Sometimes I wonder
when I'll stop being a table
tired of people weighing me down;
beginning to croak with strain
no matter how strong my legs are
I find it harder to support myself

Continuously, every day
I feel just a bit flatter

Oh how beautiful are we.
A product of serendipity.
Lost feelings of ambiguity.

You next to me.

Reflection of one's self
relies on the person
staring back at themselves
for the mirror only shows,
what it sees in you
not what you want to look like

Why do you think it hangs face first?

What must it be like to fully exist?
To take shelter fully under one roof
and not be left a page torn in two
One secured by love and hearth
the other too gristly printed
cast to rainy dew and soaked to bone
I should never know.
-I Am Only Half

The first time it happened,
I locked myself in the bathroom for an hour.
I cried, desperately washing away at the blood that was streaming from
In between my legs.
I cried, desperately trying to put myself back together
With concealer for the bruises
And pantyliners for the blood.

The second time it happened,
I picked roses from the garden
And cried at the altar of Christ.
It was at this time that I knew there must be no god,
As no deity that claims everlasting love
Would allow for the heartache
You put me through.

I didn’t understand what had happened to me.
I didn’t know what my body was responding to.
I couldn't apprehend why I was leaving scars on my skin
And changing every aspect of my appearance to
Make my body my own.
I didn’t understand how you could do this to me,
To someone who did everything to protect you.

I still do not understand.