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582 · Nov 2024
Joker
Pax Nov 2024
I am never
the comedian,
But I am
the joke.
When I was growing-up, I was different, in a way i speak, walk or talk. Yet physically i was just a normal boy growing up knowing nothing on how the society works. I was confident to what i like and don't like, then been bullied  or humilated by doing it, because it was not the norms for a typical boy. Then I became fed up with it, that in my teenages years i learned to be alone and be alone, trying to fix something that didn't need fixing. Life goes on in my teenage year, still being bullied until in my collage years that i learned which to ignore and to which to defend. In result to all this i became a loner, choosing wisely when to socialize when needed to or else i rather be alone. That is why also i never care finding someone anymore, i find comfort in my own space.  Being Old alone is not such a bad thing anymore, we all go there in some point in time.

To conclude my personal journey, I guess being bullied physically or emotionally has/have a long time effect. It will scar you, but it will never defined you, you'll get strong as you understand the viewpoint in perspective, life gets better when you know how to live a good life.
566 · May 2020
All these people
Pax May 2020
If all these people hated me
will you hate me as well?

If all these people laugh at me
will you laugh with them?

If all these people left me stranded
will you leave me as well?

Well, everything is left unsaid
I hope someone knew
deep inside iM hurting myself

Sorry dramatic isn't it, sometimes this feelings comes and goes, i just want to put it out there like its nothing, like crying alone is a regular thing.. Sigh..
539 · Oct 2024
No concept
Pax Oct 2024
What if the world
Has no concept of
Right and wrong.
No laid out truth
Nor religion?

"We often box our chaos into rules."
This was the continued response on my poem, ask the world.
https://hellopoetry.com/poem/4144265/ask-the-world/
518 · Jan 2013
to be learned!
Pax Jan 2013
Don’t over ponder the things you don’t have power
Sometimes you just have to let time slide by
For the chances to pass by
Making a road of much better opportunity along the way…

In life some chances are not meant to be understood
But intended to be learned as you had experienced those times



*© Pax
489 · Nov 2024
Cupid & Destiny
Pax Nov 2024
I should have sent my love letters to Cupid
And ask Destiny for the right time.
Yet stubborn as I am, I remain still…

Some loves are too shallow for me to dive into
So, I remain in the shoreline,
always testing the waters…
never got to dive deep....
487 · Sep 2024
Confession#2
Pax Sep 2024
before writing seems to comes too easy
maybe before the river of depression
rushing into my canals in all directions
with no order, no bounderies...
i guess, i've learned,
to build dams, cross section
and order...
i manage to live, and caring to what matters.
485 · Mar 2020
illustionary love
Pax Mar 2020
If i kiss you here.
Will that brings us together?
Will our love be an ever after?

If i touch you there
will that bridge build faster,
for us to be together?

if this illustionary love be real
I'd be a thief, a forbidden deal
Holding a broken seal
Of the unspoken truth
Of everyone i'll hurt.

I don't want that, I'd rather be alone
And hold a heart of stone.
Be at peace to the dream out of reach.
At least i know how to love.
A fictitious write, me dreaming, kissing something forbidden. Many thanks to those who read.
484 · Dec 2018
to be loved
Pax Dec 2018
how broke are you,
to make you this weak?
how am I able to
fix you when
you, yourself
never allow me too...?

I am the little flicker
able to flip worst
into a brighter
light.

please have patient
and be lenient
to thy self
it's never too
late, to believe
and hope
a light
will come,
even a fool
has a chance
to be loved.
sometimes I am thinking on giving up this life
but some flicker keeps me going, telling me
to go on as best as I can. even if its lonely
even if its tiring, I still can carry on, I hope
so, hope ill last the best I can... so i hope you
too dear readers...
480 · Apr 2020
empathetic
Pax Apr 2020
Why do i feel much and yet experience so little.
Perhaps its been a Curse, being to sensitive at times...
446 · Apr 2020
uncharted
Pax Apr 2020
I Sense your
morning movement
as you wrap
your sweetest embrace
into my cold heart
bringing heat
to my uncharted
territory
I surrender…

I rave at your arrival
as you drain
my pool of
longing then
satisfying
my hunger
forever
I remember…
An old piece.
438 · Mar 2020
Shinning
Pax Mar 2020
Your the shinning example of
Love i never got to see.
So be at ease to
The one you've found
Love grows when
U cherish it.
358 · Sep 2024
Confession#1
Pax Sep 2024
Did I waste my life?
In waiting for something?
Or anything that can warm my cold feet.

Did I lose a part of my life?
In taking a step back.
Did I manage my self more than the love I crave?

Nothing change, I am not as proactive
and as eager to find that warmth?
Perhaps, I never care from the start.
337 · Mar 2020
Failure, I
Pax Mar 2020
A repetitive omen
that we learn to avoid
over time.
Still bad at it, but im Learning though it takes time, patience is all i have.
334 · Jan 2013
our choice
Pax Jan 2013
It’s the choice we make
It’s the risk we take
And the consequence we face


*© Pax

— The End —