we drew a line
to mark the boundaries
we pinpointed
the source of fights
we put an x signs
to danger zones
of our relationships
baby we drew a map
a map to happiness
and I wonder why
we still get lost in the way

so i’ve heard
that many have started alright
but ended up all wrong
oh baby, why don’t we
reverse our story?
let’s start at the end
let’s start at the bottom
let’s start it the wrong way
maybe, just maybe
we’ll end up right for each other..

misconstrued
instituted
marginalized
muted

they call me sick
they call me freak
disorders are not just an adjective
for you to be abusive
lucid, disillusions
more than just unsettled hormones

too many assumptions
too many misconstructions
they think they know me
those petty eyes

if i don’t get cured
don’t laugh at me
i’m still a human being
just like you

Little kids are caroling
Joyful songs they are singing

Street lights are dancing
The sky is happily watching

Delicious smell, I'm inhaling
Busy houses, everyone is preparing

Sounds of gift wrapping
How nice is giving and sharing

Christmas is truly a blessing
Let us enjoy this serene feeling

Little kids are caroling
Joyful songs they are singing

Street lights are dancing
The sky is happily watching

Delicious smell, I'm inhaling
Busy houses, everyone is preparing

Sounds of gift wrapping
How nice is giving and sharing

Christmas is truly a blessing
Let us enjoy this serene feeling*





I've been so hooked with work and preparation for the holidays lately, that is why I wasn't able to read and write for quite some time.. I hope to back read all the poems I've missed lately..

And to all my poet friends here, it's better late than never, Seasons Greetings to all of you! Hope you all had a blessed season :)

So what if I use simple words?
So what if I use cliche scenarios?
So what if I do not rhyme?
So what if my metaphors are lame?
So what if my stories are incoherent?
So what if my thoughts are obscure?
So what if I prefer free verse than iambic pentameters?


I write to express,
not to impress
So please, mind your own style.

Wrapped myself in a red velvet dress and a flower in my hair
Ready for the night with a guest
Lips twitching to a ghostly glare
Bit frighten, my hollow chest

As I opened the door,
Misery enters confidently
Bringing with him an emotional distress, I could not ignore
So I welcomed him, paradoxically

The second night, Misery came again
This time, bringing his friend, Lonely
I let them in again and didn't complain
No choice at all, I endured their company

Each night I would embrace Misery
And instead of dancing with my shadow
Now I tango with Lonely

Misery and Lonely, my visitors at night
Consistent like the moon, they are
in their company I find solace and delight
I could not escape, the light is too far

10 months,
oh time flies so fast
i have been counting the days
since you left me jaded in this place
and out of tears and pain
i cursed the angels for taking you away
how could they?
how could they turn my sunshines into rain?

I am not pretty
That’s why you’ll never notice me
Don’t mention my hair
Don’t ask my day

Typical ******
Always on the corner of window
Don’t ask what music I listen
Don’t ask the poems I have written

Don’t ask me, don’t notice me
Because I am easily mistaken
Mere questions, I thought was an attention
A little attention, I thought an affection

Maybe that’s the reason
Why I easily get attached to people
Who shows even a little interest
Who shows even a little care

I always long for affection
That's why I am always mistaken

She doesn’t always look the same
Sometimes she’s a silver sphere
Fooling you that she is bright
But she’s just a mistress of the night

Sometimes only half of her you can see
Following you wherever you’ll be
She hides while dancing in the sky
Half, still a full beauty up high

In time, she becomes thin, crescent
Like a smile, a blissful moment
She looks delicate, discriminating
Only a part of her, still breathtaking

And only those prison of the night
Will witness the euphoric stint
Of showing pieces of her then
The beauty of becoming whole again

oh bella luna
poor is your beloved wolf
loving from afar

maybe I've been caring
     more than I should
     that's why I'm hurting
     more than I should

There was a lone child
Who wakes up even before the sun does
Who writes something in her room
Then inflates a red balloon

Only to find out
That a prayer, she has written down
Will tie it to the balloon
Then set it free to the sky dome

It was her morning routine
Thinking the angels above
Will easily hear and see her prayers
Because she always pray and gets nothing

It was her morning routine
Thinking that the earlier she prays
The earlier she'll be answered
Because she always wait, wait and wait

It was her daily routine
She never gets tired of it
She will always knot a prayer to a balloon
Until someday, that someone might finally hear her

To you, love was about multitudes
To me, love was inordinate

“I love you” I would say
“How much” you would ask
-Lang Leav

You like specifics, you like to hear
How much I do, how much I can
But darling, my love is inordinate
I couldn’t quantify, it’s too lavish
Sometimes unconscionable
And multitudes is never enough
If you ever ask me again
I’ll ask you to count the star
On every galaxy
Until you loses track
I’ll ask you to count every grain of sand
On every ocean floor
Until you ran out of numbers
I’ll ask you to listen to my heartbeat
On every second of the day
Until the infinite of infinities ends
And if ever you asked me again
Of how much I love you
That’s my definition of “how much”

tell me, how many
of your poems were about me
if those flowers that bloom
and colors your white paper
represents our happy memories
or if those gray clouds and rains
and hurricanes in your canvass
were our breaking points
tell me, those love poems
those hate poems, those drunk poems
those empty, those pleading
those happy, those waiting
tell me, how many
how many of your poems “were” about me?

you are the bee
in my garden
i let you sting
my honey nectar
now i drip with
sugary words
dripping in my stem
your hunger
triggers my thirst
so you **** until
my last petal falls

~
I used to be the Fallen One
I got this name from a book
Fallen One is a male character
Who for sure got a good look
But his life consist of awful chapter
~

Since then, I used it as my pseudonym
We are not totally the same
I just love the darkness of him
I just love personalities that's dim

Let us say, I maybe depressed
Or I just find beauty in everything that falls
Or I just find comfort being a messed
That is why I've got this high walls

Maybe my words mean nothing
Cause I honestly don't know what I want to say
I just want somebody to hear me crying
And tell me it's going to be okay
(even tho it's a lie)

Silent pleas, save me from my own miseries
Self destruction button activated
Maybe I am made to be like this
To recover and then again devastated

I am always the fallen one
Never the rising one
Beauty I find in destruction
Peace I find in confusion

This is me, and I couldn't run away
I couldn't climb, I always fall
Maybe that's how I am supposed to be
Maybe that's how it is supposed to be

The morning shines
The sun is beaming
Everyday she blossoms
Like flowers in spring

Contagious smile
A lovely laughter
My heart will fly
At the sight of her

To open my eyes and see her
Oh I can stay like this forever
She is my morning coffee
That wakes every part of me

She is a beautiful dream
But I like mornings better
Because everytime I wake up
I know she's real

hello my old heart
it’s been so long
how have you been
you’re barely beating

hello my old heart
i’ve been so worried
are you still there
inside my ribs?

hello my old heart
you’re almost still

oh i’m sorry, i’m sorry
the walls i built to keep you safe
are now too sky high
that’s why i didn’t hear your pleas

hello my old heart
don’t you worry being locked
in there you’re safe and sound
yes you’ll never beat but you’ll never break

No boyfriend since birth
is it a good or bad thing,
at age twenty-two?

in between the ending
and this new beginning
lies an infinity of unknown
afraid maybe, but still
brave enough to take chances

-
No more resolutions,
Just start taking actions

believe me when i say
that these scars
are not a reminder of you
believe me, these scars
are a reminder
of how deep my love can be

Diamond crown, diamond rings
Diamond gown, diamond things

Appearance is glittering
On the inside, rotting

This is me
and too bad
i am no Cupid
to shoot an arrow
into your **** heart
to make you fall in love
with nothing but all of me

Some people are bound to meet each other,
but never destined to be together..
~Unknown*



We both thought that we will have a happy ending,
But it was just an "ending"
This ain't a fairy tale
I agree, that life isn't always fair


We may not be together now,
But memories of you, in my heart I still allow
As they always say,
Some people in our lives, are not meant to stay


Still, I am thankful
For I met a person like you
and experienced a once in a lifetime love
Witnessed by the sky and stars above
Our love story will forever linger in the winds
Our laughters will still echo in our minds
Our tears will still pour through the rains
And I will try to keep us, whatever remains
Even just in my memories

It’s been a long time
Looks like it’s been a very very long time
It’s haunting me
Wanting to break free

I always leave
Then comes back
Sometimes it’s the other way around
(What’s the difference?)

I always stop
Then starts again
Sometimes it’s the other way around
(What’s the difference?)

It’s the tide, the high and low
Washes what’s on the shore
Then returns what I thought I already lost
-memories, emotions, words

I comeback then leaves, I start then stops
I am coming back, again and again
To free the emotions, the words
To meet the shore, where I always belong

It’s the waves of poetry
That brings me back, always
To my first love
**Writing

Before I tucked myself to bed last night
I made sure my muse was safely locked
This morning, I thought I was blinded by light
But my muse was really gone! Shocked!

Frantic, I ran all over my room
To search for my runaway muse
I need to find it or else I'll be doomed
Because my muse, I can not lose

All I did today was searching
Pen and paper, scratch, edit, revise
Blurred lines, incoherent thoughts, all formed nothing
Words, I can't compromise

So if you find this a nonsense
Blame it to me and my missing muse
As much as I want to make sense
I could not because my mind, I can't use

Sure I saved myself from all the heartbreaks
Sure I saved myself from all the pains
Sure I saved myself from sleepless nights
Sure I saved myself from nonsense fights



I do not know if I'm really saving myself
Or just depriving myself of love

I have taken the path to isolation,
with a fearful heart and a jaded soul
Definitely, it is not a vacation,
but to find out, what was stole


It is a fight-
towards self destruction,
towards self-inflicted pain,
feeding myself a dose of depression
mind you, it's a pleasing mental game


But my fragments are made of frailty
and my mind always betrays me
there is always a lingering shadow
and I am fearing the unknown


They say it's just all in the mind
What can I do, my mind is a disaster
So I decided to go away and find
what my mind can't master


So yeah, I have taken the path to isolation
No need to say good bye,
I'll come back when it's over
I'll come back when I'm whole

in this lifetime
there is you and me
and once we were meant to be
but this is not our universe
and our story is a curse
and so the galaxies conspires
to take away what’s not ours — this love
this love has never been ours.

Fall not fell
Love not loved
Never a past tense
For I never get over you
I still fall for you
I still love you
Over and over again

A haiku a day
Keeps my sanity at bay
A refreshing way

I’m in love with the moon
For it never leaves me when the night comes full
It gives light in the dark sky
Which makes me love even more the night

I’m in love with moon
For it shows up every night
When I’m all alone and wanted to plight
When I’m sad and there is no one beside

And I am wishing that you are the moon
So that you’ll never leave me when the night comes full
And you will give me light
Under the sky of the night

But you will never be the moon
For the moon is consistent every night
While you are away and not by my side

a drepressed loner
in a dark comic drama
his world a social sattire
alienated and desperate
he visited support groups
to relate to others
until he met an
alluring iconoclast
who introduced him to a world
of brawling, violence
until he finally entered into
a world of fight club
it becomes an addiction
a different belief
it becomes his sedative
an escape
until sentimentalism
becomes a horrible lie
so a different path he runs

We live, only to perish in the end
We die, to celebrate the life we had

Life takes away things from us
Death takes away our lives

It's a chain, a cycle
Feeding one another

Give and take, but in the end
It's just the same

there is an abyss within
your ocean heart
a depth only a few can grasp
and those who don’t fear
the swallowing waves
and those who aren’t afraid
to swim and dive
will be the lucky ones
to find the beauty you hide

Old rugged jeans
I couldn't throw away
Because in it's tiny little pockets
I am keeping, the pieces
of broken dreams
and broken us

•••
*Dancing lights
Only hurt my eyes

Screaming and loud music
Disgusting to my ears

Vodkas, cocktails and whiskeys
Never wanted to feel frisky

***, dope, cigarettes
I will only regret

Dancing, party, bar
Never wanted to go that far

Yes I have been to parties
But never will it become my thing

Maybe my past life has an old soul
Who finds comfort in her own hole

Yes, sometimes an anti-social
And sometimes interacting is crucial

So next time you ask me out
Make sure you know what I'm about

Coffee or tea, movies and books
Exhibits and museums let's take a look

A good music or a storytelling
A walk in a park or just talking

Pick me a flower, don't buy me a bouquet
Just hold my hand and always stay

but i am just a “once”
that you never dare
to commit again

in the somber shade
of worn summer nights
hidden were boxes
of summer memories
left to rot in the attic
there’s a fog drifting
through the smokey alley
of memory lane
and words of promises
slowly evaporates
to the empty summer air
i stood there, reminiscing
letting flashbulb images
run through my chaotic heart
a tear falls, and more
as i finally took a step away
from a place we once called
our home

Winning makes you slack
     while it is in losing
          that you become strong and stronger

I can tell you all my secrets
I can love and make love to you
I can boldly call you mine
All this I can do, only in poetry

-
It took me one hundred stupid acts
Before I finally realize that I was indeed stupid

I've read a post on facebook about a girl who committed suicide. As per the narrator, she was a good person, a good leader, a good friend and as they can see a perfect daughter. But little did they know that she was suffering because of her parents. Her parents were dissappointed because she was not intelligent enough to graduate with flying colors, the pressure was too much that she wasn't able to carry it all. So she ended it all by taking her life away.


It makes me sad whenever I hear/read stories like that. Sometimes, I think that they are so brave, but sometimes I think they are just stupid to do it. But who am I to judge??

And to all the parents, you are suppose to know, support and understand your children, not to chain them and definitely not to cause them to die..

this is my personal opinion, so an advance apology for the sensitive topic