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Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2019
I have been in places worse
Where I could not see the light
It was different I swear
Than how I feel tonight
This is not pain in my smile
It is something I can't name
Every time I sigh I know
I am the one to blame
Another oldie
Alaina Moore Oct 2019
Relapse
It's a word that keeps coming up.
Get it?! Keeps coming up?
It's something that makes us think of substances and addiction.
A narrow view of a massive crisis.
As it festers and grows, you ignore it.
It spins webs that sew into you until more fiber is relapse than progress.
Eventually leading you to the same place it always does.
A self fabricated wall with no ropes, ladders or shovels to aid in moving past the barrier.
Spanning to a wider view you'll find that relapse is a state of mind.
Toward the diet, the feeling, the mood, the bad habit, the obsession, the perspective or the substance.
Though it is a repeated journey attempting to best tbe barrier via the same path is a path to nowhere.
Be creative, be different, be confident, find the energy and want to change.
That is the path away from misery and repetition.
I'm currently battling falling back into a deep depression that is absolutely besting me.
Arden Sep 2019
i was getting better  
i was feeling again  

But
Now

its crashing down
in slow motion this time  
i desperately try to stop it  
but just keep getting attacked

by this thing  
this monster that i  
cant see  
how do i defend myself  
against something that  
i cannot see  

how do i be  
not broken  
im tired of being broken
my jagged edges keep cutting  
people i care about  

i was getting better  
but now  
im shattering
julianna Aug 2019
Mixed with shame,
A tint of red that calls my name.
Tiptoe around the subject,
Or else you’ll see me burst.
Holding all these things inside
Makes me feel worse.
Carl D'Souza Aug 2019
When I was a youth
I thought people were better than me
because they were
richer than me,
had more status than me,
and were more handsome than me;
but now that I’m wiser
I ask: Are they joyful and happy?

A rich man
may be driving a splendid red Ferrari
but is he joyful and happy
or is he on anti-depressant drugs?

A government official
may have status and authority
but is he joyful and happy
or is he on anti-depressant drugs?

A movie actor
may be famous and handsome
but is he joyful and happy
or is he on anti-depressant drugs?
Alan S Bailey Jul 2019
Some consolation...
I **** at all the things I'm BEST AT.
That's how I feel now.
Sorry to ruin everything for everyone.
I will go away now.
Please God, pray let me disappear somehow.
Why did things get worse?
The harder I try to get rid of it,
The more it gets stronger, not just a little bit.
I thought I won't have feelings for you anymore,
If I try to get to know with someone more.
Break time, I went to the ground floor,
Thinking if I'll like someone more.
I saw you again that made my heart flutter,
But you were with the girl you liked before.
When both of you saw me,
You guys went with me.
Even if there was a bit of jealousy,
You still made my day completely.
Bunny :((
Tsunami Jun 2019
Everyone has an addiction.
Some, simpler than others.
Some, the worst things on earth.
But most of them,
Albeit all of them,
Are trying to numb something that tears them to shreds.
Zelda May 2019
i
it's been raining
like waves crashing on the sidewalk
i've been avoiding the puddles
waiting on the dawn of something i can hold
to come along and make me feel alive
again?

but the days never come easy
the morning rush only brings silence
the loneliness drags on
i've been wondering if the strangers on the bus
feel the same way
i do
are they breathing?

sleep won't come
affectionate offerings mean nothing
it could get better
but all it is
is getting worse
and all i to know
is i want to know
what it feels like
to feel hurt again
because all i feel
is nothing

so if this happens to be a rare situation
a bad dream where i'm running
a sweet dream where i cut
off everything i hate
about myself
maybe it'll turn out alright
and i'll find the feeling
to feel alive
again

i've been fighting a long time
i can't save him now
i've been fighting a long time
she can't save me now
i've been fighting a long time
i can't save me now
I might come back to rewrite it because I'm not 100% happy with it, but I think for now it's okay
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