he was the best thing
to ever happen to her

but that never meant
they would last

for just like bouquets of roses
even the best things wilt

s.s

im sorry
but i love him
although it's not what you want to hear
that boy
to me
is ever so dear

s.s

i miss you
oh god i miss you
every **** night
and the hard part is
i know i shouldn't
you weren't good for me
i am better off without you
but i still miss you
oh god i miss you
every   ****   night

s.s

this world is a hurricane
throwing me left and right
tearing me limb from limb
but your arms
are the eye of the storm
a safe haven
my calm
in the midst
of life's mess

s.s

i don’t want to just be your friend

i want to be the person you wake up to in the morning

to kiss your body on bad days and make you feel good when you don’t

i want to tell you to come home rather than come over

to be the girl you tell your friends and family about

to drive with the windows down listening to you sing your favorite songs

i want to get high with you on lazy sundays then make breakfast in our underwear

i don’t want to just be your friend
i want to be one of your best friends you fall in love with

s.s

you dont ******* care
i wish i felt the same
one day soon i swear
i will forget your name

s.s

could i hold you
one last time
before this love of ours
truly dies

s.s

every time you touch me
or i feel you close
it drives me ******* crazy
more than you would know

s.s

hating you
hurts my heart
but loving you
obliterates it

s.s

she never had a favorite color
always finding beauty in every shade
and when asked her favorite color
she simply spoke in a daze

"the greens of summer grass
bright and welcoming bare feet

the golden yellow of evening sun rays
how they dance across the sea

the deep red of fresh cut roses
brought to lovers doorsteps

the pale pink of early morning skies
the orange and scarlet that melts with it"

she had so many favorites
until she met him

for the second
she caught a glimpse
of his light eyes
that made even a clear ocean
seem mundane
she undoubtedly knew

her favorite color was blue

s.s

he had found a girl a while back
to fill the space i left
and now that he's the one who left
i finally understand why
because another boy
might rid my mind of you
and the taste of his skin
might make me forget yours

s.s

i know
how to love
like i know
how to breathe

it's being loved
that feels like
gulping water

s.s

this wasn’t my choice
it doesn’t feel real
it doesn’t make sense
but that’s just how you feel

i didn’t want this to end
but that’s not for me to decide
i understand it had to happen
although a part of me has died

i will be out of your life
and this can really end
i will always be there for you
but right now i can’t be your friend

so i will stop writing about you
because i’ll only think about it more
it’s pathetic i already miss you
i guess it’s time to close the door

s.s

i've been flirting with death for too long
and my heart aches for him to take my hand
for his marks already linger at my wrist
so the least he could do is hold them

s.s

i am learning to love myself
like he never could
and darling
i can feel flowers
growing from my scars
reaching for the sunshine
of my new found smile

s.s

the gold trapped in my dark eyes
could make flowers grow
but the rain and crystal water in yours
could make them flourish

s.s

i will probably still think of you
with my brains across the wall

s.s

i rather be high off pain pills and *** than memories of us that are only that;
memories

s.s

maybe we should keep our distance

hearing your laugh was hypnotic
and i forgot how it made me feel
i forgot how your voice sounded
how it eased my heart beat
but also got it racing
i forgot what you looked like when you laughed
how just seeing that made me happy
i forgot what is was like to hear about your problems
how just hearing you talk would rid me of some worried thoughts
i suppose i made myself forget about you
but hearing you say "i miss you"
brought tears to my eyes
because frankly
i miss you too
and i forgot how much i did
how much i still want to be with you
how much i still love you

but what i didn't forget
is i can't have you
you are far gone
unattainable
and of course
those were just your drunk thoughts
you are in love with her
i am just your friend
and we are over
i did not forget that
it just doesn't change how i miss you

s.s

at some point in time
you have to stop

stop being sad
heartbroken
and as blue as the tears you cry

because the icecaps are melting
and the seawaters are rising
and every tear you shed
is drowning us

none of us can stay afloat
in weeping waters

s.s

i may fall
with pretty people
who whisper sweet nothings
in between bed sheets
as soft as their skin
pressed bodies
to help forget
but i will fall
in lust
not love

s.s

how do you let go
of someone you've fallen for
when you don't want to

s.s

just a friend
that holds my heart
and should rightfully know it's his

just a friend
that is playing it smart
and knows how hard this is

just a friend
as we restart
a friend i love that is

s.s

a little liquid courage
and foreign places
i dabbled in the art
of being flirtatious
slip on my sun dress
and smile wide
friendly introductions
and darting eyes
this feels like a game
and i'm a tease
but at the end of the night
let's have fun, won't you please

s.s

i was willing to give you
every piece of my heart
every morning
continuously surrendering my soul
at the soles of your feet
so simply imagine
what i will be able to do
for the one willing to stay.

s.s

love yourself
get lost
in your own eyes
let any tears
that touch your cheeks
turn your lashes
to gardens

s.s

be with the one who sees constellations on your skin and treats you as the brightest star in the sky
be with the one whose arms feel like home and you’d run to drunk in a room of everyone you’ve ever loved
be with the one who is satisfied with just your company and needs nothing more from you but your presence
be with the one who does everything in their ability just to make you happy and doesn’t let you go to sleep sad
be with the one who distractedly traces your skin just to remind them that such a wonderful person is not a figment of their imagination
be with the person that restores your faith in true love and good people
be with that person because they are not common and never let them go

s.s

you don’t hurt someone
you wish to keep in your life
you treat them with care
like a precious gem
because you know
their true worth

s.s

when i lost myself
it truly hurt the most
because how do you heal
when you are the ghost

s.s

he may have broken her
but her eyes will still glow golden in soft sunlight
even if her cheeks are stained with tears

s.s

i wish to carry such strength
that even gravity
will be utterly amazed
at how well
i keep all of my broken pieces
together

s.s

this is all my fault
this mess of life before me
this is all my fault

s.s

he looked perfect
sprawled across the bedding
watching her walk across the room
slowly
methodically
taking him in
from where his hands ran through his hair
as his chest rose with every breath
to the muscles across his body
and his legs dangling off the bed
as he gave her a devilish grin
waiting for her to come closer
he looked perfect
and she stopped in her tracks

s.s

i don't want an easy stroll
into happily ever after
i want a passion
that will fight through anything
for the good ending
we deserve

s.s

love isn't always enough
to create a happy ending

i am feeling good
i am not crying
it could be what's in my veins
or i could just be lying

all i know is i feel weightless
numb and entranced
whatever i am taking
makes me forget this broken romance

s.s

willing to take anything
to make the hurting
stop
pop
a pill
till none of this feels real

s.s

in all honesty
i would rather you hate me
than what you are doing now

i would rather you forget me
and pretend like you never knew me
than what you are doing now

i would rather you scream till i sob
and yell till your throat goes raw
than what you are doing now

because now you use affection as a weapon
and continue to keep my heart in possession
yet never really give me yours

you only come to me when you need something
and i can't say it's anything but crushing
knowing i'm nothing to you

what you are doing is just plain cruel
the pain you’re inflicting is utterly brutal
yes, i honestly wish you would hate me

s.s

love is patient?
love is kind?
love is the most beautiful load of ******* i've ever encountered
and it is only kind
until it is gone
then my dear
love is haunting

s.s

at some point in time
i thought losing
the one i called mine

was the most painful loss
i could endure
until i was laying
on my bedroom floor

shivering and numb
head twirling, screaming
like a broken album

it's at four in the morning
when i still haven't slept
with god knows what in my system
completely unkempt

that i could see now
losing myself
was far worse somehow

s.s

intoxicated
it's easy to forget you

sober
you're all i think about

clear choice isn't it?

he's been through hell and back
so i vow to be his heaven
an angel in his eyes
i will defeat all of the demons

s.s

i need help
before i help myself
because my helping hand
is only leading me to hell

s.s

i wonder
if you still think about her
if you wish she was here
if you want what you were

if in the early hours of the morning
it's her in your head
her name on your lips
wanting her in your bed

as you silently look her
up
and
down
in your dreams
i know it must happen
it can't always be me

s.s

i can't stop picturing
you
with
her

your bodies together
whispered forever?
a secret endeavor

tell me the old tales
follow the tear trails
spare me the details

maybe i rather know
memories are painful though
maybe i should let it go

comparing myself
to herself
with yourself

i can't stop picturing
you
with
her

s.s

*******
for turning into murky water
with riptides keeping me in
when i know
crystal blue seas
run just below the surface
and they're calm
where i would willingly swim

s.s

she forgot how good
it feels to forget

s.s

my elated grin shows my pleased heart beat
my world my everything my dear lover
with you i do believe in lust so sweet
something i never thought to discover
whiskey gin and wine all heat up insides
none compare to how you melt a stiff heart
eyes of blue calm this though like ocean tides
grin of warm glance of cool are just a start
mind like rivers twisting and unbroken
strong and balanced he withstands all of it
calm and collected with chaos within
in the dark it is only light he’ll omit
i admire all that he is and more
i love my dear more than ever before

i am not a helpless girl
drowning is a sea
of her own sadness
but i have been holding my breath
for too many years
my eyes sting
my ears are popping
my lungs are collapsing from the pressure

please
let me breath

s.s

i am
hopelessly
in love with you

you could burn my whole world to the ground
destroy everything i live for
and i would still seek shelter
in the oceans of your eyes

maybe that's why i let you break my heart
and why i'd let you do it again
if it meant you'd hold it for awhile longer

i am just
hopeless
and hopelessly
in love

s.s