I was once happy
Love filled my warm heart
Now I'm lost and jaded
On the verge of falling apart

Why is it hard to smile?
No matter what I do
Cannot stop feeling down
Just can't find joy I knew

Life seemed easy once-upon-a-time
I've been longing for those years
Do not know when I stopped believing in magic
Somewhere along the way it changed to fear

Struggles are strong and neverending
Drowning in dark dismay
Reaching out a hand for help
Days are all black and grey

When I left this grey place eons ago
and the sun turned to water under my feet
the sky spit out seven horseshoes
hitting our heads in predictable defiance
and the sand turned to wind
the laughter to salt
when the world opened up
Was it really my fault?

The walls worn under my feet in the snow
who dares think badly back
the greyness left my dry blind eyes
and the haze was replaced with black
the sun sets on a cloudless skyless day
and rises on forgotten lands of warmth
trying to reach down and touch what it lost
too high up now
We’re all too dead.

A cold and shackled figure,
Hardly a husk of what once would be,
In the mirror it reflects a creature,
No human would ever care to see.

So distant from all other life,
The isolation has become a defense,
From the twisted world of the living,
So filled with overwhelming strife.

Standing solemn, eyes cast to the dirt,
Shackles secured firmly to the rock,
The birds surround his prison to mock,
The exiled being, and his surrender to suffering.

Alas, with frantic flapping they depart,
A gentle hand presses to the imprisoned heart,
The chains turn to sand and drop him free,
Eyes gazing up to his savior to be.

With stars for eyes, and the cosmos for hair,
How did his troubles turn her to care,
As she came down from her heavenly realm,
To bless such a meager, humble life?

He rose to his feet and without thought, mirrored her,
His hand, to her heart,
"This heart is yours, and yours to keep,
Hold it ever close and find love, limitless and deep."

this blue light has grey shadows
you're blue with grey

climbing down and settling with the pebbles and shards of bone

I take the paper from the walls and make stars

One day these grey clouds that linger above
Will give up and allow their rain to fall
The droplets like an echo of my love
A shadow of the leaves that fell in fall

I long to reach up with my hands and grab
Those hideous clouds I wish would crash
Your sign is cancer, the sign of the crab
It seems we are not meant to be, we clash

But I know your eyes, eyes I can't evade
For that I become a slave to that grey
They bear into me as if to invade
I have no complaint, I only say stay

My hearts the flame that you always enrage
Trapping me in passions bottomless cage

Solitude binds the hold within
For transgressions of the past
Sins of tomorrow quite prepared
Under the weight of its inevitable collapse

For so long laying alone
Waiting for what will never be
As times hand passes by
Never is it gracious to thee

For all of the riches I’d trade
For its tender console
The bleakness never leaves
Seems to place its grip around my throat

Yet as you reflect on the past
The memories seem so strange
What was once filled with hope
Now left with a bitter disdain

And as you look forward to future
Every day’s exactly the same
You hope for the best
While you try to stomach the bitter taste

Left behind I seem to be
Never was I really there
Collapsed under this weight
Another victim of its darkened stare

It sure is such a rarity
To have any kind of clarity
In this pall we’re covered with - no verity
Grey is not lit with any prosperity
Only shroud covered lands all in a form of familiarity
Knowing what is covered, but cannot see it’s true identity
Shadows cast through the day of skies so cloudy
A wet mist reminds - there is no remedy
Sunshine does not peek or wink through an atmosphere so gloomy
Dark grey grows over the land walked by one in singularity
Unfortunately, having clarity is such a rarity, a sad insincerity..

In the cold, dark
        of January,
         I remembered
              you
        the most.
  As the chill
      snapped bones
              like branches,
     as the afternoons
   bathed themselves
in gray,
     as the birds
and the backs
      shook,
so did my lips
   around your name.
I'm so happy
     January is almost
over now.

White light from the street lamps shone in from the blinded window.
Everything was grey.
The cold, painted brick wall was all I had.
I held my hand against it as I laid facing on the cheap bed.
I had never felt silence like this.
Grey always felt good.
It felt good in my hand.
It felt good on my skin.
It felt good in my eyes.
I could see nothing else.
The cold brick was all I had and all I wanted.
It was the only moment of neutrality in the loud world around me,
the loud pain inside me.
I thought I would never see color again,
and I was realized.
I did not move.
I sank into the conformity of the moment.
I wasn’t unwanted.
The grey did not care.
It held me in it’s arms and accepted me as I was.
It’s gift to me was the cold brick wall.
The only thing that felt real.
It did not pulse.
It did not live.
It was grey.
I wanted to be grey.
I offered my hand to the wall,
but the grey did not accept me.
It was just there for a visit.
It told me it would come back for me.
I will wait for the wall again.