i downed half the bottle
and out my words came
full throttle

i apologise

I get tangled in the brooding nets of my mind
And drown

Every time I reflect on myself
The more I realise I’m somebody else
The real me is somewhere deep down
Drowning inside, screaming for help
However I ignore this & create my day
I live life in many interesting ways
Some say I’m quirky and very strange
Very unique but ****** in the brain
Some say they know the rise & fall of my story
The drugs, the lonely hearts
The regrets & the glory
Everybody knows my name and my fox like personality
The attention itself slowly suffocates me
But when you see me sitting quietly
Looking lost, feeling everything
That’s me saying so long and farewell
Goodbye to my true self
The one I ignored and left to drown

The sun sets as I wrap ten fingers around my neck.
I sink and watch the dayglow leave from beneath.
There's water in my lungs, where oxygen used to be.
I wish I could stop drowning in my own sea.

I didn't hear what you said
But that smile
That smile makes it so easy for me
To drown in a feeling never to come true

I can swim,
   But I'll always

Drown in you..

I sat unbuckled sipping my drink looking at him
Taking in his features as the street lights go dim

His floppy blonde hair and straight white teeth
I liked what I saw, but I want what's underneath

The thoughtful comment about having a good night
A random call because I'm crossing his mind

In reality it will be over soon because school will end
We will move away and on to a new more-than-friend

I'll get a job and he will chase a dream
The only time I'll see him is when I daydream

I'll call once in a while to hear his voice
Making time to hangout won't be my choice

He will be busy with new people and video games
I'll be distracted working learning my clients names

It hasn't yet ended, but I feel the shadow of fate above
I don't want to like him, let alone start to love

Yet, I know the latter will happen only from afar
When I'm old and famous I'll write of him in my memoir

Once my kids are asking me for stories about boys
I'll slip into memories and their voices will become white noise

Thinking back to the night I sat and stared at him
All while knowing I was drowning trying to swim

As I sat unbuckled sipping my drink
I wished I had sipped enough not to think

The sun is drowning
The moon is MOURNING
The next day without YOU
is MORNING

Prickly morning sun strings up
      the hair on her arms as she gazes,
watching the waves bobble and weave and listening
to their dead seashells and shellfish;
       ricketing and momentarily floating.

For a moment, her heart is the ocean.
  Always beating and providing life without
knowing why. She sighs and begins to forget she is lost--
The synthetic shores of everyday life at her backfoot,
   the burning sand ridden with childhood memories.
She slowly allows it to dissapear
and recaptures a piece of her self
                                                            ­  in return;

Belonging to this ocean as much she does the sky it reflects.

Calling, lamenting her name without a word, the ocean
     lullabies her soothing sighs, falling rythmatically now--
Raindrops disinter the clouds and tickle the rythm
     of her pulse. Soft, soft backing instrument to her final
            calling. There is no need to look around again;
  
There is no guard in sight. The prickly sunshine fades
  To ruthless cold air and she walks forward, mouth agape
        and ready

For the ocean to swallow her and recapture her, entombed,
     enwombed forever more.