Today, I feel unwanted
Unworthy, ashamed of myself
I feel useless and stupid
But I tell you
This feeling won't drag me down
'Cause I won't give up
On fighting my life's storm.

I kissed her passionately,
She didn't respond to my kisses.
I hugged her tightly,
She just let me be.
I whispered I love you,
She didn't answer me.
I slowly stroke her hair,
But still her eyes are closed.
I let her lie in my bed,
And I lie down beside her.
I hug her and whispers sweet dreams,
Still her eyes are close.
I felt her cold pale body
And kissed her good night.

5:44 pm
1.31.19

Alam mo bang minsan na kitang naging paksa?
Ikaw ang laman ng tula kong may pagmamahal,
Hinugot ko sa puso ko ang mga kataga
Dahil para sa akin ikaw ay lubhang mahalaga.
Maraming salamat sa iyong pag-ibig
Para sa akin ikaw ang tala sa kalangitan
Hindi man kita abot sa aking mga kamay
Sa puso ko at isipan ay naririto ka lang.

Mary had a little lamb
Its teeth was sharp as knife;
It stormed to her room one night
And **** her ******* blood.

I'll burn my feelings,
I'll burn it all—
And with all,
My love for you

Captain, Captain!
The ship is sailing.
Captain, Captain!
Let’s sail together.
Let’s explore the high seas
And adore the waves.
Let’s follow the warm current
To the direction of happiness.
Captain, Captain!
Let the stars be our compass
To the love that long last.

1.20.19

Naalala mo pa ba
Noong tayo pa ay magkasama
Noong tayo pa ay maligaya
Maalala mo kaya
Ang ating pinagsamahan
Na punong puno ng pagmamahalan
Na ating pinag saluhan.

Sabi mo magpakailanman
Ako'y Hindi iiwan
Sabi mo walang hanggan
Bakit ngayon ako'y nasa kawalan
Sabi mo Hindi susuko
Pero bakit heto tayo sa dulo
Nasan ang iyong pangako.

Pangako na ipaglaban mo
Yun pala'y hindi totoo
Ako'y umasa sayo
Ngunit bakit ganto
Ako'y iniwan mo
Ako ba'y nag kulang sayo?
Ako ba'y Hindi mo talaga gusto
Kaya pinili mo na lng lumayo.

Oras-oras 24 oras
Mga luha sa aking mata ay aking punas-punas
Mga luhang pumapatak
Mga luhang tumatagaktak
Habang ako'y nasa sulok
At doon umiiyak
Dahil ang puso ko'y wasak na wasak
Masahol pa sa bukong biniyak.

Sana kinabukasan pag dilat ng aking mga mata
Maramdaman ko na
Ang umagang kay ganda
Yung tipong wala ng sakit na nadarama
Yung tipong sasabihin Kong limot na kita
Yung tipong pag nag kita tayong dalawa
Sasabihin ko sayong limot na kita.

I'm lonely, I looked up.
I know you're seeing the same stars
I know you're staring the same sky
I know we're sharing the same breeze
Yet we're not sharing the same feelings.

Terrified eyes looked into mine
Bloods dripping through my knife,
I shook my head and back out,
It was over,
I can never recover,
Few minutes you close your eyes,
You never breathe nor you cried.

Believe me when I say this,
I am not bad,
I am not bad,
Just confused all my life,
I am afraid,
Yes I am!
Please don't be frightened,
I am not.
I am not mad at anyone,
Can't you see I am just hurt?

Is it my fault to drag you in a hole?
I heard your screams,
I saw your hand waving,
Suddenly you came unannounced,
Saying I am a monster,
No I'm not!
I am not bad!
I am just confused all my life,
I've been living in a lie,
I've been locked in a pitch black box,
Is it my fault?
No it's not.

Cold blood stained my hands,
My sniffs turn into loud sobs,
I throw myself to the ground,
I scream in the top of my lungs,
Your lifeless body beside me,
Seems whispering in my ears;
Blaming me for the sin I didn't do
I never killed you.

Once upon a time
There was a perfect relationship
That doesn't exist.
The end...

Our story isn't like
Those fairytales,
It's not all about
Happily ever after,
We just live happily
But not ever after.

Our story isn't like
Those fairytales,
It's not all about
Happy ending,
We just live happy
But it never ends there.

Ako ngayon ay nalugmok
Sa sulok nagmumokmok,
Malalim na mga sugat
Sa kahapo’y idinulot.

Ako ngayon ay lumuha
Ngunit hindi ako kawawa,
Tumulo lamang ang luha
Babangon rin ng kusa.

Ako man ay nadapa
Iginapos sa tanikala,
Araw man ay mawala
Sisikat pa rin sa umaga.

Ako ngayon ay gagapang
Papalayo sa pampang,
Lilisanin ang hinanakit
Sa dibdib na kay sakit.

Ako ay magpapaalam na
Sa mga sugat na alibugha,
Magpapatuloy na ako
Kakayanin ko ang mga ito.

I decorated a drawing in my room,
Her cheeks are white,
Her eyes are dark brown,
Her lips are in the color of ruby.

Her gaze is really something,
Her nose is like bleeding,
Her dress are worn out,
I sometimes look and doubt.

I dream last night,
She screams so loud,
She cries for help,
No one was there.

No hands lift her up,
She's in so much pain,
She begged once again,
Every ear are now deaf.

I woke up wondering,
I looked closely to her,
She seems okay,
Who knows what's lying there?

The next morning,
I don't know where my drawing is,
Not a single trace of her,
Was I lost her?

Physically close—
Hand to hand,
Eye to eye,
Nose to nose—
Bad breath to bad breath.

I know wind is still here
He caressed my cheeks
And wipes away
My tears.

I have a wish
That no one tell,
'Till I spoke
So you could hear.

Look into my eyes
And you could see,
How my burdens
Gets heavy everyday.

I'm weary,
I fell, I cried, I crawl
And I yell...
How disgusting!

My backbone cracked!
My head is now bowed,
My heart bleeds
A thousand blood.

I shout from the dark,
They push me back,
They go for rush
And put me on a trash.

I grew up in prison,
Jail is my home.
All eyes are in me
Every mistakes they'll see.

My only wish
Is to be free
That have a life
Like them.

One little rope
Little knife keeps on shinning,
Four sharp blades
And a blood on the carpet,
Seven little drops
Of your tears are falling
Ten little slits on the pulse.

Once upon a time,
She fell for him
And hasn't gotten up since.
The end.

She's a burning fire,
Sometimes a flowing water;
She's a dancing flame,
Sometimes a blue sea—
She's dangerous,
She can toased you to death,
She can bring you to the deeps of sea;
She's a goddess,
The goddess of fire and water.

I've wrote you a music—
A music comes from gold,
A music of pain,
A music of sadness;
When we part ways
I wrote a song—
A song of heartbreak,
A song of the lost;
When we part ways—
I break down,
I'm in pain,
I am broke,
Dunno know how to fix me.

You are like the sunset,
You always leave;
Comes back in the sunrise,
But now I'm setting you free.

Do you really fear the darkness?
The roar of the storm?
The slash of lighting?
The clash of thunders?
Go face them, Darling,
Go fight them!
Be strong, Darling,
Be brave again!
Go hungry and cold like a polar bear,
Go fish like a stork.
Your feet and palm will thicken,
Your beauty will fade,
You’ll grown haggard and weary
But I’ll assure you,
You’ll walk like a man!

10:38 PM
FEBRUARY 2019

Sauna bata pako
Wa pa koy kahibalo,
Bisag lamok di patugpahan
Kay lagi pinangga man.

Nagdako kong hapsay
Malipayon kanunay
Kay aduna may
Naghigugmang tinud-anay.

Nagsubay mis saktong dalan
Kay kami saktong gitun-an,
Bisag si Mama dako nag baba
Kay kami badlungon man.

O pobre tood mi
Wa ko man na mahayi,
Dos ray balon nga ni human
Ko's hayskul ug elementary.

Pero bisan pa niana
Saludo ko nimo Pa,
Magtarong kog skwela
Para malipay **** mama.

Butang-butangan man ko
Di lagi ko paapekto
Magpakahilom sa ko
Kay wala pa ko sa pwesto.

Kay imo kong gipa skwela
Nipalayo ka sa amoa,
Naningpalad sa laing dapit
Sa desyerto na sangit.

Bisag layo ka kanamo
Murag duol ra ka kaayo,
Mura kag bituon
Nga gustong abuton.

Pa, kay layo man ka
Wa koy laing magasa
Basaha lang unya ni,
Happy father's day!

The greatest teacher in my life
That you’ve never known,
Teaches me to read and write first,
Good moral and lessons
To step up and light
My future to success.
She teach me to walk
In a right direction,
Her love is forever and eternal
May I present to you,
My beloved Mama,
My super woman and my hero
Who teaches me
Half of everything.

I am attached with sunset,
I am attracted with the bay,
For the blood of wanderer is on me
And my soul is in the sea.

There is beauty laid there,
With a pebbles and sands so precious,
My heart has gone aboard its view
For the island of beauty and blues.

I must sail again tomorrow!
With the pretty sunset I must be,
Sail down on the waves of travels
In the wonder of the sea.

2.2.19

When I look at the sky
I silently smile.
When I was a child
I thought its color is white.
I mock at myself
Thinking the clouds is the sky.

10:32 pm
2.6.19

Look at the moon,
The stars are bright,
The currents warm,
The wind is fresh and free!
We’re out to sail tonight
And fight the big waves.
We’re to sail tonight
Across the silver sea!
The world is full of mystery,
The world is growing older,
So let’s sail and wander
And together let’s all discover,
Let’s break the sails again, Darling!
We’re out to seek the mysteries
To the realm of the world
Beyond the secret of the sea.

11:11 PM
1.22.19

This is my place
And here I stay
To steal a glance of the sun.

This is my place
And here comes i
Before the night switch the sky.

This is my place
This is the place
I meet the dark sky face to face.

1.22.19

Ngayon ikaw ay masaya
Dahil sa muli **** naipunyagi
ang madalas mo ng ginagawa.
Kailangan ko pa bang i-klaro
para sa'yo? Sige, sige para 'di ka
na malito.

Nais **** ika'y matuto, ngunit tamad ka.
Kaya naman ang mga pagkukulang mo'y sa **** mo
ipinasa.
Ngayo'y ikaw ang nagmumukhang malaking tanga.

Maari naman sigurong gawin mo 'yong bagay na
makakapagsalba sa'yo.
Pero utak-ipis ka kaya ikaw ay nagpabibo.

Akala mo sa ginawa **** yan
mababago mo ang ihip ng hangin at ika'y magiging pasado?
Sorry ka nalang dahil magigipit ka pa lalo.

Ang ating mga ****'y hindi perpekto.
Kagaya **** may kahinaan na likas na sa tao.
Kung may pagkukulang man siya dapat mo itong punan,
Dahil sa paaralan, istudyante at ****'y nagtutulungan.

Ngunit 'di nga maipagkakailang 'di mo 'yon alam.
Tiwalang tiwala ka sa sarili **** kakayahan.

Sana nga magtagumpay ka,
Mag-ingat ka, halatadong wala ka ng natitirang baraha.
Dahil ang huling alas na babagsak sa harap ng mukha mo'y nasa kamay na ng KARMA.

“Beautiful fairies
In the fantastical word,
Girls ask if you’re true
They wish they can see you once
Dancing, singing and flying.”

The colors from the burning stars
Filtered down in the universe,
Mixing in the milky way,
Pampering the human eye with its beauty.

Bakit pa kaya ako na buhay?
Bakit pa ako nanatili dito sa mundo?
Tingin ng iba sa akin ay walang halaga,
Siya namang katotohanan...
Ang totoo ay wala naman talaga akong kwenta.
Ipinagtataka ko,
Bakit binigyan pa ako ng pangalawang buhay?
Para saan ito?
Minsan naisip ko, na sana dati natuluyan na lang ako.
Ano pa bang silbi ko?
Ang bigyan ng pasanin ang mga magulang ko?
Ang bigyan ng cancer ang lipunang ito?
Ang bigyan ko ng karagdagang problema ang mundo?
Minsan napapatanong ako,
Ano pang silbi ng pangalawang buhay ko
Kung hindi naman ako masaya?
Bakit hindi nalang ako hinayaang mahimlay na lamang?
Paulit-ulit na akong nasaktan at umiyak,
Hindi pa ba sapat para pagbayaran ko lahat?
Paulit-ulit na pinaramdam sa akin na wala akong kwentang nilalang,
Hindi pa ba iyon sapat para magdusa ako ng tuluyan?
Paulit-ulit akong napahiya at siniraan,
Hindi pa ba iyon sapat para magpahinga na?
Kailangan ko pa bang pagdaanan ang ganito kasakit na bagay?
Paulit-ulit nalang ba?
Wala na bang bago?
Hindi na ba magbabago ang kapalaran ko?
Ganito na ba talaga?
Pagod na ako
Pagod na pagod na ako sa totoo lang.
Ano bang nagawa ko sa mundo para magdusa ng ganito?
Nung mawala ako ng ilang minuto grabe raw ang iyak nila,
Nung bumalik ako, abot-langit ang saya nila...
Paano ako?
Natatanong niyo ba kung masaya rin ako?
Minsan nasasabi ko-
Wala nang magmamahal sa akin,
Wala nang tatanggap sa akin maliban sa pamilya ko.
Wala naman talagang makakaintindi sa akin kundi sila...
Kaya hindi na ako magtataka kung pati kayo ay mawawala.
Nasanay na ako,
Ano pa bang bago?
Sige, magsilisan na kayo.
Gusto niyo ako pa ang maghahatid sa inyo?
Ikagagalak ko.