do you know the feeling
the twisted tremors
the slippery shivers
that linger in the
pit of your stomach
the feeling that something is wrong
the feeling that you
are left out
messed up
wrong
when you did nothing
and it seems that maybe
if given the chance
you could've done something
been somewhere
accomplished something
but the feeling in the pit of your stomach
only serves to remind you
of time wasted

I wish my heart
Was steel.
I wish it didn't feel

Anything,
Anything at all.


F.Z.**N

It's great and wonderful to go to your                                                                    Prayers on time ...                                                                                                    You are a good person .                                                                                         ____________________

If i had the choice
I would un-know you
And get to know again
Like the last time
I would do the same
And feel the same
And get my heart broken
The same way
Just to know you
And feel that way
For a while  
For just a second
I would be heartbroken a lifetime

Hollow chests and shattered hearts are the equivalent
of birthing babies who cannot breathe,
aching for something that will not be there.

Angry tears and snapping jaws
were born in the same moment
disappointment crawled into your womb
and made a home of your soul.

Loving in hate longs for clarity,
clings to sound with deaf ears,
singing songs about heaven and hell.

Vacant eyes and unstable thoughts
make for nice conversation
with a man that teaches you
how to tie a noose with your words.

Someday im gonna change,
Someday will be the day im free
Someday will be when im needed
Someday im gonna die your gonna die
Someday ill feel alive be today it isnt me
Someday you will want me for me
Someday just isnt here fast enough
                  Someday....

you thought it was so odd last night
you told me that something i had said had hurt you
and i spent the whole evening trying to make it up to you
you kept on repeating it wasn't a big deal and there was nothing to make up for

and it took me until 3:24am last night to realize
you didn't understand.
you didn't understand what it was like to feel so awful due to someone else's unhappiness

when you are hurt i would do anything
make any joke
sing any song
fight any person
to make you happy.

You wouldn't.

or maybe you just lost that instinct when you fell out of love with me