I must've been more stressed than I seemed
Petting my dog, I released a guttural scream
I've been studying projectiles, calculus, and semantic ABCs
I just hope it's enough to get through the SATs

I'm way beyond stressed.
There's so many tests,
I have to pass.
I'm as fragile as glass.
I feel like I am going to break.
I hope I don't, for my own sake.
Anxiety seems to take root.
I wish I could put my thoughts on mute.
They swirl around me,
Making me feel dizzy.
I feel like I am going to break.
I hope I don't for my own sake.

My back is straight
when the marked test lands in front of me;
I got an A.
-obviously-

Addy always gets an A
She’s so perfect.
How does she do it?

I’ll answer that question.
She eats the words
‘you’re so ****’
every morning, just before running to school.

Then, at dinner
She is rewarded
with a bruise.
One for every day of the week.

My face is perfectly straight
When the marked test lands in front of me.
One mark off.
-I got a Well done-*

She basically does everything right.
I bet her family is real proud.
She must get some real respect.*

Yeah, real proud.
Which was why,
Her parents had an argument.
Her mum had chosen the tuition.
So her dad screamed did his voice was bare.
That it was mum’s and Addy’s fault she ‘failed’ that test.
It was their fault that they didn’t care

So if I was to teach a lesson
I beg for you to not compare
The perfectionism of a girl so bright
You don’t know what happens to her; you don’t know what happens out there

consume endless stimulants
anything to get through this

lifeless eyes with sunken souls
tucked away in hidden holes

the hands on the clock do a full rotation
returning then surpassing their first location

alternating breaks between coffee and bogies
i sit on the floor, my effort withholding

breathe in, breathe out, inhale deep
i know not about counting sheep

a few more bodies tough it out
"we are the champions," i want to shout

and i'm delusional, so i just might
tell this empty room about my sleepless night

When the answers are rigged,
change the solution.

The darkness is everywhere
It tries to eat you inside for it doesn't care
It comes in many shapes and sizes
But it never empathizes
All it wishes is to enter your heart and infect your brain
Causing you to hurt everyone and go insane
It is something that will always be around until the end of time
And it's own creation should've been a crime
But it's merely a test
To see who is suited best
For this world is the game of the gods as the bet on the lives of others for their own amusement
Creating their own darkness for the enemies torment
Even though they do this and use all life as pawns
The game will always go on
But we can help each other in this game
For our lives equal the same
And even though the darkness doesn't effect me anymore
Your heart is still an open door
So do as I say
And everything is okay
And that is to look at life through the way of others
And try to help for we are sisters and brothers
And without each other to rely on
Our entire species would not last long
So I hope that one day you can take a look through the shoes of others
For you never know what has happened to another
And if you think I'm just spewing nonsense and a big ol lie
Try to remember what made you hurt and cry.