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This life is new to me and I am learning to enjoy the moments. There have been many first times just this year. I now understand what it means to love at first sight. Loving unconditionally has been taught from watching my children love their mates. There are new fights that are being fought. No not with hands as we grow those fights are done away with. The fight for another day is with in me.
While many other things are on constant repeat. There are many new experiences that are being had. Today was the first day that I believe my sister finally tried to understand me. People sometimes paint you to be the person that they think that you are. Or who they want you to be. When I listen to people tell me who I am. What kind of person have always been and it is laughable. It is more than strange that people can know you all of your life and know nothing about you. I have been told that, “you only let people get so close.” This might be true but if I do it should say a lot to you. Trust is earned and never just given.
If I push you away it is because you put me in the situation to. New dreams and heart beats warm my inner being. My mind-set is different. Before I wanted you to know that I am there for you and would put myself to the side to provide. I never looked for anything in return. That mind-set has changed. I can no longer give my all to everyone. I have learned to replenish myself no other human can do that for me.
I am not returning calls that I don’t want to make. I will no longer participate in events to show others that I care. I will not lack sleep to benefit someone that does not deserve my attention. If I delete you I am not interested in knowing that you are offended. You earned your deletion and I hope that you do well. With these small first's I can’t wait to see what more is to come.
As we age we change and as long as the changes are good embrace them
Colm Oct 2018
You think I fear you?
Glorious dusk
And the turning of night from the clear of day?

My dawn arises with a hush
And with a quiet whisper there I find
Amidst the new light narrow way

Afraid of you, I’m not today
Not today
O’ Glorious dusk

For the winds of change
Pick steadily up
And blow you like the chaff away  

Afraid of you, I’m not today
Not today
O’ Glorious dusk

My fears the light has whisked away
Far away from every fright
I fear no glorious dusk today
Dusk Today, Dusk Today
Isaac Sep 2018
The more work done today,
the more exciting tomorrow is.
Written 1 October 2018
Saint Audrey Sep 2018
chasing shades across the borderline
Living shadows leave me misaligned
Shaking hands, release compounded ideas
Violent dreams

Slipping farther from an open mind
Blue and broken, for end of time
Parting ways, never could decide
Just how it should be

Counted down all the time i spent
Reuniting with my arguments
Running lists of all types, worthlessness
Not that hard to see
Isaac Sep 2018
This life can cause pain
But with it is gain.

You may as well push through
To where it leads to.

For it's where your heart longs to be:
Matured, grown, and more free.
Written 27 September 2018
Leslie Ledezma Sep 2018
When the light was hot, your words made them ache so, cry more
sacred how you know the hours that suit you, call for matching gleam
not that far, we could sit in the cold window’s sunshine late
when you have God’s trance like hold of my prayers in your voice
I wonder what it is you have in your eyes

leather older than my mind, sulking up
in the summer beside your soul is like a novel,
beautifully torn into pages with sweet expressions
Way it has to be, just the way it has to be
when cool is your gun on my heart
that’s your affection, it can have
it’s take on me, that’s all
but stone doesn’t get much of a hit, so do what you want
I’ll wait like summer winds in winters go, that millions of days, more

When you put up the volume of what was playing all along
burning through dreams, the cigarettes of talking,
this smoke could really get me there
fortune has always been mine, night belongs to me too
tonight that’s what I’ll give you, laughter of stars,
dense midnight sulked mind, just what you like
don’t deprive your own dose of silver goodness,
that walk too, whatever you say is my needed blindness
Jesus Christ reminiscent

now there’s high skies, on the same side as music - yes here it’s heaven,
soul’s dwelling is what I’ve found in you, that’s all I know, all I need to know
alone, when I was telling you it, I was alone as the lightening you got at the heart,
now don’t make me wait in the garden, each of our meetings the rains of flourishing,
here denying all but that haven of your ways, now be my way
Colm Sep 2018
Tear the idea limb from limb, until the acorn of truth falls.
And then, rend the earth and begin again.
Until another, and another
And another thought begins.
Growing slowly with every Fall.
Acorns everywhere. So are thoughts. Growing. Let them go.
Maria Etre Sep 2018
She couldn't
- - - -c- - - -u- - - -t- - - -
her
-----f- - - -e - - - e- - - l- - - i- - - n- - - g- - - s------
so she
- - - -c- - - -u- - - -t- - - -
her
- - - - - h- - - - a- - - -i- - -r- - -
Mister J Sep 2018
I'm in a trance..

My knees are shaking
My throat choking on words
My face beaded with sweat
My mind in a chaotic state

Here I am..

Wearing this heart of mine
On a sleeve of uncertainty
The words trying to come out
From this stomach filled with butterflies

How do I say this?

Ever since that day we met
You already caught my attention
My eyes we're looking towards you
With every little thing you do

Everyday you sparkled..

Like stars in a dark night sky
Every little thing about you
Set sparks in my ******, depressing life
Little cinders slowly burning my anxieties away

Until I was set ablaze..

Consuming every bit of me
Occupying my every thought
And before I was aware of it
You pulled my heart towards you

It consumes me..

This insanity I call ''you''
It makes me writhe in pain
But also eases my sorrows
Burning me to my core

I'm going crazy..

I never even planned this
To fall in love with my best friend
But the more time we spent together
Made me realize that I always wanted you

It's not an easy thing..

To tell you that you consume me
And that I want you to be mine
And I, to be yours only
To be more than what we have now

I want to take you..

And lead you towards an uncertainty
That may completely destroy what this is
But the only thing I know for certain is
That these feelings are real and overflowing

So..

Here I am terrified
Giving my heart to you
Whether you break it or throw it away
Know that from this day on
I declare to the world
That I want to us to be more
Than what we are now
And that this heart that I give
Will always belong to you

Writing this piece not with my mind but my heart,
Not with my thoughts, but with my feelings
It's not easy to say
but I wanna say it anyway

I love you.
From the heart..

Happy Reading! Thanks!

-J
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