sometimes tears speak louder than any word you could ever say,
and sometimes scars help you see the pain that others have felt
some love can tear you wide open
and some hatred can make you stronger than you ever were before

there was something almost magic about his hands
the way the worked so skillfully over my skin
setting ablaze my desire and hunger and thirst
raising goose bumps as he went along my body again
tracing every curve, tracing every imperfection
finally giving me what I want, what I need
my eyes wander carefully over your perfect body
I have never felt this much passion and greed
my body caresses yours in the most delicious way
hips touching hips and limbs tangled in haste
desperate kisses, longing moans, needy whispers
arching my back at his aggressive touch, hands gripping my waist

Let us play a game of chance
You can start the game
It begins with a leap, not a step
But first tell us your name

jump

A hand of chance
That's all this is
A silly game of dares
Maybe a friendly quiz

jump

Now step right up
And don't be shy
I promise we won't bite
Here's a secret (i lie)

JUMP

Lets take a walk
A scenic view
And have a chat
To get to know you

JUMP

This cliff was here
I thought he knew
But he just slipped
Yes officer, his eyes were blue

JUMP

That was the game
The game of chance
And with you gone
I will now advance.

i never got to hear your heart beat
i never got to choose a name
i keep losing you before i have you
and all i feel for you is pain

i never got to hold you
or comfort you when you cried
because again i’ve lost you
and no longer have you inside

they say that healing helps you
and moving on is for the best
but how can i sleep peacefully
knowing now you’ll forever rest

i’ve cried a million tears for you
and sang a thousand songs
because in my arms my love
is right where you belong

Sadly I'm good at faking it
Yes all the times we kissed
I giggled and I blushed
And you continued to persist

You kissed my cheek
My lips, my neck
I cried for sympathy
But I'm no train wreck

You held my hand
You held me close
I didn’t mean to lie
But truth never shows

I faked every moment
I'm not sorry that I lied
Cause in the end I fell for you
And I'm the one that cried.

i simply fear death
i do not fear the pain
simply, but also so completely
because ive always wanted death
ive dreamt my end many times
in fact too many to admit
i long for the pain
the throbbing and ache
the hollowness in my soul
i long to be missed
to be cried over

i simply fear death
i do not fear the loss
completely, but how is that simple?
i fear that final breathe
i fear it will be heavy
the air may suffocate
or it may bring revival
i fear death
i fear a death alone
what i fear most
is their acceptance
not caring i am gone

i simply fear death
because no one will notice
my heart would stop
but the world will turn
no one will hurt
or notice my absence
death frightens me
only because i see
my death, my end
i will be utterly alone
like i always have been

baby my body is a masterpiece
my scars are a work of art
every battle and every victory
has had its own important part

my legs were my canvas
my blades were the paint
by night I was Picasso
and by day I was a saint

I know this probably sounds crazy
but our love is not what it seems
I know everything about you
and you're always in my dreams.

but yet you love her
and I fade into nothing
I long for your touch
beg for us to be something

the way you look into her eyes
is how I pray you'll look at me
hold me close to you
and we'll drift out to sea

lose our pain in that ocean
deep within the tide
and you will love me dearly
and I will be your bride.

blowing bubbles on a summer day
laying on the blanket, as scratchy as a lamb
wishing for a lover, a hoper, a dreamer to stay
instead of these sorry *** losers who dont give a ****

his hands were like silk;
     gentle, soft, and cold
his eyes were like the ocean;
     deep, mysterious, cold
his heart was like a stone;
     dark, unique, cold

he never really told me why
he never really gave a reason
he never talked, he was way too shy
and we didn't last the summer season

maybe if it had been different
maybe if he wasn't him
maybe if I was better
maybe if I was cold within

I love him now
I'll love him later
but we are not good together,
because we are both COLD

I'm in love I must confess,
my love for you I cannot stress
they all tell me you're not the best
but in my mind you'll never be less
because I'm in love as I confessed.

but now I'm love bound
sooner or later I'll hit the ground
we watch as the stars above go 'round
this love is something new we've found
cause now he and I are love bound.

I'm nothing like you.
he has done things I never thought I'd do
you lied to me, but I remained true.
you broke my heart, I broke a few
well... it turns out I am like you.

my mind so full of hate
we met cause it was fate
but although what we had was great
I never planned on heart break
so now my broken heart is now full of hate.

A long time ago
In a land far away
There was a young girl
Whose life changed one day
For once upon a time
in the little house where she once lived
an evil came upon them
one that couldn't be forgived
through a little door
lied a happiness that couldn't be compared
but was it true?
or where her senses impaired?
a better home and nicer parents
would you sew buttons to your eyes?
stay with this new family?
even if all they say are lies?

i loved how nothing ever bothered you
i loved that nothing ever mattered
until i realized that meant me too
then all my dreams were shattered

i loved how you talked so loud
i loved how you spoke the truth
until you used me for your own needs
then you stole away my youth

i loved that you smiled sweetly
i loved that you sang my name
until everything i had was gone
then i noticed your little game

honestly I'd never tell him this
cause I don't think he'd mind
I took the blade back to my skin
and made the deepest lines

I'm not scared to **** myself
I know I'm not cause I've tried
the only scary part is failing
to live when part of you has died

I'm not afraid of dying
I know cause I've come close
taking those blades to my skin
cause they're my only hope

I'm not worried about my end
I know cause I've seen it all
jagged breaths and shaky hands
my chest will rise.. than fall.

I see how they look at me
With eyes that hunger for skin
I see how the eat me up in their stares
Their endless thirst makes me grin.

                                                        ­   I feel them degrade me in each glance
                                                          ­                ******* me like a play toy
                                                             Eating me with their wandering eyes
                                                            ­    This is why I don’t settle for a boy.

To be wanted is my worth
Their sole desire
To hold me and love me
Would ignite their little fire

                                                         ­      I cannot be looked at in such a way
                                                             ­     I feel ***** from their careless eyes
                                                            ­   The way they imagine me bent over
                                                            ­                          A part of my soul dies

I love the way it feels
When he puts his hand on my thigh
How it feels to have his lips on my neck
And know he's not a nice guy

                                                          ­          I hate when they glance my way
                                                             ­     and saunter over like were friends
                                                         ­                  and how he tries to touch me
                                                              ­           and begs this night not to end

I love it when those bad boys get handsy
and beg for a touch or two
and plead for a peek
and say I'm the kind of girl they'd *******

                                                        ­                     *to be desired in such a way
                                                             ­                            makes me sick inside
                                                          ­                    I just want to be a good girl
                                                            ­               and be someone's cute bride

There is beauty in desire a bit of joy in false hope
happiness is strung like a rope around your throat
there is no light within this life
there is no cheer in pain and strife.

I see no point in smiling
when all were doing is filing
the pain we've suffered this day
and how we cannot forget yesterday

there is no happy ending, unless
we somehow find a way to address
that we aren't fulfilled by want and desire
and we truly deserve the fire.

I wish i was a doctor
To have you surgically removed
I'd stitch it up quite nicely
I shan't be bleeding
Nor will I be bruised
If i must
I'll do it limb by limb
I don't care if you don't make it
I'll i need is you off my body
I think you're a disease
Threatening to choke
I'm dying on my knees

I put my headphones on
To drown out their
                                  screaming
Just close your eyes
                                   till the break of dawn
And then it will be over.

Last through the night
Just shut off all emotion
You'll live through the fight
Just don’t hear the
                                                                ­  constant
                                                    ­                                 commotion.

Avoid the thought of pain
And think not of the
                                     bite of their words
Outside there's pouring rain
And their voices
                             fade into nothing

D
   r
     I
       p
         p
           I
             n
               g
                  ,
                   dropping of the words

Thinking they alone are up
That nothing will be heard.
But not a single thing
                                      blurred.

I may learn to ignore
All the things they say
like my father
                         has a *****
And I may know her name.

The constant thought
                                      has gripped my mind
What if there's divorce
Think of all I'll leave behind
If I have to choose who
                                                        **I

                                                               love


                                                              ­              more

~feelings, emotions, thoughts; it's better when they're on paper than in me

controlling, devouring, killing; it's better where no one else can ever see

longing, needing, begging; don't ever let them know that you really care

degrading, using, misleading; don't ever let them in on what's really there~

i see you smile at me from across the room
our eyes play a friendly game of hide and seek
i go over the pros and cons of a polite introduction
because your grin has made me weak
it seems that in this the good out weighs the bad
so i goofily saunter over and you wink
i am utterly baffled at your face up close
and it was suddenly hard for me to think
it seems so casual to talk to you like im not terrified
and i even laugh a little when you ask me to dance
im still waiting for you to up and leave
because i simply refuse to believe in romance.

I know I always say you fell for me
But I know it was me that fell
And it was you who held my hand
But you only helped me back up
To let me fall again and again

thank you for trying to save me
its really so sweet of you to do
but how are you going to save me
if you cannot even save you

I fell for you like a falling star
flew past you and you missed it
I was bright for that moment
I shone bright for a little bit

I made you a promise that I intend to keep
I promised to love you..
I promised to never let go..

I swore we would never really say goodbye
I promised no more lies..
I promised never to hurt you..

I know that I can hold onto this
I promised to care..
I promised I wouldn't leave..

I told you I can't live without you
I promised to comfort you..
I promised to hold you..

I want you by my side forever
I promised to be goofy..
I promised to be only myself..

I wish you were here right now
I promised to never change..
I promised you forever and always..

**and I promise no less than that.

I've been writing in different styles
Trying to find something new
Yet it seems that all the good ones
Are mainly about you


Joshua if you're reading this
I just wanted to let you know
I could live a million eternities
And still never let you go
Because when i say i love you
It's not just for fun
I didn't think that i could love
But yet.. you're the one
The one who gave me hope
The one who loves me through my flaws
And now everyone knows
See the standing ovation? Hear the applauds?
This is not some crush
And you are not some guy
I know it's way too soon
But this life is for you and i

And for everyone reading this
Please share your words
And tell the ones you love
The things they've never heard

I love you

Tell me I mean nothing
tell me you’ve moved on.
Tell me that it’s over
just tell me that you’re gone.

Promise me you hate me
promise me you do.
I promised you forever
I promised I loved you.

Now everything is ruined
now things have gone amiss.
Now I need you more than ever
now that you stole me with a kiss.

you walked into my life
and then you walked out
leaving a trail of emptiness
leaving a trail of doubt

I opened up my heart
and opened up my thighs
only to find you don't care
and all you said were lies

I found a pair of glasses
Just the other day
And when i put them on
I saw the world in a different way
The colors all seemed brighter
Edges seemed sharper
And when i closed my eyes
The darkness.. seemed darker
I find myself liking
The way i look
With my glasses that i found
Does this make me a crook
I didnt steal them
I gave them a betrer home
On my face
Neither of us will ever be alone

I fear goodbyes
because what if they're the end
You'll go from my lover
Back to a simple friend
Oh how i hate to say it
To leave that word on my lips
Please stop me
Stop my words with a kiss
I beg you
Let this be deferred
Please wait a while
That is what's preferred
I wont say it
That word that haunts
Goodbye
I refuse to leave you
It's always been you and I
Please dont make me go
I promise ill behave
Dont say that word
And promise that youll stay

As slowly as the day turns to night,
i know that falling slowly for you was right.
Because little do you know that it's always been you. The one and only.. i want to remain true to..
as quickly as the rivers rage,
and as quickly as I turn each new page
in our story were still writing,
i know that in time we will see the silver lining
and see that all this time we've waited
was worth each moment anticipated..
because i know my love for you is real
and i will never lose that zeal.
As each hour passes and each day goes by.
I find new reasons to love you
and things that make me dread goodbye.
So never make me say that, don't ever make me go... cause then we would never have forever and always... we would never know..
what the future holds and dreams to share..

never forget.  I love you and i care.

I grow tired of the way I look
and tired of the way I feel
regardless of your choices
what I felt seemed real

I gave a lot of time to you
I gave a lot of words
but everything I ever said
just always went unheard

I sang you all my love songs
and kissed away your fear
but you never reached out to me
cause you were never here