Could I in my own efforts, pick myself up if I were dead?
Could I in my own efforts, heal the wounds which I continue to inflict
Could I in my own efforts, prepare to mend the sickness for which I have no cure?
Could I in my own effort, become the person I want too, but don't have the means to become

Could I in my own efforts, harness the power and the strength that I simply do not possess on my own
could I possibly in my own efforts, conquer something in my past that I have failed to over come

The answer is elegant yet most simple, of course I could not!
Could I in my own efforts fall to my knees
Could I in my own efforts, weep and lay still
Could I in my own efforts, move not one inch
Could I in my own efforts, utter a cry for help
Could I in my own efforts be liberated?
Not without a liberator good and strong to break down the gates
And I ask myself will I call for such liberation

The answer has come when I fear I shall not be liberated.
And so in my state I confess that I, am in need of a liberator

I try avoiding emotions.
I'm a criminal,
and they're bounty hunters.

I fear my mind.

They chase me down.
Syrens echo from behind,
pinning down thoughts
with "love" on their badges.

God forbade happiness.
I took a chance
and ran through the storm.
He threw lightning and fire down the road
but didn't stop me.
I said,"To hell with it";
the clouds finally parted
and bade,"Amen."

The sun was brighter.

I talk to an owl
who's more than a friend.
Our youth's gone with the wind.
He doesn't know how much this means.
****, it might be too late.

That never bothered him none.

Visions come and go
with Hollywood scandal and rumor.
And I envision peace
like the millenial I apparently am.
I ask myself,
"Who do I think I am?"

Another man gets shot
and services air on the news.
The uproar gets absurd.

We burn dinosaurs
and holes in Purgatory.
Now we live in digital Hell
but there's no place like home.

Confrontation takes zen
and throws it to the dogs.
It runs through my mind like,
"Who do you think you are?"
Must it come to this
every time I think?

My afflictions may never be heard.

The madness, the darkness has come seeping in,
once again I am burdened with my sin,
The thoughts, they swirl in a crazed tempo,
beating against my skull with the desperate fury of a dying heart.

I am drowning under a tide of pensive dispair,
Struggling to even gasp for air,
Oh! I lament my own awareness,
my jealousy is reserved for the blind.

Surely, I must be mad!
How could I not be with such anguish I am clad,
One true question remains.
Will I fade, implode, or explode with such force as to devastate my own?

Run! My darkness is no longer a flame lazing,
but an inferno blazing,
We all have our afflictions, mine is thought.

Gas tank never completely full
Dishes unwashed
Time and its manifestations
Is the affliction that plagues any millennial
She is present, and waiting
Ready to peel her skin at a moments notice
Rhythmic finger tapping on a diner table
Sipping iced tea and always looking out the window
Neither down nor forward, just up
While uncooked ham
In the form of a human sat opposite her
“I wish others cared” she sighed apathetically
“I wish other scared?” he inquired. He knew that he heard wrong.
“No, I can make that happen already.”
A pause swallowed them both
“I’m leaving”
“Why?”
She answered, her countenance
An opened Venus fly trap
“I’m hungry”

You say you love me,
But you won't hold my hand.
You say you'll love me,
But you'll run and not look back.
You say you've loved me,
But you never want to dance.
You say you'd love me,
But not for who I am.
You said you loved me,
But I know you never have.

There was a voice in my head,
Someone was screaming really loud;
I heard the voice from a distance,
I could barely make anything out.

I heard a voice at a distance,
The voice was mine, and it screamed;
I was screaming ****** ******,
I had murdered who I used to be...

Is this when it starts?
or has it already begun?
does it take one more?
or just this one?

One isn't so bad,
its the only one I've ever had,
another shouldn't do any harm,
so there really is no cause for alarm,

Well now that I've had two,
What's one more going to do?

People say don't give in,
it'll **** you in,
It'll tear apart your life limb from limb,


But I feel fine,
I'm completely okay,
I can just quit any day,

I can control myself,
I don't need to quit,
I'm not like the other people
who lose their life to this ****,

But now that I'm already in so deep,
without it I just cant sleep,
I've run out and I need more,
so in the middle of the night I go to the store,
I spend what little money I have left
just so I can get a decent nights rest,
I wake up and I do it again,
Is this how my life will be til the end?

Scrapping for change to buy another pack,
hack at my skin because I just need another,
my brother telling me I need to change,
but I'm deranged by this demon of ash and charcoal,
burning a hole inside of my soul,
and now I meet death in the face of my affliction,
my demon.
my addiction.

I’m crashing.
I have chills down my spine
As I flash to that night
Where I was soaring
On top of you.

The withdrawals have kicked in
And my mind can’t seem to turn off.
Up
And
Down
Until I have reached
Euphoria.

I keep blaming you.
Why did you give me that hit?
Just enough to keep me as the beggar
On your corner.
Your prime customer.

But it isn’t your fault.

It is me who is addicted,
to boys afflicted.

When dreams become
nightmares that
twist in the brain,
how long can love
in the heart remain?
Will nothing ever
quench the flame
or fill the
lonely spaces?
As always it's you,
the affliction
and the cure.