She is the girl who dreams and dreams. The girl who will fall in love with a song because of one lyric. She is the girl who thinks ahead to the future, maybe a little too often. The girl who is a mix between let’s relax and let’s go party. She is the girl who can picture her wedding day and all the little details that will make it hers. The girl who is determined for the life she wants. She is the girl who experienced things way beyond her age. The girl who was strong enough to conquer her demons. She is the girl who believes a person can feel like home. The girl who wants to feel the type of love that lasts a lifetime. She is the girl who wants to travel the world with her love. The girl who will make a life for herself, one that she will cherish forever.
I can not wait.
She is the girl who will never let you forget she loves you. The girl who will hang up the phone, and call back to apologize. She is the girl who has eyes you could get lost in. The girl who wears her heart on her sleeve. She is the girl who will say “I am okay.” with tears streaming down her face. The girl who needs someone to tell her it was just a dream, when she wakes up in the middle of the night from a nightmare. She is the girl who won’t sleep a wink without her favorite stuffed animal, no matter how old. The girl who would never give up on who she loves. She is the girl who you will never forget. The girl that you only meet once in a lifetime. She is the girl who believes that loving someone means forever.
That’s me, i’m that girl.
I am that girl the girl that smiles even when hurting
The one that will do anything to make others smile
The one that goes through a lot but doesn’t show it
The one that feels like she is a burden to people
The one that feels like she is not loved
The one that acts strong when she is not
The one that cries herself to sleep
The one that wishes that one day she will feel better
The one that hides her problem from the world
The one that says am Ok when she is not
The one that her heart aches but no one cares
The one that never says no to anyone
The one that is kind but nobody cares
your love hurts
but i cant help but need it
i cant help but need you
why do you love me
why do you do these things to me
you tell me you love me
and i say it back
but do you really?
we haven't talked in months
you talked **** to someone who tells me everything
'it was just because of my meds but im in love with her'
you say to the girl who sleeps over my house for days and nights on end
the girl who loves me too
the girl who learned to hate you because you love me instead
why do i cause problems.
i fell in love with you day by day
it slowly eats away at me not being able to see you
why is it this way
why am i in love with you
i hate this feeling but...i love you
She feared so much
Still she wanted to
see, feel and be
She was her own
No one was like her
And she was
Like no one
She was so talented
Everyone was jealous
But she couldn’t see it
She had no idea
She wanted to feel alive
She went too close
To the fire
Too many times
And ended up
she made every day sunny,
always in my head.
she soon became the reason
i should get out of bed.
she was the neon of the night,
and the cool clouds of the day.
she was the distance to the stars,
she was so far away.
i told her, “you’re beautiful.”
she didn’t hear me.
i looked at her with all of the love in the world,
she didn’t see.
i did these things in my head,
i never let her know.
i should not have kept so quiet,
now i have to let her go.
Remember when we were younger
Talking about our lives
About how we'd be rich
About who'd be our wives
Fueling the fire
Which was built up with lies
I thought I wanted tall,
Blonde with blue eyes
One I could protect
Who needed to be held as she cries
But I've seen this facade
And how it's just lies
Because I had feelings
For someone with different ties
This kind is hard to find
Makes you lose control of your mind
So different from what you wanted
But honestly, you don't mind
And once she's found,
She's hard to give up
The pressure makes you slip up
Making her harder and harder to forget
Making you do something you regret
Like thinking about love
If you still think this is about the girl
And how "she's so pretty"
And "I wish she felt the same"
Then you are mistaken
It's a completely different game
It's the pain you give yourself
When you don't know who to blame
The frustration from wanting
But not having
Thinking all the same
As people who have it worse
All because a girl doesn't remember your name
How can you be happy
When your best quality is shame
So yeah you get upset
Anxious too, but that you forget
Until you meet another girl
Who's into you
Like the girl was who will never love you
"Why did she leave?"
"What did I do wrong?"
"How can I fix this?"
Becomes your most common song
So you forget about the new
And you start to lose hope
You abuse the new's trust
Just so you can cope
Till the horse from up high
Brings the old down from the sky
To you where your hearts start to fly
And are strong together without having to try
All the way
Till the day you die
This is when
You'll wake up from your dream
And understand where you've been
When you discover the culprit
Of all the pain and everything that comes with it
Was you all along
Makes you wonder
If life's worth all the ****?
There is always pain in her.
Between her bones and skin;
separate from her blood.
She has only known
how to cast everything out
from the dinners she's barely keeping down
to the "are you alright"s and "are you eating properly"s
She is so used to
never keeping anything for herself
never holding onto to something she can call her own,
long enough for her to know
how to cherish, how to treasure, how to love.
She is smothered and mothered and suffocated
by the numbers that rise and fall, push and pull
engulfing overwhelming drowning
all that she is.
less is more/ less is more/ less is more
The girl's self worth is
inversely proportional to
how much of her
there is in this world.
That is why she must
refuse refute reject
until she becomes so much closer to nothing
until there is none of her left.
Until she fades out of existence.
Slowly, quietly but surely-
a decrescendo to her swan song
"The world will end with not a bang, but a whimper"
for an instance of a girl.
like a star
the girl shines
plastic packaging removed
double-a batteries inserted
and with a flick of a switch
she lights up
amidst a galaxy of stars
that look just like her
that smile just like her
that behave just like her
she is held together by her own gravity
set forever to whirl and twirl and swirl
about her own little axis
for the sentinels
for the solar systems
for the universe
like a star
the girl dies
inwards not out
from the weight of empty mascara bottles lipstick tubes-face paint
to the weightlessness of her own self