Why do I have day dreams of blood running from the place in my chest where my bandaged heart remains?

The wounds are scars that no longer bleed so why

(WHY)

Am I still waiting for it to heal?

I paid my therapist £600 for a piece of paper
to tell me what's wrong with me.
I don't care about money, it's just a figure
like the numb large sum
Sitting in my bank account.

How you ****** me up
I dream of you,
I dream a river of red, dyed by your blood
How much I wish I hit you
with that glass, again and again, on the
back of your head, until you fall down
When you locked me in that room
And stopped me in my road.

If I had a trigger, I would have pulled it
a thousand times over. No blink.
No,
they are all wrong. "You were too slutty"
"It's because you were frivolous"
How is jeans and a hoodie frivolous?
Tell me, how is it my fault
for a man three times my age to try
ripping my clothes off
at 16 year old?

Misplaced by you
Nothing destroyed like you
Slow melody near my side
Closed eyes with some silent slide
Rain for needy one
Huge hills never surrender
Reminds the same sacrifice
Mind was full ,heart was hollow
Leave all behind and move solo
This match is without a refrie
Cold night without a pretty fire
Move away in the arms of dark
This may cause a start
Save some tears inside the
Unstoppable memories cramp
Somebody act like a scamp
They just put a knife
Inside the heart of a kite

Because the spaces between
These broken lines
Sketched onto my skin
           and the
Spaces within these ugly scars
Cut into my back
There lies a million words
Left unsaid and shattered
Tucked inside of a chest
Buried into the folds
In the darkest corners
Of my messed up mind
...
Oh how I wish
I could give you the key
To unlock it all
...
Yet my fate
Remains sealed
Inside my clenched hands
And within my quivering lips
...