I haven't seen your face in days
We know it is better this way
I haven't seen your face in years

I long to be younger
Too naive to know
You weren't loving me
You were possessing me

Alone, cold, senseless
Your skin somehow felt warm
Under my fingertips
Focusing all my energy on you
Was, at first, euphoric
Soon the feeling was replaced
With an emptiness

Draining me of life
You carried on: complacent
Drugs and my presence
Stabilized your horrific being

Why do I still struggle
With keeping my life
Sanitized
So you can no longer
Infest it

Although I often care too much
I can't help it, I stare too much
Now you are here,
And as I look into blue
I can only truly see you
And the color of your eyes.

Your voice used to warm my heart.
The sound takes me back,
All the way back to the start.

When my body was brand new,
Freshly developed,
I could not see through,
Others' facades.
I always let them have their way.

I said no,
And you pressed on,
Hearing me,
But not paying much attention,
To my pleas.

Other protests went unheard,
Never escaped my mouth,
The lines were always blurred.

I thought I was loved,
But that was untrue.
I was being shoved,
Into a small dark place.
A place where you could do,
All you desired to.

I let you have me,
Before I knew who I was.

How is it,
I feel more alone,
Alongside others each day,

Than I did,
Continuously in solitude?

People exhaust my heart.

Alone it idealizes,
Interactions,
Romanticizes,
Human nature.

Reality,
Weighs heavy,
And disappoints.

Feeling extra detached,
My empathy - unlatched.
Surplus time alone,
Odd feeling to the bone.
Never lonely,
But looking for a shift in emotion.
People can sometimes provide,
This motion.
Truly seeking just one person,
For perspective immersion.
A being who I personally find,
To have a lavishly beautiful mind.

Fall is so beautiful.
Thick and thin branches,
Are painted with,
Gorgeous shades,
Of orange, red, and yellow,
That my eyes fall upon,
By gazing out,
This broad window.
The contrast of,
Dark brown bark,
And warm shades,
Bring life to the season where,
Everything begins,
To die.
The sky is so crystal blue,
So clean,
Unlike my clouded surroundings.