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photovoltaic May 2021
hide myself in my home territory
my castle, palace, defending me from outside threats
bury my sadness beneath friendly banter
inside jokes, my family i made in this virtual space

but the one i long for isn't here anymore-
"sorry, our princess in in another castle"
someone i can tell secrets to, someone i can be real with
let go of the mask of comedian and spill an ocean of tears

and the cracks in the foundations and walls are showing through.
everyone is broken here, hiding their sadness with laughter
we're supposed to be a family,
but we can't show weakness to each other

dms are always open, we say
but once we spill just a single bucket of that ocean
everything online can be screenshotted.
my discord server is full of happy memories, until you realise the community there is merely hiding tears
title is the name of it
techno, george, antfrost, bad.. sorry.
photovoltaic Mar 2021
youre here but youre not
im not lonely but im alone
this is the best i can get
i can see your smile, your eyes
your beautiful appearance
but its still not enough
i want you here in my arms
the country borders that separate us
this facetime call
its not close enough
i wish i could meet up with you in real life
but we live on opposite sides of the globe
photovoltaic Mar 2021
its cold outside and i can't sleep because of you
keep me addicted to my phone, lonely but not alone
its 2am for me, because of these **** timezones
letters against a bright screen, squint my eyes against the light
my eyes are burning, i think im slowly going blind
hopeful messages promising to one day meet up
slip that engagement ring onto your finger, a binding promise
to find you, see you, kiss you, hold you in my arms, in person

not knowing if the other is perfect

~risking ruining your perception of me

because here behind my screen you think i'm everything

~but im bound to disappoint you like i always do

i want to marry someone ive never met

~is this something i'm going to regret?
i started dating this boy online ive never met irl
idk how this is going to work out
but i want this to last... is this an impossible fantasy or no?
photovoltaic Feb 2021
i used to breathe you in like the air i needed to survive
now that you've left, i never got used to breathing normal oxygen
so i put on this mask
to filter the air
so i can breathe independently
and muffle the sobs and screams in white fibrous fabric
that's why i wear that mask all the time.
i still miss you. you dont know who im talking about, trust me.
photovoltaic Feb 2021
i wish the world was still an adventure
step through the portal, in search of new worlds
to make fresh memories with old friends

now i stare at the treasures ive collected over the years
rusted and broken, clockwork falling apart, blade dull
legacy of once glorious days.
adventure, JJD
i miss you, and the life we created together
photovoltaic Jan 2021
I'm not melodramatic,
I'm just pragmatic
beyond any
for thinking I've
got ******* rabies,
or something.

I think this time
i'm dying.

I think i've
lost my mind.

Blurring the fact and the fiction
Whilst simultaneously
myself up
with a girl
named panadol

Bite the tablet, elixir
Mouth's a mixer

I think this time
i'm dying.

Saline solution
to all your
yea that was such a good pun i couldn't help it
the reason i have been dead is cuz I'm drawing
cya I'm probs not gonna come back here for a while lol
photovoltaic Dec 2020
Instead of choosing wings to soar through the sky
We chose our hands, together, intertwined
We are still so fascinated by the sky
Why is simply dreaming considered such a crime?

The summer watches autumn from a distance
And I imagine what its appearance may be
Is  it full of admiration, full of love?
I realize that our future is impossible

Summer rains drizzle water droplets everywhere
Sunbeams filter through the leaves, named komorebi
So many years before you introduced your name,
Was it really you? I question to this day.

Today is once in a millennium, when gravity falls asleep
Let's stand in the sun's blind spot and leave planet earth behind
We'll aim for a place where it can't reach us, when it opens its eyes
On three, let's stamp our feet and float away from here

Let's go
Let's go

Hearts that are frozen in winter bring the summer close
In the midst of this dizzy scene, you're the only one who slows
Since meeting you that day, my nightmares disappear
I waited tied by gravity, now let's make it real

Today is once in a millennium, when gravity falls asleep
Jumping to the sound of fireworks, let's fly out of here
We'll aim for a place where it can't reach us, when it opens its eyes
On three, let's stamp our feet and float away from here

Let's go
Let's go

Just a bit farther beyond destiny
Just a bit after civilization (Let's go!)
Just a little bit farther beyond destiny
Just a little bit farther,
So let's go

We'll hoist these sails, filled with our dreams
Crossing the night for the day we await
Fulfil this with nothing but our hopes and fantasies
Put our arms around each other, we'll make it work somehow

It doesn't mean, we're not afraid,
but this is unstoppable
Although we tried, to save the day,
but this isn’t worth it all

Our love says, — a voice speaks,
It says to- "Just go!"
These are singable English lyrics I wrote for the OST Grand Escape from the movie Tenki no Ko "Weathering with You". The original lyrics are not mine but this version is.
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