My body is just a vessel so don't bother falling for it
I find myself falling out of it every day
The way I keep falling out of love
I didn't know souls could be so clumsy
But I'm sliding on the black ice in my brain
If I'm still there, the ice is melting and I'm filling my pockets with the puddles
The weight of the world is incredible but I float like a balloon
No one's holding on to me and I wish I could see the ground and know what gravity feels like
I hear gravity has a pull
But I've never been pulled toward something before
I just float on
I wish someone could give me a gentle tug instead of just making me their amusement
I'm not all that pretty to look at and I'm better to hold
Tie me to your wrist and I'll show you what we've missed

I woke up screaming with no sound, his greasy hands that touched me in my dreams still linger on sensitive skin.
The School parking lot is full of children as clueless as me, the call comes in and my dog is dying. The phone falls into the passenger seat, I pull out to the highway.
As the children of the sun begin to wake, the speed limit increases and the windows stay down. Neil Young yells his poems and I yell my curses, roll punches at whoever’s listening because I don’t know who to blame besides myself.

It’s not just about the dog, mom.
My life only looks good depending on what angle you look at it.
Through the grained mist that makes up this Monday morning the sun shines through and heats up the sand. I let the waves meet my ankles, soaking the ends of my jeans.
Dropping my head, tears slap the shells. Nothing seems to be working and I miss my dog.
But I can’t watch him die.

And just like all things that die around me, I turn away and head to a beach somewhere. To sit in my underwear and bra beneath the shade of a palm tree and shake with sobs.

may i ask
who gave you the right
to have such power
to ruin my body
to wear my skin
******* freak
stop stuffing my face
you ******* freak
recently its all been blurred
like did you put something in my drink
while i was pretending looking away
i feel so distanced
life feels so unreal
i look in the mirror
i see you impostor
blurred vision making it almost seem like
this is me
a ******* freak

The world is my movie screen,
I’m constantly being reminded,
That I am only a spectator,
In this ****** up life.
My hands are not my hands,
Yet they’re right in front of me.
The thing is, I can never press pause.
I am always on the go.
It’s as if my mind is a separate deity,
Than my body.
I look in the mirror,
And see someone who I know
Is supposed to be me.
However, this fog that constantly
Fills my brain makes me feel as if I am
Walking on clouds, unaware of my steps.
I wish I could see the world in 1st person.
Instead of this bright, oversized world,
That pounds with every step I take.
I feel nothing which means I feel everything.
It’s just all in the inside, constantly building up,
Without notice.
It’s as if I am driving a rental car.
I know how to drive but the car is foreign to me.
The gears work, but they aren’t mine.

Piercing, sun through glass bubble.
I look beyond
Through fog and moss
Curling around my legs
Like vines,
Desperately.

Pull me back to earth of sand and dirt.

'What reality is this?', she giggled.

Before a second had passed,
she had ceased to exist.