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pearl Mar 2020
oh dear
    it seems that i've
lost track of time again
              the days are far and few between
    oh dear, oh dear
                       the minutes have melted together
          so have the hours
                                 i see no difference between
                    a week
                                     a month
                                                          or a year
it is all slow
                       i'm aging yet i feel
                                                       just like i did yesterday
           my watch must be broken
what is time? why are we stuck here? who are you? how did you get here? how did i get here?
Marco Feb 2020
I don't know myself anymore
I am so sleep-deprived
I don't remember what a dream is
I think I live in one

I am so alone
yet you keep me company
I am so sleep-deprived
you think and decide for me

I am not in control
we have ten fights a night
I went straight for your ear
there is no light, no light anymore

I am so sleep-deprived
everything's a copy of a copy of a copy
this is my life - your life?
I am so alone
yet you keep me company

I hit you as hard as I could.
This is about "Fight Club", both the novel as well as its movie adaptation.
Fiona Jan 2020
the
scariest part
is the thought:
am i really here?
please touch me,
let me know i’m here.
purges Jan 2020
my inability to feel
plagues me
defective

the endless lies i live
the conversations in my head
they encircle me

please don't take it personally
i grow colder with each passing day

as quickly as love turns to hate
as quickly as hunter turns to prey

meaningless, empty words
meaningless, empty eyes
crying void
trying to expel

someone else to give me meaning?
no, i'd rather not
i'd rather die inside a hollow life
Orchid T Aspen Dec 2019
He ran from my demons
so I wouldn't have to.

                                      He yearned for more time
                                                     like I should have.
He lived as me.

He broke as me.
                                                          He spoke in me
                                     so I wouldn't have to.

           I didn't tell him he was human.
Orchid T Aspen Dec 2019
Eventually my memory
will lament
in daydreams
//:.
that my pride
was dissolving in my bed,
//:.
that my solace
was pacing vehemently in my head,
//:.
that my martyrdom
was telling me I may recover,
//:.
that my return
was murmuring softly,
//:.
that my fury
was invading my hiding door,
//:.
that my frenzy
was stabbing at my scalp,
//:.

and perhaps my memory
will stutter
as always,
//:.


and I can stack my scabs again.
Orchid T Aspen Dec 2019
Not
It was not her.
//
When she saw me hurting,
she knew it was not her.
//
When she saw me sobbing,
it was not her.
//
When she saw me choking on my breath,
//
when she saw me shaking in shock,
//
when she saw me screaming for an escape,
//
it was not her.
//
I cowered in my skin
and it was not her.
//
And when I was dying,
it was not her,
for once.
//
I stole away from her
her hands
and her broken rage,
//
her sorrow and terror,
her unwavering pain,
//
so that
for once,
she would
not
have to
hurt again.
//
I was so kind,
so for once,
//
it was not her.
Orchid T Aspen Dec 2019
They stand
like I almost did,
look like I almost do,
and speak like I almost have.
'=================='

But they walk from me,
leaving me ugly and bared by my ill name,
without any purchase in the words I have left,
'============================='

and they return to those
who waited for them
to just come back.
'==========='

They become
hurting and healing
in one fluid stroke,
forgetting about
the edge they have always
walked along.
'========'

They are ready to stand next to them
instead of me,
in my stead,
by my heart,
'======='

so I turn back to the mirror
and refuse to let
someone who
doesn't want
to be real again
walk away from me.
Elise Jackson Dec 2019
a seven hour vacation away from conscious life
a seven hour movie presentation
a seven hour time frame somewhere else

how funny it is
that back in 2002 we thought this was permanent
we thought our lives couldn't get any better than this

we were all so wrong
but very right
depending on various ideals

we didn't get the future we were promised
maybe that's a relief
or a panicked thought

no matter what year it is
i still have the same dream
the one i thought about for seven hours a day five days a week

a dream of my freshly washed hair
being dampened once more but by freezing rain
the impending feeling of doom

the goosebumps and standing hairs
the soft lights of the world grazing the snowy clouds
and for those few moments


i felt that i was the only person in the world
AnonPixie Dec 2019
She’s a dark enigma
But only to herself 
She shines such a bright light 
So kind, forgiving, beautiful
Little does a soul know 
She hides so well 
An evercarbon fir
She bares nothing 
Skin, bone, teeth 
So human but so alien 
Disassociating 
The abyss calls her 
Asphyxiates her slowly 
Wraps around her mind 
Taking her away 
She follows the rabbit 
Everything is forgotten 
A lucid life dream 
Everything so tangible 
But left behind 
Infiltration of the mind 
An inward corpse
Walk all over her 
Take advantage
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