In four days
I go back to the place I was born
I have not been there lately
There are pieces of me
That can never leave there
I was the only one who tried
I do not know if these pieces lived
Lived, died or dissipated
I am not there to observe
I am somewhere beyond
Will this place welcome me
When I return
A familiar road
A friendly face
A sweet summer smell
A sour taste
Perhaps it will not know me at all
This I understand
I know much of holding bitterness
In vacant space
Much of forgetfulness
I do not know much at all
Only that home and I are stubborn strangers

You seek for your spirit to be fed
I seek your satisfaction
We sit here at a stone table
Both hungry

Tell me you are a child
I will not ask for how long
I am tomorrows memory
And you, todays

This body has tricked me
I am easily deceived
To think I am
The brain beneath the crown

Another man wore thorns
I am naked
As a newborn lamb
Only half as pure

Snowflakes sit in your dark hair
Star crystals in an auburn sky
They drip, melt, run, dry
I change much quicker

I am not patient
For even a moment
I am the rainbow
Waiting behind the storm

Are you ready
For something beautiful
You will not see me
Beginning or ending

I will only remember you
Look at me
The way you did
After the flood

We are in the mountains again
We made our sacrifice here
The stone is split
A perfect half, how unholy

Feast your eyes
Your body will still hunger
I will break
Like bread.

The flowers blooming in Antarctica
Will be on our graves
We have loved the earth
The way most men love women
Not much at all
Not willing to listen or change
We **** her
With greed
For our short satisfaction

Tell me
Please
You find something divine
In my familiarity
As I find peace
In yours

I’m just a girl
I love her
I love moving my body
I love music
No one
Can care for me
Like myself

I saw myself in a old photo today
I don’t have that outfit anymore
I remember the piece of tissue
Stuck to my shoe from the toilet water
The last thing I remember tasting
Was black, and mild, and sober
I smoked it on the cold ground
In the alley behind the bar
That seemed the safest place
I took my clothes off when I got home
Bagged them twice
Placed them in the garage bin
I sat under the scalding shower water
Praying it would burn you out of me
Feeling the storm inside
Wanting lightning to come down
Strike you from me
Wishing I had the strength
To scrub you off me
Knowing naked would never be the same
A layer of comfort peeled away

I saw myself in a photo today
The day you made me sick
Remembering laying lifeless
In my bed
Unable to move, sweating
The fever did not cleanse me
You readied me
For trials
I did not know I would endure
You weakened me
For burdens
I was not meant to bear

It was a week before he came
Separate from you
Soon to be the same
In my fevered thoughts
I thought my shining knight
Was here to comfort me
He drew his sword
Stabbing the wound you opened
His armor
Protected only him
Who will pull the sword
From the stone
I am too weak

Picture me now
Wearing this scar
I waited for it to fade
To heal

Grief is my religion
And oh, how earnestly I worship