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6.6k · Apr 2015
I Can't Let You Go...
untitled Apr 2015
Remembrances of you remain
In the farthest reaches of my mind.
But I do not know why I cannot refrain,
The reason that you stay on my mind, I cannot find.

You're even in my subconscious...
At night, you cloud all of my dreams.
And I still find myself singing your songs while I'm conscious,
I am still not over you, it seems.

Somehow all I can hear is your voice,
When I hear a song you like on the radio.
You've taken up a greater part of my life than anyone has, without a choice,
An unbalanced ratio.

I will always love you,
Infinitely until I find one that can replace...
But you are you, and it still stands true,
That in a crowded room, I see no other face.

I hope you, without condition, love me,
As I have hurt you as well.
I hate to see you hurt, especially by the cause of me...
As I have always wished you well.
4.0k · May 2015
"Society"
untitled May 2015
An everyday masquerade
Where each person dons
A different façade,
Yet are all the same
Because it's all
A feigned version
Of the real,
True being inside.

A sea of faces,
Pressuring you,
To be alike;
You have to be
One of a kind,
Yet those who are
Are outcasted in
Everyday life.

So all wear the
Same mask,
Masking the flaws,
The rawness of it all;
Because of the
Social biases.
A place where
No one can be their
Honest self is
"Society".

A society,
Which in definition
Is a community
Of peoples,
Is no longer so.
There are only
One type of person,
Which all souls
Take host in.
2.8k · Aug 2018
musings.
untitled Aug 2018
those that see beauty in everything feel the most discontent.
there are extreme emotions that one who is creative must process--
an unforced authenticity and tenacity to stay focused on a subject,
and to devote the same amount of attention to each entity, that you lose a sense of self and a sense of the world around you.

we use stress as a way of pushing us forward,
and only in moments of extreme stress does an amazing happening occur.
and for this, we are deemed odd, as a normal person thrives where they are most comfortable.

the originality that visionaries possess is exhausting, yet we admire it.
we allow for many things to flow in our minds without halt,
all notions and ideas taking up precedence, and this may be our greatest fault.

day break to sunset, my mind is racing non-stop, constantly,
to the point that sleep does nothing to quell the overthinking brain,
as my lucid dreams act as a force to keep me awake at night.
my mind is in a perpetual state of fantasy, sometimes during everyday life in bouts of daydreams,
imaging new situations and being unable to describe it all.

when I try to silence the thoughts that persistently flux through my mind,
my talents feel wasted during this time of artistic deprivation,
and only do I feel truly sound when I create new artworks for a few to discern.

sometimes I feel as though my mind feeds off on my depressive states,
as it takes the deepest of emotions to generate proufound art.
while I wish to be happy, I have a need to be in a bit of a sustained disarray.
something I wrote in December
(after my finals)
2.0k · May 2017
She Survives Without Living
untitled May 2017
her foot never fully touched the ground,
remaining half afloat in the air--
stuck in the clouded mist of her anxious mind,
she could not grasp the full weight of reality

her dance too tentative to be considered one of grace,
she treaded carefully with each step, although,
she knew this all with a great familiarity--

a constant state of limbo and disarray,
out of touch with sight and mind,
thoughtless rumination
all gather to combine into this displacement

she leaps with hope and faith,
but unable to press her foot along the earth
she glides over the dust and ruin,
seeking to avoid rather than settle-- she survives without living
anxiety living avoiding trouble past
1.6k · Aug 2015
A Damaged Beauty
untitled Aug 2015
Trampled, yanked from their roots, strewn across the dirt;
A single, beautiful rose lay, treated as lowly as the soil beneath,
Loses sight of its true worth and perfection,
Amongst the several other damaged "objects".

Used and abused in manners undeserved, yet she still perseveres.

Replanted, freshened, and dusted off, she stands *****.
Portraying beauty and elegance, others do not see the damage;
Yet it is visible to me, as clear as day are the harsh conditions endured.

And so is her strength, to bear another day.
And so is her worth, deserving of more than the world can offer,
Or that I can muster; I'll try my hardest to give her everything.
1.4k · Dec 2014
Unrequited Love
untitled Dec 2014
Slowly made her way into my heart,
But so fast to leave me stranded.
Allowing myself to care whole-heartedly,
Only to be heartbroken by the person
Who once made me feel complete.

Her smiles and hugs used to fill me
With happiness, but now only
Bring a great source of pain.
How can she be so happy, while
Removing the smile off my face?

Letters of love written to me,
Each word now meaningless sentiment;
Every word written was a lie.
Said that she loved me too much to hurt,
Now she's knife deep into my heart.

Promises of an everlasting love
Are all broken. Her love for me is lost.
Or maybe I am too foolish, perhaps,
She never loved me at all...
Such a misery to have an unrequited love.
1.2k · Jan 2015
Imprisoned
untitled Jan 2015
"Free me from this prison",
I plead for mercy.
Yet, I am the guard
Who holds the keys.

Shackled inside my own head,
Desiring to be freed
From these thoughts
That stay awake at night.

Free me from my past sins,
My insecurities,
My pain and suffering;
Free me because I can bear no more.
1.1k · May 2015
With or Without You
untitled May 2015
Vulnerable.
The state I remain in when I am with you.

Broken.
Without you, my heart is scattered in pieces.

Whole.
You fill my heart with love.

Love.
I love you, more than you possibly know, *
without condition.
Just some ****** lines written at midnight.
867 · Nov 2016
Untitled
untitled Nov 2016
You may silence your voice
But never quiet the mind,
That often ponders and queries
What is surrounding--
Let your words flow through writing,
Extrapolating thoughts
And developing them into
Coherent traces of ideas,
That ultimately envelope your precise
Notions and overriding sentiments.
837 · Nov 2016
Untitled
untitled Nov 2016
may all your wishes come true tonight,
and the nightmares of the past days vanish
at the first break of dawn when light emerges,
and there is a division between the darkness
beckoning for the rays of light to shine
along the expanse of the farthest reaches of Earth;
let it be glowing and filled with the countless love I have for you,
as the limitless miles of land are brightened;
the stars will twinkle in the night,
as your beauty is still apparent even amongst
the distress and exhaustion that clouds your pretty eyes;
may you smile and dazzle far greater than
the sun is capable of during its peak high at noon,
and may you radiate happiness despite the gloom that has consumed you
815 · Aug 2014
Vulnerable
untitled Aug 2014
Open, prone to infection;
The infection which is others' deceit
Seeping into your very soul...
Breaking apart what was once whole.

Shattered and unable to mended,
Fences built around the destruction.
A mirage of strength; seemingly
Impermeable to any threatening weapon.

A hard shell created that can
Only ever be peeled away through
The acts of unadulterated love.
Will anyone repair your shattered heart?

You convince yourself that you are
A self-sufficient person with no need
For love, and that you are strong.
However, you crave for love to fix you.
And love does come, in the rarest form.

A person you'd never think to trust
Tries relentlessly to figure you out,
Until you can fight no more and only
Let the person inside of your empty heart.
789 · Aug 2014
Can You See Me?
untitled Aug 2014
They say eyes are the key to your soul,
So what do you see in me?
Is it the masked happiness that I don,
Or do you see me for who I am?

Can you see the retched soul living inside,
Everyday hiding in a merry disguise?
Do you see the pain in my soul,
The weight that is placed upon myself?

If you do see the unhappiness,
Do you even care?
Please someone through their sadness,
I dare.
785 · Apr 2019
"to be young and in love"
untitled Apr 2019
each press of my lips on your skin,
a gentle whisper of a secret, muffled,
too faint to be heard aloud—
it falls silent upon ears
but the heart seeps each promise
and intangible emotion in.

I look at you dreamily,
my eyes convey what my cowardice
will not dare to say.
I know you see it,
clear as day—
I am afraid though,
as we bear separate truths.
poem for my girlfriend
773 · Feb 2015
Illuminate
untitled Feb 2015
Bright streaks of light
Illuminate the rather bleak, dark room;
Shadows of the past cast upon its walls
Impeding upon the luminous source,
Threatening to mask all the remnants of the
Fortified enclosure that are aglow.
The dark ghosts taunt the unobscured light,
In hopes of adumbrating the new-found optimism.
694 · Nov 2016
Untitled
untitled Nov 2016
please don't let me go,
I always tell you so;
my heart won't bear
yet another tear--
please don't leave me,
as I can only be
happy as a ray of light
dancing through the night
with you by my side
not fearing for cover to hide
and place my guards up high
afraid that love is a lie;
so stay, and please don't go,
for I may not know
how to smile again,
only knowing how to use a pen
to illustrate my tragedies
through poetic strategies
607 · Dec 2014
I Was Lost
untitled Dec 2014
I was lost in the charm of her smiling eyes,
Lost in the gleam of her eyes;
Too lost to see the darkness inside.

She was my light, and I was blinded
By the glare of the sun; too naive to notice
That there is a dark side of the moon.

I was mesmerized by that scintillating smile,
Enthralled by her endless beauty;
To foresee what would come to be.

And billowing clouds came rushing in,
Covering my beautiful morning sky;
Blocking out all of the false light.

Now I am surrounded by the darkness,
I am searching for the gleam in her eyes;
Now it is lost and so am I.
551 · Aug 2014
You Hold a Piece of Me
untitled Aug 2014
In your hand you hold
A piece of my fragile heart.
Easily you could crush it,
For with even the most
Tenuous flick of your fingers,
A bit of my heart would break.

Although I am vulnerable,
Never do you cause me pain.
Instead, my heart feels whole;
My love for you flowing and
Filling in the broken pieces.

My heart is nothing significant,
As it is an ***** found in
Each and every human being.
It's the greatest gift I can render,
Hence, for me; it is everything.

And so, I have given you my all.
You've allowed me to love you
And gave good reason to do so.
I've loved you so much that,
I cannot love you more nor less.
My love for you now is and
Will always be unconditional.

Although I am hesitant to love,
Love is beautiful in essence.
In spite of the fact that you have
The power to hurt me badly,
It is never used to your advantage.
All you ever show me is kindness,
And that is what love should be.
550 · May 2015
Two Haikus
untitled May 2015
The wind is howling,
Flowers are swaying sing-song,
Nature is alive

The water's falling
In its own peaceful rhythm
Nature's lullaby
543 · Apr 2019
eau de parfum
untitled Apr 2019
you linger in my head
like a fresh spritz of perfume,
wafting around my headspace
and pervading my senses,
I am utterly consumed by you.
444 · Mar 2015
Untitled
untitled Mar 2015
The place she has in my heart is indelible, as if it were tattooed with permanent ink from that of a pen. The terms of endearment used and the way I would always smile just being around her, was my solace. She made my world, that was often viewed as black and white; polychromatic, infused with vibrant colors. Anytime I was with her, there was an aura of tranquility, and she was always there to alleviate any stress. But then, she no longer cared for me, which impinged upon my new-found optimism. As quick as she was to bestow upon me this great source of joyfulness, she was also swift to retract it.
The diversity of colors now vanished, no longer vibrant but instead dull. And I began to understand the concepts of love that viewed it to be evil. But her previous words of affection still reverberated in my head, as a way to haunt me.
392 · Nov 2014
Untitled
untitled Nov 2014
My mind now in a constant disarray,
Before I could hide it and let it slip away.
But I can't ignore the fact that I like you,
So the logical reasoning would be to let you go.
But I noticed, I noticed that I need you.
I need you because I do love you...
A wave of guilt is always soon to consume me,
Without any acts of infidelity occurring.
363 · Nov 2014
Untitled
untitled Nov 2014
You see a smile, but look at the hurt in her eyes.
You say she's an attention seeker, she's hurting inside.
You say she's too hormonal, yet you continually abuse her with words.
You say it just words, yet they leave a lasting impact.
You say you love her, but isn't love supposed to be kindness?
You say she wants too much, but she needs your affection.
You see her sad face, yet all you do is spew out venom in your words.
You complain that she has the wrong mindset, but you ****** with her mind.
You think you love her, but you cause her too much pain.
You cheat on her, but you expect her to be content and secure.
You want her to be real with you, yet all you do is judge her true words.
You want her to stay with you, yet your actions drive her away.
You want her to leave when you've put her down at her worst.
You continuously manipulate her, and act as if it is okay.
untitled Sep 2019
You told me that I could aspire to and be anything,
Yet my heart aches for more than intellectual stimulus
and I aspire for a love I cannot achieve.

Are there some things we are meant to never attain?
I seek a fulfilling love, and finally when I have grasped in,
when the pads of my fingers have finally sunk in,
it is ripped from my possession.

Why do people leave me when I devote all my time and energy
into those that I love and cherish.
Maybe the root of my demise is that I love too deeply,
that it is all too much for one to bear the responsibility of.

Every time someone leaves,
I lose hope in the prospect of love.

While a reader may think I am speaking of a romantic love,
it is not exclusively that type of love-- I seek the love of friends.

I have none.
311 · Sep 2019
Untitled
untitled Sep 2019
You love me when I cannot love myself.
You bathe me in your love til my soul is cleansed with your purity.

I have not felt this love in a long time, baby.
But, this kind of love scares me more than anything.

Because one day, you will leave.
And my tears will wash away all hope of a lasting love.
285 · Jan 2015
Untitled
untitled Jan 2015
She still loves you and it's hard.
The first week was hard for her to endure,
Her heart cringing at the sight of you.
For her to hear your name, see your face;
Broke her heart a little.
You were her closest friend,
And she had no one else.

Although she ended it,
She still cares so much.
You meant something to her,
But you were also a great source of pain.
She couldn't stay with you
Because to see your face made her
Feel disgusted at the mean words you spoke.

Now that she's not with you,
She misses you so much.
Even when she decided to leave,
She didn't want to, but it
Was an unhealthy relationship for her.

You are a great person and all she wanted
Was for you to be happy,
And you are doing fine.
You are fine without her,
But she is not.
I wrote this about me in the third person.

— The End —