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  Nov 2014 Shell McCutchen
Evan Hoffman
So I sat here writing a letter,
trying to recall events like the weather,
why red and blue have been fighting forever,
the kid in the newspaper with some new fever,
or that house that set itself on fire.

I wrote off the lines and on the back of the page
about a mother and father who abandoned their children,
a street that went up in a riot,
the telephone poles and the trees,
pipelines and the sewers, and their eventual decay.

I wrote, “Will you marry me,” one thousand times
Then I wrote, “I don't love you anymore,” one thousand and one.

I sat here
and I wrote a book that wasn't long enough
it couldn't explain the things I wanted to say.
An AK-47 sent through the mail.
The tower that fell with no plane.
Flower sales and drive-by’s,
what really happened to JFK?
Why wasn't it **** Cheney?

But I barely wrote half of what I could think.
A declaration of war, like it's a game.

I sat here, alone with my 90 degree angles
every night is a race to the bottom of the glass.
A prisoner to my own mind
which I cannot escape.
  Nov 2014 Shell McCutchen
Evan Hoffman
Here it goes again.
Another poem to describe how useless I am.
How tattered my soul is.
How my brain resembles my hands,
callused, numb, and broken dry skin.
I'm a terrible person.
Self indulgent and full of sin.

And here it goes again.
In the mirror I see nothing.
A big steaming pile of nothing.
Full of wasted dreams, 'what ifs' and 'one days.'
The **** that I write never comes out right.
The **** that I dream is just that:
a big steaming pile of nothing.

Here it goes again.
As if I am something.
But I can't get past how useless I am.
A speck in this cosmic dust cloud.
And here I go again, thinking I am a tornado.
How I will crush your dream home
and leave behind a big steaming pile of debris.

Here I go again,
thinking I am nothing.
When really, I am something.
I am a speck in this cosmic cloud,
without me that tornado wouldn't be.
Touch me,
it doesn't matter where
and it doesnt matter how
I need to know I'm still alive
so someone touch me now
Shake my hand and say hello
or pat me on the back
kiss me on the cheek
that I may feel this sense I lack
slap my face and pull my hair
make me bleed I just don't care
dig your nails into my skin
so I can feed this need within
I've been numb for such a time
that even pain would be sublime
so touch me, touch me now
I don't care where, I don't care how
Follow me on Twitter @athomashawkins
http://twitter.com/athomashawkins
Shell McCutchen May 2014
I  Love You
For that Imperfection

That Imperfection
That draws You to Me......

That Imperfection that doesn't let u see
the flaws in Me ..............

If life was so Perfect
as One would want it to Be
I'd never have You next to Me ...............

I Love You
For that Imperfection
In Your smile
In Your Mind
When gone Wild ..
In Your silly Man Child ways
Cuz with that bad good wouldn't stay...

Your so Damm good at being Bad...

I Must Insist .....
I Can't Resist ......

All Your Imperfect Ways
Seem so Perfect to Me....
i feel like i didnt end this right and may change it later
Shell McCutchen May 2014
A Thousand Dreams
I've Dreamed of You
The Memories I Can't Erase
A thousand Songs
You've Sang To Me
In My Special Place
A Thousand Kisses
As Sweet As Honey
I'll Admit I Can't Resist
A Thousand Chills Go Down My Spine
With Your Touch it fills So Fine
Please Don't Stop
I Want to Say
But Then I Awake
And
There I Lay
A Thousand Dreams
You've Gave To Me
I Wish I'd Never Wake.

— The End —