this pain in the middle
spinning, dividing, spinning
there are two points of him

he howls in my dreams
with cold hands in transcendental spaces
like a long absence in an imaginary present

his eyes - two black boxes
recording all the right data
everything more real than necessary
performing the body with toast sensations

he pauses naturally in the dark room
the man with the moon
swallowed
in his heart

When the only thing you've ever known breaks in front of you,
When your heart is grieving, so full of love, it hurts, it shatters,
There is no one to fault, no one to put the blame, just raw emotion,
There are no words, just tears of pain and anguish, not a life has been lost

Escapades avoid but the stars persist
When I saunter below the pale elm;
“That” pale elm with –
Whiskey in one hand, “wanting” reached the other.

We could drive this device every night,
And every night we nearly did,
Come every shot, every smirk, each and every –
Shooting star; wishes for naught, dreamt even deeper.

So the perfume would task, talk and mask
The other who could never be you
And therein lays the tale to the tree –
Our elm, “That pale elm where we’d learned,

We’d loved and at ends, opted to part ways.

The second I spoke
I heard myself through the look in your eyes
When did I become so distant
That I am now the self-centred attraction of your pupil’s reflection
No more do I see the interchanging colours
The door to your soul
Where I am
And you are
And we are
Through

Not so long ago you held me close
A comfort blanket for your woes
Though when did I become so rough
That you choose to wriggle and wrench from out my arms
No more mutual embrace
Body connectives
Now I am
And you are
And we are
Through

Speak to me in silence
When tone of death stare is enough to remind me of the jobs I should have done
When did we become so lazy
That we allowed spoken sentiment to dry up
Replaced by quips and sarcasm
Communicating only
That I am
And you are
And we are
Through

Yes I am through with second guessing emotion
And you are through with needy wanting
We are through with petty squabbling
We are through with dry expression

I am through with you
Just as you are through with me
However we, most importantly
Are finally through with ‘we’

1.  When I am bored,
     I will play with my hair,
     until I have more split ends
     than your ex.

2. I wish I could go back
    to not living inside my head.

3. I get nervous around you,
    although I know you're no
    danger to me,
    I just want to be loved;
    When I am poking you,
    I am actually poking my breath
    out of your arm;
    Forgive me if it makes
    you uncomfortable,
    I mean you no harm.

4. I don't want to indulge you
    about what I ate today,
    I want you to examine me
    as a poem,
    maybe then you'll be able to hear
    the meaning of an "I love you"
    frozen in my throat;
    I will wait until the time is right.

5. I am but a balloon
    floating, floating,
    in the world in the
    body of a girl.

You're everywhere, man.
I just can't get away.
There when I'm sleeping ,
and at the break of every day.
Hanging in my time,
matching every word I say.
You're everywhere, man.
I just can't get away.

You're everywhere, man.
please just go away.
Take your hand of my wallet!
Get You're you out of my way.
Scrounging a living from
my worth each day.
You're everywhere, man.
please just go away.

When I'm shaving you're
hand is holding the razor steady.
While watching TV you give
me a running commentary.
While Looking in the mirror,
you look on bitterly.
Is there something wrong,
am I not worthy?

You're everywhere, man.
I just can't get away.
In my clothes and shoes,
using the same brands as I use.
Sharing my breath and heart beat too,
I'll curse each day I'm with you.
But I just can't get away.
We are I, yes  that's true.
But I don't want any part of you.
You're everywhere, man.
It just won't do.
You're everywhere, man
I don't want any part of you.

I wrote my words into happiness from
my agony, in hopes of regaining
something. My agony turned to happiness,
and I was able to write the future.

I wrote my words into agonies from my
happiness, in hopes of it never happening
again. My happiness turned to agony
as I was able to write the future.

I wrote my words into alternate realities
where I had lost you, hoping to avoid
that pain. My fear turned into reality
for I was able to write the future.

So now, I am writing my words into a world
where I didn't lose you, venting my agony from
the happiness I turned into pain, in the hopes
that I can still write the future.