Friendship is not just a word
More than hanging out
Who you've come to rely on
Trust without a doubt

Known from beginning
More than length of time
About who has your back through thick and thin
Help bury a body and cover up the crime

A friend:
Someone who came into
Life when you needed them most
Others left you alone in pain
Remained while everyone else was a ghost

Life is hard
But even harder alone
Remember you are blessed
Have a friend who sticks around
Has truly passed the test

Love is never learned
Until it is lost
It's so hard
To forget pain
But it's even harder
To remember sweetness

We bear no scar
To show for happiness
We learn so little
From peace

I remember dirt, a taste of summer.
The smell of burning pig flesh.
The stench of my great uncles breath,
filtering through his beer drenched mustache
and running down his inflated stomach.

I remember laughter.

I remember the hallowed tree.
“Get your *** outta there” shouts a familiar stranger.
The anger I felt as I scratched my blistered skin
in the autumn breeze.

I remember poison oak.

I remember the smell of cinnamon
and spiked cider with Santa there on guard.
The snag of turning wheels on rug.
The chitter chatter of adults
as children pitter pattered around.

I remember Christmas.

I remember my tie was too tight.
“What a grownup you’ve become”
The smell of flowers and formaldehyde
loomed over forced smiles.

I remember leaving my family
in this showcase of the dead

So it’s like that?
For so long we’ve been estranged
All because you wanted “change.”
Oh you like that?
Feeling like you’ve grown
Because you abandoned everything you’ve known?
I’m deep in your bones.
You think you could’ve survived
Out there on your own?
No, no, no….
It was me that you ran to
When the world couldn’t stand you
This picture that you paint is so contrived.
I won’t be ignored.
Show them who you wish to be,
I’m as much of you as you are of me.
I’ll be around to collect my debt
Because the mirror won’t let you forget.

you have discovered
you can travel through time
but your favorite place
was always the past
déja vu
you go in loops
reliving what was

remembering is a curse
for feet that desire
to move forward
and eyes that can only
look back
you cannot spit out
the bittersweet taste

this place is barren
but the ghosts you left behind
walk its empty streets
and you keep visiting
to see the love you lost
with flowers on its grave
ones you do not recognize

the present is a place
that seldom interests you
you walk backwards
towards it
you are still welcome
and the gates are open
if you ask for the key

the future cares for you
cannot wait to see your face
you have gone weary
from your travels
going further and further back
you can return any time
but here you will be loved

Another year has come and passed,
And its Christmas time at last.
Lots has changed,
Things have been rearranged.
Some have come,
Some have gone.
Some things have become,
What others have un-done.

Sitting here,
This time of year.
I hope your mind is clear,
And you know you are thought of my dear.

I wish you joy,
Maybe a new toy,
I wish you love,
Hope it fots like a glove.
I wish you peace,
Even a sweater of fleece.
Most of all i wish for this,
You to have a day of bliss.

Someday, I won't remember this
Sitting in a bedroom
With only the Christmas lights on
On a half-baked winter solstice
In week old sweatpants
Faded hair and muscles sore
My vision blurring
Pixelating
Focused only on the screen
I won't remember this
No one will