We want to succeed
So we triump when others fail

I'm overcome by lust
A sophistication of the soul
Mind bent in two

Where I try
He betrays
Leaving kisses of sin

The Garden of Eden is open
Left alone without regard
Not a regret echoed in time

When will he come?
My knight of splendor
Germanic and full of crystallized juice

Reality makes him a Spaniard
To whom my life is bequeathed
Under the sun for all to see

My dream of an Arminius is unrealized
Traded for an exotic intoxication
Ready is the introduction of grieve

But still, I love
The lips
Constant touch of angelic purity

Forgiveness is the actor's end
Truce to end entry into the heart
Producing gratification of natural optimism

Too much of a fool
Forgotten and misplaced
Troubled until bled

Where is my bed?
The cushion increasing sedation
Upon my relapse

Frail
Almost skeleton
Reminds me of Auschwitz

Though I'm not a Jew
Or a so-called "deviant"
I'm recast

Believing in the brew
Gulping up the stew
Ready, set...implode

Film is shot
Grainy and poor
Full to the brim with fish

Smelly and grimy
Waiting for the director
To bail from comprehensive casting

His retort is strong
Like a solemn wind
Quiet until the storm

I quit
Remember the time
Forced to sing

I hate acting
Forgetting
Contemplating

It is my curse
Unforgotten desire
My Dunkirk of woe

When will it end?
Upon my cross
Submission without *******

Freewill intact
Instinct going into purgatory
Left to wait for the call

I have to run
Hide
Devise an escape

Hollywood calls
Controls
Beckons for my crouch

Billy Wilde is my name
Focused on terror
I fail to be Brando

Take me away,
To a place of no pain,
A place full of love,
A place full of grace.

Take me to the flame,
Bring me the fire.
Don't want the shame,
Only my desire.

Where is my call,
When is my time?
Why try to stall,
Why try to hide?

Just want to leave,
No one will know.
Wish I could flee,
But I'm stuck in your zone.

Give me the rash,
Give me the burn.
Better than trash,
Better to learn.

Let me try,
Let me fail.
Don't care if I sigh,
Losing my sail.

It may not last,
You'll have to leave.
But I'll still laugh,
I'll still sing,

When I remember the times,
When I still have the dreams,
Knowing the lines,
Recalling the things.

They play in my head,
Like a sweet lullaby.
Everything they said,
Every tear I'd cry.

I'm praying for hope,
Asking for peace.
So I don't grow cold,
Just cause it's me.

I tried
I'm spent
I give up
I relent

I quit
I'll just stop
I can't stand
I just flop

I'm broke
I'm a mess
I've no *****
I regress

I've failed
I won't fight
I'm lost
I can't write