"blanked" poems
A doctor's sorry for birth complication
A sea of CP cases in physiotherapy centre
Siblings, twins, triplets
All with defects
***
Advice of
***
Therapy,
Botox,
Vision,
Hearing,
Ocupational,
unheard names of unknown place...
!!!
Children I never thought existed
Parents I couldn't believe laughed
Joy in the eyes of kids with severe disability
Waiting for acceptance but yet unknown..
Blanked eyes of a mother
Whose 4 yr old child can die any day
Income reduced expenditure doubled
!!!
***
Yet
***
Optimism,
Joy,
Laughter,
Patience,
Hardwork,
Belief
multiplied many folds...
Coz they are the chosen one
God believed in them
And so God sent to them
The special gifts in
SPECIAL KIDS...
to make them
SPECIAL MOMs...
!!!
Sparkle In Wisdom
Sep 2018
Oct 6, 2018
Oct 6, 2018 at 9:48 AM UTC
Lift it to your lips
& let what falls adrift in the form of ash
dissolve in the wind
as dried bone thrashing,
bashing against dust & grit.
Pull; take a long hit.
Dregs to be kept until last in the bottom
of your broken lungs,
taken as deep as breaths:
to rattle against your teeth.
"O", takes the lewd shape
of your chapped mouth as you break free
from your caged-in chest,
skeletons left sat, to wallow
as ashen bones & yellow teeth.
Hold your knuckled joints
against tenderest flesh of your upper lip
& sniff, as if a try to void
all signs of violent backslides
to clandestine nicotine meetings.
Flick blanked eyes to lit but
dying embers ground between sole & soil,
& morosely swear never
another, not one more; after
this next one, this last one, never.
Jul 12, 2014
Jul 12, 2014 at 5:35 AM UTC
Have you ever been
overwhelmed by such a
feeling of nostalgia, blanked
the color blue and a song, a smell, the
light from the windows from so long ago
when you were young and the clothes you wore
were tight, stretchy and entirely juvenile but
the easiness,
minimalistic heart
what were you worried about then?
what was I worried about then?
Dec 1, 2012
Dec 1, 2012 at 2:54 AM UTC
*creating something in silence (save for keyboard clacks) is a practice in subliminal listening. Thought is like air and you can hear it whispering through the trees of your foresty dendrites.
Misery mixes with ecstasy and love mixes with confused dislike-- for 11 days straight, I've been losing myself in the phosphene glare of love for a girl named Sasha.
She insists she's not a Xanax ****** but by my standards I'm still not sure if I'm convinced altho this seems like an unfair snap-judgement that still hurts her feelings. Perhaps she needs it, and I'm just blanked as the next heretic to go on trial in the pharmacratic inquisition.
For the first time the other night I experimented (incorrectly) with DMT. Sprinkling it over a packed bowl of tea (marijuana), I drew back a breath and felt nothing more than life as a conceited dream with a strange alchemical hangover-fear of psychosis.*
Jan 5, 2014
Jan 5, 2014 at 4:49 PM UTC
If this vast azure emptiness can prove
An aghast endless vacuum measure
Take it for granted, research process sure
It will fuel your thought resources, true.
Mining specks and dots in deep space treasures
Boundless designs shine assigning pleasures
Unfurl within mind in gaseous beams
Overflowing the banks of conscious streams
Filling the utmost sanctum with soft skills
Milling vacuum with colorful quills
Calming the pulses with embracing lulls
Warming all lives with fundamental pulls
Creating a sense of duo, I and you
Love and dislikes and points of view.
Feeling satiety in charity
Finding synergy in activity.
Minting amity in society
keeps you young aged muddling in daring dreams
Deeply engage you cuddling realms supreme.
So what? if this vast thought mine be blanked out
Will the ghost mute vacuum follow suit?
If sense aides guide a slow downward exit
And mind bids the fairy lids to close it
Will the sun bewail, bemoan and eclipse?
Or will the same smile prevail on red-lips?
If souls sunset in seamless sea of mind
Will lights spill out; team up to stay behind?
To form anew a fresh long microwave
To indent a start with a soul suave
A new spectrum to perceive the forces
For the soul that constantly resources
That differently formats transceiver courses
The energy that cannot be destroyed
But that which can be candidly portrayed
On a vast emptiness fluidly stolid
On a continuum vividly solid
On a clean canvas without dimensions
In a brave new world that cannot mention
A name which is beyond comprehension
A frame that doesn't fall on known convention.
Jan 16, 2019
Jan 16, 2019 at 2:30 PM UTC
Solemn hour
Yonder year,
Take the latter second,
A car in the distance of the road,
Fertilized with the scent of life
A light reflecting him, and a crow
Perched atop his shoulder.
He ventured toward the chateau,
Cars passing him blanked by countless efforts
Tripped inside, a maid approaches the door
She appears to be one-hundred,
The crow fell off the shoulder and dust remained
Where the maid cleaned up and left.
May 8, 2011
May 8, 2011 at 3:52 PM UTC
Coral evening sky casting a warm glow, in this lightening claimed dusky sky
Your shy smile bursting into a fit of giggles as I tickle you, my fingertips pressed to your belly, lingering
Starry eyes mirroring this evident desire,
A melancholy lullaby crackling into a fire laced ballad
My lips meet yours, and here we are lost in this fragile moment, like a flitting darting bird
Savoring it, tongues dancing across the shorelines of my molars, like this is the first and the last time
You pull the curtain, unbuttoning, yanking the shirt off my body; solace is your only quest
Your lips licking my earlobe, whispering verses of ******* addicted musicians, but you prefer ecstasy
Your fingers tracing the raven tattooed on the nape of neck, trailing down needy kisses along my spine
Your trying to blur it all out, I’m trying to save you darling, from yourself,
I need this too more than you know, but I love you more
Disasters have a tendency to reside in your ribs for a longtime, striking often-
Causing violent tremors
Leading to noxious EARTHQUAKES.
Your cat stopped breathing 6 months ago, she had punctured her lungs
I remember you screaming, trashing all the memories so that it stops hurting,you repressed it all.
You loved that furry little brat more than you hate fate.
Your grandfather expired last month, his led zeppelin, bon jovi records drown in loneliness now
Wrinkly smiles told stories of cosmos, aliens, he was a crazy man. The best nonetheless.
Chemotherapy drained out all the money and smiles, leaving your brittle heart suffering from paroxysm.
When he died, you kept shouting for hours straight, they had to sedate you. You blanked out. I know you are sinking in the abyss of hopelessness and you’re trying to escape, escape this AMNESIA,
that is running after you.
But love, let me in, I know you’re afraid, but I vow, I’ll prove to be sempiternal.
And I swear I’ll be there cupping these rare innocent moments and preserving, holding you close, kissing you even when the rainfall doesn’t seem to stop.
May 14, 2013
May 14, 2013 at 1:33 PM UTC
Cracking my thumb with headphones on, I can just picture the eye of diagonal lady flitting in my direction curiously and gone, that's all. Kid with Red-Wing hat and Beats by Dr. Dre sits across from me *** there's nowhere left to sit, poor kid. Doesn't know me. Manifests that social anxiety for age-the-sames-or-similars. He's texting, avoids eye contact, not that I'm looking, nope nu uh not that I'm looking. Lady with flashing visi-light walks on bus as half-hedge is lit half-hedge is dark silhouette, bus lights. It's dark and rainy. Windows pretty fogged and bogged in dirt and smog and oh my God I feel the song it's verses on it's verses long it's words so vertical!
Redwing looks a little nerved, blanked, searching for saliva salvation in his Beats by Dr. Dre
texts again, I looked uh huh I looked I did this time I looked.
Bus bumps corner cruuuisin', aren't we a speedy bunch?
Cracked my thumb again old man diagonal looks I'm sorry. I'm sorry too. Girl with blonde streaks could be years old could be decades, probably a decade .7, getting off bus behind former diagonal lady, she'll forget my thumb you'll see. Miss her. No sir. Redwing sees me see him turns to look to stop request, uh he didn't look he didn't he's gone, sitting in seat ahead now, Redwing hat cooped in Beats by Dr. Dre, red Van shoes poking out till friend apparitions seat next to him, hi! Redwing takes off Redwing hat and chats apparition, turns hat back wards, forwards, nerved I bet, nerved I can tell don't pretend oh you're fine!
Stops coming so bye I'll talk to you later
special thanks to my parents for making all this possible.
Jan 8, 2013
Jan 8, 2013 at 9:13 PM UTC
Hey guys. Today was a busy day, but I couldn't help thinking about her and blanked out a few times. What I learned today was it is pointless to think about the past. Yeah, we can learn from it. But overthinking won't make you strong. It'll ruin you inside out. Just have fun, and enjoy life as it is. It may not be enough, but be grateful for what we have . <3
Feb 16, 2016
Feb 16, 2016 at 3:53 PM UTC
Fire lit laughter seeps between the air.
The light shines through the rustling leaves.
Wonder-filled eyes escaped to the sky.
That's when we decided to travel beyond the Trees.
Rooftop divinity.
Luna smiled at my soul.
My body fell victim to the beauty around my being.
I froze, with my head in the clouds.
My childlike grin was unstoppable.
My Chakras bloomed like lotus petals.
I could feel my breathe fall short in astonishment.
In awe, at this moment, I felt.
My spirit giggled.
I laughed in amazement.
For this was truth!
The Light from our sun transpired out from Luna herself.
In the passing of the clouds a rainbow halo extended out to me.
The stars hung like lanterns, trying to lead me home.
The tree tops lit up and the wind rocked them to sleep.
Everything was apart of me.
I was everything.
The Universe held me, we were one.
I cried in the moonlight.
I felt Love for the first time.
Life was tangible.
The beauty was so immense it overcame me entirely.
My mind blanked as I breathed in the moment.
Internally I connected externally.
I wept and laughed until they ran empty.
I thanked the heavens for showing me truth.
I thanked Luna for being my guide.
...I thanked the stars from which I came.
I am -full.
Jul 29, 2013
Jul 29, 2013 at 10:35 PM UTC
What does a poet do
When words fail them?
When the vernacular
They so heavily relied on
To convey every navy blue,
Indigo, violet hue of the midnight sky,
Dies on the tip of their tongue?
When the morphemes
That gave life to the phantoms
And pantomimes in their heart
Come out as Neanderthalic grunts?
What does a poet do?
When the discourse once so comfortable
Becomes stilted, halting, and forced
Because their brain has blanked
On their particular patois?
When not even the thesaurus or lexicon
Or revered Oxford English Dictionary
Can provide the adequate locution
So as to appease the poet's need
To be
Understood,
Acknowledged,
Fathomed,
Decoded,
Interpreted,
Heard.
Because that's all we want.
And that's the impossible
When we have writer's block.
Jun 26, 2014
Jun 26, 2014 at 10:42 AM UTC
Blanked out parts of my old memory,
Meted out an alienating treatment,
Short-term loss of my memory,
Still undergoing treatment,
Collectively boycotting my soul,
They do their duty of progressing,
Irked they are by my apparent ease.
They follow their basic instinct.
I don't mind it for what my life is.
"A Different Kind Of Hell."
I was supposed to have died but I survived and am made to live here.
May 11, 2016
May 11, 2016 at 7:14 AM UTC
Happy as I appear to be,
I wish someone could just read through me.
And get to know the real me.
No one really knows what’s hurting me.
I wish they could see through me.
I know a heart break was the first thing that popped in your mind,
a feeling so unkind.
Sadly, it’s not,
but a feeling that hurts more than you thought.
I m tired of this feeling,
with no signs of healing.
I’m tired of waking up every day,
to bear the same pain,
with no one to explain.
All this has caused darkness which blanked my mind,
leaving me undefined.
But what can I do?
When I can’t break through?
I feel more than broken.
I wish I was outspoken.
I am afraid I’m no longer the girl I used to be.
All the happiness is quickly leaving me.
This feeling is killing me slowly,
and tears can’t stop falling.
Until when will I give a pretentious smile?
If only people could just realize the sorrows in my life.
I wish I could just speak out the truth.
Unluckily it will do more harm than good.
MOZA MAHMOUD
May 24, 2013
May 24, 2013 at 10:57 AM UTC
I feel like I’m choking on words
Like the thoughts in my head are there, but I can’t let them out
I can’t let them escape
So I grasp onto the little hope that I have left
But I’m growing old and slowly, but surly letting my emotions unfold
They just cave in
I cave in
I feel like I’m drowning
******* take me push me under until I can’t breathe
Swallowing the water making me a little less empty
Hold me down soon I’ll perish I’m fading out
You all wanted honesty?
Honestly
I’m drowning completely now
I don’t know what to say most of the time
I hold back until I relapse and feel numb inside
There’s so much on my mind, but people don’t want to hear it most of the time
Often they say they care, but truly aren’t there when I’m dying on the inside
All you see or understand is what’s on the outside
You’re all only there when in need or despair
That’s why I write because at least the sheets hear me when I’m tearing my eyes out over the pages
Ink bleeds, but better that than me
It would be nice for someone to understand me and appreciate what I have to offer and mean to be
Feeling lost and every so lonely
But lately I haven’t even seen the mirrored self image of myself clearly
I’m lost
I’m blanked out
All the colors of life turning into dark storm clouds
Can you see now as rain trickles down
I need you all now before time runs out
I’m getting tired out my eyes mostly closed
I can’t escape the words in my head that clutter about
Screaming
As my pen loses ink
Am I a poet now?
Apr 23, 2018
Apr 23, 2018 at 5:35 PM UTC
maybe, i have reached the limit
the very edge of my soul
i was standing there
barely holding on
you offered no hand
blanked stare at your scarred arm
the very pieces of my impaired heart
i seated myself there
the road is getting longer-further
i could feel it you rush yourself into the dark
blanked stare at your spined-back
i seated myself there, still
you turned back
tears falls down the cheeks
"come back home", said shriveled-lips of mine
May 23, 2017
May 23, 2017 at 4:22 AM UTC
I feel like writing a poem,
Gosh what to write about?
Well it snowed this morning,
Such a beautiful day out,
Strange,
This might just be a draft,
Or maybe i will let you read,
I do not know,
I just feel this need,
I am just writing a simple poem,
With lines that just come to mind,
Nothing can stop me now,
What's done is done,
Strange how rhymes and lines,
Can just come to the mind,
It all happens so fast,
Like a teen getting pregnant,
Or a bird getting shot,
Those are rough examples,
But what are you going to do?
I'm not gonna stop,
I will keep writing until,
I no longer wanna write this poem,
So it may be long,
Or short,
Only my mind can tell,
I am simply just writing,
I don't know how much of this is serious,
I have boredom,
It struck within me,
This is quite a normal thing to do,
I guess now,
I am through,
My mind has simply blanked,
Like the ground outside,
Covered with snow.
Dec 7, 2012
Dec 7, 2012 at 12:30 AM UTC
The World Is Dead
I awoke to an eerie silence-
The sun had not come up,
No birds littered my trees.
Nothing new was born this day.
Unsettled, I opened my door
Too afraid to look at anything-
I blanked all of it out,
Except the floor.
Weeds furled tightly
Around my already sinking ankles.
Ironically, giving me the strength to stand
And face the pain I chose to bear.
There was no point
In taking a single step,
If the world had halted
Where could I possibly go?
Instead, I retreat
But am forced to stand tall.
Reconcile my differences
With God I am at war.
I am not safe,
But I can hide.
Pretend
Nothing ever happened at all.
Perhaps even survive
In a world
That has no meaning
Anymore.
Or take a walk,
And admire the death
Of a thousand wilting trees
All the time smiling contentedly.
It was me that destroyed the world.
I just let go
Followed my storms
Letting the hurricane ensue.
I shall not blame him, or you.
Just pretend I am happy-
Do something different
Make everything new
Forget the past
Deny the future
Hope and pray
There will be another day.
All I ask
Is that I am not obliged to stay.
(Gerry Aldridge © 2017)
Feb 12, 2017
Feb 12, 2017 at 12:38 PM UTC
You say you hate me!
We'll **** I hate you to!
You yell **** you"!
I yell "get the **** out my way"
You say "I'm sorry"
I walk away
You pull me
I feel the hate
I try to run away
I blanked out
I wake up
Lying in a pool of blood
I wake up feeling defeated
I wake up and leave why you sleep
And I leave forever
Broken away broken hearted broken forever
Jul 26, 2014
Jul 26, 2014 at 4:26 PM UTC
So software
I touched you...
inserting
disc in willing slot
you lit up
flashing with delight
setting the screen
to this
our moments indescretion
you asked so many questions
as my nimble fingers
pressed
against your
aching button...
yes yes yes
you screamed and blanked out
Your system
screamed for my input...
as you ran
scanning my wants and needs
virus free.
I command you
to drive me
home.
Jun 21, 2012
Jun 21, 2012 at 7:16 AM UTC
Judith sat on her bed
the window showed
night sky
and moon
and stars
she'd been
carol singing
with the choir
walking the route
outlined
singing at houses
to people
she and Benedict
amongst others
the parson
had the torch
others battery lamps
to read from sheets
she had walked
with Benedict
close by
near to his elbow
breathed in
his air
not cold
his hands
holding the sheet
if I lean closer
I can rub mine
against his
she did
skin on skin
she lifted her eyes
from the sheet
with words of carols
studied his face
lit up by
lamp light
hazel eyes
lips open
now closed
kiss
O if
maybe he will
if
she leaned in
he looked up
from the sheet
looked at the others
nearby rustling sheets
moving lamps
shadowed
he moved in
please kiss
she sensed him near
lips brushed
closer please
touch me
fill me
empty me
he moved in
pressed his lips
to hers
all else blanked
moon
stars
sky
others
rustling sheets
light gone
all else
but the kiss
the lips
undone
opened up
filled
she sensed
knife-like wounds
in her being
in her heart
in her ***
her heart somersaulted
her lips burned
to bright red
and branded his
more more
press
into me
seal our lips
as one
his free hand
encircled her
hers
encircled him
her bed creaked
she moved
further back
their lips
had parted
carols began
others sang
he and she
rustled sheets
lips aflame
she felt older
than her 13 years
at that moment
in time
he seemed ancient
in his 14 years aged
just love
lips
kiss
no crime.
Jan 1, 2014
Jan 1, 2014 at 11:30 PM UTC
I've lost the burning in my fingers,
The spark within my soul,
The light in my eyes that lingers,
When a fire ravishes me whole.
My words have been driven away,
Replaced by derivatives and sines,
My erratic thinking and impulsive way,
Ridiculed by logical lines.
Slowly, my mind has been eroded,
Pounded, molded and reformed,
Until my eyes are totally blanked,
And my essence is forever lost.
For now my pen no longer moves,
In hurried chicken scratch,
But rather, in uniformed loops,
Making a perfect black stitch.
Jul 20, 2015
Jul 20, 2015 at 8:33 PM UTC
You killed us.
You killed us before we even came to be.
You ended the story before it was written, blanked the pages, redacted the statements;
You terminated the memories,
The possible hostilities
The happiness, the misery
Everything
You killed it.
You broke the future before it came to pass,
Destroyed everything we might've had
You chose a different path, and that's fine
But you'll never know what you left behind.
Jan 31, 2013
Jan 31, 2013 at 8:26 AM UTC
he was going to teach me how
to pick a lock and hot wire a car
but he went back to prison
I swear, he had a good heart
he was just livin’ the life he knew
adopted in infancy
an idyllic ranch life
going out barefoot and shirtless in the snow
to feed the horses
still, divorce happens
his mother got custody
but blanked out in permissiveness
allowing him whatever
she wanted to play good cop
as divorced parents sometimes do
he would disappear for a week
communing in the canyons; survival skills
drinking water by the rocks
checking jack rabbits for spots
“everything is seasonal” he would tell me
when his mother remarried a drunkard
my friend would don dark clothing and a ski mask
to rob his drunken step dad every payday
to put food on the table
you see, he had a good heart
just livin’ the life he knew
leading a life of drugs
and not just using
he could drink his stuff but also liked Perrier
a life of crime
store front window smash and grabs
in stolen cars
getting involved with big time dealers
still, I swear he had a good heart
just livin’ the life he knew
once asked him why
he never offered me drugs
“Why would I?” he replied
you see, a friend would never do that
he would jump up and say, “No!”
if I pretended to reach for a cigarette
--a regular cigarette
he knew well their addictive nature
knew his lungs were tweeked
and didn’t want me to ruin my voice
I had a beautiful voice
he had a good heart
just livin’ the life he knew
sent to the fire camps up north
in his element in the woods
at peace with himself out in nature
knowledgeable, skillful, personable
upon release they told him
"stay clean till November"
he would have a job waiting for him
he had a good heart
but went back to the life he knew
the last time in prison
he “stuck” someone
it scared him because this time
he didn’t feel anything
didn’t ask him what he meant
we never talked about it again
still, I swear he had a good heart
just livin’ the life he knew
he was in the hospital
last time we talked
he knew he was dying
his sister told me he was scared
it’s been a long time
but I think he was in his twenties
a life of hard times
a death in regret
surely God knew
he had a good heart
he was just livin’ the life he knew
Aug 27, 2015
Aug 27, 2015 at 1:57 AM UTC
On the clear days when I’ve got water…
On the clear days, when I’ve got water through my hands
and I’ve got water in me that’s not just around me
in a blanked blue of roiling waves and wings…
When I’ve got that water in me
I remember how the shore really was.
I remember when I first touched the still sand
and laid my feet down on your warm to rest.
Just before the orange sets in above, I sit down
along the edge of the raft and look about.
Still that open water.
Sky seeping under golden red from that living garden.
Years of memories, years through many eyes
passing through me.
Your face has dissipated
to a forgotten air I breathe every moment. And still
I breathe
towards a bare horizon.
Mar 27, 2012
Mar 27, 2012 at 5:40 PM UTC