You looked at me, absent-minded. Comparing with eyes made for judgment. It's your right.

It's too bad you don't see the hurt, the words carved into me. The ones that go "she's skinnier" or "she's prettier, you know". I try and consult, whispering "mirror mirror on the wall" but it just won't look at me.

You did it without thinking. Took the liberty to stare me up and down, and when I asked you why you were surprised. You weren't doing it on purpose. I was just a visual obstacle you could look over and judge.

Maybe you lacked malice, but I still saw the wish for better in your eyes. You didn't need to put it into words. I heard it all. Felt the need for better, as I covered up, so you no longer had to be disappointed.

You checked them out and looked at me after as if surprised you'd accepted this version of a body for so long.

Dear Autumn,

Please take away all the pain I held over summers head. Dress up scars with pretty orange and yellow leaves. Leave me bare for winter, so I can be found again. In the city where acceptance is the only thing we have going for us. In my flashy, save neighborhood where I feel most myself. I walk over spines and skin fallen from trees and pretend I don't know, don't hear them begging to be heard. Begging to be found, before the season seals this grave.

Don't forget the scratches that healed into nothing
He might not have scarred but he certainly clawed
Aimlessly and wild
At your heart
His intent set on never loving you right
That counts for something
So don't let him back in when he lies crying at your feet
Begging to be understood and pleading sorrow he doesn't feel
Bruises may lose color but never their ghost
So remember that because each hit after
Will hurt a tiny bit more than the one before

Your technicolor emotions turn into watered-down versions when the alcohol seeps into your veins. Creating watercolor paint, and with that, you craft me images of a world unframed. Sculpting beauty from hope and wonders you found on the floor.
Perspective lost to the consumption of liquid courage. Making way for actions unrestrained. A little too much. A little too lost. A little too loosely letting your tongue take charge. Amplified by longing. Tainted by the ever-growing ghost of tomorrow.
You will not remember when morning comes. The art you drew in lazy circles around my weary body. The daunting fables you wrote me into. Left to be nothing more than simple fever dreams to reminisce over.

You leave pavements ******
And graves dug but without bodies
Learning tricks of manipulation
You know how to wrap us around
The small of your finger
With bloodshot eyes and a mouth
Full of sweetened poison
You kiss girls and leave them hungry
Foolishly hoping that your touch
Just might heal them
You leave pavements cracked
So we are all left skipping  
Hoping to save your back
Isn't love unkindly blind?

How could you forget
The way my lips kissed you truths
You felt as heavy as your own
Because they were
We were likes and strangers
How could you forget
The way my arms kept you safe
On nights where the world
Knew how to hurt you most
And I held you as you refused to talk
Because I understood, I had been there before
How could you forget
The laughter in my eyes
As we serenated each other songs
Written decades before we were born
Because I still hear your voice
Deep and unbothered
Full of passion as you looked at me
And me feeling infinite
How could you forget
What it feels like to wake up
Tangled in me, limbs intertwined
Because I wake up empty
Wishing to go back
Longing for those days

How could you forget