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I try to stop and wonder why
Am I numb now?
Tears start to fall
Never wanting to stop

Just a minute ago
I was laughing
Now I’m depressed
Suicidal thoughts arise

How can I've been happy?
Then so upset in a blink of an eye
I remember their faces
And I feel nothing for them

Everything’s a distant memory
My own nightmares taking over
I try to find something joyful
All I found was even more terror

How can I tell the people who love
That when night comes
I’m no longer myself
Just like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
I’m a monster that does not feel
Alone and cold, immune to everything
What happened to me?
I want it to stop

But whenever I try to stop
Someone else barges in
I don’t know who it is
But they’re taking over

I try to control myself
Hoping to win the battle in my head
Whether I win or lose
I’m no longer the same

I've changed but not for the better
All the things I've pushed away
Have resurfaced and formed
Now it has personified into my nightmares

Gladly, it only happens at night
But it talks to me during the day
I push back the negativity
Or else it’ll swallow me whole

Who knew it would be like this
I didn't, but that’s what I get
I can never be truly happy
I’ve accepted this much

I’ll face the world with my burdens
Give everyone a smile
I’ll lie my way to my death
Knowing that no one knows the monster inside.
LP Foster Jun 2014
I've always lied to you.
Don't expect me to stop now.
Bitter Heartache Jun 2014
I think Nicole is just in love with me
you said.
Yeah, right. As If I would ever fall for someone like you
I replied.
It was a lie,
Because as those words spilled from my lips
      my heart hopelessly spilled open for you.


and it falls further

Every time you catch my eyes
wandering to your jawline
  
(it is quite often).
Every time you say my name
stressing it in all the right parts
  
(stressing my heart as well).
and
Every time you walk out those doors
and I begin to count the days to when I will see you again
  
(it is 18 days as of now).

Yes. Yes I am in love with you, you're right.*
I whisper.
But you are miles away,
And I am speaking to a memory.
Amber K May 2014
You sick twisted person,
with your hands burning black,
from all of the ashes,
you've left in your tracks.

You and your friends,
you leave nothing but hurt.
Sweet promises made,
trampled in the dirt.

You left nothing good,
just one little thrill.
Not the thrill you want,
just one that makes us ****.

We hate who you are,
and there's nothing we can do.
You're not welcomed here anymore,
We say goodbye to you.

Take your ashes and your sick mind,
your pathetic rants and twisted lies.
Because we'd rather be dead than hear what you say,
We'd rather watch you wither day by day.
Just wrote this when I was in rage mode about someone who hurt me a lot in the past. I have absolutely no feelings left for the person. I just really wish they'd fall off the face of the earth.
andrew May 2014
I've fallen empty again as its Monday night and I'm forced into another word battle with my over bearing and under protective ****** flatmates 
I don't know if I believed drugs ruined souls until I saw your hearts turn to vicodin art projects and your eyes to steel blades 
I thought love was a four letter word with nothing but warmth radiating from its vowels but now I know it to be a cold noun which is to be thrown at me when I'm not wanted in your presence 
Straws are for drinking hot coffee but yours are cut in two's and fueling nostrils with more than caffeine could ever hope to achieve 
Mary Lambert claims she's touched trees with charred limbs but I'm watching two burn out of control and I know the thing about forest fires is that they don't tend to stop
Stop lying that youre trying your hardest to stop competing with caffiene and that your heart will soon again pump clean blood 
We both know that lies and pills go hand in hand and soon each hand will be blue and cold and I sincerely hope you love each other because pretending you'll achieve what you can't possibly desire is a lonely way to go
I havent written in awhile but I needed to vent
Rebecca Scull May 2014
All this time I thought of us lying,
lying together,
lying alone,
trying to protect one another
from the truths created in his bed and home.

Holding me close, i thought it was right.
Letting me go, I only proved him right.

I was just as safe with him
as I was without him.

Sickening.
This is sickening.
i May 2014
if i am smiling,
it doesn't mean
i'm happy,
if i am laughing,
it doesn't mean
i'm happy,
if i am having fun,
it doesn't mean
i'm happy,
it only means
i'm too sad
to do anything else,
besides hide under
masks which include
fake smiles and
a happy soul.
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