i always feel this constant need to be relevant,
to have people noticing me
or talking about me,
i want to be on everyone's mind
and, when i'm not, i feel like
i'm going to fall off
the face of the earth
with no one to pick me up
when i'm broken and bruised,
no one to care
because i'm not relevant enough
to be known,

it's this sinking feeling in my stomach
that makes me feel like i'm not good enough,
that people don't actually like me,
so i fall into these moods
where i feel as if i annoy everyone
and i know i shouldn't be clingy,
and i hate myself for it every second,

but i can't help that i feel so alone in this world
that i need the attention of others,
to feel alive again,
to see color in my own black and white world