everyone thinks they know me
but they only the version of me that they have instilled in their mind
based off of jokes, or conversation or encounters
there are a hundreds of me out there walking around with all the people I've ever known
assumptions or truth or false information about who I am swirl around me in all the day to day life
all of these versions of me have me mixed in my own cocktail of loneliness
even with all the ME in the world
I still dont even know who I am

She confuses me a lot
She is different now
A winding unstoppable force
And I hate it
I am unable to hold her
To understand what she has become
She is so far away from me
Stepped miles towards somewhere I cannot follow
I do not know her anymore
Who is she to me?
What do I owe her?
She has lost the right to call me anything
She acts as an acquaintance
I just want her back
The way I remember her
When she used to care
To inspire
To be there
When she was still known by my soul
I am deeply torn by her
And she doesn't even know

Speaking of recurring themes,
these days all of my dreams
display in pallor,
static
salt and pepper gray,
where once they held a spectrum
vivid in decadence.

I won't die screaming, though,
I
will laugh until I
drive someone to violence
and come to grasp the consequences, full,
defined in foreign definitions
I will surely come to understand.
Then, in all likelihood,
wind up screaming, anyway.

girlworm, you grab a wrist like you've known modesty in the shyness of a bare feeling gripped tight on the one offering it
tightrope fingers falling into the spaces of unspoken territory, slipping into familiar qualms like the worn lipsticks that fits the grooves of my lips like an object of my affection
knowing the contour of what i'm never aware of
anxieties creep like an overgrown lawn
these fears personifying into antsy women invading my kitchen telling me that there's not enough ventilation and the stove is on leaking gas into the baby lungs of a young smoker
and when i begin to argue they give both a look of sympathy and disgust as they say "oh child you drown so easily"
so i sit chewing my nails as i count the birds outside flying back and forth from their post as if they can't remember where they're going towards or if there's something that could possibly pull them elsewhere
my mind swirls in the smoothie of a plastic cup that sticks to the coffee table, the rings of different bottles painting circles for me to memorize again
my paradise sits with the roughness of his knuckles and the ambiguity of eyes that could know everything and i would set fire to the stars inside because of the jealousy that grows from pretty things being smoldered under skin
when i begin to lose my person, pale and shivering i go towards it
empty stomached and ready to be buried in the clothes of her
that i can imagine becoming the consistency of yogurt in my lap
kissing back my tremors as i lift up her hair from curious shoulders
dry-heaving the importance of the cheeks that feel warmer as they settle on hands that are brought together as if in deep prayer and i know i will collect myself again one day
girlworm, you're a swarm in my chest and i am me

Who are you?
    Chaff on the wind?
    Child on the swing?
    An acorn falling midst the thick of Fall?

And what are you?
    A babbling brook?
    A winding road?
    Or a born tree with lead lined ink, skyscraper tall?

Why are you so?
    A constant ache?
    A worried mind?
    A mentality amongst those most small?

And who are you?
    And what are you?
       And why must I ask?
         Are you even here at all?

Your pulsing energy releases
deepest tender emotions:
they flow into my heart
casting out bleakness,
in a gentle morn awakening.

Breaking silence, your voice
in poetry of true acceptance,
calls to me.  I become aware again
of your strength and stability:
then my eyes see beyond beauty.

It wells up from knowing
that  deep within ourselves,
loveliness cannot exist without the
knowledge of comparison of what
is ever undeniably true or false.

We can in solitude see
through fate’s deceptions.
Nothing can stop love from entering.
Thoughts made of illusions are destroyed.  
Mystical visions of truth are revealed.

Passions that have always been
within both of us are stirred.
Now clinging fears flee hence:
we stand together Twin Flames
strong in certainty.  We feel the
power of love in ourselves that is timeless.


ISIS & OSIRIS

Someday i'm going to break, i'll lose it
and then the whole world will be sorry..
I'm ready to shoot, hand me the pistol.
I hid myself so much,
my sanity was the only thing the seeker couldn't find.
I have all these things going through my Mind.
My best friend forever just left me behind.
When I fall asleep is when I feel at peace the most
Not sure if what we had can be fixed but,
It would be unfair to allow you to move forward.
As I'm stuck here in our memories,
With a shattered heart.
I want you to know I won't let you forget me.
EVER...
I'll place myself in every past memory of yours...
I'll interrupt every relationship you dare to hold...
it was your mistake to promise a forever
to a boy who would believe you



© Copyright Tyler Atherton

I was lonely I was lonely but I was
I'm in love but I was with you my
heart was not in me it was
flew over you like you yourself

i was lonely lonely lonely and was
I'm alone in the forest clean and beautiful
I thought only you were thinking about you
just about your forgotten smile

i lost you like i lost myself
I lost your watch like my own
and where is I now and who is now
what happens to me now

14.10.18