You're dead

there was so much we could have done
so many streets we could have walked down
but now we can't, we never will
because you are dead

I told you I loved you
and you said you loved me too
but you're dead
and now you are in a vase on a shelf
surrounded by pictures of the good old days

We could have walked hand in hand
up mountains and through forests and up and down hills
we could have seen it all
there is so much more to do

there was so much more to see...

but you're dead


and I hate it

I pull the curtains over tight so the
sticky light will not let in the morning.
I miss waking up in Europe with the
strange European light coming in pouring
in the narrow windows of Dutch Tower
houses or busy Berlin apartment
streets with kebabs cooking and kids crying
the stillness of frosty Dublin suburbs
in the winters and the bite of the air
on bare cheeks and knuckles and the eerie
sound of invisible birds and clock towers belling on Sundays resonating in the crystal air.

And I start thinking about all the things I never did which is sometimes worse than thinking about all the things I have done

Soulmate: the person you are destined to be with; the person that loves you no matter how hard they try not to; the one person that you cannot stop thinking about; The One
But how do you know when you meet them? is it when people say you're the cutest together; or is it when you cry the moment your mind goes wondering to the dark places and you lose them in those thoughts; is it when you plan out your whole life with them, only to be hit with reality

you never really know

It could be when you are five and have a crush, and then later meet them again when you're 20; it could be when you have been married for 30 years and still get butterflies as if it was the first date

you never really know

is it when they drive over to your house amidst a blizzard and brings you chocolate; when they stay up all night, just so if you happen to wake up they are there for you. Or is it when every little thing reminds them of you

you never really know

You are easy to love
You make time for me
You are generous with your affection
You communicate your feelings for me without hesitation
You openly and honestly share your thoughts with me
You are curious about me
You want to know who I am and you want to know why

I can’t express how much this makes me feel loved and adored
The way you love me makes me want to be better for you
You have reached into my soul and pulled out emotions I have never felt
You spark my imagination and challenge me to explore new adventures
I hope I never have to wake from the dream you have given me
I want all of you – your laughter, your pain, your passion, and your heart
I promise to never take for granted this easy connection – intimate, honest, and rare

NO FUTURE

Before when I was a little lad I used to say in the future I'd achieve everythang I ever dreamt of becoming everythang I desired shall come for me.
But age made me realized that I been dwelling in the future,
Every moment
is a future, explore the adventure (s)

There's no future but moment, therefore cherish each and every moment of life, spending time on positive vibes which mothered a prosperous life of elation."
#c9_fm

Death calls to me from time to time
Sometimes, I even slip on its slime
It reminds me of the stinging shards in my heart
It reminds me of how close it and I are apart
Softly, it whispers in my ears at night
“Only I can help you take flight
In this life, you go up this mountain every time
Just to fall down, that won’t happen with my slime
Every night, you cry yourself to sleep
Hiding your true feelings, oh so deep
If you call this life, how can I be any worse?
If you accept me, I can give you rest
Don’t you also think this is for the best?”
Then, I sit still and listen to its reasoning
But then I answer, after listening and thinking.
“Death, I climb this mountain because I must
When I fall down, it does wound my heart’s crust
But more than anything, I learn
With every loss, I earn
With every tear, at night
There is another bright light
For every time I hide
I find a better place to abide
If you are silence, peace, and rest
Life is adventure, which I like the best
So please stop knocking on my door
Stop pushing me to the floor
Because I will not let you in
I will get up after you think you win
As long as I breathe
I am not going to leave.

You surround me like an open sea
I'm barely alive above the water
but I know I'll be sinking soon
once again,
engulfed and swallowed whole
by Your merciless waves
but I'll emerge damp and breathing
waiting to sink again

I can’t help but wonder if we have crossed paths
Over and over again, tangling each hello
Catching a hint of mischief when we first bumped into each other
And how easy it was for us to slip into
Conversations, plotting to take on the world
But first things first, we have to catch the moon
And hold the stars ransom in our back pockets
I swear we were pirates singing sea shanties
And conquering cities, but now we settle
For late night dance parties, and one shot, two shot, three
And sure, we are invincible, and I can’t help but wonder
If we have crossed paths over and over again
Our stories layering, life long friends
Or maybe arch nemeses, and each time
Tagging out a new adventure
Where we are chasing after each other
I swear we were renegades, young rebels
Questioning authority and pushing boundaries
Now, we collaborate artistically
Broadcasting in a world of social media, one shout, two shout, three
And sure, we are strong, and I can’t help but wonder
If we have crossed paths over and over again
Our history repeating, kindred spirits
Or maybe pieces of the same soul, and each time
We meet, we find a part of ourselves
We had forgotten

I Fair thee well
My travelling friend
For time is restless
And we cannot pretend,

In days of fire  
Through tears and wrath
We lived! we lived!
And now we laugh.