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I'm not supposed to feel this way.
This is truly unexpected.
You have this strange effect on me.
You make me happy.
I hate how you make me happy.

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I have this "friend" who, after quite some time, I got to talk to and spend some time with. Things became "different". Things also got a bit twisted and confusing afterwards.

I started to write these 4-liner verses (one verse a day) almost a month ago. It has become my outlet, my breather, my life support. It speaks of my thoughts, my musings, and my words that were left unspoken.

I'm pretty sure you (yes you, my dear "friend") won't be able to read these. But in case you'll do, I hope you'll see what effect you had on me.

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Same old story.
Same old ending.

Boy meets girl.
Girl talks to boy.
Boy makes girl swoon.
Girl gives a piece of her heart to boy.
Boy drifts away.
Girl wonders why.
Boy leaves girl.

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"Old habits die hard"

Yes, indeed.

Every time somebody leaves, I try really hard to let go of that person and dump memories of "us" in an invisible "moving on" box. But, as much as I wanted to forget that chapter of my life, I always end up reminiscing and wishful thinking that somewhere (somehow) that person is having even the littlest thoughts of me. What's worse is I always crash and burn whenever that person notices me (likes a post, sends a text message, etc). I always go back to thinking of what if's and what might have been's.

I believe that there's always a way to end these. I've been here so many times and I think I learned a lot already. I may get back to some nasty habits but I'll never be that same person you know. Your lies and deception may have destroyed a piece of me but at the same time, they made me grow and appreciate other beauties of life even more.

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There's always this fine, fine line
between being a lover and a friend.

It *****.

If only I could cut this line and
make these two words mean the same thing.
If only I could, I would.

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Been there.
Done that.
Again.
And again.
And again.

This vicious cycle has to end.

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I'm trying not to think about you.
I don't want to, but I have to.

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Just another ordinary day.
I need a little dose of happiness.
I miss you.
Do you miss me too?
I wish you do.

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