Grass beneath my feet
and soil in my hands,
tipping.
Your lips on mine,
wrapping me around your fingers
and splitting the silence
with anticipation,
falling.
I keep waiting for the world
to one day become still
but you dizzy and confuse me
as if you are a planet
and I am the asteroid
caught in your orbit.

It's nice to see you after such a Long time apart
Your touch makes all the colors of my skin turn to art
Several nights pass, down this bottom of a glass
I cannot speak my relief to have you in my hands
These first few sips as I bring you to my lips
Make me feel so dizzy, filthy -
This hell is my bliss
Though after much time with ya
I feel nauseous in my boudoir
Maybe my dependence is a hindrance to my brilliance
But I don't know who I am in the presence of your absence

i.

night,
smudged
like the
moon-inks of
mascara,

dark waves,
torn below
the ephemeral
mists of
the sky,

course grasses
scrape the paths.

ii.

in a second
of life,
bulbs with
their pearl-
paper
baubles
nudge
the earth

announce
themselves,
whisper they
no longer
hide in
the cold
that they
never feared
the dark.

iii.

sky of flooding
blossom rests,
whisper of spring
in shadows of
warming isles,
coast of riotous
song sweeping
its way along those
sandy paths.

iv.

boy, we
were here once
before,
so long ago,

i'm dissolving
cloud-like
in love,

memories of
our hearts
their crazy
love, those
emotions like
dance and
desolation.

v.

the emotional
blues of our hearts,
emotion, i will
never forget,
love like a midnight
sea sweeping out,
how i melted for
you, sea, star, night-
cloud of love,
beautiful boy.

Give me that liquid fire,
which burns my throat
and blurs the edges of my existence.

Who made you the centre of my universe?
Because it sure wasn't me.
Do you think that I want my life to revolve around you?
like i'm just a planet orbiting the sun,
A pair of jeans in the washing machine
Or flotsam in a whirlpool.
I don't suppose you'd understand,
How dizzy I get,
after a day around you
Or even a few moments.
How I can't keep my balance
And the world sort of tips
till' everything is inside out
backwards and all mixed up.
Except you.
because for some reason
the only stable thing
in this topsy-turvy world
is you.

my mind is rapid,
too rapid
because you keep running around me in circles
over and over and over

I watch how much ink
it is taking
to immortalize every inch of you,
I see my pens are wasting,
but I purge the contents of
my heart out for you.

Love is morphine for
the hole in our hearts,
do you notice how
light love feels when you
ignore the dark?
Love is morphine for
all our broken parts;

Capsize me, and
somehow,  I'll be
*less dizzy.

The weight,
The strength.

It pushes down, crushing my inside.
I struggle to breath,
every breath 100 pounds are added to my chest.

Pressure builds up,
Dizziness begins,
Anxiety sky rockets.

The room is spinning,
Why is the room spinning?

My legs are shaking, I'm destroying my lip
Why can't I sit still?

Whoa, my head feels funny.
Why did that start?

I'm uncomfortable, I'm shaking.
Does anyone notice? God, I hope not.

The pressure, more intense.
Nausea increases,
My insides twist and turn.

I clench my fists,
Am I angry?
What's going on?

I'm tired...
I feel my heavy eyelids start to pull down.
I close my eyes,

but the room,
it spins faster than before.
My thoughts, my actions, myself...

It repeats
**I am never at peace

The world spins as I breathe
In.
out.
But it will continue when I stop.