Lately I walked deep into a forest near my house,
as I often spend there my afternoons and nights,
thinking about what happened in my life
and which of my available paths should be taken,
to lead me into future.

That's when I encountered a strange message
scratched in the bark of an old oak:
"Dear wanderer, please beware, as your life is on the line.
My wife, a very farseeing woman, went into these woods alone,
against my will, of course, as I have seen the dangers she might face,
Wolfes, inviting her nitty-gritty to a delicious meal,
Bears, rubbing their chubby cheeks at her,
Snakes, weaving wildly around her feet,
but most dangerous of all the whacky wicked witch,
keeping her from ever going back."

I remember sudden feelings of anxiousness and shiver
I had encountered only once before,
that was when a strange man came to my house
asking me if I had seen a pretty woman
with snowwhite hair and pretty face:
"I tried to find her all day and night long,
but I couldn't find her anywhere,
I fear my wife got lost - or worse...
as a whacky wicked witch is living here!"  

Lately I walked deep into a forest near my house,
as I often spend there my afternoons and nights,
thinking about what happened in my life
and who will be the next to come and visit
**me and my whacky wicked house.

It's cold outside,
rain falling down the sky,
foggy view, blurry sight,
I tremble with every step taken.

Not dream nor reality,
my consciousness fades,
words dance around their letters,
my beliefs collapsed.

Shapeshifting,
a brighter world sprouts,
limitless possibilities,
junctions merging their paths.

Efforts rewarded
with the sand of time,
barricades undone
time rewinds.

Splashs of water running down my face,
worlds drifting apart,
existence reentered,
my walk proceeds.

Yesterday morning
I envied your ambition into your studies and that you finished school with such good results.
I respected you for the kindness you showed to each and everyone and
I admired the massive amount of compassion residing inside you.
I smiled at your youthful craziness with which you lightened my life.
I protected you as much as I could, even if I looked like a desperate idiot.
... yesterday morning I loved you.

Yesterday evening
I labeled your words as lies and marked the actions that identified them.
I shooked my head in disbelief over your efforts to get rid of your kind and passionate self, thus
I smirked diabolically, knowing that you will never find peaceful happiness by his side.
I rendered myself in agony over the things you had done without even caring a bit about me and
I looked with disgust at the face of yours, wishing I could fill it with pain and sorrow.
... yesterday evening I hated you.

Today
I woke up with an aching head, having drunk too much at the party the night before.
I remarked the ray of sunlight dancing on the new pictures I put on my wall the week before.
I checked my account showing the last payment after I got fired at work the month before.
I repeated the moves which we learned in self defense courses I started three months before.
I looked in the mirror staring at the man you ditched six months before.
... today everything was without you.

*But why is it then, that I still can't forget you?

Everybody said, it would become easier over time.
Told me, that everything will work out fine,
when I just live my life without thinking
at all the things that happened before.
Told me, life just means living
without regrets or sorrows
enjoying every day
to the fullest.  

Sometimes  
I believe you tight.
In times with all of you
my negative thoughts fade
and you all may see me smile.
Those are the times I am free again
being the one that you force me to be
in order to see you smile, my dear friends.    
    
Those are the times you can see me alive,
vividly bright and charmingly light;
but those times became rare lately.
Frankly spoken I lost my hope
of something ever to change
and regaining the colour
forcefully bleached
out of my life.