By Arcassin Burnham

Ache in pain for the rainy days,
No one ever walks my way,
I'm killing with kindness left and right for ones that
Ran away,
I'm pealing back mangos while just enjoying the morning
sun In A trance off being a simple human being carrying
Weight of a dark past that should be fading away at any given
Moment in time of sheer amounts of stress and anger to the right
Situation of letting my guard down and possibly making a stand,
I promise mama I will be that man,
That takes care of his family,
Has everything he ever wanted,
And be the provider like it was intended out of clarity
I use to think why would anyone wanna marry me,
I collect problems like a bee collects his Honey with consistcy,
I use to see the stars as a common enemy,
While I just need a glass and as some Hennessy,
All along I had to deal with the ignorance,
But now I'm ruthless , I'm not feeling your energy.

My father died
from a gun shot wound
to the head

self-inflicted

Don't get all weird about it.

Fathers die
and their passing
though certain
is rarely easy.

So what can I say of this man
so many years
after his emphatic end?

I can say what Whitman said
of Lincoln:
"O Captain, my Captain.
Rise up and hear the bells."

But he will not.

He was ever-present
wise and alert
a boxer in life
a fighter in every way.

And I grew up with the gloves on
quick
elusive
and thanks to him
successful in every ring.  

He died
******* on a lit tobacco stick

Emphysema was gonna
take him down
so he pulled his own trigger
saved his family that way
though that's a longer tale

Therefore
and whereas
this is a belated requiem
for a man I loved.
My Captain.
Dear and departed
these many years
may he rest in peace
as he never rested
in life.

it rained today
the thunder reminded me of when i lay next to you and listened to the sound of your heartbeat in the ironic dead-silence
the flash of lightning reminded me of the spark that once glistened in your soft, brown orbs
the damp but comforting smell reminded me of your taste
the rain trailing down my window mimicked the tears that once stained my cheeks

it rained today
the rain reminds me so much of you
probably since when you left me I was as if debris ruins after a storm

i have loved you in dirt
in bathroom stalls
bathroom stalls
their tainted toilets overflowing
clogged like our throats choking on our sinful words

words? thoughts

thoughts behind iron snags
but in the wake of your mind it nagged
rusted as the levels rise, but tough as my once adamantine heart
brass bound, you left me molten, explosive and fiery
vibrant with passion

for you

in mirrors
mirrors
wide eyes and nose bleeds
to finally feel comfortable enough to BREATHE
each others air
venom in our veins
to know the other even cares
once breathless over you, now blowbacks in the damp
mud-stained jeans, lipstick stained necks
i have loved you in dirt

the greens
the forests
the difference of twelve months
the difference of a year, three months and a day
39,657,600
or 9420 seconds
11 or
6525 miles apart
two year anni-void-sary
‘skin to skin bonding’
but not how you’d think

loving you in dirt-
y, ***** girl

warm and velvety,
they touch me as we mirror.
Delicate embrace.

I sit quietly
picturing your almond eyes,
and I am content.