you're harsh
and harmful,
causing a havoc
out of my life.

you're strong
and demanding,
distrubing my already
****** up mind.

you're insane
and possesive,
crashing and breaking
my heart into pieces.

you're gorgeous
and aggressive,
piercing through
my jumbled mind.

you're simple
and fascinating,
completely destroying
my body with yours.

                                    *but baby, you're all mine,
                                              still only mine.

i feel like **** and ******* do i love it. i drag my self from room to room, my eyes focused on the clocks tock. i don’t hear a knock on the door my feet drag on the floor. my head lays on the desk and thats when i feel my second best. I hull myself to the driver side door wishing i could just throw it in reverse and slam my foot to the floor. but not before i see you come around the corner. i throw up ******* to signal to you that i see you. i just sit and smile for a while till you come around the passenger side door, throw your backpack in the back. were both so tired but when we look into each others eyes there is a shock a spark like art when paint connects with canvas and a masterpiece is made, when your falling in a dream and just before you hit the ground you wake up our bodies are sent a sudden pulse of energy. it truly isn’t enough to describe when happens in my brain the thousands of chemicals responsible for these emotions i can’t name them all. call me a ****** because i am addicted to the high i get when looking in your eyes. i feel Dimethyltryptamine because when i with you i real life seems like a dream. my Dopamine levels are off the chart i can’t control this smile. my Serotonin levels are uncertain because when i look into those eyes i forget the world my movements are awkward and automatic, but while my hands are shaking i am calm in your presence.

Sam
a kiss from your lips, for a brief moment time stopped and i was in a perpetual heaven. i talk to you every night and all i can do is smile and try to hear your voice and see the look of happiness on your face because your smile is the fuel that keeps me going your voice is the oil that keeps me moving. when you hold on to my arm i feel… real. your embrace completes me in more ways than you know. when I’m alone with you and you simply lay in my arms i am overcome with a sense oh happiness i haven’t felt in what feels like an eternity. just as you have fallen from heaven i have fallen for you and all your beauty. when i look at you your eyes they shine like an island of green and brown surrounded by an ocean of blue waves crashing against the shore. what i can only describe as a section of the vast universal dark that is your pupal and everything around it lets me see the entire universe and its wonders all contained in your beautiful eyes. sam if i had the power to change any aspect of you let god strike me down if i ever had the thought of changing what is comparable only to perfection. I want to fall asleep with you wrapped around me i want to wake up to your shining eyes kiss your lips and lay there for eternity. all i can think about is you, you consume my thoughts every hour of every day of every night. i felt lost in the world of love. I always wanted to know if the ****** love songs you hear on the radio are really love, there not. love is looking into the eyes of someone you care for and being able to tell every little detail on her mind read her like a book. when i stare into your eyes i see waves of light conveying every possible emotion expressed in slight movement of muscles in your beautiful  face, the slightest grin says a million words. when we were finally able to express how we truly felt when are lips touched and we both drew back for air, the look in your eyes made me melt. the smile you gave me was unreal i can’t even describe it, all i knew was that i loved you and i saw love in your eyes. sam you are the best thing that has happened to me in ten years. i am not worthy of a girl like you. it feels like i have known you for eternity but not even an eternity is enough to truly know someone with this much character, emotion, experiences, and beauty. i can’t say how happy i am to be on this earth, to sit in my truck with your head resting on my shoulder or to rap my arms around you and kiss your neck, to simply look into your eyes and see something more than a blank stare that just looks past me. I’m not sure what it is that draws me to you so much but what ever it is i thank god for it. i have even given the opportunity to love someone to perfect. all i can say about you is that even though the word love is tossed around way to much these days i can’t think of a better word to describe how i feel about you. i just have to show you how much that word is meant when its used with your name.

She is perfect.
Flawless.
Not like me.
She's able to give you the world.
Every bit of it.
I'm sorry I can't.
I can, however, give you every piece of me.
I'll let you break every inch of my heart.
Over and over again.
She would never annoy you.
She is everything you need.
She has the time.
So do I.
But you can't see that.
God. She's so perfect.
And I'm just.....
Well I'm just a girl.
Caught up in the idea of us.

Soft as snow you lay your body down
and let the rain tattoo pretty patterns all over
your imperfect skin, let it
fill your gaping mouth, and creep like
clear crystal slugs over your nails, exploring all
your forbidden territories and seeping
past your skin. Like a lover,
pitter-patter, the weight of a single word/raindrop
can crease you up.

Pure blue, sleek seal skin you have,
smiling in the sunshine with all the yellow
rays and all the light pink transparent hexagons
sparkling the sky.

Clear as turquoise water stones,
your eyes open and stretch their potential,
lashes all dark and thick and water-splattered.

Softer now you smile. Needles out and
skin soaked in rain and sunshine.

The intensity of the moment builds.
Eventually, a shrill of excitement will fill the room.
And all eyes will be on us, in the rays of light that strike us from the ball room ceiling.

Your hair curls gracefully, and bounces as you walk down that isle.
Your dress wraps around you, accommodating every curve, and every defining feature.
The white contrasts your cherry blossom lips, and your sweet hazel iris.

You are utterly gorgeous.

Though there's one thing...
Just one.
It's all in my head.

You were never mine to be with, and that's the saddest part of all.

You will always be able to have what you want
Unlimited canvases of soft inner thighs and painted lips, curled hair
I saw into you and found that you will always be content
I saw this in the way you slept
Have you ever looked at someone and thought they were too attractive to ever deserve to be sad
Your cheekbones and chest, your arms and back are better than anything specifically crafted
Your words are sugar
Unbleached but naturally craving
Your voice is one of my favourite things
I don't know if I believe you when you call me beautiful
I should be too embarrassed to write you notes
I prefer your blue eyes to the sea and sky.
I would always choose to look at them over the static nature

So many times I've run away from the man you claim to be.
So many times I've hidden from the man you are.
So many times I've cried over the man you were.
Hidden in those depths,
I wish I knew you were in there.
But no longer can I say I do.
I Love YOU.
Correction, I loved you.
I miss you now.
Not who you are, but simply who you were.
I miss the sound of you voice,
the feel of you murmuring sweet nothings in my ear,
you hands on my back,
your arms around my waist.
I want to say I've moved on.
I want to mean it with every ounce of my being.
I want to believe that you love me too.
That you loved me too.
I miss the way you said my name,
the fact that you called me gorgeous.
The small things you did for me.
I loved you,
and now you're gone.