I received a gift from You
Said put it on your tongue
And let the buds bloom under it
More loudly they will hum
Just set it there in bitterness,
Collect the final rinds and wait
As lines that swirl in splendor now
Had at one time seemed straight.

A minute was an hour,
And an hour was a day
A day; another lifetime
I prayed not go away
Laughter rumbled floorboards
Love left broken bed boards
Lights that we would swarm towards
Restless, winged, creatures

Safe behind a window pane, we watched
The night sky coolly whisper, icy breaths
Which formed in fractals, spiny crystals  
And wrapped up in my old fur coat,
We scoffed upon the thought of which that
Anything so beautiful could pierce the beating Heart.
Just gazing out, We longed to pluck the sky of
Glowing diamonds, floating in a cape of silken royalty

But from below the light came creeping
Spite unwieldy, slinking to the ceiling, chaos
Minds quite far from sleeping, barely
Blinking where our bodies stiffly lay.
Exhaustion shuddered eyesight, as the
Pixelated daylight pierced, the dilated
Membranes of our souls screaming in pain.
The heat which kept on rising, swarmed around two bodies writhing,
Undermining was the timing of which walls could melt away.

Now we huddled in the corner where
The brightness could not reach us, so that
Oozing walls could not drip and release to us  
The flesh-eating elixir that on contact steams and sizzles
Away dreams before it fizzles away skin and sanity(s),
I looked to you, but no relief, these thoughts they weighed too heavily
Alone as panic smothered me, I might not make it safely, I said
“Look at what you’ve wasted, see, this place it has a face, and it is radiating red!”

I grabbed the nearest pen, to write
My Will upon the sill, you watched
Bewildered by the spill of thoughts
Now bleeding on the windows, walls
And mirrors- they too feared what
I had geared in ink that seared into
These cavern walls of which we washed away the years in.
Now looking for those marble stairs, with the hope to disappear..

Blind and ******, eyes they looked to you for hope
But felt the desperation float upon you, like
An invitation to unravel once and all.
Epiphany. The world you had created
Had been only weighted by
Your precious need for company.
And in that thought, you handed out the gift to me
No second plot, beyond that of companionship and misery.

Ruined, longing, needing wanting,
Leaf-like fairy decomposing
Watching lit up eyes stare loathing
At the guilt that was awakened.
Once a world pastel and fuzzy, buzzing
With A lovely light that bouncing, wildly
Let sight see beneath a veil of pleasantries.
Up you stood without a single glance behind
you crossed over the final line - from which the gift was given.

Trailing my past mistakes
Wondering if a heart still breaks
Digging up the wrong-found
Rip it From the ground

Uprooted, exposed and bare
Is there a soul left to care?
Underneath the sheith
I don't want to breathe

I won't, I won't, inhale
I'll play this world to scale
Let it toss my breath
Into an untimely death

Who wants to feel unwanted
Who wants to feel forgotten
Who wants to feel
Jump-This world's a wheel

Do you want to hear "recover"?
Some don't.

I like being Alone, I think.
With the prospect of new people
Coming and going
Coming and going
Alone, not as dismal
Because Alone in the eyes of fear
Casts quite a different shadow
Fear is unknown, unsettled, unrest
Alone is learning, growing, comfort
But when you let those
Come and go
Come and go
With an open mind, open heart -
Alone, never
You'll never be alone
So, Alone, stop feeling the pity
Feel the strength that guides
A definition to be changed
A meaning to be blissful
On the cusp of an awakening
Alone, we're never lonely
As we know exactly who we are.

Off to see your Father
To the city on a train
Left me at your cozy cabin
At the end of Iroquois lane

At the time it was long distance
And I'd been here once before
You had told me you'd be quick
Turned around and closed the door

Now alone in your apartment
I had not much there to do
Thought perhaps I'd go out shopping
And I'd bake a pie for you

Walking to the corner store,
I had smiled to myself
Thinking how surprised you'd be
To find the pie upon the shelf

With the sun going down
I got running quickly back
Less cozy was this place at night
Your cabin, now a shack

I peeled the apples, mixed and mixed
And hummed myself a tune
Placed the pie in the oven
Thinking you would be here soon

And to the clock, tick-tock tick-tock
I found myself more bored
Opened your freezer, for some ice-cream
And then found candy you'd stored

I gazed like a child
At this in front of me
For those may not know,
I am weak for Candy

I grabbed a handful of sour-patch children
frozen solid they lay in my palm
I went to the sofa and turned on a movie
Your absence no more an alarm

As I chewed on and savored the sweet little morsals
Watching Pixar's A bugs life
All a sudden the colors grew louder
Pixar's pixels were sharp like a knife

I giggled and giggled,
not phased by the shift
of my boredom
into such sweet bliss

I got up to go out and sit on the porch
An urge to smoke and call your phone
I noticed the shadows of willow trees looming
And suddenly felt not alone

After getting your voicemail,
I paced back and forth
I went in the bathroom
and I laid on the floor

The lights were pulsing
And I started to fear
That the timing was late
And you still were not here

I peeked out the doorway
In search of your car
But nothing and silence
Engulfed by the dark

The TV grew louder
I ran to turn it down
And suddenly noticed
Color trails all around

My knees suddenly buckeled
I knew what I'd done
It was drug infused candy
And I ate every one

My heart started beating
to the floor I was bound
Put my hands out to figure out
Which drug I had downed

I called 10 more times
but your phone had died
I turned on the shower
And sat down inside

Of what I ingested
It was one of two things
Either Acid or Molly
Acid - I see color rings

Then more fear kicked in
And I though of the worst
Had you been abducted
Did they get to you first?

A drug induced rampage
I grabbed up my phone
Called 2 of your friends
Crying you were not home

Then I called my sister
Told her you'd disappeared
You got murdered on the streets
Of New York I had feared

Then you came home
And saw me a mess
Well this was most certainly
A test

I couldn't speak I just cried
You held me, as I lied
I said I was concerned for your safety
You said: I was gone but an hour.

You’ve got a hold on me
My insides, suspended
Discomfort awaits at the slightest turn
Suffocated by your tightened grip
I wait for the snap, desperately
Wanting to unravel
Gasping to the floor
The cold surface lends no comfort
Icy bones rattle and ache
Fighting against your tireless weight
Let go let go
Why won’t you let me go?

The mind is is planted and nourished with the soul
We grow despite ourselves and root deep to the stable ground where it is Safe
Though wantingly, we reach up towards the sky so desperaty I've thought-
Why root outselves when it's the sun we want?
But I have perched on many limbs brazen in the light, to know the sun does fiercely scorch those trespassers who come too close
So down again to land a sturdy mount, and up I look again in wonderment to what's untouchable.
The earth I stand; the medium of two strong forces, safely holds me, where the shallow warmth of light breathes softly from the sky-in the peace I stay where there's solidity of life, from where I kiss the forces in the sky. With certainty,  cradled in my safety nest; a hammock of sand and dirt so restful, gives me solitude to wander into dream about the stars

I left a world
To go away - away
From everything - even you
With the open arms and big eyes
Yes, you - I left you too

Freedom brings brilliance
It brings fear I never knew
I had - I had it all along
I took it - I took it all

Hard to be alone, when
Alone is small, smaller
Than I've ever known
Away - I go away

Does it even matter?
Pastimes, worse times
You were - wrong
I am okay, clean

Washed of all them
Demons that thought
They knew. They spoke
Like bibles in a telephone game

I changed, undoubtedly
But so did you.
Warnings never hit
From this part of space

Now I feel it.
The blade of your dishonor
Shoved in my spine
In this world, this place

Is no different

The World is so much bigger, better
Than any of you who doubt that
Existence itself is worthy of life
god forbid it is unpleasant.

Let’s make a name out of this place
And put it on a plaque that reads:
Someday you’ll make the same mistake
But that You can make it better

A little bird set to fly
Away unto the distant sky
Dream little girl, dream
Perched on a wire, with a smile

Didn't the man tell you you'd make it
Weren't you surprised you got this far
Take all of the simple past, and deny it
And stuff it ALL in a jar

Defy the doubts that held you back
Naw at the ropes that tied you tight
Wriggle free and run far away
Tumble like the weeds on a southern night

Find a place of sunny skies and waves
Carry yourself like the free one
Lay your body in the hot hot sand
And tell yourself you've found sun

California coma, what's it mean to be awake
Run your little legs through the waves
Tell yourself you've found it again
Say goodbye to the future graves

Light light darkness
The sun sets in the west, you know
Did you really think you'd escaped
weight creeps upon your chest

Take your dose, little darling
Sleep, sleep, sleep
Your dreams won't sew
The fears you reap

Casual, like a first name
Like a flame, you'll wither and die away
In a trace of sand with a tide to blame
Keep it neat, keep it flat
Let's keep it just as that

I cant look in the mirror
At 25, I'm not alive
I cannot see things clearer
I’m more clouded, more unwise

I’m saddened by the future
I’m troubled by the  past
And as for the Present,
I fear it just won’t last.

My life itself is a shadow
I can't ever leave
A ****** nose, a broken bone
It's memories that bleed

I want to welcome you to chapter 6!
This show has gone on far too long, but wait- there’s so much more!
Let’s recap chapters 1-5:

Racism
Sexism
War
Drugs
Natural disaster

Chapter 6 will cover: Disease

...stay tuned folks!  

(And stay safe folks...
We are all going through this.
They don’t want me to engage,
But we are being torn apart
If I were you I’d love as long as we can
The chapters exist because hate does
End it at chapter 6...chapter 7 is unfathomable).

You that heavily sits in somber
Wondering what it was that Life should put you here
Perhaps just a smudge of black by the Artist
Who hastily concealed your mark with thick pallets of red and gold

I saw you hanging from my last thread
I wondered whether it fate that would play this game
Those hardened eyes bore holes through me
And out poured all the pink & sticky parts
That you caught it in a jar

Cover with a lid.  You watched the fight for air
Bursting up Buzzing, hastily colliding against glass walls
Then Flickering, fluttering, til’ downwards, swaying
It finally died.

You on my last thread, I would never think of such an end
Sudden lightness topples my perch
And fly I would above the darkness
Once I cut you, free.

I'm back and knawing
At the throat of my youth
Torn between branches I've grown
Lifted and then thrown from atop

Dances, I danced with wolves
Howled till the break of dawn
Sorrow when another leaves
Broken when another's taken

I'm here now what, in human form
Will I live to make something
Or will I be just another mistake
We all know why I left, now here

Home: it's a love form that dwells
That never gifted, never sells
Never tries to be more or creates
Now I mourn what I'll make

Repel repel repel
I will make it beautiful
I will try, that is all
I will be, try, make it all

I won’t wary on any of this
Because we all are going through it.

All I can say right now is…
That I wish I had wings
Something I can use to -
Take me from the wreck beneath me.
Something to show me more perspective.

…
I’m afraid I am absorbing too much
of what is fed to me, constantly.
Through the screen.
Through too much conversation.

shallowing my thoughts.

I am not owned by a God.
I would love to know we have one.
Human remains.
Remains is how they’ll find us.

Mother Earth is so powerful
She will spit us out
If we continue to deny…

The whole truth…
And nothing but the truth…
So help me…

We all know the type
The type that tells you it's okay
That they will love you anyway
They will always be there
When the love feels like air

You believe them when they say
Words that grow the spark
Hold you tight in the dark
A hand that holds with love
While wearing leather gloves

One day it's fast, next day it's slow
A sudden mystery it feels
It makes you hunt for trails
Of why the sudden love goes cold
And why you suddenly feel old

Outgrown are we? I feel that
Words are shallow holes now
Telling you, you know how
Much I love you in the dark
But it's still black, without a spark
No pushing back, I can't reveal
What it is I fear
For I'm afraid
I'll push you farther away

I apologized to you
I told you that we are free
But, oh the damage
You have done to me

I'm hanging off the edge
Because the pills I take
Never get there anymore
The pills I took before

As directed, and you knew
You knew very well my health
And yet you stuck in my face
Yanked it from my brain

I was never insane, but now
I'm not so sure

Take it, Starla, take and eat
Fly with butterfly wings
I did until I crushed, crash
A heave and a thrash

I thought you would help me
You hurt, you provoked a curse
My being, my blood, my happiness
Flows out of me like a flood

Why? It's not on you, right?
I told you no, I told you no
But now I know

Sick of feeling
Let's go away forever
Who gives a **** about what's ahead
A dead man never wished to work
I certainly don't know where I'm goin

Who can put a value
On what they have
No ******* clue of
ha. Isn't it funny?

Our world is timed
By the ants that
Work the field
That's all they know

Let's be kind
Let's be free
Because...
Who CARES
No one.

This life is a dream that has no end, beginning
With all of the loss I've had, somehow I'm winning
I stood at the station waiting for your footsteps
But somehow I found myself on a moving doorstep

Heading out west, it had seemed the only answer
The story my mind told was that I am a chancer
I stepped off the ledge that had long been the steepest hell
Shedding the skin of my past like an empty shell

I can't go farther when I've now gone all the way
So, I guess that I'll stay.

The words that I wanted from you back when it mattered
Come spilling from your mouth to me now where they shatter
The irony is; there's no bliss or a kiss they deserve
I cant feel the pain, there's no drain from the break that I've cured

When I turned my back and left you fading in the distance
I failed to make space with the time leading up to this instant
I laugh to myself as it seems we were always here
The one difference now is that I could not lesser care

The world keeps on spinning, but I'm stuck in some old place
It circles around as I stare into Karma's face.
No need to fear counting years, as if time is a race
There's no out of bounds, lost or found, like a cloud up in space

I'll see it again, theres no end, rounds the bend in full circle

On the ***** of illusion, she leaned on the wind debating its strength. If it were to die, so would she- and then burst into tiny stars, form a Galaxy.

Driving through a place
One I've never known-
To tell me yes or no
I just don't choose to listen

I don't care anymore
Caring is for people who
Have something left inside
I'm done, I'm going to

Shoot on through these streets
Watch the trees turn into fragments
Of light green and brownish swirls
I'm not turning around

There is no back, just forth
I go to these dementions -which
Some may dream about
But sleep, there is none here

The wild world it spins about
Without wheels to train a route
And yes, I love it so I go
But never ask to where I'm going

I'm just going to Gun it
Then I'll find out where it stops

Cave into my soul
Rest there, breathless
The world can't get us now,
So help me

Wrap us like strings
Double knot, hold tight
We spin- so that
Nothing has a shape

Speed fast, Stagger
Until we wobble and fall
Erupting into giggles
It was much worth the thrill

Tangled, mangled
Pulled like yarn
We lazily unravel
Nested in the mess around us

Stay, so we can watch
The busy world from windows
Deaf to icy whispers, trying
To lure us away

I do not know this verse,
Because the moment, now past
Was a memory- I'm not sure of
Am I a narrator or a story?
Is it true, or am I a false witness?
I was, what I am not now
I will be, what I do not know
Amphibious in nature, but tell me
Do you - do you see me as one?
Or do you see me as one of
One of something that was..

I suppose this is just babbled thought
Of how perception is born
We cannot perceive ourselves
Now, there's the thought.
I cannot perceive myself
Therefore I am not.

I drive, so that I can feel like I’m moving
So that the thoughts that pace the mind-
Can race with the trees and the houses
And fall with the rain and the hail.

I drive, because sometimes silence is unbearable.
So that stillness that widens the space for emptiness-
Can be disrupted by the whistle of the wind
And bound by the lines on paved roads

I drive, because my body sitting stiff doesn’t function
So that my eyes can focus and hands, finding work-
Will operate without questions of their use
And know their success with every turn

I drive, because I want to be alone, but not fully
So that there’s knowledge that the world continues to breathe
While my thoughts are still mine (on the inside)
But can think in perspective of everything living.

I drive, because I need the motions to justify emotions
So that there’s not a feel of entrapment or ownership
Of anything and anyone that comes into my life
So that I know I am moving, and that I am free.

I drive because I can't sit still,
I don't know who I'd be.

As a child on a beach
Shoveling moats to the kingdom
And as the waves to the sand
You scooped me up.

My heart is like the shells of the sea
vacant from previous owners,
Wandering lost in undertows,
Trying to find a ground to settle.

Perhaps you want not to own me.
Or drag me down with tides
Maybe you want to keep me…
You might think I’m a treasure.

Just please be careful, be careful with me…
For wealth need not be measured
But if I’m not worthy of your shelf
Throw me back, throw me back
To the sea.

…trust me, I’ll be free.

Let’s pretend the world won’t end
Let’s be wild, let’s be great
Let’s be something- that as a child
We once could relate

Let us hang from branches
Let us swing up high
Let’s believe our dreams
Won't hear a shuddered cry

Let us yell, let us scream
Let his voice control it
Let the punch hit 17
Across the cheek, we sold it

Let us live without one fear
Humor me, I dare

If we are all but a coincidence
Please tell me not, my dear old friend
I'd rather numb this once again
Than feel it in the flesh

What I would say, if I dare
I'd say that life is to be lighter
Death a mere path to something else
That we do not know, et all

Pity on those who think,
But do not know.
Salt on those who know,
But do not think.

Find somewhere in between

Where buds can blossom
Without hesitation, and
Minds can shift -
Without resignation

Let harmony carry our thoughts.

Pursuasion is the worst of sins
For those who slickly speak
In tongues that whisper fictitious whims
Leading you to darkness.

Doubt idly leans on
Those who hang heads low
And talk of maybes and almosts
Without a chin to spare.

Pursue a path to growth.

The price of knowledge only accrues
Don't limit this power where-
In these small hours we can waste
Swaddled in naivety.

Shed upon our small existence
Humility and love
Openness and kindness
Who knows what is above?

Accept beliefs of others.


Let's live Life now,
it IS all we know
So let it be, as is
Dream, Create, Learn and Grow

Find something you can give.

If I stumbled upon you on the street
I would have nothing but good blessings
For you and all you have done
For the life we had once, as one

I hated you so long ago,
The hate it disappears, and now
Seems losing you was just the plan
Like weeds, without which now I grow

We are always starting over
The feeling of grounding
Through clenched teeth,
Discouraged.
I’ll clean my slate
And feel relieved
To have arms open.

Happy is a good day
The sun winks
The grass waves
Today, I’m ready.

Tomorrow, maybe, what if-
I don’t pretend to know her anymore.
Tomorrow is forever a dream.

Today is open.

...you...
Live in shadows, no one can see
Who you really are, you don't know
And something so lost, finds a way
To tear into the strongest cloths
You make holes everywhere you go

But it's the dark that makes you feel
You can damage all the decent fabric
Of those you had greeted many times
your demons, feather in the dusty room
And settle on untouched beauty

Flit flutter- your inconsistent beat
Makes me want to swat you far
No. I won't **** you. The lies you live
Is a death sentence in itself -heavy...
With a burden that makes you need

Greedy with desire to Hover over flames
Your true kryptonite; desire more, more
light- and too shallow,  you see it all the same
You can't distinguish the true sun
So you flock to the buzzing hollow glow

You find it hot, but never hot enough,
Fore long- BURN- as I'm sure you will
Like that! A flicker, and out! You stagger
You plummet, dissolve, gone so easily.
A remnence of ash too small to remember

I will stop.
I will live.
I will spread my arms wide
In the wind, and I will thank
The heavens for the love
That comes in pieces.
The parts are reasembled.

Get your head straight.
Love is in every corner.
My distraction never looked.
We have time..
Brush the haze...
Look beyond the gratifying.
Dig, and dig deeper
Catch the roots spilling.

It’s everywhere. Joy!
We share, we breathe, we think.
I think, we are going somewhere
I look forward to the new world.

Notice a regimented city full of ants
Where shoulders rub without a glance
And never do bowed heads look up
To notice men with trembling cups
To see the sky, and admit its worth
Embrace our helplessness from birth
Invisible chains brace personal spaces
To widen the gaps from race to races

Moving back and forth, Up and down
We scour the maze for gains to be found
Blinders on, we tunnel our way
Never stop to talk, it creates delay
The troubles of others are theirs alone
Emotions cause chaos, changes faces to stone
Be the best for yourself, climb to the top
And stomp on the heads of the weak who have stopped

But who will be there when your limbs give out?
When age leaves you breathless, unable to shout
When illness takes over and you can't quite recall
What it was that you climbed for, was it important at all?
When the money and materials you collected so dear
Gather dust on a shelf without one which to share
All your life you have strived to reach top the hill
And you finally get there, just to feel unfulfilled

Take a look around now and notice this place
Take the time to stop and study each face
Always keep your dreams and aspirations afloat
But let others in and let love be your boat
Empathize with others, try and feel what they felt
You never quite know the cards they've been dealt
The key to success is to take notice of grace
We are not working ants, we are the human race

I wonder what it takes to be like you
So blinded by the lies you think are true
In confidence, you strut your ridged plain
Unaware that you are walking on a plank
Fear Worn like sheer took to wind and away

I wonder Are you happy when alone?
Do thoughts of Doubt reveal themselves at home?
emotions suppressed, do they flood the surface
Of the barge you have built to resist
Growing large demons form in a cyst

You stand and call yourself a man, but
Oh Boy, I have met your kind before
Stuck in your ways like a kid on a train
Riding tracks that have no end in store
Oh Boy, you are in for a ride

I wonder why it is you choose not to see
A world as it is, as you are, Just be free
From the armor of ignorance you wear outwardly
Grab at the chance to wash rust from The skin underneath
Your perception like chainmail, linked with deception, traps truth that is needing to breathe

You think you know the lay of the land, but
Oh Boy, I have met your kind before
Stuck in your ways like a kid on a train
Riding tracks that have no end in store
Oh Boy, aren't you in for a ride

Oh Boy, You walk on a bridge made of sand
Hallucinate the belief you've found land
But what will you do when your men turn to you, and you realize you're without a plan
Oh Boy, where then do you stand?
Stuck in your ways like a kid on a train
Oh Boy, you are in for a ride

I could wait here, watching the world spin
Slow dolorous motion, take my time
I don't wish to be at the start again
I'll resist Gravity, if need be.

Heave against waves, I'll choke on the sea
Creatures of all lagoons, levitate me
I am not afraid to fly, but to sink
Drowning is such a dulling end

Break me again, desperate Tide
I dare you halt me with your silly trysts
Against the rocks, the crooked grooves
That tear at my flesh, and sever my bones

I don't want to go home, ill take this
These evils are nothing to my anguish
I won't die upon your plate, foe
I'll bite at your soul, engulfing it whole

Treason is the word of kings
Who fear the end of their reign
Fear gets them there in the first place
Powers are none, when you fear the fall

I don't want to go home, I can taste it-
The cusp of a delicious life
To fail is half the strife, swallow the knife
There can't be another chance

Never it easy to reach for the stars
But I'm not reaching, just fighting
The demons at bay that seem to  
Keep the Forces from going my way

I don't want to go home, I'm halfway there
A stones throw to the -lay of the land
With me. The breeze lends an ear and suddenly-
A favorable lift of the sails

And so, as I know it.
My fight prevails...
I'll tear every wall
In the wake of my trail

Some want to contort me into unfathomable shapes
Some want to put me in a box and make me a keepsake
Some want to bend my thoughts until my mind soon breaks
Some want to lead me down a path then leave and make me chase
For those to come, I warn you now, I can sense it from miles away

I sit upon a stupid stool
And watch the hours flock by
I wonder if, now, I was you
Is this the tick to talk by

Would you be running wild and free
With lovers in your pocket
Now here I am alone with me
A thought, the thought ill chalk it

I see you on the recent post
In Bali- now LA
I'm wondering how can I seem
Enough to look okay

You dance about the wild screen
It seems it took one take
But maybe here In my melancholy
I failed to see what's fake.

This world, somewhat melancholy
To the pessimists who don’t know
What truths lie behind the lines
Of what is real and what is.
Feel, give me that, just feel
For one day and see what can
Flourish or fall, but feel all the same

My world, somewhat disorienting
Between the head and the heart
To which never agree on terms
Of what is sense and what is.
Feel, what is right, once thought
For one day I’ll see what can
Blossom or break, but feel all the same.

Your world, somewhat calculating
Between art and history
To which one will never be sure
Of what is great and what is.
Feel, maybe not, but form
For one day you’ll see what can
Create or ruin, but feel all the same.

Peter, someone I admire
After the bad, maybe the first
Of which that I want to know more
Of what is__and what is.
Feel, believe it, and pair
For one day we’ll see what can
Conjoin or part, but feel all the same.

Rheya raised the heads of many
Hazed the days together
Swept the breeze so easily
And held her breath forever

Rheya layed in green pastures
Always holding out her hands
She swam so fluidly in oceans
Ran vibrantly through sands

Rheya was the brightest star
In our universe
All the boys would follow her
But she was too immersed

Rheya didn’t come that day
We waited in the park
She held her breath too long, they say
When Rheya’s light went dark

I can play the victim, I admit.
We all find ourselves in holes.
The hole I’m in
       is the one I dug.
Do you know the difference?

Your blame is like a heavy fog
Or a stranger’s breath upon me
I am afraid to focus
On the heat wave that weighs me

I try
    To let
         It go.

The truth is, I am afraid
I’ve been afraid before you
But this fear is....shedding you.
I need to leave, I need to.
You stick to me.
I shake you off.
But you are there.
I don’t love you.
I know it.
Why..
Am..
I ..
Still..
Here?

I dug this hole myself.

Coiled gleaming, foiled scales
Cross the scathing desert sands
A gaping no mans land
An S shaped slither, Slides
The night quivers as it glides

How the spine does mesmerize
To prey that see those eyes
The fate of a torturous demise,
Dragged around and swaddled
Up up down and swallowed

Evil sounds it makes a hisss
a kisss of death upon ussss
Keeps usss honessst lisssten
Dart to see that armor glissten
Behind yellow eyes to scales so twisssted

The world is sick.
A sickness that leads towards the sun
A breath of wind, a heap of snow
The sickness has yet been won
Frailty is the beauty of this place
Security is the fear
Bombs they may fall
Bullets they may shoot
Arrows they may pierce
Human remains.

Smitten..
The kindest word to describe
A thought of something wonderful
But trouble that I fear too well

Fear is the boundaries of hell
I fight it like an addiction
I'll fight you, I'll fight
though nothing solves

The thought of you is on my mind
A thought I maybe had before
Are you the same?
I cannot ask you that.

What scattered life, has become of me
From the dim and narrow
I open my eyes, deeper and see
That the world is not shallow


The configuration, of what will be
Has assigned me a shadow
That shows me the traces of the past
and proceeds beyond my tunnel


Such a damp cold curse, once tangled tight and burst
Left me a widow
Beating on the chest in bewilderment
For a loss that seemed vital


For His words heaped down like a roman crown just before a battle –
all I once knew,
was now mangled and skewed
as my Empire crumbled


the rise and fall of drawbridges
cant hide what has been won
I used up my only heart
For what- a mere token?


But Seasons changed -
Again, the world seems open -
And then I find that happiness
Is harder than it’s spoken


The Noble queen once said to me,
your time is nearing
What did she mean, I've wondered
will I see the morning?


Let out a shrill unleash of will,
my heart and lungs breathed ill
But your embrace was a stronger lace
Than the substance in this pill


And it was true, I never knew
Of stars to be aligned
Such prophesies, seemed but a tease
For those who lead the blind


You Shine on me like embers
From A glowing fireside
I cannot help but feel in doubt
Of the kindness you reside


How can it be, quite steadily
I feel, as I am sure
That what you are, is not a blur
With sharper aperture


I’m bold and blue –I’ll ask of you
Upon which star you flew
Your trail so bright, sheds me a light
that I have never knew


No fate can quite illuminate
The way it’s meant to be
Can't choose the way in which we sway
Like wind upon a tree


I woke to something beautiful
You laying next to me –
And I’ll project: Eternity.
There’s nowhere I'd rather be


You woke me from a blurry sleep
killed voices in my head
lifted the shade - shed light on this haze
Made living of the dead.


Im not afraid of where you lead
I’ll run away tonight
Darkness cannot haunt my dreams
With you, I’ve found my light.

I think I'm going to do it
I'm going off to mars
It's time that I barade this place
And settle with the stars

I think that I would like a space
Where no ones ever stepped before
No damage made from yesterdays
Without a debt to score

I'm bored of all the interactions
Shaped by culture of the times
There'll be not small talk of weather
Politics not argued if never defined

Maybe I'll learn from what I observe
Instead of reading from a screen
I'll void the need to work with speed
With much more time to dream

No one out there to hurt the heart
With words that cut like knives
The constant fear, simply not there
To stop the living from their lives

The silence will be comfort
Where Chaos dissipates
Is mars a mission for mankind
Or a place sought for escape

Harden me with what scares me
It's going there anyway, baby-
Spin the truth so my heartstrings
Pull, all the soul I have left

tug,- a tear, nothing's left here
A Stitch won't fix the mess
Unraveled, unclear, a knot
A mangled heap, I'm bare

Not broken, not bent, unkept
Take it, take it all off, baby
Because whatever's left, is.
I have nothing more to give

Take it from me, because with it
Leaves the pain- and all the more to gain
I won't look back again, those
Listless threads left in the wind

Not sadness, not regret, I'll shed
The poison of that tie, baby
Scary is the thought of staying
tangled in the gauze of your sins

Freedom, unravels the light from within

The Allegory of the Den, Plato
An old friend who said
Enlighten, Inspire, and See
The light at the end of this cavernous hole

I see so many lights
From within so many holes
I’m beginning to think that
Limbo, is the destiny of Souls

I climb out, and I fall down
I get a taste of sun, before I plummet to the ground
Liberty seems like a reason to
Protest this uncertain existence

But Liberty is a product of
The Man himself who wrote
On a scroll from within a den
And Cursed us all
Repent, Repent

He was abandoned, again
The boy with no home
Who wanted nothing more
Than to be loved
But what he didn’t see
Was reality

This Shakespearean poet
With only one note to sing
Held his heart out
To the sky
“Love me”

And he was loved
He was also free
But freedom was a fear
He was always bare
Always near, waiting for pain

But did he see light?
The thing he craved
Warmth was given
As he graveled in his cave
He never sought out

Pity was an Achilles heel
Blindness struck his face
With a heart tapping on strings
Wanting, needing, he would wait
For something...

Let me lead with “The Catch”
The idea of life unlike we planned
The life that all humans fear
The catch is that it all can crumble.

It is the loss you never thought
A beautiful life stripped from the ground.
Climbing through rubble - confused -
When there, before, was a home.

Uncertainty lies the path
Every stone, every mile, every breath.
To which point is it over?
To where can we now rest?

A hand is worth a thousand
Miles we’ve regressed
With minds that block
And tick then talk,
How can we not detest?