Polished and refined,
With death I have found
A life below ground
A place I can call mine
Destruction and evil deeds
A breeding of pure hate
Is all that I can create
Out of all these heartless seeds

I punch them in
To the deep sullen dirt
Water them with vengeance
And a sprinkling of hurt
Tonight is the night
I find what dwells below
I don't have a key
But I can bargain with my soul
As I place it into these seeds
I am but reeds in the grass
I'm letting go
Only Heaven knows
The blackness of Hell's wrath

I plant my lifeless soul in this plot
To groom it as it grows
So slowly that nobody knows
It's the place the devil goes to rot
Watered with tears, warmed with fire
And as time stands still, never changing
This fruition of evil continues growing
Until the depths of hell can go no higher

Then it will bloom
A flowering gloom
Growing out of control
The ground will harden
In this here garden
Fertilized by my soul

I cultivated something under the snow
Sewed it deep to watch it grow
I felt the roots take and the warmth on my face
Resonating from the hearts I had froze

I shuddered against the intense heat
Battling my soul within a heartbeat
The seconds pass but the moments last
As the past slowly puts me to sleep

And of what should I dream but the bloodless seeds
And their chilled heartbeat from underneath
The silence sweeps as I wake and weep
And reflect, I respect that I cut too deep
And your demons escaped
But in my defense, recompense was achieved,
You did bleed, but never believed in Band-Aid
And every hand laid against you was desired
You're hardwired for self-defeat

I crush myself amidst my own callous hate
Bringing to light a dreadful new fate
With scars that burn and the images they create
Collapsing, falling under the massive weight
And suddenly you surround me
Making it difficult to breathe
But all the lies you never did believe
A layer of doubt hidden beneath
Typically speaking, you never say what you mean

Phone ringing with the cord cut
     That's the way we like to f*ck
  When we know they know
                    And the walls are just play dough
               And the heat we make turns this shelter to clay
            It makes it so intense we forget what to say
     But it's okay they'd listen anyway
         I'm trying to take the time to see just what makes you tick
         And I was never looking for smoke and mirrors or obvious tricks
            Just your essence and your presence made me question what I know
     What they know
     Walls made of playdough

Dusk turns to night with the lights off
        So silent
    You could hear a pin drop
        Deep breaths slowly fill the air
Rattling these walls made of playdough
            So in sync we don't even care
    That they know we know
Taking the time to take it slow
        In your eyes I see that raging fire
    Of these feelings I will never tire
And your skin embedded in my memories
         Makes me realize what I've always known
    Just your touch and your existence erase the tragedies
          What do they know
  Through these walls made of playdough

She was dark, drowning in her thoughts
Couldn't find her way to what she lost
She was damaged, scarred from heart to soul
Too bruised to remember what made her whole
She was in pain, constantly fighting back tears
But never brave enough to fight her fears

He was young and stupid--a ******* at heart;
a self-loathing so strong it tore him asunder
The things he needed always fell apart;
the things he wanted, denied, leaving his heart to hunger

She was a dreamer until life gave up on her
Too many demons to battle but she wasn't a fighter
She made wishes on falling stars and smoldering skies
But she was cursed, the heavens told her lies
She was dead inside, yet living within the crowd
Her screams for help were never heard, but still so loud

He was **** outta luck: the world fresh outta *****
Heart and soul burning--the proverbial candle ,
and it's it only a matter of time before Xanax
fails to give him a reason to even get up
It's hard, it's Hell--it's too much to handle,
but he's too paranoid to even panic

She's too scared to think of how few people care
Never opens her heart, she wouldn't dare
Confiding in the voices only she can hear
Believing the ***** no one gives, outta fear
She's dangerous, made too many mistakes
It's all her fault she knows nothing but heartache

He's alone, he's paranoid; a self-fulfilling prophecy
teetering on the edge of extinction
A dying breed bastardized by blood and water alike
How can he be saved when acceptance Id heresy?
They all think he's just pining for the next reason
to say, "No more beginnings," and end his life

She's lost her will, her strength to survive
Nothing's figured out, no reason to be alive
Balancing her life on the edge of a blade
She gets cut, no matter which side she takes
Holding tightly to the sharp point of reality
She's lost focus, just walking through life blindly

He's a sympathetic tool playing by apathetic rules;
it's only a matter of time before he knuckles down
No more bitter Mondays--out comes the Saturday Night Special
He's living on borrowed time; it's time to pay the dues
When you tread a fine line, you slowly come unwound
come the realization both sides of the tightrope take you straight to Hell

Today, a mistake was made
              Some words were said,
      my sight went red
and my bond with you was severely frayed
       Now, I'm ******.
  Here's something that you missed
        you ****** up
     I've been betrayed
        So go to Hell and tell Satan
    you're a heathen worth hating

Today, a memory was lost
              Some things were forgotten
      I'm paying the cost
and all the love we shared has been tossed
       Out the window
  Here's something you don't know
           I ******* hate you
        I'm over all the *******
      So next time you decide to speak my name
   Remember you lost and I'm the game

Today, a truth shined through
         all the lies
   in which you relied
       I can't stand how I got ******* while you always got the best of me
        Now I'm enraged enough to say,  
             "*******!"
Yeah, today my blood congealed
               I sewed the wound shut,
       but the scar will never heal
                For this,
      I ******* hate you.
and I hope your death hurts a great deal

Today, a lie was told
      As if it was the gods honest truth
             I can see it all clearly now
  But what's the use?
      I'm tattered, battered and abused
And I'm blaming it all on you
              I've lost so much already
     What else is there to lose?
         I ******* hate you!
What story is there to tell?
          What's left to say?
      How about this....
                *GO TO HELL!!!

The sun rises in your smile
I see the moon in your eyes
Awakens my thoughts for awhile
Shining through your saddening cries

The wind blows over the subtle contours of your face
Absconding with the salt from your dried up tears
Leaving no evidence of the fevered chase
That never had ceased after all these years

The feel of summer heats up my lonely heart
With the touch of your lovely innocence
The expanse of the ocean couldn't keep us apart
Seeing your glowing eyes is worth a million presents

But that would be all the season could bear to offer
Tides would elope to the flute tune played by the moon
I'd waylay this day to stave off the coming of another
I'd freeze this day eternal knowing tomorrow would come too soon

You tricked me
Made me believe there was something
Yet, here I am
With no light to guide me
Feeling like nothing
I loved you, still do
But something's changed in you

I thought you were a lighthouse
Out of reach, maybe
But guiding me to safety...
Turns out you were the wind
Causing waves of hurt
To crash over me

Now the light has dimmed
And I can't find my way
Not without you
But you led me astray
I'm drowning, dying,
I can't breathe
And "I'm sorry" was all you had to say

I don't need you
I've seen others sail on their own
How hard can it be?
But my muscles are weak
My lungs are filling with salt
That spills out of my eyes
I can't do this alone

But that's how you've left me
To fare the dreadful ocean waves
With a broken sail and no mast
Joining lost souls in watery graves
Because your bright light never shone past

You're dead inside
I see it now, clear as the light
You stole from me
There was no lighthouse,
Just me, chasing after a dream
That I didn't really need
And now there's only darkness
As far as I can see

Poetry is the voice chattering in my head...
Never lets up... It is the voice for when I'm afraid...
Conjured up from deep looping thoughts...
Vented out through written words when the voice could not.
Necessity forged by the mind and heart.
Feelings and emotions that the core wouldn't carelessly discard.
Poetry is an outlet of sorts, tentatively I can afford.
In this realm, the pen be my sword.
Poetry is everything... Beauty spanning multiple universes...
All we do is try to have it harnessed and channelled into individual artful verses...


An outlet, escape, my hole in the wall,
where I can hide from the Hell in my heart.
You're learning to walk, I'm just trying to crawl
beneath the flak; as it once tore me apart.
I've got my demons, how about you?
Faceless legions strung through my soul;
with ink and paper, they often bleed through
From lines and verses, I regain some control.
So, if you're asking me what poetry means
I won't say much, but I'll show you my scars.
Words and rhymes slash stitches and seams,
but in my unraveling, I see shooting stars.


My escape from the world
A distraction from myself
Instead of a mark on my body
I place a mark upon paper
I watch the ink flow from the pen
Happy that it's black
And not red
It bleeds into the crinkled paper
Mapping out the story
The story of my life so far
I don't think
I just write
Emptying my mind
My messed up mind
But the mess will never truly be gone
Just temporary relief
This is my relief


Poetry doesn't mean something,
Poetry is telling somebody who knows the truth, a lie and making them believe you anyways.


The air I breathe, the life I lead, everything I believe, poetry
The truest, permanent written form, at its finest
Even if it doesn't rhyme, every word is still the dearest
It's my relief from anxiety, my calm when I'm panicking
It's a sight for sore eyes when I wake up with a hangover and a headache
The only way I can express myself, show my deepest heartache
The only happiness I have when I'm depressed, my only friend when I'm lonely
My poetry and yours, day in and day out, is like oxygen to me
I can't breathe without poetry


A poet sees rivers where veins
run, caged birds where hearts
beat against ribs, stellar explo-
sions in place of emotion.
To be a poet means to breathe
through your eyes, to find life
in the weeds suffocating your
lungs, to build an ocean
of metaphors and memories,
never knowing which is which.


Poetry is art in itself
It is our passion that is slowly dying out throughout humanity
Because humanity is slowly forgetting what makes us human
What we survive on and die for everyday
But not us poets...
Our poetry is the chain to what we are
What we fought for all these years
What we die for trying to protect
For poetry is our mortality
Poetry is our life.

Swaying her hips,
she asks him to dance.
It is a masquerade ball,
and she's taking her chance.
From afar she had loved him,
too timid to even try.
But now she is taking,
tonight it's do or die.

Licking my lips,
I wonder if he can see,
How badly I want a kiss?
Can he sense my need?
My brazen desire
To just be pleased,
One night of lust,
Infatuation and  greed

He pulled her close,
lips by her ear.
"Come away with me,
love me my dear."
Taking her hand he left,
through the crowd and up the street.
Stopping only once,
To kiss her oh so sweet.

My God, I wanna rip him apart right here
I'm so wet, I'm soaked through
I wanna lick, I wanna taste
I'll do whatever he wants to
I desire the feel of skin on skin
Please, just let us  begin!

Through the park they did run,
In a gentle summer rain.
Pushing her against a tree,
her pleasure was his aim.
Under the dress his hand did go,
While he bite at her lips.
She moaned into the night,
and rocked her curvy hips.

I want him inside me,
I can't wait till we get home,
No, just do me against this tree,
I'll pleasure him, if he just pleasures me
I'm writhing, I'm wet
I want his tongue probing my mouth,
His palms splayed on my back
Then moving so much farther  south

He turns her around,
she now faces the tree.
Throwing up the dress,
He goes on bended knee.
******* are ripped,
as his silken tongue seeks.
Her moans get louder,
as her legs get weak.

Oh, heavenly bliss
I've never felt anything sweeter
The feel of his talented lips
Just keep taking me higher
Although this is completely satisfying
The only thing I want is his entire length  inside me

She rocked her hips,
begging for more.
As upon his tongue,
her essence did pour.
He let himself free,
Sliding it across her ****,
Then slipped slowly inside,
once he was slippery slick.

Oh My, just what I was waiting for
I failed to conceal the moan I let slip
He pushed even deeper inside me
And I couldn't help but bite my lip
With every inch I felt it farther in my core
I let out a scream, begging for  *MORE

Lipsticks, painted red
      A smile on my face,
              Not seen before,
     Take a big swig from a bottle,
Drink more and more
      Until I end up on the floor
     Finally the *memories are gone
When my sanity walks out the door

        I'm now on the ceiling,
   Though quite possibly dreaming,
My thoughts are far from clearing
            In muddled moments
    I find comfort and forget
             No longer chained
      Or to my own head in debt

Swishing the thoughts around my mind
    Like a good year of
         fine white wine
   Spitting out the rotten ones
Swallowing down a few,
        just for fun
     Intoxication at its finest,
Brazen, daring, brave and bold
           Leaving the past behind us
     Out in the bitter cold

          Frozen behind,
   No longer catching up to me
     I can stumble forward
            In my plastered euphoria
     A smile on my face
I can pick up my pace
         Audacious now, I feel
Doesn't matter how much of this is real

Reality is just in my mind
           Not easily defined
    By dreams, nightmares or ghosts
             From the past
       Reality is in this bottle,
                This pipe, or this needle
     Down to the very last
Drops of fantasy and candy
                   But ****,
           *It tastes so sweet

A downpour,
Heavy flow of rain
Droplets of thoughts
Consuming my brain
The evil curses are pretty
Making me do cruel things
It's a shame you're filled with envy
Cause jealousy is so unbecoming

It hits to the center of the bones
Making endless cracks that don’t belong
It fringes to the core
making a stain that becomes forever more
But why I ask must it be
The control you have over my washing limbs
To take me in paths that consumes the dims
Why must I consider the vast of array?
You broke my heart sending endless pains
Now I lie in a soaking storm

With lightning flashing in my eyes
and thunder filling my soul
It's raging, waiting to burst
I'm under the storms control
A tornado of emotions
Swirling inside my brain
Ripping out what's left of sanity
Leaving behind nothing but pain
I don't understand
I'm confused and so sorry
Please don't feel bad for me
I deserve nothing
Especially your pity


Just allow me to rage within my storm
Leave me, don't stand by my side
You were never there for my deepest cries
I wish to be swept by this storm I so see
To wake and if it be, than it be
But I doom to my death
Plagued like a disease
Scorn to a life less end
And that my friend is
           **my very sin