Rewind two years to the time that we met. You always use to tell me that was a day you would never forget. Now I'm sitting here waiting for you to answer my texts. But I got back burner status when I became just an ex. We went from best friends to strangers in just one day.. I keep begging you to come back, but you keep drifting away. And it's not okay. I'm not okay. I remember taking pictures like it was just yesterday. And you said you would stay. So please tell me why you're not here babe. Sorry that's wrong of me to call you. It's just habit I guess. Who would of known loves like a bullet to the chest. But you're already talking about how you're on to the next? And how you love her, and you need her, and she don't make you stress. But you know you only want whats under her dress. Cause nothing can replace the kind of love we had. And I know deep in your soul this is driving you mad. So please come back. Just please, come back.

I’ve always found it odd when people avoid eye contact
What exactly is it that they are hiding?
Or is it fear?
The all-consuming Mr. Walker going around breaking through windows and damning souls!
There are numerous platforms for people to interact with one another
But somewhere down the line the connection was lost, forgotten
I sometimes wonder how our species will continue to flourish
The young men of tomorrow
will rather rub one out to a hologram e-**** on their iPhone XXVI than pursue a ripe Jenny up the street
Her organs must be aching to be rearranged
The poor *******
Yeah, sometimes I wonder
Then I swipe right
   Right
                   Left            and
            
Right
I’m going to find someone in my area to get my **** wet

romanticize our problems
until they are colored in pink and purple hues
baby blue mornings filled with you
fantasize our perfect life together
what if reality is the fake
coffee, music, and solitude can be found
any Saturday safely in your arms
awoken by kisses soft and gentle
until clothes end up getting lost somewhere
dancing around the living room
in our pajamas, without masks on
I wish this was still true
but this is not reality, this is not truth
this is me romanticizing past loving
like dreaming of Paris in the rain

Went through so much together
Until you hurt me so much
Had to leave you
Before there was nothing left of us
Day by day, things got worse
Friendzoned from mistakes I made
Not saying I didn't deserve it, still hurts
Can't say, you aren't always on my mind
Everything that could have been
Now a distant memory
Didn't want me in all the ways I wanted you
After everything I said
After all the assumptions that ****** with my head
Even after all of that, Even after hitting rock bottom
Still, want you, Still, need you
I was better when I was with you

Even after all the ways
you broke my heart
I'm still in love with you
You're everything I see
You're everything I dreamed
Even after all the ways
You shattered my soul
I'm still in love with you
And I hope you understand
I still want to be your man
I still want you to be my world
I still want you to be my girl

And maybe this all falls on deaf ears
And maybe you'll never read this
Put it in a letter, just so you know
All that you mean to me
Maybe one day, you will see
I was sincere in these words I wrote
Maybe one day, you will see
You should have been with me
There's nothing I wouldn't do for you
There's no distance that could stop me
From making it to you
Even if you're sent to heaven
I'll follow you there
Hell couldn't hold me back
If I was what you wanted
I'd be there
With you is where I want to be

Even after all the ways
you broke my heart
I'm still in love with you
You're everything I see
You're everything I dreamed
Even after all the ways
You shattered my soul
I'm still in love with you
And I hope you understand
I still want to be your man
I still want you to be my world
I still want you to be my girl

And I'll never live down
The hurt that I caused
And I was stupid
For letting go
Of the one girl, I truly loved
And they said to have faith in
“Gods plans”
But, I questioned his plans
With the way we ended
All I'm left with now is what “ifs”
and a longing for your touch and kiss
And I hunger for your graceful gaze
And the way you light up my face
I miss us and the way we talked
I miss everything we were
But most of all I miss you

Even after all the ways
you broke my heart
I'm still in love with you
You're everything I see
You're everything I dreamed
Even after all the ways
You shattered my soul
I'm still in love with you
And I hope you understand
I still want to be your man
I still want you to be my world
I still want you to be my girl

©2018 Written By Benji James

In the world where everyone want to share
their emotions and feelings to get free from it.

She hugged me and told me "I'm always there to listen to your problems and solve them."

I could cry
I'm exhausted
anxious
lonely
on edge
lately I feel like I've been walking on a mental tightrope
unbalanced and ready to slip at anytime
I keep telling myself I need more sleep
or it's just this birth control in my arm,
but I've told myself these same things since I was 14 years old
and I've slept since then
I've switched birth control since then,
I've still hurt myself since then

your love hurts
but i cant help but need it
i cant help but need you
why do you love me
why do you do these things to me
you tell me you love me
and i say it back
but do you really?
we haven't talked in months
you talked **** to someone who tells me everything
'it was just because of my meds but im in love with her'
you say to the girl who sleeps over my house for days and nights on end
the girl who loves me too
the girl who learned to hate you because you love me instead
why do i cause problems.
i fell in love with you day by day
it slowly eats away at me not being able to see you
why is it this way
why am i in love with you
i hate this feeling but...i love you