Actually scratch that.

I miss the things we planned to do,
The drives
The lunch dates
The lazy mornings watching movies
And how our just woken up tongues would taste.

I miss the memories I hoped to have,
But I guess you didn't think the same

I'm not quite sure what I said,
Why it all turned out this way
Or what caused you to leave me sitting alone in that park.

Maybe it was the alcohol,
Or maybe you were afraid of what might happen.

Either way.
When I looked down at you
That one lazy morning,
Right before you gave up on me,
I wanted you
With all my heart

But in your eyes I saw how apprehensive you were.
I saw the barbed wire around your tongue
And the metal fences behind your eyes I'm not strong enough to climb.

It doesn't help you kept building it higher.

So to make it simple.
When people ask me what's wrong
Because they see the bags you left under my eyes
Or the flesh you took that used to pad my ribs.
I remember how I came home smelling like you
Because we hadn't stopped touching each other for hours.

And I'll tell them,
I had a few late nights
Waiting for a friend to get home
So I knew they were safe.

If we are being honest
I know you will come home,
But I am not your home.
I tried,
I would have done close to anything to be

But I was too weak to climb your fenses
And I cut myself too many times on your sharp edges

If you hadn't left I would have let myself be cut to ribbons.

Do not worry about our march to freedom,
with two steps forward and one step back,
do not worry about the pace that we lack.
Do not be disappointed by the hurdles we face,
as we jump one, another’s put in place.
For we will get there come what may.

Do not be angry about the words that are said,
as we dispel one lie, another is brought,
do not be angry about the myths that are taught.
Do not be daunted by the struggles that lie ahead,
as one fire is dowsed, another is fed.
For we will get there I’m sure some day.

Do not be disheartened by the mountain to climb,
as we climb higher and turn the tide,
do not be disheartened if we slip and slide.
Do not be weary of the journey still to go,
As we walk fast, they walk slow.
For we will get there come what may.

I'm at home when hiking
with rocks, roots, and mud
my knees bend
eyes scan
legs stretch
arms sway in equilibrium

I can climb mountains
my body is strong like the noble firs
for we sip from the same streams
withstand the same sun

once again I
stumble on the
road eternal,

a friend stirs
my embers, I
light up again,

a distant presence
of youth, balance,
calm, possibilities

dance a riotous
rollick within,
hollering, hollering

adventure

I must have super strength.

Because I’m carrying around these
     mountains on my shoulders,

When I know I should be climbing them instead.

But for some reason,

I’ve always been better at carrying pain,
     Than overcoming it.

I guess I just don’t have the strength for that.