A little lie
A little word
And you're put under my spell
You never knew
You never even doubted
That I was telling the truth
You should have known
You didn't even try
You took my words
And believed them every time
I held you in my arms
Until my heart became cold
You never even second guessed
You didn't even try
And came running back to me
Each time my hands reached
To you again
You poor thing
How you must despair
Being thrown around in circles
How aweful you must feel
Being stomped into the earth
Tell me, how does it feel
To be infused into dirt?
I can hear you weeping
From the corners
I can feel you reaching
Towards the pain
So addicting
You can't get enough of me
You must be starving
As I give you nothing but remnants
Nothing but a piece of me
As you hunger for more
I will become your destruction
As you feed off my addiction
It must be so lonely
Always being barely within
Arm's reach
Falling so hard; so fast
Do you really think I would take your hand?

My mind is looking
For an answer.

You.

Me?

I'm not sure anymore. Because,
When I look up, there you are.
And I..... lost it.
Those thoughts that make me - an individual.
Those thoughts that me me - unique.

........... End so quickly - with you in my presence.

My own being - lost.
My own mind - lost.

..........You can be too much.
To many thoughts, emotions, ideas for my being to
Handle.

And I am losing what I need.
Who I need to be.

- One Day, I will not need question marks (?)
One Day, I will not need last minute calls...
- One Day, I will not need confusion
One Day, I will not fall so deep into my delusion
And I will not hold onto a faint, loose, illusive - idea

To be in your presence -
I will, one day, not feel the need to be beside you -
Because I hope.

You're are no longer a hope......

And I will stand with my own two feet -
strong!
I will be planted in my own being, not hoping - for an idea.
I will be brave!

And I no longer wait for strength from other's before I ask it from myself.
I will no longer wait for their question marks to become my ideas of romance.
I will no longer wait for an idea
I will become the idea - of who I am meant to become

So I will never lose again.

It's funny to remember
You loved someone;
The feeling foreign,
Awkward in hand,
Rotting in a way,
But beautiful in yesterday
Or week
Or month, or year -

A decade even -
So far
But not too distant
To remind you
To stay far enough away.

Putting my foot firmly on the pedal
We come to an abrupt,
But expected
Halt.

Wanting to be bored
But suffering with frustration.
The disco tail lights offer a way out
That is not taken.

What hope do we have?
Like sitting on a rock
Its not that bad
But it could always be better.

Steering slowly east
The shadows move
Faster than the grass growing.
Need to check the paint.

Familiar settings
Allow for the tasting of an expected dinner.
Not mundane
Not after this journey.

It only takes 12 seconds to forget your place, to count how many men broke them selves off between your legs.
Now you are so distant and cold.

You may have only been 13 then, broken by this man and his friend.
It scarred your naive soul.

Close you eyes and count to 10 the nightmare creep back again,  this game of hide and seek.

In 2016 many people weep for those famous,we can no longer see. 1000 ways feeling can be

In the air
I wait

I the moment
I listen

And all, falls, so, patiently.
Every, single, moment - there is feeling

I say, all I could, all I could say.
And if you knew who I was, I would not need to explain.

But with this, you, and our slow stops - I feel stuck
Yet, I feel grounded, in the air, around, and lost
To much, all at once.

And my thoughts, my mouth cant describe - if only there was one tick
Time stops, when that feeling
Could sit, and closer, closer......
We came together.

everything's blacked out,
reigning over me are dark clouds,
incapacitated in awe and standing still,
nimbus clouds rain on me as I sleep sound.

lackadaisically waking up,
yawning as I walk outside, finding,
labyrinths of an ideal reality,
enamored with self-confusion and insanity.

roaming around aimlessly,
obfuscated in perpetuity,
maddened and under the weather,
adamantly rejoicing in the sorrowful rain.