there's a monster in me.
it keeps whispering things. so loud. that my mind could burst anytime soon.
inhabit, control, taking over; messing me up inside.
oh mama, i must obey it,
the one i shouldn't commit.
oh mama, how could i live?
in a body i cannot forgive.
please mama, bring some water; pour me the rain, a very heavy rain.
embrace me, hug me, drown me—wiped it all the monster away,
i don't think i could find any other way.

She's a mess,
A perfectly sculpted mess,
She's at war with her own self; for a man who was her first,
And those memories were still left untouched,
Cause she's scared it will tore up into pieces—like what he did to her heart,
And she knows that it's not healthy,
So she did what everyone told her;
Moved on, buried him, threw him, kicked him out of her life.
But no honey, there are still pieces of him left,
Cause it's too hard to let go,
Not because she still loves him,
It's the memories that hold her up—and keep telling her, "we were together".

She knows better than the other,
That this weight has brought her to the thing unknown,
Which slowly drowned her, deep and deeper,
Her riverbad is so much closer than her ceiling,
It's time for given all up,
So she does.
It's finally swallowed her entirely,
Left her anything but an enormous hollow,
And shaped the other version of her; bolder, stronger, and above all, full of lies.

they said love means you fill each other's up.
l o v e; is yours meet mine and intertwined just fine.
l o v e; is a half-full coffee combined with a condensed milk and we called it us.
yet if i only knew, i'm barely bring the house down,
that you are an olive oil to my fiji water, period.

I hate this part.

It's when I'm standing 6 feet away from you and not being able to do anything but wait, while here my abdomen couldn't even compromise, it keeps shouting its voices showing it all off that all I want is you.

It's when the others laid their hands on you while I do nothing but stare, yearn for my moment comes faster.

It's when you are looking beautiful, stand firmly and brightly on top of that circular-shaped object with pointed end, ugh I don't know that I want you that bad.

It's only been 5 minutes, 5 minutes of waiting in a queue for my love, my lovely vanilla ice cream with butterscotch sauce.
5 minutes of eternity.

I'm nothing but a silenced laugh,
I breath fire smells a fantasy bougainville,
I speak cursed sounds a soothing lullaby,
Honey, I'm your foe, and you know me as amigo,
I'm bleeding of lies, betrayal–a vicious sinner,
And this skin-deep will last until you realize,
I'm a ****** retaliation dressed in devotion.

We are an atom built within the galaxy
Wander and mingle for the sake of acceptance only
Sacrificing the only thing we own to get to the zero gravity
Hence, is it all really worthy?

It's the endless sky that give chills all over,
For you who wonder and wander,
Surrounded by confusion and mixing decision,
For you this sky somehow heals,
Relinquish the constant distance of you and your own.

the city lights are two things;
bustling but blinding,
the life of the party intersect the intoxicating loneliness,
it drinks all the emotion and pour them all at once,
the paradox is right here,
in the middle of these million heartbeats.

the ignorance of his soul boiled inside those skeletons,
radiate the gleam through his eyes,
for him it's just a meaningless phrase,
for the rest it's a displeasure frame.
he didn't realize until then;
that it is his own self that light up the fire,
and burned everything up; for him to stand alone above his cluelessness.