A silent symphony plays in the background
Soothing the atmosphere of its whispers and tears 

There's an aroma of quietness all around 
A hint of madness in serenity it bears 

Tommorows cease to exist from now on,
and can you not hear ?

Life singing the yesterday's songs,
To be lost in the approaching calmness my dear 

Time slows down to a halt 
Too tired to move and caress the impending doom 
And night saves the memory to be kept in a vault;
Safe and hidden from the looming gloom.

And I lie in ecstasy 
a dream I longed to dream 

A fading reality 
To be erased of all that I've seen 

And I recall my oldest friend 
A hope that I banished long ago 
But it haunts me again in the end 
And the hope to feel alive grows 
A spark in the embed darkness 
Ignites the desires I locked away 
And it possess me once again 
To let me please my whites and greys 

And I bleed of all that poison 
That this world and I brew 
Letting go of all the answers 
That once my soul knew 
Slowly but surely 
The coldness I nurtured, is replaced by the warmth of my sin,

And I wonder with peace 
What the morrow may bring ?

And I wonder with peace 
When the morrow may ring ?

And I dream away my life 
As I exhale my last precious breath 

Forever lost in my sweet dream 
into the approaching beautiful death.

my mind is exploding,
I'm having an attack
fending the darkness against my back
so much crap i have had
but i am so sorry
my bad
it was me who put me inside this pit
not the people who never gave no ****
as i was burning alive
fire running through my life
I'm trying so hard but nothing no longer fits
It's a mess
man in the mirror screams at me to look at myself
i keep my eyes closed but i can't get rid
oh man, i hate this kid
i hate his face
i hate how it fits so perfectly on mine
how he sits cold and lonely all the ******* time
telling his story in weird voices and stupid rhymes
talking like a curse,
a heart to purge
growing cold with time
my head is aching
I'm so numb waiting
every time i see the sun shine
it starts raining
and every morning i say goodbye to the stars fading
my scars aging
there's no one out there for me waiting
I'm lonely
i hope i better be
for i wasn't meant to love
i'm not complaining
but its makes me sick
that i can never live with what i don't have to give
I'm still weighing on a blade razor thin
wearing a mask painted with a grin
but no one ever looks in the eyes
crooked and grim
he's a sin
it's a sin
but he won't let them in
the mute can't sing
i remember a time when i wasn't this cold
but now the kid's old
looking back at no-one and nothing

sometimes in november
when the winds aren't so cold
pieces of grey days together
then do not so easily fall old

I can still sing if i will
strong enough to mend my words
what speaks of a broken heart
drowned in the waves of its hurt

her face ignites what was once dead
breathing life into the thin air

I've lost so many voices inside my head
that I see people standing everywhere

talking about what was and was is
her face rots; the thought makes me sick
entangled so deeply in the arms of his
the last kiss, must've been a fool to resist






by tomorrow if december
is not here
there will be blood in the air;
without the snow-flakes burning
there will be darkness everywhere

in that silver haze i will seek
all those memories
that did not leave
set on fire for their greed

gathering a storm
about to sleep

here i bleed colours
of insanity,
what i see, of what i hear
what i think, what i wear
and when i'm not wearing
any skin.

wearily my eyes catch
glimpses of universe,
and of much beyond-
in those colours dancing
on the walls of my keep-
just as i fall asleep,
never wanting to wake again.

there's pain, and then
there's nothing,
absolute in its chaos-
so true, loyal to its creed,
it never bleeds an ounce
of anything, no matter
how much you scream at it.

there's nothing true,
not even the light
even the moon-light
splits in seven
on day, and past eleven
if you hold a prism
up close.

and yet here,
in this tiny room
with no doors-
the colours dance for me,
and i'm not even blinking.

thinking about all those
curses, that still plague me-
ghosts and evil and friends,
and laughing my head off-
as i put my head in the ***.

maybe i'll finally lose it
before the night ends.

melancholy sits on the
pavement, on a cold autumn day.
enjoying the music of a
thunderstorm, and screaming.

dreaming about the winter
yet to come, become grey.

submerged in the tunes
of a dark morning that is seeding,
beyond what any words can
convey or design.

watching the elements
of the sky growing and leaving.

how silently this picturesque
of almost nothing,
captures the lonely corners of my
unfathomable inflammable mind.

watch me as i suffocate
at the corner

of this malfunctioning
room

where all thoughts come
to die

and decompose into
boarded windows

and cracked walls

old and vast
traveling as i have

circling me as i
draw a line

ever further from
me


\PART-2||


cold blue eyes
stare at me

from between the
spaces

and there's no place
dark enough to hide


\PART-3|


there's a grave divide
in my smile

of all those things
i couldn't whisper

and bring to life

always breathing colours
into the corpses

making love to the ideas
in my folding head

unbecoming of the caught
dread

that grows into new days
and old nights

witnessing the many storms
that have knocked on my door

to lure me out in
the open

where the world can
haunt me

possess my conflicts
and scars

it's alright if i die

here, and now

in this endless moment
that we live in

and call home

where everything's pretty
all the time,

malfunctioning.

a floating space man
in the pitch dark
dark cold never ending sea
stretching forever and far
he watches all there is
and there is always more
in every inch of this nothingness
you'll find all there is to know
about your god
and the god that is here
in the silence of the world
naked and rotten
spreading through the stars
old and forgotten
with an ugly mask
and a yellow smile
there goes the space man
in his kingdom at last
a face darker than night
in eyes of a thousand stars
illuminating beyond edges
of the dark cold depths of the sea
all across the universe
would you still won't believe
that the man in the sky
is every man that will be born
and made of all he will see
and of that he won't
space man isn't home
maker never was our father

I'll eat you in your own kitchen.
It wasn't a pleasant start was it ?
...Let me start on a different note. 


How about a story on Bratt ?

Bratt was funny maybe a little quirky but man did he deserve his fate ?. Maybe not but again - I'm an animal. A disease that rots you from inside out and slowly devours you until your last moment, where i feed you to the fire and burn you alive. While i dance as you scream and sing as you begin to fade. I am that kind.
The most disgusting sight you'll ever have the pleasure to witness. I wear a heart of different kind but let me sing about bratt first..

He lay on the grass-
Ever so softly he wept,
Eyes watching everywhere,
As he drips in sweat
Anticipating my company
And withering in fear 
Oh, that moment
I can't bear,
I hear a song,
Of a different kind.
A symphony so beautiful,
Playing on my mind.
And then I dance,
Oh, I eat upon his grave,
And I can see god,
As just the light fades.


I thought that was too many emotions on a single page and i can't help myself for being a sappy poet riddle maker.

I strangled that kid. Then I ate him. I ate him. Enough about me though, I'll tell you a story, read very carefully.

Once I met a man
Eyes I couldn't understand
The air 
Ate away all the sand 
But the hourglass
Still pour
And upon his ashes 
A phoenix soar.
His wings mighty 
In its shadow I saw the stranger 
And I heard his whisper 
I was the death angel 
So I pushed him inside
Till I saw my mother 
She was screaming something
But I couldn't no more 
Ask my little brother.


That's rotten, I made no sense there. Did I ?. I mean I can clearly understand what the heck I just wrote but someone reading this might not. Danm he won't. It was my dad, he started all this. Fed my delusion that violence is the key to all happiness. I was smart though, and with a little hygiene, I am in a much better shape. I'm not blaming him, I'm sure those fancy doctors and scientists will all agree with me. Let me write something for them as well.


Ugly duckling never became
-Beautiful.


That's all I can preach about it. It's complicated. Now, I would present my case to you, so you can judge me better. I once killed a little girl because her mother couldn't take care of her properly. I felt pity. See, I am capable of pity. My point is, I killed a little girl out of pity, then I ate her. That brings us to another glimpse of utter nonsense.


I once killed a man 
Because he was happy 
And I once killed a man 
Because he was sad 
I once killed a man 
Because he was sappy 
Oh, I once killed a man 
And then I killed his dad.

I love twosomes, three is crowd, and I would like to point out, I am a bad man, If you haven't noticed thus far. You can either **** me or I keep on killing. Ask yourself 'what would have god done' ?... nothing. He doesn't gives a **** about you, why would he ?. If he did, why did he make me ?. So, I can **** innocent people. What exactly is mysterious about this plan ?. He enjoys when I **** people or why wouldn't he stop me. I don't believe in god though, just messing with you delusional kind. You can all believe in a man floating in the sky but the truth is, I am your god when I **** you. Trust me on this, god is in everyone. You just have to claim him. 


I ate little birds,
When I was small.
Then I ate a cat,
When I got a little tall.
I have so many creatures,
Hidden inside the walls.
But believe me when I say,
I drank all their tear drops-
Every last of them.

Well, the reason I wrote all this down is because I want someone to know my whole story, right from the start till the very now, But again I can't let them walk away. So, I do this thing. I tell them everything. 

Claim me your king 
Let the metal sing 
Kiss you, and bid you bird
So long, fly.
Now close your eyes 
Stop believing your lies 
You are nothing ever-more 
I am your king,
I whisper and you die.
If you turn around 
you can see
I have an axe,
Good-bye.

somebody save me,
have me; love me;
tell me i'm living for something,

hold me, unfold me;
it's cold and lonely
by myself; tell somebody
to solve me, dissolve me
into pieces and find me
before i make a castle with
no doors or windows,

inhale walls and fences,
to fail my days for empty nights,

to sail on sand, in search
of an ocean, that bled
when i pulled out my broken heart;

take me and give me up
to the waves, as i age;
before any realisation,

give me a page and let me
be lost at the sea,
miles away from any
civilization.

the need to write is taunting my head, i've screamed so many times but there are still monsters under-neath my bed,

if it's alright then, why am i so pleased to be upset, is this world just a lie, is it just my mind and when one day i'll be dead ?

it doesn't make any sense, there's not enough fuel for suspense, it's as simple as it gets, multiply it by complex

life is just a paradox and that's all we ever get, learn and forget,
get trained and then get canned for being a lonely pet,
if there was only a place to rest, when we're tired and have questions, because guess life's just a test,
why is that so hard to be blessed ?

i've confessed all my sins but there's no forgiveness to my self,
they don't know how to read my words not in ink, and i know that for myself,
if i ever want to run away i can't, you can never escape from yourself,
and it gets harder if you ever find that you have nobody to tell,

that's a one way ticket to hell,
you have only your soul to sell


smoke is just a reminder of what was, something lost-
travelling in circles and out of depth

it's so hard to stop for a moment and take a breath

i fear death, as i fear life

there's nobody else left alive, in my head everything is dead, nothing survived

i'm an apocalypse and there's no place left where i can hide
every thought is another battle that i have no strength to fight.

the storm is awake and the moon has swallowed the night,
i don't know what to do, i can barely see in all this light.

it's gonna' burn all night, inside of me and it's gonna' burn all of me alright.

karma **** me in pieces
I have no guilt
the house you've built
has no walls
and my all
everything I own
is out in the open
alone

set in stone
my unknown fear has
broken a heart that
won't have no faith
oh, how much I hate
my wait
to die young

karma find me
tell me if I'm alive
I have a question
why life ?
there must've been
so much more before

open the door
and let me in
karma,
it's so cold outside
and I'm frozen within
my tears are ice
cutting my skin
and bleeding an ocean
of nothing


tears don't mean a thing
they don't exist
stop resisting with all your strength
you make me sick
I think I will die
before you can get rid of me


I think I've faded before
but that wasn't my fault
it was not me
someone else got caught
it was so long ago
I must have forgotten
he was not me
I've never been any rotten





















autumn comes and goes
but I find no birds
the trees won't talk
I think I'm lost
where nobody knows
somewhere in you
switch on the lights
see me as I am
I've always been yours




leave me be
there's nothing else to see
I've seen all I can
but that's not enough
to buy an ounce of dream
do not scream
you don't have to whisper
i won't linger for long
i do not belong here at all
inside these walls
****

wait till you catch
a glimpse of the scars
hold your breath
and maybe let it all sink

after all we are who
we are;
take the rain and
drink it in,
let yourself sin,
sink

you only get to live once
you don't have to be
a warrior,
you can spend your nights
counting the stars,

see how big the sky gets
and how empty it is;

to be filled by
your dreams
as limitless as
thunder in the sky,

look in the mirror,
look yourself in the eyes;
and no more lies;

tell yourself why,
it all made sense that one
night,

not so long ago,
when the lights where
bright, and the time
was slow,

nobody was running,
nothing was
searching, everything
converging, conversing
with the conscience,

there was no science
to hold you back
you made your own;

as you walked away from home
and now it doesn't matter
what you own
you're gone and things
don't remain how they are,

the further you go, the louder
it gets, and you can almost
hear your heart beat,
you'd rather leave the world in a
heart beat,
and never look back,

you've bled what you could
bleed, and now you've slept
enough times that you've made
peace with the sleep;

your eyes have had enough
to read, and now you cannot
stop complaining,
or keep up with the world,
contemplating that they are
all just sheep,


and you've seen enough to feel,
and you've felt all there was
there to steal,

it's everywhere and it seeps
into the veins,
and it breeds a forest;

and you're lost in the
wilderness, bewildered,
ready to sacrifice

so that you can meet
her for one last time

it's in your mind
and it feeds on you
it seeks you whole

your voice is gone
those eyes blind
and the demons
dine on your soul

and now i don't know,
how to find
a world you once told me of

how do i chase the shine ?
my lungs are full,
legs cold

when does this stop,
is there a cure,
where's the doctor ?

i'm caught in my thoughts,
running away from any doors
some were locked by her,
made into walls

and now there are just
too many of them for me to climb,
and i'm not sure
of it all,

if they were ever mine,
castles and ruins
in my mind,

were they ever
mine ?

now that i am
sinking to the ocean's
melancholy floor,

and at the bottom
i find myself lying
to myself,

how i am no more,
and this is all but a dream,

and how i'll wake up
in a scream, and i shall be old.

she was
violence

the violet
dream

they saw her
on weekends

when she
was lonely

dancing for
the winds

mixed with
ecstasy

she tasted
like silence

mixed with
whiskey

stronger than
most

stranger than
nothing

she was
she was
she was

Bell chimes at a distance, as the winds call back the dusk
Dark clouds kiss the skyline, as they march towards their fall
In a hope to conquer, they've been possessed and cursed
Desire for a kings throne has crippled them all

They seek a kingdom, riches that lies beyond their dreams
And to see the strange, rejoice in what's not known
Ready to forsake their freedom, traveling where they've never been
Ruined homes, wandering in the darkness all alone

They come across a wall, every brick holds one key
Each to one gate, that'll lead them far away as they can be
On the same path, but every step leaves a print of its own
Deeper the mark, more the weight is  Borne

They barged through the gates onto the field
Mirrors all around them and wet moss beneath their feet
They seek a reflection of their own to mourn and weep
As they walk in confusion beyond the woods, deep

Bones littered about the wicked land as a warning
That the one who crosses, may not see the morning
Devoid of reasoning, thoughts stuck in their grave
Symphony of destruction lurks in their eyes, fades

A pile of corpse rots in the midst of a darkened meadow
shine of the moon dances along with the blazing fire
Each on his own scatters about, a shadow follows
Consequence for this trespassing will be more than dire

A strange creature looms about the cursed land
In each palm he holds a blade made up of silver and gold
A name without a face, where one falls, he stands
Warmth leaves where he walks, leaving a trail of dead and cold

Only welcomed if they invite him in, he lures them with greed
In a void full of darkness, one will believe what he sees
And he watches them approach, forsaking all that could be
Shine in their eyes, pulling them softly to the crease

One after one cascades, reaching for the hand that glitters
And the pile of the corpses feeds on his own kind
Fear erupts in chaos, as the sanity in all but one withers
only one to make it out alive was the one blind

Ingenious, that clever man is heinous, completely outrageously mental genius.

but again what's in the name if it's just a game and the dream is the genie in us

so rub yourself and pardon me, but learn to love yourself, stop guarding me.

the you in me is swallowing me,
the me in you is always following me, i
don't get how i can forget you're which part of me, *****.

i don't regret but if i could, i know, i would cut you out of me,
go ahead, give a head, see if i have a **** to give instead, for i'm just as dead but let them ghosts shout at me.

end the lie of me, i've had enough to see, and if i cannot be free i cannot be,
there's no end to me. you don't know anything about me.

because it's not about me.

it never was, it was me, i was lost, counting all my flaws, writing down in ink all their laws.

everything that they taught had some thing that was not alright,
but i could not stop because i did not have it in me to fight.

maybe i was a coward but that's how it works when you're used to the night.

the sun is too bright, you're confused by the light and the world, there are no words left to describe your hurt.

and you need somebody to hold you tight but it's just cold and you're old with no one by your side. **** that girl, right ?

the one who did not leave you alive.

left you down to drown into the sound of your screams that you dream every time your mind means to lean on what had been
but is not, because everything else has died. but you,

and you're still being nice. *******. all you care about is you, what about me ?

can't you see ?

i'm pretty, depressed, petty and obsessed with my thoughts suppressed caught in stress and it's hard to digest that i must ingest the mess of my nothingness,

my mind cannot rest, there's a world war going off inside of me, outside i'm lost on me, there's a god but maybe he's not aware of me, can somebody please take care for me ?

**** that, i don't need you here for me, i'm blessed and sold in my serenity, and i feel i must inject my-self with hell, if i want to get rid of me,
just for a moment riddle me, don't tell if can spell what's in-side of me, i'm so usually out-side of me, so foolishly wise of me, to have a doubt when it's not nice of me to trust you to trust me.

there's so much i do not speak, so much inside of me that cannot dream,
i do not sing well, but there's so much to scream, and nothing to tell to anybody.

well, that's not true for everybody, maybe i'm afraid, what my mama will say,
what papa will say, when i'll be nobody on my way, sitting in hell, meeting everybody.

but again what's in the name if it's just a game and the dream is the genie in us

Ingenious, that clever man is heinous, completely outrageously mental genius.

hey there my pretty princess
all you have to do is say yes
you feel so good in my arms
please love do not leave yet

help me keep my soul wintry calm
take me before the sun sets
without you my heart will mourn
break into nothingness you've never felt

I will be drawn into another storm
unlock the cage where demons dwell
I know there would be nothing left
and I know you'll never be able to tell

where did howling rain meet the eyes
and where the lonely tear fell
Keep me from your poisoned smile
you're the dream I can never sell

standing there you look so lovely
there is nothing more I crave
then to love you absolutely adorably
please come here near and save

me from wanting you so madly
or I would be consumed and fade
and you won't find a trace of me sadly
go away before you make me your slave

while my head gently weeps
and my soul is awake

i find myself drifting
a length in time

and there's nothing that
i can do

but pass softly
onto the next moment

marked by days and
months of restless afternoons

breathless nights awake
smoking aimlessly

trying to recall your
fading face and

the things we used to
talk about for hours a
lifetime ago

how is that every sad
thought leads me back to
you ?

separating thoughts
      from my head


fighting the demons
     haven't slept

awake every second
    nobody to tell


this is hell
this is hell
I swear, it feels like it

this is hell
nobody to tell
i fear, i'll be like this

forever in my soul
nobody to love or hold
watch time grow old
a heart gone cold

how do you live
like this anymore ?


there's no spell
this is hell
i swear, i'm so naked

nothing to sell
this is hell
my dear, i have waited

for so long
in this lake of fire
that now i am nothing
but ash
and you'll always be
what i could never have

a part of me
bearing my black

a dream unsold
never be, untold

how do you
get it all back ?

for i swear,

this is hell
this is my hell
i swear, it's mine to keep

nobody to tell
all i have felt
for an eternity

somewhere within me
burning me

for this is hell
this is hell
i swear, it's true

this is hell
this is hell
my dear, here without you.

here, somewhere lost in deep ways
i talk to myself a lot these days
somebody put a stop or i'll de-cay
haven't slept, now it has been three days

heaven has wept, all that is kept must be repaid,
if you put your mind to rest, the thoughts will eat you away-
don't look in the mirror lest you'll find so many things to be said,
and you'll hear them whispers;
don't mind regrets that one day you will learn to hate.


so wait for your turn to burn before you find a reason to stay,
if you see the sun you'll see the moon but you're blind by the peasant day
if there's no noon, only monsoon, how soon would the time fade ?
with nothing to do, the sky wouldn't be blue, how much gloom can a mind take ?
is mi-ne fake ?,
because i can't find no fun in a pleasant day

i'm not trying to find a clue but is it true that the dying stays ?
i'm nobody new but somebody you knew does that count today ?
you're a strange man you, every time a different view, so many mistakes,
but i really know you well, oh hell, don't tell, i pray, i do
you know me well too, we're the same you and i, we're one, we're two

a thought and a *****, a lonely dream that never grew, a rotting plague
i'm so afraid, the demons i've made will all eat me alive,
small and tall, breaking all the walls, in the night, in the light,
how do you fight ?
with an ocean by a broken faith,

i talk to myself so i don't ever forget this place,
in a room full of hate, it's easy to regret the burnt flakes,

the burned flames, screaming into the stunned tears,
nobody to blame but our own fears, shunned ears, closed eyes-
i've lost so many years to the earned lies,
now i don't need my own cray-
but i keep them astray and close by, so alone away

i breathe stray,
i thought you could stay

tears in ashtray
nothing to say-

here, somewhere lost in deep ways
i talk to myself a lot these days

somebody put a stop or i'll de-cay
it was never supposed to be this way

h


h













        H O P E













The little child kept walking through the forest. Only ever stopping to look around to make sure nobody was following him. He was running away from home.


















His home was a thousand miles away from where he was at the moment. Afraid and lonely. It felt only yesterday when he sat by the window within the warmth of his home.
















Now all he saw was strange and confused. His eyes were having a hard time adjusting to the frequency of this wander land.















There was something barren in life here. Something felt made up and painted. There was no taste in the air. There was no feel to the wind.


















Yet, he kept walking on. In silence and alone. He was sure nobody else survived. He was sure he was going no where.



















And just before he was about to give up. There was a flash in the sky. So bright that the sky almost melted into a night. He felt it.
















He felt it rising through the wind. It was making his heart beat faster. The bright light burst into a big cloud of fireball, almost divine by design.











The little child closed his eyes and bent down on his knees. This was salvation.

A few seconds later, he was torn apart in pieces.














h