I have never
heard my thoughts
sing so loudly as
they did when
they went dancing with yours
in complete and
utter silence
the moment
your eyes
landed on mine

I got over you and then
realized there was no one
to get over to
and allowed you
to reside in the
forgotten corners of my mind;

you're nothing to me, but
you were everything, but
everything became nothing, but
I made that nothing
everything for
fear of being nothing
without you.

I want more than I need and
I feel nothing when I bleed;
finding feelings I buried
six feet deep and I see
the things I neglect to feel
in my sleep

High strung off
loose ends,
constructed of foundation
condemned,
I am the puzzle with no edge pieces,
my crying is tearless;

Is it possible to be terrified and
also fearless?

A smile can break through

Once in awhile

But at least it is genuine and true.

A happy laugh

Sometimes

Can give hope

Even if it is just a little

It's still just enough

To make it through

Maybe it isn't time

To let go

And to give in

R E A C H  out

Pull through

Because being strong

Is sometimes all

we can do.

i want you to come back,
i want us to go back to the way things were,
to the time when we were madly in love with each other,
to the time when you couldnt even bear to be away from me for even just a day,
to the time when everything is perfect and everyday is a perfect day--
well, not exaclt perfect because we do fight a lot and most of them are about things that didnt even matter--
but to me they were perfect because theres you and theres me and the world can go **** itself because nothing can separate us then.


then.


thats the most hurtful word that i could think of that can describe whatever im feeling rght now; whatever emptiness this is.


us....then.

its so much different from the "us" now.
because theres no "us" now.
but i guess Theodore Finch is right; theres a built-in ending in everything.

And i guess this is ours.

And even though im the least bit ready for this inevitable built-in ending that we've created for ourselves,
i cant do anything but accept it.
Because you chose this...not me.
You gave up.
You left me.
And you have someone else now,
And its game over for me.

We both knew what it can bring
We knew only sorrow and shame

You said it seemed lousy
But years it's been since you last came

We've had enough time to shout out loud
We've never once spoken at the same end

She's got her tiny world
inside yours for couple of times
and then Life happened -

Regardless of my reagal remonstration, I remain a regular rodent in a rig.

If you asked me a year ago I would've told
You that meeting him was as accurate
As there being a second planet earth.

I would've told you all about
How much I doubted my worth.

Presented you with elaborate detail
On my fathers affair
My views on life
And why love is never fair.

A year ago you would've found me wrapped up
In the lies I'd been told
Came across the girl who's
Heart was once warm
And thus turned cold.

Who I was then
Is not who I am now

Because when I wake up
I'm no longer alone
I finally started picking up my phone.

You'll come across the girl from years ago
Sher underwent a recovery
Like never before.

Aided by his touch
And healed by his love
She became his priority
Knowing her healing was a must.

So now if you look
I'll be in his arms
Curled up in this newfound love

Oh, you want to talk?
It's been months now
I almost had forgotten
how you changed me,
                     *back then.