries you've cuddled in. With him. I hope you he can handle seeing the stars From your eyes every time you guys cuddle Under the moon light. I hope he can teach you how to slow dance And I hope that he can teach me On how to be a better man.
0
Nov 6, 2014
Nov 6, 2014 at 12:38 AM UTC
Klutz
Is there tear gas in this room? Because I can't stop crying The gas crawls down my esophagus And crushes my wounded heart. “God this hurts” I keep typing, Praying to computer screen That I'll forget the smell of your hair I type till my fingers bleed So I can forget what your touch feels like How our lips fit perfectly together. “God I hate myself” The only phrase I think of When I'm pleading for things to back to normal Back to the days Where you didn't want to to crack open my skull And see all of the ugly things That drift around my cranium “Baby please I'm sorry. I’m a mess, A klutz, who waltzes around with stupidity Baby I get this feeling in my head When you are not around I want to keep writing you these love letters By sliding them under your doors called your eyelids” But I can’t I sit alone in the bus called life Looking across my seat I see you, my love Holding onto the bar Your pretty Blue headlights That make me drawn to you Your pretty Blue headlights Covered with the rain I caused I'm a rain man, you see, when people get close to me I get scared And force the skies rain to tears with pain. The only thing that floats in my mind Is that I hope the man of you life Buys you flowers Sunflowers especially And shows up to your work unexpectedly. I hope you can travel to Paris and keep a long list of all of the countries you've cuddled in. With him. I hope you he can handle seeing the stars From your eyes every time you guys cuddle Under the moon light. I hope he can teach you how to slow dance And I hope that he can teach me On how to be a better man.
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52
Kevan Fuchs died today in his sleep In a similar way as his father of one And actually, also my father did too Of those bitter, big cancer scourges Which always come in unexpected In this short enough life, a bit early I've known him ever since first, when We were knee high to Dad's shotgun Throughout our small neighborhood We would all roam to see and look For ***** toads and such other fun Without any known end in our sights We often, came all together, at once In his parent's, little Clovis back yard In the under ground, in our deep dug Wild little clubhouse of our new pride Approved by our jealous Dad's stare Made all by ourselves, with great care Eight by eight, with three feet of deep Shagged carpet floors, walls around And places to hide stuff with those **** magazines we wished to remain Unseen by our parents, although they Surely lived through similar wild times Black lights , fluorescent mod posters Fans to cool, while there in the deep Kept the place comfy, from several Hot summers in New Mexico's heat Staying nights over, in conspiracy we Came colluding, while hoping no fame This place was our place, of known Refuge from all of the big crazy, with Frightening world still yet to come Giving us our youngest freedoms And also so much being in trouble As kinda neighborhood hoodlums Far up his Dad's, tall, two-way radio tower One of us in care would climb With binoculars to see the dark night With our pair of walkie talkies held Warn the others, carousing around Of any plight, in appearing headlights Kevan's brother, still alive,  Keith My other brother by another,  Buddy Also at first, a weird guy, named Chris One other member, as second cousin Who actually, was my very first kiss When it was hard to aim, lips to miss All bound as one, by made up signs And part of something called PSO Which, if you don't know well, what it Truly means, then you were definitely Not a part of the so very high bliss Which we suffered through so often Kevan's true nature is clearly proven Finally, most completely, at his end In the nature of his wonderful loving All his family, who also so loved him And all those other parties to trouble Who also so loved, really all of him ©  2017 Jim Davis
0
May 4, 2017
May 4, 2017 at 9:18 AM UTC
The Clubhouse
Kevan Fuchs died today in his sleep In a similar way as his father of one And actually, also my father did too Of those bitter, big cancer scourges Which always come in unexpected In this short enough life, a bit early I've known him ever since first, when We were knee high to Dad's shotgun Throughout our small neighborhood We would all roam to see and look For ***** toads and such other fun Without any known end in our sights We often, came all together, at once In his parent's, little Clovis back yard In the under ground, in our deep dug Wild little clubhouse of our new pride Approved by our jealous Dad's stare Made all by ourselves, with great care Eight by eight, with three feet of deep Shagged carpet floors, walls around And places to hide stuff with those **** magazines we wished to remain Unseen by our parents, although they Surely lived through similar wild times Black lights , fluorescent mod posters Fans to cool, while there in the deep Kept the place comfy, from several Hot summers in New Mexico's heat Staying nights over, in conspiracy we Came colluding, while hoping no fame This place was our place, of known Refuge from all of the big crazy, with Frightening world still yet to come Giving us our youngest freedoms And also so much being in trouble As kinda neighborhood hoodlums Far up his Dad's, tall, two-way radio tower One of us in care would climb With binoculars to see the dark night With our pair of walkie talkies held Warn the others, carousing around Of any plight, in appearing headlights Kevan's brother, still alive,  Keith My other brother by another,  Buddy Also at first, a weird guy, named Chris One other member, as second cousin Who actually, was my very first kiss When it was hard to aim, lips to miss All bound as one, by made up signs And part of something called PSO Which, if you don't know well, what it Truly means, then you were definitely Not a part of the so very high bliss Which we suffered through so often Kevan's true nature is clearly proven Finally, most completely, at his end In the nature of his wonderful loving All his family, who also so loved him And all those other parties to trouble Who also so loved, really all of him ©  2017 Jim Davis
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61
Doom train hurtling along Through the fog in my mind Towing freight, rectangular and oblong Dim headlights, you're travelling blind Five carriages long, excluding engine and caboose Metal against metal, spitting sparks on steel Undetermined path, rails will choose Chugging along on dirt covered wheels In the cabin, I see the light Emanating from your furnace Swallowing up coals in your gaping bite Tongues of flames licking the surface Fire breathing, spewing thick black smoke Almost unseen, against the dark of night A long plumy arm as if extending to choke And plug the remaining sources of light Meandering precariously on tracks that weave Over uncharted, unfathomable terrain Your store, so reliably you heave Worming your way through my brain What's in that cargo of yours? What lies within those boxcars? What drives you to diligently run your course? What fuels you to travel near and far? Loads of self pity, self loathing and self reproach Snaking your way to an unknown destination Screeching brakes as if a stop you approach Herald the train of dubious intentions Light is upon you, dark will dissipate Your plumes starting to lessen from your stack The dawn breaking horizon you didn't anticipate To see another charging towards you on this very same track...
0
Sep 27, 2014
Sep 27, 2014 at 4:16 AM UTC
Doom Train (I)
the electricity runs through our veins and past the street signs we rumble by in the car you stole, we go fifty above the speed limit, the roof of the car is the noir sky above and the midnight rain pelts our upturned faces the dancing drops of water drip onto our smiling lips the sound of the sky collapsing echoes the flashes that streak the sky, the flickering light casts paved roads with a brief brightness (as if god were wearing light up sketchers) the lacy brallette that wears me gives me the bravery to stand up in the speeding car the velvet pants that ripple with the wind drink up the nighttime rain and the rare headlights race past us, heading into homes and hearts the mellow playlist that connects the aux cord to our ears blasts so loud, we can no longer hear our insecurity the mascara that once clung to my eyelashes now streams down my face. on a two way street, we drive down the middle unafraid in the face of direct dangers so unaware of the towering empty skyscrapers and instead highly exhilarated from the street signs we drive by too fast to read the blocky lettering the road signs glint, smiling as we wave and reach towards them the cigarettes you smoked are thrown through the open window, still smothering slightly. i can still taste the smoke on your lips and your hand tucks my hair behind my ear and as the wind objects and inhales unreal in the hazy a.m. car trip the tunnel rushes towards us, and we both hold our breaths, as if breathing would contaminate us. the lights that glint, cast a yellow-white glow and for once, i see you for who you are a boy too buzzed to feel a kid who only felt "sort of" a person who couldn't heal and a lover who could never give love
0
Jul 11, 2018
Jul 11, 2018 at 3:34 AM UTC
Noir
the electricity runs through our veins and past the street signs we rumble by in the car you stole, we go fifty above the speed limit, the roof of the car is the noir sky above and the midnight rain pelts our upturned faces the dancing drops of water drip onto our smiling lips the sound of the sky collapsing echoes the flashes that streak the sky, the flickering light casts paved roads with a brief brightness (as if god were wearing light up sketchers) the lacy brallette that wears me gives me the bravery to stand up in the speeding car the velvet pants that ripple with the wind drink up the nighttime rain and the rare headlights race past us, heading into homes and hearts the mellow playlist that connects the aux cord to our ears blasts so loud, we can no longer hear our insecurity the mascara that once clung to my eyelashes now streams down my face. on a two way street, we drive down the middle unafraid in the face of direct dangers so unaware of the towering empty skyscrapers and instead highly exhilarated from the street signs we drive by too fast to read the blocky lettering the road signs glint, smiling as we wave and reach towards them the cigarettes you smoked are thrown through the open window, still smothering slightly. i can still taste the smoke on your lips and your hand tucks my hair behind my ear and as the wind objects and inhales unreal in the hazy a.m. car trip the tunnel rushes towards us, and we both hold our breaths, as if breathing would contaminate us. the lights that glint, cast a yellow-white glow and for once, i see you for who you are a boy too buzzed to feel a kid who only felt "sort of" a person who couldn't heal and a lover who could never give love
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43
this is how it happens it's the last day the temperature will be above thirty-two degrees Fahrenheit until February you're not looking at the date it's just the end of November the middle of the night in the middle of a road at the end of November the hum of this small town hurts your ears you're stuck in a dream where everything you see turns into a weapon this is how it happens you knocked back sharp, amber liquid to make this place feel a little more okay and it only worked halfway no matter how soft the edges are you bruise your hips when you run into them in the dark you're ******* on your fourth cigarette when a police officer pulls over and asks how you're doing today in the too-bright white of the headlights the sick taste of Red Stag sticks to the roof of your mouth the mouth that you're moving into a smile the mouth exhaling plumes of smoke at the ground you're okay "i'm okay." you don't tell him what you're really doing you're really taking all of your thoughts about stopping your pulse for a walk you don't tell him you've been chasing ambulances all night long please, officer don't leave me alone, you don't say he tells you to have a good night and drives away and this is how it happens the moon smiles at you with every single one of its tiny, sharp teeth nobody but your cat finds you in that bathtub nobody but your cat watches you rise from red water watches it drip drip drip from every chasm carved in your left arm nobody but your cat saw the soft animal of your soul shiver from the cold that day it's the first day the temperature dropped below thirty-two degrees Fahrenheit inside your chest
0
Dec 7, 2017
Dec 7, 2017 at 9:48 AM UTC
i tried to **** someone once
this is how it happens it's the last day the temperature will be above thirty-two degrees Fahrenheit until February you're not looking at the date it's just the end of November the middle of the night in the middle of a road at the end of November the hum of this small town hurts your ears you're stuck in a dream where everything you see turns into a weapon this is how it happens you knocked back sharp, amber liquid to make this place feel a little more okay and it only worked halfway no matter how soft the edges are you bruise your hips when you run into them in the dark you're ******* on your fourth cigarette when a police officer pulls over and asks how you're doing today in the too-bright white of the headlights the sick taste of Red Stag sticks to the roof of your mouth the mouth that you're moving into a smile the mouth exhaling plumes of smoke at the ground you're okay "i'm okay." you don't tell him what you're really doing you're really taking all of your thoughts about stopping your pulse for a walk you don't tell him you've been chasing ambulances all night long please, officer don't leave me alone, you don't say he tells you to have a good night and drives away and this is how it happens the moon smiles at you with every single one of its tiny, sharp teeth nobody but your cat finds you in that bathtub nobody but your cat watches you rise from red water watches it drip drip drip from every chasm carved in your left arm nobody but your cat saw the soft animal of your soul shiver from the cold that day it's the first day the temperature dropped below thirty-two degrees Fahrenheit inside your chest
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47
Your laugh was a cloud Loud Enveloping Mist which covered me without the slightest resistance insistence I needed assistance to breathe Your laugh shows I'm useful shows there's a need For us as I feed on the delicious awkwardness we shared Caught unawares by being liked It's a shame your laugh was the cloud which hid a trucks headlights crash shared spent Your laugh a narcotic cloud I refuse to repent
0
Jan 12, 2015
Jan 12, 2015 at 4:13 PM UTC
Your laugh was a cloud
When someone praises me I'm like a deer under headlights Of course I'm delighted beaming, even But I really don't know- how to respond ... Do I brush it off? Act like it's not a big deal whether or not it really is And move on to another subject? ... Do I just stay quiet Look down shyly, and smile? Or just let the conversation pass me by? ... Do I adamantly reject it? Refuse, and insist to the point that the person before me ends up fighting with me about it? ... Do I roll with it, faking non-existent confidence? Owning up to it, sometimes in a joking manner? ... Do I immediately switch the topic to praising the one who praised me? Or have them talk about themselves to turn the attention from me? ... Or, do I just smile large and wide and thank the person? ... I don't know and it irritates me that I can even have trouble with something as lovely as a compliment ... It's not negative hurtful or even a criticism ... So why does it bother me? ... Maybe ... I care too much about what others think of me
0
Sep 27, 2018
Sep 27, 2018 at 9:15 PM UTC
Compliment
it is hell to have loved someone- to know you love them right now, still- so much and for so long, and to realize you don't actually feel them loving you back. if you turn onto a one-way street in the wrong direction, it is still dangerous, against the law even if you didn't see the sign. and just because i love and my love is accepted does not mean i'm on a two-way street. now i'm crushed. between metal and metal i'm crushed. in flashes, when you speak, i see myself chewed between your teeth. so when you light up when you smile when i say in some way that i love you, you are also the oncoming headlights, appearing suddenly, coming at me on the highway.
0
Apr 20, 2014
Apr 20, 2014 at 12:33 PM UTC
it is hell
The Radio is turned up loud And we're all just singing along With the windows down We don't know where we're going Just off into the future To chase our dreams elsewhere Were young and were dumb Couldn't care less to listen To the warnings our parents gave us Then in the blink of an eye All our life is flashing Like the headlights we didn't see In a moment caught in a car crash All the radio plays Is the silence of our beating hearts
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Sep 28, 2014
Sep 28, 2014 at 8:59 PM UTC
car crash
In a sermon, the preacher says: *"The Lord created us in his image, all who desecrate themselves too destroy a part of God."* I've murdered pets and alphabetised people by sense and style and laughs like a rack of dresses. I've kissed girls just because they said they could never like me like that as if their lips were some sacred maiden's blush and not a pair of fleshy rims. As if I couldn't read their ***** little lesbian fantasies underneath those angel faces. Susan from accounting thinks I need to see a therapist. I think she needs to see a mirror. We don't really get along, but **** maybe if drink enough these clocks these blue collars these billboards with the pearly white teeth won't look like straightjackets anymore. I have this thing where sometimes I'm just so tired of being a body. The world's a ******* advertisement, Everyone with their scripted good mornings and chemical feelings down to the last **** t. My skin is a cage and I'll strip it off like a ***** Why be happy when you could be interesting? Love like a bluejay, Fists in our stomachs- The headlights of a car coming at 80 miles an hour straight at you, pummeling in a stream of light. The taste of a cigarette after it's been on someone else's lips. Don't you dare tell me you understand. When I tell her this my therapist only smiles, Darling it's only purgatory. Allen knew. Nietzsche knew. Woolf knew. In all our hearts- We've already killed God.
0
Dec 14, 2018
Dec 14, 2018 at 2:49 PM UTC
Like Real People Do
# There was a time within me I wanted to be an actor beaming on stage or a screen big or small no matter to me after all The exposure is nice I guess and all that kind of stuff but that’s not what drew me to it Just being an actor was enough I enjoy performing and have a memory for lines One of those people who can quote a whole movie It plays in my head can fast forward and rewind But it’s easy to recite the work of another One who already searched within and discovered what to emote the affect and such To replay like a puppet That’s not saying much Could I nail the scene and get the feeling right? When other actors work with me maybe they might get inspired to the point they become lost in the scene We’re reliving the story A fantastic team When the director yells “Cut!” all applaud and cheer Tears in the eyes of some touching memories they hold near The performance The “art” that’s what matters most A singer belting out a song or a comic at a roast The thought of it now gets me giddy and inspired but yet here I sit In my chair I am mired Never took that step Overcoming all that fear My doubts and insecurities Worry how much others care That fear of failure or that I wouldn’t “measure up” A deer frozen in headlights I am forever stuck And as the time continues on The days, and months and years roll by Which is the greater loss? If I failed or never tried? #
0
Aug 8, 2018
Aug 8, 2018 at 4:20 AM UTC
“Action!”
Before I met you, I never knew what it felt like to look at someone and smile. To be happy just because someone is in my presence. I read somewhere the human heart beats approximately 4,000 times per hour. and if I had to guess, I would say 3,999 of those beats are spent on your laugh and your smile. The way the lines that form at your eyes look like our future together. how your freckles spell out 'i love you' just in case I ever started to doubt you. that one extra heartbeat I save for the moment you touch me because I know once you let go I will miss you so much I will end up sinking into oblivion. when I lay in bed at night I start to see the outline of your body the car headlights form a shadow on my wall. I hear the sound of your voice every time I flick the light switch and most nights I stand leaning against the wall continuously turning the light on and off and on and off and on and off and on and off. I've started sleeping with the phone next to my pillow just in case you call. you're the only one I want answering the phone as if hearing someone else's voice could bury me six feet under. I barely get out of bed anymore and it's not because I'm tired or lazy but because I've been digging my body into my mattress to try and feel your warmth. when you lie awake at night, unable to sleep I hope you think of me and know I've been trying to go to bed but I can't make it past the light switch.
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Dec 21, 2014
Dec 21, 2014 at 10:05 AM UTC
when you love someone so much it hurts
A beer can, phone book, a grapefruit and an Advent wreath with four candles in its nest of greens Two weeks Two lit Third one's the Pink a life three quarters spent? Next weekend Saturday-- The Sabbath falls in Hanukkah “Blessed art thou, Lord our God King of the universe who dost create lights of fire...” I'll light that third-- the pink one like a barbarian wise woman who traveled too far along life's way to find a Jewish baby, wrapped in rags ...or, was it the old guy that night lying in the street outside a New England bar “Oh Christ! Ya gotta be kidding me!” Nope, He was there alright Wallowing in the freezing slush amid his helpless drunken cries No cell phones then Scrapped my pizza plans On foot alone waving in frustration   in the passing headlights a turquoise, wind-crazed scarecrow ______ “Someone's gotta stop? Someone has to help us, don't they?” ______ Now there are two beer cans a grapefruit, and a phone book beside the advent wreath Third candle lit and leaning out for hope along the way
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Dec 15, 2017
Dec 15, 2017 at 3:05 PM UTC
Advent Still Life
My couch, Is death, And avoidance is a second language, Ask me do I speak it? Conjoined twins, Of misery and manipulation, No calls, Only cushions and customer's custom complaints, From tomorrow, The phone wont ring, So I'll stay down this road, Listening to headlines and headlights Sing, Moody music dwelling, Where the lies and shame met in between, Cut the cue, end the scene The stage has been rebuilt, We talked like teenagers, And you told me that I've changed, But the same, Still that same number, No more gap, But your smile still kills, Pain with palendromes, We were here before, And so again we, Our fighting saying goodnight, Street lamps in different cities, Static. I'm just fine, Playing my part, My mainstream maybe different, But Obsession has been overcame, By the rising tide of a smile, If the teleprompting signs shine through, Meanwhiles and meditations What can I do, Except hope I'm reading, The Right Script, The couch, It asks, Where have you been? I set down another, chip.
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Jun 13, 2018
Jun 13, 2018 at 1:41 AM UTC
Then and Now: A Mishmash of Feelings and You Knows & Who Knows
How deep were we in? Restrained by chains that burn our skin Car headlights, a hush falls over Shines through the window, time feels slower I hope he knows that we care He grabbed him, dragged him by his hair Cry, scream, or maybe not Could have done anything, but we couldn't make him stop
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Jul 10, 2018
Jul 10, 2018 at 3:10 PM UTC
i have hated you since then