Winter is icummen in,
Lhude sing Goddamm,
Raineth drop and staineth slop,
and how the wind doth ramm,
        Sing: Goddamm.
Skiddeth bus and sloppeth us,
An ague hath my ham.
Freezeth river, turneth liver,
        **** you, sing: Goddamm.
Goddamm, Goddamm, ’tis why I am, Goddamm,
        So ‘gainst the winter’s balm.
Sing goddamm, damm, sing Goddamm,

Sing goddamm, sing goddamm, DAMM.

This is a story I started to write about 3 or 4 years ago and still working on it.

The Great Journey
By: Tyler Jenne'

Chapter 1: New heroes

    There once was a small town known as Nightville. It was one of many small towns that had been split up from one big city. The king of nightville was the ruler of all the land. He became one of the most fear rulers of the Ancient city. As he sat upon his throne while the execution of 3 criminals was about to commence. These 3 criminals were Tyler, Paul, and Aren they were being executed for committing treason against the town of nightville. Before the execution could get under way Tyler asked to speak with the king. As the guards escorted Tyler, Paul, and aren to the king they noticed a shinny spark outside of the castle walls. The guard said to the King that 3 prisoners wish to speak to him.

    My guards tell me that you 3 wish to make  a deal with me to lesson your charge of treason said the king. Yes if there is anything that we can do to lesson our charge feel free to ask answered Tyler. Now that you mention it there is one thing the 3 of you can do for me replied the king. I have a little problem that you might be able to help me with. Sure what is it replied Paul. This kingdom was once part of a Ancient City. And something of great value was taken quite some time ago answered the king. It's called the Ancient Artifact it is what give the ancient city life. I have a friend that will help guide you to your destination.

    How far do we have to travel before we meet your friend asked aren. He is in the Majestic forest of Tieranorith replied King Goldencrown. All I can say is that you must travel through the rigorous valley of lost souls, but beware of the treacherous orcs lieing within the brush of the valley. How do we know if we'll be going the right way asked Paul. Trust in yourself to guide you through the valley. There is only one way to go and no way you can get lost answered king goldencrown. You are no longer criminals you are 3 brave warriors under the command of King Goldencrown. Now off you go and may your inner spirit serve you well and guide you to the safe haven of the ancient city.

   So as the  3 friends rode off on their horses towards the majestic forest of tieranorith. The roads were rocky and rough as the friends traveled through brush and rubble of Old Nightville. It's nothing, but a wasteland said Tyler. Just remember if we do this our debt to society will be erased from the records of the justice court of nightville said aren. We must keep moving before it gets dark said Paul. The 3 friends found a cave to rest for the night so they could have enough energy to resume their journey. Little did the 3 friends know, but orcs were slowly creeping up on the 3 warriors. As the friends woke from their slumber they smelled something foul in the air. Oh god what is that awful stench asked Paul. It smells like something died or was killed in the night. Yeah I smell it too damm that stinks answered aren. I smell it too, but it doesn't smell like something that was killed in the night it smells like a grotesque creature that is hiding from the light replied Tyler.

   Above on the mountain top far away a shadow like figure watch the brave warriors continue their travels towards the dark valley of lost souls. He sent his minions out to get rid of the brave warriors. Knowing that there was already a pack of rabid orcs and wolves on their heels. Minions seek out the leader of the orcs and bring them to me shouted the shadow figure. As the minions set out to join the rabid group of orcs in ridding their land of the brave warriors. Meanwhile the braves warriors reached the valley of lost souls. It's so dark here said Tyler. Legend has it that there was a great battle waged in this valley replied aren. It used to be a grand arena where they had brave gladiators fight to the death. They must have been brutal battles here replied Paul. You can still see the blood stains in the sand. Whoa did you guys feel that? asked Tyler. I don't feel anything replied aren. Yeah me neither said Paul. I could have sworn I felt something had gently brushed me on the cheek said Tyler. Maybe the heat of this valley is getting to me.

   Halfway through the desert filled valley the brave warriors look at each other in awe at the amazement of carnage left from a ****** and brutal wars. Holy crap look shouted Aren. It looks like something is up ahead. Whoa that's weird replied Tyler. As the brave warriors looked ahead and kept moving forward they could see a bloodshed of dead bodies lieing in their way. Oh my goodness what happened here asked Paul. There are bodies everywhere answered Aren. The bodies were mangled and hanging off of tree limbs. We have to keep moving said Paul. The brave warriors climbed over the dead bodies thankfully they made it to the end of the valley of lost souls. As the sun began to fall the brave warriors stop into a dark forest. This is interesting said Tyler. Let's get some sleep and in the morning we'll explore this odd forest. The sky was dark and lurking in the darkness orcs were getting closer and closer to the brave warriors. As the wind began to blow the trees back and forth the orcs jumped to and from the trees with ease. The next morning as the sun rose from behind the great mountain.

    High above the great mountain was the shaman of the north. He had kept watch over the brave warriors since they made their way through the valley of lost souls. It shouldn't be much longer until they reach the majestic forest of of Tieranorith. I only hope vaiking hasn't sent his minions out after them said Matthew. As the brave warriors woke from their slumber they looked around at the forest. Wow those are huge trees said aren. I can see a giant mountain and at the top of it is what looks like a church of some sort replied Paul. Halt who has been tresspassing through my forest asked King Anthony. I'm Tyler and these are my friends Paul and Aren. What brings you into my forest? asked King Anthony. We are in search of an ancient artifact replied aren. Oh yes I remember a long time ago when the ancient artifact was used to power the ancient city, but again that was a long time ago replied King Anthony.  So the story of the ancient city is true? asked Tyler. Yes very much so answered King Anthony.

    Your forest is amazing said Paul. Thank you I come out here from my castle when something is troubling me replied Anthony. Does anyone know who would take the ancient artifact? asked aren. Many of the rulers throughout the ancient city believe it's vaiking who took the ancient artifact replied Anthony. You may not have realized it, but as you walked through the valley of lost souls you passed through a invisible portal that only can be seen when the artifact is back where it belongs. Do know of vaikings where about? asked Paul. No replied Anthony. He was once a member of the great council within the ancient city. When there was a disagreement between two parties. We would take it to the council for final deliberation.

    Is the great counsel still active? asked Tyler. No replied Anthony. After the artifact was taken the cousin siece to exist. There was no reason to keep the cousin in effect since the city is revolves around the artifact. Who do you think might know where the artifact would located at? asked Paul. The shaman of the north might know replied Anthony. He lives at the top of the great mountain.  You must know that the artifact isn't one specific thing, it was broken into six pieces. Without all the pieces the ancient city will stay in darkness. Ok got it get artifact bring it to the ancient city to restore the life of the great counsel and the city said aren. Before you leave take these horses for they will help you get to the top of the great mountain.

    As the brave warriors left the forest heading north towards the great mountain. Still unaware of what was following them orcs were leaping from tree to tree. Who's there? asked aren. Is someone out there? What's wrong aren? asked Paul. I thought I heard something moving through the trees replied aren. I'm sure it was just the wind blowing through them said Paul. Maybe your right replied aren. Let's keep moving we are almost them to the great mountain. The brave warriors rode towards the  mountain on the horses. Riding up the first giant hill of this mountain was taking its toll on the brave warriors. Higher and higher they scaled the mountain. How much longer till we reach the top asked Tyler. Another day or so replied aren. The heat of the sun was beaming down onto the brave warriors. Water  I need water gasped Paul. Here drink from my canteen said Tyler. Thanks man I needed that said Paul. Your welcome replied Tyler.

    To their surprise as the sun was beating down on them a white flake fell from the sky. What the hell is this asked aren. It looks like snow answered Tyler. It was indeed snow falling from the sky, but not because of the gods above. The shaman of the north had cast a spell causing the snow to fall. He did this to help the brave warriors keep distance from the orcs that were behind them. The orcs still followed the brave warriors from behind, but not on the ground. they continued to swing from the trees.

Only to their surprise they were dropping like flies and hitting the ground  with much velocity. The ground shook violently to the core leaving not a trace of the orc. Let's find some cover before this blizzard topples over us said Paul. In here replied aren.  Into a cave they went not know what they would come across in the process. Lets rest in here for the night said Tyler. I'll build a fire replied aren.

The snow fell continuously throughout the night. The weather was treacherous to the point of barricading the entrance to the cave that the brave warriors were in. Morning came and the brave warriors woke to total darkness. Holy Crap what happened to the light said Paul. It looks as if the snow came completely over the cave entrance and now we're trapped in  here replied aren. I'll light a torch for us. Let's go this way there has to be another way out of this cave. The brave warriors made their way through the dark and wet cave.

     How much longer until we see another way out of this cave asked aren.  I don't know replied Paul. Let's keep moving if we stop we'll lose momentum to get back on the trail towards  the great mountain. Time went on and the braves warriors felt as if they had been in this cave for months even a year. Dude we really need to find a way out of here said Tyler. It's going to be ok man just calm down replied aren. I think I see something sparking in the corner over here. The brave warriors had stumble across a shiny piece of metal. ******* it's the first piece of the artifact said Paul. Cool let me see replied Tyler. I think I see some light up ahead. As the brave warriors kept moving forward the light became brighter and brighter the closer they moved towards it. They reached the area of where the light was shinning from. The light was coming from a wall of some sort. When the brave warriors pushed on the mysterious wall it opened to a room of what looked like was once a part of a castle from the roman era. There in the middle of the room was a mysterious hooded figure. Your travels have finally brought you to me for more guidance said the mysterious figure. Who are you and what do you want from us asked Paul. It is not what I want from you, but want can I help you with replied the mysterious figure. Not knowing that it is Matthew the shaman of the north behind the hood.

      The brave warriors scratch their heads in curiosity they think to themselves The has to be some sort of reason for us being able to survive all the obstacles we've faced in our journey for the ancient artifact said aren. Yeah, but it's not like this guy is the reason for us surviving the weather answered Paul. If he was the reason we should asked him why he has helped us make it this far and also where are we right now. You may be wondering who I am and where you are said the hooded figure. Yeah we were just thinking that answered Paul. My name is Matthew and I am known as the shaman of the north.  It's nice to meet you I'm Paul and these are my friends Tyler and aren. I know I have watched over you from the time you left nightville replied Matthew. You have many question and I have many answers for you. I know you wish to know where you are.
We are standing in a castle that used to be one of the many kingdoms within the ancient city long ago. Also you wish to know the time period you are in. When king Anthony had told you that when you made it through the valley of souls you passed through a portal into his forest, well that forest is part of the roman era. So we are in the roman empire days asked Tyler. Yes replied Matthew. The days of the roman empire are far from the glory days.

I remember when the roman empire was at their highest of having soldiers up to 300 strong. Did they have many wars during their reign asked aren. They did more so against barbarians that had came from the north replied Matthew. At that time the roman empire didn't have 300 soldiers, but enough to defend their lands. Again it was a long time ago, but the sands will forever be stained with the blood of the brave roman soldiers that defended their land. Anthony told us about vaiking and how he was once a part of the great counsel is there anything more you can tell us about vaiking and his part within the counsel? asked Paul. Ah yes vaiking he was once a part of the great counsel replied Matthew. He was second in line to be head of  the counsel and when things didn't go his way in the election for head of the great counsel. After that vaiking became obsessed with gaining the power of which that position held. He swore on the lives of everyone children and families that we would all pay for our decisions. Well does anyone know what happen to vaiking after his breakdown over power asked Paul. Last we knew he was building an army of orcs and minions to destroy the great counsel answered Matthew.

      The council decided to evacuate everyone within the ancient city take them to an unknown location to keep everyone safe from harm Matthew continued. After vaiking broke down about not getting the top seat of the council he swore that he would bring pain and suffering upon all those who conspired against him. As vaiking walked into the darkness with nothing more to lose the sand storm that ran through here destroyed almost everything and everyone. Soon thereafter no one has heard from or knows where vaiking disappeared to.  Many say he was swallowed by the sand storm and he now hide within the darkness where he stays because of the shame he brought to nightville. That must of been awful for him to feel betrayed by people he thought he could trust replied aren. Maybe a part of him did feel betrayed, but nobody felt more betrayed then the ancient city did answered Matthew.

We must leave for we aren't safe here there are orcs following you. they've been following from the very start of your journey. The four friends set forth to continue their journey of finding the remaining pieces of the ancient artifact. Still the orcs and minions were hot on their trail. Some orcs were riding on wolves where the remaining orcs scaled through the trees. The lead orc was one of the most dangerous orcs ever to ride on a wolf. His name was drake and nobody could match his strength. With one fell swoop he could lay waste to an entire group of soldiers with his mighty axe. The axe blade was made from harden steel and the base of his axe was carved from the trees of the majestic forest of Tieranorith. Someone let  lord vaiking that we have the shaman of the north and the three brave warriors in our sight ordered Drake.  As his fellow orcs sent word to lord

It’s kinda pointless
The purpose was clear as its intention
But still, it was kinda pointless
It was like when a kid lets go of his balloon.
The string slowly evaporates from his hand
As he covers his brow looking skyward to the horizon
He let go of his first lover because maybe that would make his wishes come true
Or maybe he let it go so a part of him could touch God.

It was kinda pointless.
Our on and off again two month relationship
Every two months or so I would create every insecurity that my poetic lips could fabricate
Twist and turn on my restless nights in one way street fashion
But those other every two months
Were magical
I could write a million poems about your body if only my hands weren’t too busy touching it
I would memorize the way your footsteps walked home incase I ever needed to find you
And every song on the radio was our love song
But for another two months I let you go officially
And I guess that was kinda pointless
*** now I pointlessly think aimlessly for why I did it
Maybe I just didn’t want to see you evaporate from my hands again
Or maybe it’s *** I thought if I let go of my first lover, my wishes would come true
Or maybe it’s because when I’m kissing you, I feel like I could touch God
And that just scared me

But when a kid lets go of a balloon,
He thinks he’s done with it, but he knows he’s never gonna get it back.
But God, damm it, I want it back.
I want a reason to smile and know I’m smiling for a reason
I want something to hold my wrist, to go on adventures with
Making love with you was never pointless, and no, I don’t regret it.
In fact, it was flawless.
And I’d be skipping for days, waiting to do it again
But the feeling was lost. We let it evaporate from our hands.
We let our emotions escalade and we lost it.
Sacrificed it to a summer’s day
Watched it float into one of God’s crevices
Letting go you, was like letting go of a balloon.
I’m forced to watch it drift away but I never, ever, really saw it pop.

When you let go of a balloon, it kisses the sky.
So I kissed you good-bye in hopes you will reach new heights.

I remember when you were a dime a dozen--available economy sized.
I remember when I could not touch the ceiling of my debts to you.
I remember when we were not of waning worth.

Paper. Pen.
    Let's write out our feelings.
    "I'm having a rough time."
Cell phone
Online recipes.
    I should cook that soon.
Hotel websites.
    Free breakfast? Eh I'm vegan now so just fruit.
    Swimming pool? I'm sure it'll be busy
    Fitness center. Leo wants to run in the morning.
    Booked. Could be a good night.
Paper. Pen.
    Right. Writing.
    "I can tell journaling is helpful
    because I'm resistant to doing it."
Text messages.
    Leo thinks they were too mean to me.
    I think I deserve it.
    I love you.
Paper. Pen.
    Hm. I should write some poetry.
Photos.
    Wow look at how my face has changed, let's make a collage.
    Oo what else.
    Body pictures.
    Pre-surgery picture.
    Damm I've really sculpted up.
    Reconsiders feeling gross physically.
    Arguable.
Paper. Pen.
    How easy it is to ignore you.
    How easy it is to ignore myself
    And not listen to my feelings.

I remember growing up in the city
I did not know where my next meal was coming from
Or if I would have boots or a winter jacket
But some things were consistent
My neighbors, shooting straight up in the street
My parents screaming about rat traps and paying last month's damm rent

And I come from nothing
And I ain't never gonna be good enough

And yo man my brothers and my sisters we don't got nobody but ourselves
But that's all we ******* need

Like, I walk in a joint but I don't smoke it
And y'all so inconsiderate and call it joking

You've never been where I've been
So you will never be where I'm at
And yeah it's hard to deal
But I ain't never finna go back

And it's fresh in my mind like air Jordan's till the day I die
Y'all watch me live my god damm life a way you will never understand why

Y'all gotta Mercedes you drive around there bendz
And all I have are my family and my ******* friends
But people will always be greater that possessions
Man things are **** compared to this life's lessons

And I wish to God I had someone to relate to
I look in the mirror and I say; this ain't me, this ain't you
But we from the streets we do what we do
Get in my way I still do what I gotta do

But it ain't my fault, I didn't chose the don't **** with me life, the don't **** with me life chose me
And now I make my choice, for the now and the tomorrow, I'll smile through all the pain and sorrow

Because you brought it all back to my mind like a whole *** fool
But ***** your a peasant so let the queen of the streets rule

My days with you are seeds
that bloom at night.
Our love is life in agreement.

I write  to preserve what is
-in vain-
still the future's dear to me.

You must understand it is not only
death and lonelyness, that grow with days,
also love & life grow
the warmth of your hand
and friendship, each day.

American arrogance
Notwithstanding
Our benevolence
Being unfurled
Ego and influence
Ever expanding
Now we' re policing
The whole ******* world
My father was bled in Korea
Cousins slaughtered in nam
Now the prize is Judea
Tell me why I should
Give a God damm
There is no stopping genocide
Human nature is covered in blood
Take this little fact
Mix in some pride
Leaves Africa swimming in mud
I don't care
What they do to each other
I have two sons
So I don't give a damm
Tell me why
You think I should bother
We will always be bleeding the lamb.        Hy

waking to the fresh of dawn my body aches another snore
feel the need for sleep i do ..wakey wakey teapot brew
damm the night that had me hooked.. tv ,beer and loads a grub
just five more is all i ask sleep a little ..alarming bash

DESTINY IS A S0N OF A ***** 01-22-11

Destiny most certainly means death
But down here, ***** murders are allowed.
A Low profile is seen as weak, soon
slaughtered by their predators.

Truth: Oakland gangsters are serous.

They bang it for the colors,
colors of their territory
collateral damage lay dead
in the street; the rotting innocent.

This conflict, this senseless war
between three colors, blue, red and black
is why violent Oakland is now called
..... "Baby Iraq", yep you heard me: BABY IRAQ

a ****** occurs every three days
....over red, blue and black.
They say they fight over turf and colors.
I think they're the same damm thing.
Thier colors mark the poles like dogs.
The scent of the enemy is evident.

Intel from the neighborhood walls
reveals the constant dissonance
and the unwillingness to lose.

A grenade of spray paint,
criss-crossing, the others' lines
until it's time to get some respect,
Ya feel me?!?

I hear this phrase so many times
it hardly phases me anymore.
Yeah, I feel ya, dude,
now whatcha gonna do?

This one boy's eyes had me mesmerized.
As he talked softly into the distance.
He began to rock in a sad back and forth,
as his homies began to surround him

He was the wise one, the shot caller
even with  his weak form peeing in a bag
hanging from his wheel chair.

Javier was wearing black, the color from his hood
He was just a gang affiliate until color blue
( or was it red?)pulled up and shot him...
he's no longer walking, in a wheel chair instead.

He was beautiful I fell most in love
with his angelic face with an elf's chin
coffee with lot's of cream color skin
He was smooth as porcelain

He had a youthful moustache
and a memory of a war veteran
He is a gang member now,
in the middle of a warzone.

"Be Bait", "Play Chicken",
take chances, on the enemy's
turf, become victor or victim

Names of games, dangerous,
and fun provoking the violence
passed down through each generation
Some sort of genetic adrenaline.

The series of small deadly battles
leaves a smell of fresh gun powder
asphalt and blood spilled iron
three colors pouring out,
turn into the color of wine.

Hopelessness is proven out
by the swollen death count,
mounting up, the line of corpses
waiting to be thrown off gurneys
entering the morgue, then
tossed into the freezer
with the rest of them.

Baby Iraq has become
a force of its own on the street.
If they ever figured that out,
They'd be running the nation.

They are too caught up
in their fathers' hatred
History repeats, written line by line
Raw power in the clutch of stupid minds,
begins and ends with small apocalypses.

In dire situations, they eat their young,
like ******
The gobbling up of offspring is
nothing new or unsacred.

It's what they do to
postpone their own fate.

Any beneficial gain is not felt yet
but will be, in the events that
did NOT happen

They don't get it
there is no benefit.
They all just die.

I am tired,  and just now laying down
in my bed.. I can't believe I can finally
get some rest.

What a day, sweetie.
You were on my mind  all day
and I could  feel the tender-hearted
sadness and vulnerability welling up in you..
So very interesting that it has gone
this route.. and the gates open back up,
but with a well-oiled  swing this time...
And you are wondering if there is
really enough love available to  truly
save a person..  And you gasp out loud
as I pull you  close to me,
as if you did not know that was something
that could even be done in this world--
my hand to the small of your back
as my mouth presses  softly
to the side of your face..

and I whisper words of warm,  loving support,
           deeply into you--
  tears..  streaming down your beautiful face
    as your whole body trembles.

"This kind of world is so unfamiliar to me,
I don't even know how to be right now..  
And just as much..
   I have no idea how or what to feel.  
I've been crying a lot--  over all the
things I've had to face..
along with all of these changes.
And when I told you that I missed
you.. I really meant it.  

    ..But then you hurt me bad.. real bad"

You are angry and still hurt.
but you can't stop pulling at my shirt--
clenched in your hand, at my chest..
so much  that you are about to tear
my buttons.

"Why do you do that to me
when I need you so much..  
why.. when I open up and trust  

    and need you the most,  
            why do you do that?"

You are shaking me with both fists  now
but there is still the look  of deep
love in your eyes..  and as they look
directly into mine, your tears of anger
and hurt  give way to the overwhelming
desire to press  up against me..
and have me kiss you   deeply.

    Looming overhead
    is my cloud-incased,  need
    to  not  cast a vote  on the
    current status-quo..

     ..To  not  call today--
      'everything we've worked toward
      until today,  is enough'


"You will  end up
in my bed, beautiful girl..
and we'll be together--
pushing forward,  pushing  in to..
   everything that you have taken in,
   so far..
..But I am scared shitless  of the
ever-limiting nature  the
threat of mundaneness  brings about
by complacency within the inner-self..

..And so with you, my beautiful..
I light a skyrocket under  that
gorgeous, sweet *** of yours..
    And throughout  the cosmos
    And into the Realms  you shoot..

.. But am I not  always  the one
who catches you before you fully fall--
scary as the unfair launch into the sky is..
I have always, always  caught you."


"You have, Paul.
I'm going to fall in love  with you
harder than I ever have in my life
because of who you have
been to me throughout the years..

..But one day.. I'm gonna stand up
and punch you--  right in the nose..
   ..then leave..

   because of  h o w  you  have 
   been to me throughout the years."


"Damm right you will, Babe.
Now get the ****  over here       
      and give me a kiss..
      ..And you
      have to pretend like you like it, too.."

"I'm still mad at you Paul..
and you're such a pervert.  But I
know how much you love these,  
so I want to show them to you"

--As you gently  pull on your  cute,
flowery black dress's belt.. it slowly
unwraps  and falls down, onto the grass..

My eyes are staring at your beautiful body..
     that absolutely perfect skin..
those lusciously-gorgeous  *******..
the curve of those hips,  the shape of
your thighs..

    "Do you like what you see?"


"Ah, Babe..
    more than I have words for."




(but you see.. there's still this thing I do..)

i think,
about everything
every little thing
wether it be the way I walk
Or how best to converse

So much that I unconsiously remove myself from the world and everything in it

Yet even then
I end up thinking,
About nothing at all
Throwing thought aside

And depending on feeling alone

You are beautiful,
You are breathtaking
You are quirky,
You are funny,
You are unique,
You are awkward.
You are weird
You are loveable.
You are you,
And you is pretty
Damm spectacular.

The air felt thick as it rushed up from the forrest
in my mind i needed to breath yet my lungs gave in
this earth that we so trust and need was failing me
breath damm it breath

as i lay there stars appeared as the shallow began
pings of pain popping and piercing in that need for air
fight all out yet need all the more
this breath without me i'll be no more
breath damm it breath

the light stared to fail was this near the end
as breath without me was soon my best freind
no more pain just a calmness within
joy at the freedom my new world begin
my new world begin

Its starts with a weird look on your face
happy and sad grateful for a while
you are alive
then the cold hands touch you
Damm i almost forgot
she is there right next to me
as beautiful as she can be
getting ready to pout
you love her and almost hate her for it.
And so the craziness begins.

Another age is weeping
Feirce the killing heart
No more time in grace
Let us  tear the age apart
False scent of fear blinds us all
Wish I could wish Mann undone
Demons and angels rise to the call
For the souls bleeding out in the sun
When those sworn to god spew lgnorance
What hope is there for the lamb
History lays bear our indifference
Of those who use god in their damm
Righteous or evil the point is the view
Contradiction I say it is not
Cry for the children the least you can do
Some would say we deserve what you got
There lies the question
With no answer clear
Stain of Mann is consuming the sun
If death is the lesson
Dance in the fear
Dream evil when kingdom is come

Damm , sounds like home to me
T. S. Elliott's wasteland
Where puragatory worst residence live
Raise a toast to the Ghost of Christmas Past
for you haven't the pressence to make a future out of it .
Where happy hour never ends and friendship is sealed by the clink of glass
And all the women have traces of ***** on their lips as they ask hey buddy will you buy me a beer
Year after year until O'Hara's Pub and Grill becomes your Thanksgiving , Easter , Memorial Day , Christmas , and New Years Day
And they even paint a reserved parking space out back for you
But they were the only bar open for the blizzard when everyone took acid and danced barefoot in the snow

damm,
so i had a hard fall,
my friends had a ball.
said it was funny nd i was a dummmy...
my leg is all messed up so i am all dressed up ,.
open flesh?.
I'm still fresh
i may be limpin ,.
        buhh I'm still pimpin c:

Dear Amy

The sun is smiling at you
The beach calls you
Why are you hiding ?!
You're so beautiful, put on your bikini now and go show off your body.
Are not you shaved?
Your hair on the body is not sin, it was God who put it there.
Show the skin, show the veins show your face.

Dear Amy

Your face is so beautiful your skin and so lush, but remember what I told you?
You're more than that.
Your beauty will pass by one day your lush skin will have wrinkles.
But your mind and your brain will  have knowledge forever.

Dear Amy

I like your legs I like your body, I like to see you in every way.
You do not need them to find you ****.
Put that lingerie on you and show me those stretch marks.

Look in the mirror and say:

Damm! My stretch marks make me a mermaid.
My weight makes me happy and  I was not made to follow standards.

Beauty standards  weaken me
And I'm a woman
I'm not weak.

I was born strong and no one is going to take that away from me.

I was not born to please those who do not care about me.
I am confident and I make of my scars experiences.
You need to hear this truth.
You do not owe anyone your body.
You do not owe anyone your sanity.
And even if you change, you will never please everyone.
The only  person who has to be  pleased is me.
Today wash your face and leave the makeup, show the freckles, let the skin breathe.
But tomorrow if you want to put your lipstick red and slay.
Do not let them steal your freedom.
You are a butterfly.
 Free yourself
And fly.

Dear Amy

Stop selling your brain girl.
Stop selling your sanity.
They do not deserve the prominence you give them.
Remember that you have fire inside.

Seek  for yourself   in the midst of your imperfections, date with your insecurities.

You need them  to feel alive.
Do not give them the pleasure of controlling your brain.
You are selling your feelings to leeches.
Nobody is perfect.
Accept this .
They do not want to know what you feel.
They want to rob you of the right to speak.
Take the shine you have inside you
And let it flow.

Worried about all those gays getting married
Playing football , everywhere on the TV
Yeah , and all those dammed dessert rats
Chopping off heads for all of us to see
Shooting those Muslim creeps
Everyone of them had it coming
Now , that's just the way it's going to be

And all those porch monkeys
Cut off all that gimme
They need to get a job
And quit dressing like they were slobs

Kick all those wet backs back to Mexico
There stealing all our jobs
They just come over to breed like rabbits
So they can stuff the liberal ballots

And Damm the chinks , ***** , and redman
There no better than all the Jews
Ther're thieves that steal us blind
We need to get rid of every X , Y , and U
Now that would ease my mind

And all that hogwash crap in the Constitution
That doesn't apply to me
This is the home of the White man
All red , blue , and white you see
That's the home of all that's me ,

HOW DOES GOD WORK? 08-18-10

How is it that two young teenage girls can get up early to go to school so they can attend an early morning prayer group in the lobby of their school, only to put themselves in the line of fire of a teenage lunatic who walks in and starts shooting?

Why, God? WHO ARE YOU, GOD? WHAT ARE YOU, GOD?

This is a true account of one of the first school massacres. In Kentucky, in 1997? A kid is so abused and disillusioned with his young life, he freaks out. He kills his mother. He tortures his dog to death.

In preparation for the final payback. An attack at the school with all guns blazing. Heath High School, fourteen year old gun man.

In an interview, he said, “My mother never loved me!”


Why does everyone thank God when they survive catastrophes? Why are they in the catastrophe? Are they thanking God, then? Hell no! They are pleading with Him. The pleading may lead to nothing and they fall out of the sky in an ill-fated airplane “accident”.

Yet, if they survive, they are praising God almighty. Why?

Why do we damm God when we hate life, and praise God when we survive it?

Why is life so ******* haphazard and unfair?

These are my questions:

If God is so powerful, why doesn’t He give us some answers? Why do I have to witness so much ******, mayhem, abuse, and pain? Why don’t I see more miraculous salvations from sure death?

It’s too late for me, but why doesn’t He help the innocents? The creatures we see on TV commercials, who are maimed, beaten, and dying in front of our eyes? Where is His sense of justice? Where is his sense of “Humanity”?

Why do I remain, with no reason to live? Why not take me, instead of that poor abused dancing bear? Or that beat to death donkey? Why?

Am I worth more than His other creatures, much more innocent and helpless than I?

Why?

did i win? ,was i rich ?,damm them numbers ..nought came in
bet my soul ,didna save my skin ,still i lost win no win
so its dosh ,cash less me but im not poor with family
heard success is raising the bar ...bar of life or bar of strife

I have the best ,family life with health and child.. and ...what a wife
so when its measured in jobs and work ,forget that charge its love to shine .....
who will be there at your death ?,your boss who you worked for blood and sweat ??
your wife and kids and family grief ..they will cry and need relief
so when success is in your hand ...feed the love and understand
family first and all to follow,money aint success just sorrow

see your past?.
yeah your ex just flashed. x)
she is nasty, don't feal ******.
see your future damm she's classy.
see her smile will walk you a mile, Live up,  
        Grow up,
I-
Might-
Just-
throw up.
she was lost thats not your'e cost :)
her love could not get bought.
I can't just watch you rot?!
you are loved you're in my thaughts.
You're screams..
                  there in my dreams....

I  Love You
For that Imperfection

That Imperfection
That draws You to Me......

That Imperfection that doesn't let u see
the flaws in Me ..............

If life was so Perfect
as One would want it to Be
I'd never have You next to Me ...............

I Love You
For that Imperfection
In Your smile
In Your Mind
When gone Wild ..
In Your silly Man Child ways
Cuz with that bad good wouldn't stay...

Your so Damm good at being Bad...

I Must Insist .....
I Can't Resist ......

All Your Imperfect Ways
Seem so Perfect to Me....

Years went by and a single dream
Intoxicated me like none other.

Willow leaves whispered silent lullabies
And the sunlight's rays poured into my haze
I stared longingly at the possibility.............

Yet these lustful diaries
so forbidden,
so drunk with rich fantasies,
the smell of each thought
fumed with tempestuous spirits
dragged me under into the lonely abyss.

And the fantasized romance became torture
and freedom -
limitation and liberation all at once.
This dream was a playground.
A sanctuary, a church to let my spirit soar.
Glorious joy I could feel, but only for a second

Then, the truth sank in
like a sinking ship  

The shackles of a single question still haunts me
-- what if?
And I wonder.

The pain is dull, haunting, yet hangs over me constantly
I am reminded that I remained in my dream world.
Unable to speak up,
From the wisdom of the pure heart

Unable to see the dream was always on this earthly plain
In plain sight.

In frustation, rage, and pain
Silent pain

I flip through my poetry account


-- God damm it. I have done this before

walking down the alley
midday walk with my dog
Hey he says
nice day isn't it
he's a chicago native obviously
it's forty degrees
and he's in shorts, a T shirt
and flipflops
yes I say
wearing my gilet and heavy coat
it's nice with the sun out,
summer soon he says
and it'll be
too damm hot again

snakes eyes again
    god damm twelve times in row
can't ever lucky me
    get a seven eleven
I had all my rent money
     riding on that
how 'bout
          for what i lost
you give me a room
           to play this silicone
blonde up a bit
              before I give you the title
to my Benz
           Or, I see you a hard *** MF
how 'bout we play
    double for nothing?

This world is stained
In the sorrow of children
The lion devours the lamb
Even the righteous are choking in sin
And nobody gives a god damm
Betrayal's a keystone when something's to gain
Like despair bleeding tears on demand
Afflicting chaos and ruin like a summer rain
Just look what is done by our hand
I will tell what son's of Mann have achieved
Waging war on the backs of the meek
In their silent vigil the poor cry bereaved
While we tear out their other cheek
These are the details played out everyday
In a world going stark raving mad
For us to have a tomorrow,we must give this today
Yet we won't and its just freakin sad.         Hy

He seemed the perfect gentleman, his friends and neighbors said
He seemed to dote upon his wife, attending her every need.
They never were seen to quarrel, their cul-de sac agreed.
Like two white swans they seemed to float upon Life’s stormy seas.
But Perhaps all wasn’t perfect; just a show for others’ eyes-
beneath the surface; a furious struggle;. Concealed with a web of lies.

So in their quiet neighborhood; so rich and well-to do.
They acted out contentment so that no one had a clue.
Until the town patrolman came and found her on the floor;
Victim of a crime of passion, stabbed twenty times or more.
Her husband wore pajamas that were stained a crimson red.
“Don’t bother with an ambulance- I made damm sure she’s dead.”
He sat with his morning paper puffing on a cigarette.
and on his face there was no trace of remorse or regret.

Playing the games that lovers do. But I, was never I.
Photos longing to be touch.  ME, I love me oh so much.
I could never see you. You were just a prop. A puppet show.
For me to walk on by......brown eyes...brown eyes....and your half way
smile. Smile through the pain. Half way but not a mile.
      Selfish ***** ---- Selfish *****
What a witch was I. Did you see me always ready for a pose.

You were crazy, sorry that was me. You sleep now.
Maybe I will see you one day. No. I don't think I could handle that depth.
So....maybe?....Never, lets let it be. You loved me! But I know you loved others. Damm pictures reminding me of what should have been.  
You haunt me. Now I don't feel free. Chains on me now.
God, set me free.
Puppet show, puppet show  .....who has the strings now.
Haven't seen you in a while.

You stand there pleading but she's sure.. She's that sure she's leaving she's nearly out the door.. You stand there your hurting.. But what can you do? Life's a driver and you feel like your the *****.. Going deeper and deeper implanted in the wood.. Your hearts there splintering when only she could.. Mend you back.. Put the pieces in place.. Life's a long journey but she's pulled me out of the race.. How can you do this.. Your all that I am..? You stand there looking but you do not give a Damm.. Ill write you a poem a song in tow..Anything to stop you leaving.. Do not go.. But as the door shuts.. It's the final part.. Thats the final piece broken of my heart.. I cry and I cry and I want you so.. I want you like no other but still you ******* and go.. Broken love turns to sorrow that slowly turns to hate.. That slowly turns to love again in the form of another mate.. Then you become but a distance memory.. Your love it hurts me right now put in the future I'll be free.

Ohhhhhhhh.......
I do daclair ,
the enchanting one thayer,
yes you the one
reading me!
My huckleberry
it means the world to me
thank you for taking the time to read
you make me real

and Thankfully
my dear
I do give a damm

Miss C was alluring me
The way she was slumped over
as if she didn't care
And S was always bubbling over
Whipping back and forth
as if she was a live electric wire
But M caught my attention most
Oh ! She'd boast and boast
raise her ******* and voice
And in time she twirled
around my roulette wheel
Homing in upon the center
She started to touch all of my numbers
Even tweeked me with her finger
Then it all became clear
when the ball fell on the number
"Oh damm ! I'm tired ! I think I'll
take you home and slumber"

Freuds lament meant that a pen is a *****
I comment
Hi I am Sebastian
I’m an addict
Addicted to frantic erratic language
In what language am I babbling in - can’t quit - can't resist
Grappling this black pen with smeared hands
Grasp the ******* thing
And ink
Panicking again
Where squids swam
Here stands a weird man
Trapped in a stare match
With miasmic abyss
It’s scary ****
As hearing camera flashes
Dancing bare ***
Unaware as to
where the camera is
Can’t fathom it
An ensnaring act
Grabbing talons
Talented career paths
Disappear fast
With mirror battling
The mere craftsmanship
And mad man’s wit
Embarrassing as still asking, unaware as to what is happening
With clear answers apparent still Years pass years after still ain’t clear after asking this
This is maddening
Reappearing patterns still amass
And thinking different things will happen if in fact I can persist
The same **** happens
That ****’s batshit
What if
This madness catches
That is bad
As lit matches
Catching mattress lint
I fear I did damage to my
Amygdala oblongata as a kid
Again and again
Damm habits
Still
I amass amazing
Paragraphs saturations
A hue is soothing
To translucent humans
Like my time as a youth spent
School bench doodling
Pulled the blue pen through the movements maneuvered cerulean loops drew huge dudes and exuberant protruding ***** for my youths amusement
Nowadays I fetching the meddling
Red pen sent from heaven making corrections, leveling mistakes begging for a reckoning, making more of less, settling scores, enabling communications less deafening, less beckoning, helping to get a sense of my best and when i left my element. what I might write with my white pen is



silence,


enticing I think.