Now that you are asleep dear I can think clearly about us.
The two people that we were, we are, and that we are becoming;
And while sometimes it terrifies me right now it merely brings a small smile to my face.
Because we are still here. Together. After nearly a two years and a half. The longest I have stayed by someone's side like this.
Bridging the gap between friends and lovers, and I think I could stay like this for years to come if only the stars will smile upon us.
But just like the stars I will wander, and because of that I worry when you call me your world. I have never wanted to be someone's world - especially not after seeing what can happen to someone who builds their universe around another whom they might eventually come to lose.
I do not want to be your galaxy, or your world, or your everything because…
Darling, my darling, my dear..
Your world is not a single people or even three.. Your world is everything you make it to be. It is everything you have ever done. Everything you will do. It is every song you sing. Every game you play. Every word you speak. And every life you touch and change.
I am just a small - though I'd like to believe important - piece to that vast and still growing space.
And, dear one. Though I know you would stand against this, I know that in the end I am just as replaceable as everyone on this Earth within your life. And though you may not understand that makes what we have all the sweeter for me. Because I don't long for forever anymore. Just for now and however long now can last.. If it's the rest of our lives then I'll rejoice, but if not I'm glad to have l retaught you what it means like to fall fast. To fall fast into love.
I hope I never have to teach you what it means to fall out of love like a thunderstorm beating it's refrain against our hearts.. but if I ever do just remember that just as I filled parts of a void left in your life by another special someone, another sweet human will come along to remind you what it means to smile again.
But they will not pick up your shards because my darling you are not glass. You are a will and soul of iron. You may be dented and bent sometimes, but you will never be broken. That next person will warm your soul.. They will fill up a place which you thought was lost to someone of the past. Perhaps me. Perhaps another. Regardless they will fill it just as you will fill something in them, and the warmth will let you change again. In the end they will welcome you into the forge of their hearts and you will either come out dented again yet stronger for it or stronger still than that with a bit more of your old shape now sharpened into a steel of comfort. Either way you will grow..
Just keep growing. With me by your side. Lets grown together for now because we still have so much farther to go. Do not think of yourself as old. You are merely aging. No time has been wasted because we are all aging; and sometimes a 10 year old can be older than a 50 year old. Age is a number it is the experiences we have lived which give us our growth, and right now we are still in a stage where we can be so very naive like babes yet in the swaddling cloth. How else would we have thought about forever in regards to two souls.
Despite this though. I wish to stand by you till the end of whatever we are. Until we can no longer shield, and guide, and care for one another. You have helped teach me to go from a place where I thought my body was all I could give as a token of care for another person to a place where I know my worth is more than what is written in my flesh.
So, my wolf... My Irish Lycanthrope.. Do not call me or make me your moon or your world.. Just allow me to be another treasured piece of the life you are building knowing that though you can live on without me.. You don't want to for now.
Just let me stand by your side, and that will be enough for however long the fates have appointed to us.
I really don't know what this is, but awhile ago.. it just flowed out and became beautiful. So I thought it was finally time to post it.
Here's to words spilled upon canvassed that may never be read by who they were written for, and for the lies we sometimes tell ourselves.
Welcome to my mind's late nights, Everyone.
- EPL (EtherealOmega)
