demons and ghosts
and things

i cannot compare

frolic in these ruins
made of despair

many a moons have
come and gone

since the sun's
disappeared

and i still look
for you,

everywhere.

screams and moans
litter the scape

swirling in storms
no soul can escape

and here i sleep;

scattered
with no shape

wandering the dusty
old shelves

settled in a picture
frame,

frozen in silence.

i wish i had a few words
for the things i cannot explain

if i tell you about my hurt
would you tell me about your pain ?

or seek me through the dusk
and as far as the ends of the rain

if i only have for you is love
would you love me back the same ?



of all the things that i've seen
now they slowly blind me

even if this ain't a goodbye
you'll never know where to find me



tears wipe away the slate clean
and with years no one can reclaim

and once i had this dream
where we were young once again

i hope the forest's still green
and that the ocean hasn't changed

if i only have for you is love
would you love me back the same ?



of all the things that i've seen
now they slowly blind me

even if this ain't a goodbye
you'll never know where to find me

this loneliness it speaks

it seeps into the atmosphere
and creeps into my lungs

and i'm drowning
gasping for air

trying to read
between the lines

before the words
disappear

and i am consumed
by the dark.

there's nobody out there
behind the voice

all there is
is this vacuum in void

filled with rotten
flowers and emptied sun

drifting around the
asteroid belt

where frequencies
are sung

filling sequenced days
from the last

in various ways
blooming into melancholic
art

alcoholic space
and in an unholy flask

sailing across the page
between the lines

not enough velocity to
to escape the mind

stuck forever in this
fallen place,

diseased and blind

isn't universe just
a cage that

no poet can rhyme;

nobody can hear you scream
on mars, nevermind.

i've got you on edge
you've got me by the blade

deep down in my head
we're still not yet awake

something here is dead
stains we cannot erase

sometimes i'd like to forget
violence i cannot escape

between tears we shed
we've made ourselves a lake

and the water's still red
painted blue by our mistake

the rot in you has set
and i can see the lights fade

reflecting secrets we've kept
and i can see them on your face

even though we've just met
there are feelings i cannot fake

since i've tasted your dread
i cannot let ghosts go to waste

and the demons i've fed
dance naked on this empty page

even though we've just met
nobody else can take your place

you still haunt my fears
and dreams

i've blocked out the sun
yet i can still hear you scream
across the lights

and i can still hear you

your presence burn
feed on the dried tears

prance on the memories
enslaved by the forgotten years

and i sit inside the
pages

cold and alone i yearn
learn about the melancholic
corners and spaces

trying to paint
ghosts and their faces

ash leaves behind no
scars and no traces

cold and alone i yearn
frolicking on ends
frozen forever and sedated

the wheels have spun
in arms of someone
and everything else has faded

but your presence
still burns

the flames igniting
the nights

across the skies
and seven seas

as far as the time
can see

you're everywhere
dancing

so naked so free

and i have an eternity
of nothing else to be

but be mesmerised
by that that i cannot see

haunted.

chemical nights
city lights
and the isolation

farming dreams
while they scream
in my head

loneliness eats
and it repeats
in synchronisation

insects crawl
while people talk
in my head

gnarly roads
vapours from smoke
and annihilation

words i write
have already died
in calming insulation

and the rot
has set;

the dark coming down
all over me.

i know it hurts
but it's better than pain

tangled words
mangled shapes and names

ash to dust
washed away by rains

scars and love
nothing ever remains


in this endless dusk
can you tell me what is true ?

travelled the world
only to come back to you


thoughts converge
electrifying my brain

passion surge
pulling ******* chains

swallowed the curse
now it swims in my veins

tomorrow's blurred
drowned out by the stains


in this endless dusk
can you tell me what is true ?

travelled the world
only to come back to you

only to come back for you
and it's better than pain.

i lost myself
today

waiting for ends
to reveal

gave in to my
dismay

confused by what's
not real

other side of
the door

people rot and
disappear

of only thing
i am sure

that you were never
really here

what are these
for ?

chronic feelings of
despair

i'll only hurt myself
more

trying to eat away
the layers

in this vacuum
of cold

there's not a gasp
of air

where emptiness
bleeds a soul

i'm spiralling down
the stairs

and of only thing
i am sure

that you were never
really here

that you were never
really here

that you were never
really here

that you were never
really here

beneath the moon
the world's still dark

ocean's are dead
haunted by the sharks

turned on its head
the knife won't stop
bleeding

filled with summer's debt
winter's not worth breathing

it's only september
and ghosts won't be leaving

children are fed
but mother won't stop
grieving

shut those eyes
while they're still sleeping

thoughts multiply
and scars keep breeding

cut open the alive
while they're still speaking

voices of dread
keep repeating over and
over

**** everyone
be free

stop believing.

fade into the summer
darling

my arms don't wrap
around the winter no more
as they used to

feel the forgotten sky
bless us with uncertainty

and rotten eyes
stare deep into our soul

watch the children of autumn
cascade one by one

breathe in the spores,
the residue of a thousand lies

those that burn
far away from where we stand

and yet the ashes
won't spare the distance

nor this golden sky
save us from the approaching
dark

and one by one
in the winds
we shall fall too

clinging on to each other
ruined by our dreams

melting into the stardust
kissed by death

i want to rule the infinite
perish in flames

draw a naked kingdom
and wear dead butterflies

raise the dead spring
buried beneath my feet

watch the summer cascade
until the autumn dies

take a sip from every
ocean and barricade

until i am withered 
and broken,

burning holes in the sky

i want to slay
every forest 

and make love
to the barren lands

find animals and stars
**** away the man

watch the planets fall
from where i stand

until i am withered 
and broken,

burning holes in the sky

just like the timid child
i am.

©writeweird

it's like a haunted house
and i'm the ghost

there's only sand here
and i'm on a boat

won't you come and
find me

i have a knife
against my throat

won't you come and
find me


before i am lost ?


it's like a funeral pyre
and i'm the corpse

you don't have to be here
nobody has to talk

the dead can't sing no more
they're already gone

i know you're not really here
it's just the song

and i miss you.

breathing heavy
one two three

i have an urge
to rip apart the world

**** them brothers
and sisters and lords

none is mine
to keep

here i weep
in my melancholic ruins

where september reigns
against the cold

untold scars
simmering in my veins
turning me blue
and red

my head
full of dread
the dead
and everything that
comes in between

i can sing a song
but there are no animals
on trees

whole kingdom is dead
and buried

beneath the hurt
screaming in my heart

i must admit
i'm only a bad dream
and nothing more

if it all comes to an end
today

i'd be glad
to disappear

until the end of time.

not today
said the man in the mirror

hope is dead

monsters under the bed
are reaching out

the world on the other side
is screeching loud

and i have to find the devil
singing inside my brain

plead him
to take over
to find and contain

for i need his poison
to colour me red
to fight and sustain

breathe fire
and stoke my breath
feed the flames

take away the calm
that has set

from years of being
on this side of the mirror

not today
today we rise

cut open the lamb
give in to your scars

there's only a whisper
to comfort your soul


wandering the lands
searching the stars

world's going to wither
back to the cold



find me in your dreams
strangle my breath

look away when i scream
you don't have to be here
with me inside my head


you're torn at the seam
in same ways as i

i'll tell you all that i've seen
only if you promise
you'll be here when i die



in the forests green
where the devil spies

will you find me there
even if i never tell you why ?

dust is falling down the sky
dead people don't want to love

too old to say my good bye
i'd rather die than become rust

monsters need a place to hide
how about giving them your soul ?

you'd rather **** yourself twice
why is that you still feel so cold

you won't understand a thing
if you don't disappear now again

go back to where they found you
withering away occupied by the pain

let them sing you another lullaby
you are nothing more than a curse

no stars to keep you company
so diseased by the melancholic hurt

waste away your life as you've done
since the last time that you were born

no nails to bury by the sailing sands
only dust remains where you were sown

and dust is falling from the skies
ailing wind shall ****** all your thoughts

people who live are the ones who die
no place for the people time forgot

take all your evil and put it in a box
bury it inside you and keep it locked

in time your veins shall turn purple
here and now, there is no god

so take the fire and burn the wordless
you're worth less now as you were taught

forget everything you learned before
it's time to **** them all as you desire

mix that silent poison to the fire
the light shall find them like a moth

open your mind and let them in
every monster that hid beneath your bed

and the shadows they could never see
let them all in - and set yourself free

there's only this one world to destroy
make it yours before they do the same

paint your name across the sky
and watch the dust fall ever so slowly

soon there's going to be a sea of ash
and tides as huge as the swollen scars

and they'll eat into the world you've known
watch the dust fall down from the stars

you know in your heart what's right
they had you blind
before you could ever learn to see

so, **** everyone and be free



**** everyone and be free
before they take it all away from you

and you're left alone
dancing to the winds full of rust

you have to **** your thoughts
and ****** the sky - ash to dusk

you must never ask why

people who live are the ones who die
no place for the people time forgot

and there are no goodbyes
here today with no one dying in your arms

and if you look up and listen close
you'll hear the dust falling from the sky

dust is falling from the sky
dust is falling from the sky

and the dust is falling from the sky
dead people don't want to love.

september roars through an autumn
and the silent dark winter howls  

back to the cold, dark and the rotten
and i can hear the reaper near and prowl

memories cut my skin with the sharp end
and the ghosts lurk beneath the stairs

and i lock myself in a box with my torment
trying to stop burning in this cold air


there's stark darkness everywhere
inside my skin, outside my mind
it's there on my sullen grin
in the voices i hear all the f'cking time

it's in the smoke i take in
it haunts me at that place beyond the pines

it's even in the dawn that's breaking
in all those yesterdays i've left behind


and i still hear the whispers
sometimes,
when i shut my eyes as hard as i can

pretending to be shut inside this darkness that knows not how to love a man

and for a moment,
silence becomes a long lost friend

until the end
until the end is here

you talk about flowers;
i want to shoot myself in the head

you talk about the sky;
i want to slit my throat and go to sleep

wanna' talk about the love gone sour
or how hard are whispers to breathe ?

gonna' talk about kings and cowards
and how them wolves wear the sheep ?

how about the sad things by a lonely hour
ghosts and tears they bleed

doused in flames of ink and its power
where the emptiness sleeps

beyond the everglades

so when are you gonna' dig deep
and turn to a different page

like back in second grade when
everybody made the same mountains,
a triangle, with river maybe a beach

when are you gonna' pretend
you're in a spaceship not on an
old ugly *** wooden seat ?

like all them other poets
too broken to weep

open your mind
there's an ocean to blind

and dead lines to complete

no hurt or violence to teach
happy childhood so good
got no stories to preach

only apples and peach
deep down where your sugar coated
hands cannot reach

don't understand a thing that
comes out of your tame mouth
your ******* doubts out loud
creep the **** me out
and i'm about to pick a creed

maybe we're just a generation of creeps
too eager to swim and hardwired to speak
too tired to think we're machines
metal and fire we're only wired to repeat

not go out of way down the road
with bag full of ale and smoke
enough to make a pained man choke
they say tragedy is comedy plus grief

in dark i know one cannot read
only the owls
but it's clear that you cannot tell
if it is a wolf that howls

clear blue skies from hell
when hounds prowl

what it's like to spell
when you're filled with nothing
but a void and a voice with two hearts
and halves of syrup and bleach

and yet you're so full of salt
and then you fill yourself with walls
mannequins and statues and dolls
watching the dead space
as the dead pace in empty halls

as the head breed


for gods sake there's so much
to hate and to forsake
the happy times cannot even compete

stories can never be complete
they take a life of its own
monsters and demons only reap
where they are sown

the mind can only lead thus far
every heart has a mind of its own
eyes that only read at the dusk hour
right before a new sun is born

and you want to talk about flowers ?

nor a fox not wise
with claws and pipes

a forests breath
with death ripe


just a day in paradise,
that's all i pray.


no fool for a price
nor a herd for a prize

malfunctioning slight
chocked with parasites


just a day in paradise,
if it wasn't for today.


spoiled thoughts
and foiled spite

caught then boxed
with no air to bite

lost and left,
kept for the nights

in transparent red
herein painted quiet


just a day in paradise,
for the one who pays.


in a stranger's head
with debt of dice

where heaven lays
and the dead shall rise

seven solemn days
that'll never come twice

mourning for prey
by a mornings pride


just a day in paradise,
for a day in paradise

if it wasn't for today.


kissed by the fire
shut with wire

no word nor desire
and made in ice


broken prism's charm
in arms of a lover
born away and in white

doused in hope
and not a dime to pay
no dream nor life


just a day in paradise,
and it'll never go away.


where beauty slays
and inferno hides

dante's meal
and a mountains might

where a valley bleeds
from a pelters diet

melting the stones
and people alike


just a day in paradise,
that's all there's to say.


whence scars bleed
opened far wide

and the hour sleeps
in fear and fright

where words fail
to tell and describe

rotten and stale
fighting the lights


just a day in paradise,
for the one who stayed.


nor a fox not wise
with claws and pipes

a forest's breath
with death ripe


just a day in paradise,
and that's all i pray.

i loved her and sometimes she loved me too
and all i ever was, too scared to lose her to another.

i miss her and i know sometimes she'll miss me too,
but not the way i have and certainly not the way i do.

only if there was a way to love someone
even more perhaps we'd made it through


and so i loved her and sometimes our love felt so true,
but you never know why when sometimes the feelings just die

and why the truly bless'd are so few.


now when i hate her at times i blame myself for having loved her true
but she was never mine and all we ever had is now lost to the time,

and i can't tame the bleeding blues.


i loved her and
sometimes she loved me too


and i try to find meaning in words
of the great Pablo,
but there's no healing only this
mutual satisfaction of knowing,

that he felt the same way as i  do.

even though we're not the same
nobody can tell anybody else's pain
though it's just one hell
and we'll never find each other again

at the very end
the only man in the mirror
is lonely you

but i loved her
and i know sometimes she loved me too.

bad kids don't die young and
tomorrow's just another day we fail

bad kids don't buy guns but
they swallow bullets as they wail

sad kid don't be shy, son;
they'll take you away just like the winds

look at that sad kid,
he don't - won't have none

still he wants to play
with them shells and ale


mad kids don't break them,
there's this jail with no walls and doors

bad kid - but he don't hate pen
swords and blades don't cut it anymore

sad kid don't be shy, son;
they'll take you away just like the winds

hey, mad kid - why don't you try some,
three's a crowd, fives a doubt and six a sin.

hey, sad kid - why don't you buy some,
take it in and they'll fix your grin.

hey, bad kid - you won't die young, and
they'll take you away just like the winds.

just a moment more
please hold on tight

been livin' in torment
but i'll be home alright

nothing for me to forget
don't have no words to hide

been livin' my regrets
but i'll be home tonight




i watch the sun set
and watch the moon rise

dreaming of tomorrow
in love with the moonlight

so tell me your sorrow
fill my hollow with your sight

have no stories to tell
and got no enemies to fight

no roads to learn and follow
wasting away miles and the life

got so many pills to swallow
i'd rather **** away all the lights





just a moment more
please hold on tight

been livin' in torment
but i'll be home alright

nothing for me to forget
don't have no words to hide

been livin' my regrets
but i'll be home tonight




nothing for me to say
you say my dream's too bright

i tried but you didn't stay
now i've got no bones to bite

no gloom for me to pay
the man in the mirror has died

no room for me to pray
got no demons for me to oblige




just a moment more
please hold on tight

been livin' in torment
but i'll be home alright

nothing for me to forget
don't have no words to hide

been livin' my regrets
but yes, i'll be home tonight.

why do men die for other men ?
what compels them to give up their lives for the lives of their fellow men ?

is it love ? is it duty ? or is it just plain madness ? is it that bond of blood ? or a promise to be better ? or is it simply what being a human is ?


the same men capable of destroying a million lives in pursuit of their own ideology ? the same men who for the purpose of their own greed and need can ignore the very definitions of civility and liberty and justice.


can we still call them men ?


what is happening at this hour in this nation, a nation which is thousands of years old and in making; isn't different from what has happened in the past and unfortunately that is going to happen in the unsuspecting future.

people are turning to an ideology that not only imprisons the free bird in the sky, but also retaliates if it so chooses to lay on a different branch.

diversity isn't celebrated anymore, but rather is frowned upon by the masses, who believe that past holds no relevance over the future.

acceptance, and the very creed upon which the great men who came before us, and made us who we are today - their legacy and wisdom is being demolished, like cards in the winds; and just like the structures of the ancient, for they no longer are painted with the colours we are familiar with today.


sheep and wolves alike, are being chased by the blood hounds, cornering every whisper with words of the system, a system that has been diseased from the inside, infecting the very veins of this great nation that has stood the test of age and it's many a poisons for millennia and more.


bit by bit the great walls of knowledge and of the enlightened spirits are being razed down by a mere fool in different costumes, performing in a circus build upon the ashes of the innocent and the innocence of the communities that now long for blood.


the very nature of this great and grave divide, is unnatural, passed down by the same set of hands that once pulled the chains and carried with them - forcefully, a plight of millions, suppressed and then set aside fanatically, all in the name of a devotional creed.

lizards in boxes pretending to be voices of the free and humane, casting their spells on the fragile and a blind audience, numb by all the back and forth between the gods, and as always, only the peasant suffers.


how many more homes must vanish before we realise there's no magic in the disappearing of colours, and the despairing remains of the one's gone, painted across the streets in black and white, begging for somebody to give them their proper funeral.

it is men who take life, animals don't **** for their sins, they never have, for they don't know what it's like to be tamed by fire.

they'd rather burn, than become more like us.

maybe that tells it all, and maybe that is why, the devil may have horns and hoofs, but it never haunts and hunts the wild.


we are what we love, but we become who we hate, always - in the end, until something worse comes around to make things better.

meet me there
where the world ends

i need some air
for there's no friend

nobody to share my woe,
and i always count to ten
before i take my life.



sincerely you had me
and you have me,

surely you must have an idea
what led you to me
to the place where i hide


and i'm dying in circles
in this circus
circled by the circus
going deeper

take me to your home
i want to see how you cry
behind the closed doors
where the real you lives

not the one
you keep for the people


i'm so poor and dry
i can't even give you me

nor have i any dreams to trade
and i'm going to waste alone
i don't even need your hate
to remind me of the reaper

blinding me of you,
chasing me through
this heaven


and oh look how
i've killed myself again
you didn't even see me
count to ten,


eleven.

the calm won't quell the storms
deep inside where darkness spreads

and the arms won't tell the time
to the old man dying inside my head

love thy neighbor yells the stone
two wrongs won't make a night

love thy neighbor and make a home
love thy neighbor and **** his wife

love thy color and take her home
where you can spend her right


and the calm won't quell the storms
painted on the walls hanging tight

and the arms won't tell the time
levitating in melancholy from a hight

mustangs and rodeos and clowns
****** and unicorns and knights

dead bodies wearing golden crowns
mystic fetuses and the lonely scribe

love thy evil and paint the town
hold your breath and hold her tight

for in the void one hears no sound
before the voice turns off the lights


perceptual obselesence and planned reasoning, conceptual presence and a relaxed evening with a spectacular sight






metal against cold skin
but the thought is breeding
caught in box and lost
with channels repeating

angels falling from the sky
and the devil is eating my brain

love thy evil and love thy dye
for the heart is beating for the pain



love thy evil.

alone and cold
on a warm summer day
bleeding my ever breeding thoughts

caught in a storm
a thousand miles away from home

breaking down
every brick and stone

for there are no windows
here in this room
where the gloom blooms
another melancholic day

far away from reality
in midst of a whisper

dying every so slowly
as the cells in my brain wither

waiting for a winter
to bring me back to
the room temperature

so i can shed my skin
and paint myself with ink
on these empty pages of a story
that i'll never write

night after night
just turning the pages

bright lights and confused
pretending to die with every breath

with monsters in my head
and poison mixed in my soul

reading words
of those other poets
that'll never know of my name

such a shame
for together we could've
completed each other

without ever saying a word.

across the mountains and high seas
i want to travel as far as the moon can see
and still a little more to numb my thirst
as far above the sun as below the dusk

until the night howls and winter combusts
all around the spring singing of hurt
until the autumn grows loud enough to rust
until the day burns and stars submerge

wandering down the ways uphill a bliss
where mermaids drown and the gods sit
somewhere far where the flowers hiss
and all the pieces are where they fit

there where the clowns cry and live
from nowhere to across all the towns

carrying not an ounce of pain or a crown
in temples of Angkor with nothing to give

at the end of a rainbow and rain profound
the hollow windows and barren grounds
from rotten whispers and forgotten blitz
where demons prowl and angels ****

very depth of hell and under the ground
i'll travel as deep as a melancholic sound
under my skin crawling all the way down
the thunder and my sins all in a 'round

where the lights are dim and bound
with my plastic grin and elastic faith

down the road where none can be found
i'll wait there and sin with all my hate

so come for me before i go to waste
so come for me before it gets too late

so come for me before i close the gates
so come for me and come with a blade

so come for me before i fade,
so come for me before i name my price
so come for me before i wake,
so come for me before i take my life.

get me a plastic girl,
and i'll sing to her my plastic words
i'll giver her the plastic world

and we'll live in a plastic house
with a plastic cat and a plastic mouse
a plastic heart for a plastic mouth

plastic inside, and plastic out
an elastic skin for a fancy crowd

a plastic window and a plastic couch
where i'll sit alone with my plastic doubts

watching the plastic rain cold and loud
drinking away the plastic south

filling myself with that plastic asteroid
i hear a plastic voice and black plastic joy

i have a plastic sorrow and my plastic toys
there's no tomorrow just this plastic void

can you see the smile and my plastic poise
painted classic pink on my plastic floyd

plastic me in this plastic noise,
a plastic droid.

©writeweird

my sins poured in a can
steel sides don't let me break free
and there i hide with my plastic smile
by myself for them all to see

and i have this rubber mask
that goes well with my pain

i know i was never meant to last
with all this poison in my veins

but if i could be free
would i be me ?

and words are 'round
asking me what's around
what's that sound,
what can be worse than this ?

and words i found
they're all buried in the ground
what's the count,
what can hurt more than this ?


for i've kept a few names in my basket
i've ran the miles and now i'm past it
holding on but i know i wouldn't last this

for it shows when i smile all plastic
my skin isn't bullet proof but it's elastic
so bury my soul and burn the casket


and melt away all the plastic,
melt away the plastic

what can be worse than bliss ?

old summer days,
forgotten whispers crumble
mummbled the whisperer
carrying the begotten ways

marrying the sunshine
birthing the whistles and grey
a sinister mind occupied
riled by the golden rays

sat by the meadow's brook
pouring cigarette's in ashtray
petrified of the ways earth is shook
from seven sea's far away

as the dead men watch in horror,
the living, and the words they say
down the shore where they found a book
passed down from hands gone astray

down the shore where they found a corpse
too lost to see, for free to he who pays
drown the soul and bury the tree
or the river shall find way to the men of clay

so pour the sky some *** and see
a drunk asteroid void of any hissing parts
on its way to kiss the grinning sun
to death and until life does them apart

maybe this world inside my head
won't be just another tale if i take a pill
sing to me and don't make haste
else the wasted would fill the ill

sing to me and don't you wake
the poison in my veins harms and ****
bring to me your morning grace
the demon inside my brain has no will

i'm so ***** since i ate the thrill
filled the whisperer and now it's a song
on the television a summer plays
in a loop of silver they don't belong

outside the winter claws against a home
breaking free of the last whisper
frozen in ashes written on the stones
regretting the moment he kissed her

for the summer to spend
and mend into colours those don't fit
weaving a piece of a puzzle to sit
and mourn the ways to miss her more

breaking thunder for the pieces of me
this place where kid eats kid,
the science doesn't cut like a blade anymore.


©writeweird

bursting through his skin, the insects crawling on the inside found their way to every corner of his soul, and he stood there wrapped in agony of a thousand burning suns, and the moon was ever present as it has ever been.

the battle was lost ages ago but only now the seeds were sprouting from the ends of a forgotten symphony, played by the devil, and groomed by the ills of a broken man.

the light of a thousand burning stars couldn't save him from this darkness, casted by the absence of one mere lonely ball of fire, barely big enough to leave behind a legacy that would survive the approaching end everything there ever was has to bear, and live with.

and in that moment of utter despair and pain, a song was sung, from across the different lands and seven seas, as far as anybody has ever gone, whispered out to the cold by the whisperer, seeking a final good-bye, one last of times, and as many heart beats.

the sound never dies, the swollen winds can find their ways to any who dares to listen, to breathe it in, and swallow it down.

as it did that one night before the spring, at that lonely hour, for the man in the dirt, fighting his brain from exploding.

as he lay there in trance, his face stuck to his knees and arms wrapped in a cloak, to keep the demons away and insects from taking the last of what remains, mumbling to himself broken words left clinging in the deepest corners of his diseased conscience.

at the very end, there's only light, for darkness will lose any meaning, any sight without a spectator, it would cease to exist.

and maybe that was the reason, or maybe it didn't have one, just like a million little tales flowing in every direction, on this excluded part of the universe, in depths of blinding darkness, barely visible to the naked eye.

but whatever it took, the magnificent sun rose as it has done, faithfully, for as long as anything can remember, to feed the tiny little speck of nothing, one more day in the awakening.

the spring had come, and the man was free,
and all that is left was stardust.

wake, i'm waiting in my sleep
hate me if you have to,

here have two,
take this and blind me,
and tell me so-

do you still love me ?
love me in everyway i need you to
i need you to fill me,

blue and through, me and you
confused by the passing afterthought

i'm going back and forth
glancing at the hands of the clock
why don't you fall into my arms
and make the tick tock go away

we can sit and talk
about life and so much more
all you have to do is be here

and all you have to do
is hear me sing your name

so come before i wake
and the poison leaves my veins

run to me before the sun
swallows my hate for you

and these hollow words
paint us into a new story

that a billion years from now
won't even matter

the forever we promised
broken into pieces
that no one will ever gather

what does it take
for the dreams to be strung together ?
such that they never break
no matter how many times we do


and such is the weather
the sky grey and the winds with blues
how much of mind does one need
to feel better ?

when it's never going to be your day ?


for the heart's been broken
since the day we said our good-byes

and we're all just drops in an ocean
watching the land drift away beneath
our feet,

away from our eyes-
and all the hunger we seek,

so just a moment more
i need to find you in my head

just a moment more
and then we'll all be dead

and i can go back to sleep

©writeweird

little people
small people
people full of scars

riddle me people
why the feeble mind ?

why bother time
with your reaper's heart ?

cry with me,
when I read you your tar,

filthy hands, guilty stars
many men, any man-
but yet i see no flowers

nobody's awake at this hour

and i've slowly spent all my
will to live,
i repent the kind man who
sought this thrill to give,

frozen smile, stuck by the clock;
locked in place and stiff,
opened files, an omen dies,
and he spoke with a slight lisp

munching on something
light and crisp,
searching for nothing,
nothing's as vile and sick;

reaching for that one thing-
that gun thing, them rocks and sticks,

how about that sun thing ?
what would a son think,
when he's burdened by the mist,
pretending to be human enough
to pretend that he's amiss,

amidst the chaos and the risks,
forgotten names and letters,
from faces that he don't miss-

and they think it gets better
the more you drink and fish,
so ink yourself a moon, and
buy yourself a letter-
so, you can sin, sing and wish

for some time alone.

in the withering whispers
as a new lore begins to grow and fade
take an oath, a vow that will linger
i still don't remember
how i forgot her face

wake me from this lonely dream
of having nothing more
before my time
in all those tales heard and seen
i can't make out which one was mine

feed me before i eat myself and
let the rust sleep through the doors
we cannot be saved from ourselves
even though, i am not who i was anymore.

this is what i remember
and this is
how it will be

and this is my december
this is my deep slumber
and this is
the only way i know how to be free

this is my memory
and there is
nothing you can take
from i

this is my city
and this is
where they all come to die

these are my blessings
mixing with my sins

i made this leash
and now it makes me want to
sleep forever


and i'll give it all away
i'll give it all to you
just to see how you'll look

and i'll sell it all away
all of me - in red and blues
just to free me from what you took

this is what i remember
and this is
how it will be

and i'll give it all away
just to have a place to be


and if you find me someday
don't disappear as soon
as i count to three

and this is what i remember
and this is
how it will be


and i'll give it all away
to find a way far from here

and i'll live it all the way
until you find me there
cutting myself open so i can see


and this is our december,
but i know you don't know how
to feel no more,

this is my thunder
and i'm drowning far too under
the blankets to feed

this is what i remember
and this is
how it will be

until i leave

and this is what i remember
this is what i breathe,
how it all will be.

this is what i remember

we do things, we say things and so we breathe,
we love things- far away things, and so we bleed-

some blue things, some red ones, and some come with ink,
some done in dusk, some burn to dusk, some are green-

some new ones, and the old ones, and some with the sheen,
turned into a few guns, two bullets- one cold sun,
and one with a dream.

and I do things, i f*ckin' say things, and so i greed,

i brew in ink and then i glue my sins, i sew the smoke rings- and then I grieve;

i confuse things- in a few drinks, and the smoke will be freed

so, I can feed- forever, going 'round in circles.  whatsoever for, sleep ?

rest in peace
inside my mind, in my heart
with love and the pieces

you never know what you're
about to learn, or burn

until it reaches the throne
on the stone, the third rock
beyond the shine, where you've
been seated.

here without you,
i too have - all i've ever needed
the secrets, and the pages

and nobody can read it.

and you can bleed it, feed it,
you're my only, the only i have
ever needed.

here without you
i'll try to fill myself with
everything you've left me behind

i'll set myself on fire
and lock myself in, in time,

maketh the man,

and keep it.

---

hello darkness my lone friend
tell the truth of what we've become

i can't see in the dark
and i know you're lost too
without a clue in the blues
breathing in the violet violence

listening to the silence
waiting for us to make a sound

but no one's ever gonna
come around

and the day will go on
just the same, here without you

we'll never be found in our pains
and that's all there is to it


six feet deep into the ground
heart first into the coal

and the charcoal skies still speak
of the rains that drowned out the noise
and they ******* scream about you

they scream in my brain
and they dream in my heart
they find a way to tear me apart
but they find a reason to make me
fear the shards, the sharp and sharks

swimming, and breathing a firestorm
and there are no angels only a
thunderstorm, bleeding what is gone

---
written in the stones
on the snow covered trees
and i swear, i'll miss your voice
for as far as i can see

and i'll make your void
a part of me, as far as i'm free

and i swear, i'll love you today
and i promise i'll love you
now and every day for the rest
of my life, here without you

so, sleep my child
and i'll be there for you
singing to you a new lullaby
every night for the rest of
my life, here without you

and i don't care
if nothing again is ever
about you

and i won't fear even
if ever it starts to pain again

i'll be here, i swear,
here without you.

here without you,
and always be about you.

and i'll be here till i hear,
i will, and i swear, until you
make me find a reason
to remind me,

nothing is, and will be
ever without you

here without you.

so many things playing
in my mind

some with fire and
some with stones

some with ice and
some with desires


some same and the strange
some with twice the price
and some with things strange
in love with the throne

maybe i've lost all that i have known
maybe i don't like the nice world
it hurts and i contemplate

i try to weave it in into words
and navigate my way

say it in two words or less
or they're gonna' lose what they
cannot comprehend or barricade

i wish i could learn how
to use them bullets and not
hesitate when it precipitates

the heat is too much
and the world's going dark

help me find somebody to love;
i don't mind the bodies until they
burn, find me somebody to participate

in my own disintegration
degradation into my sworn filth

the worms swarm into my veins
and atop the blue cascading hills

my mind is casablanca
there are torn castles and
the ruins of a queens thrill


there are screams and more
screams and more screams
and they dream and they scream
more screams and the dream
is broken.

my eyes are open

and there's a man
staring down at me

three in the morning.

and there's not a mirage
in this room, with this gloom.

here comes the doom.

boom. blossom. monsoon.
the sun. moon. and the stars.

scars and hours.

through the ever glow till
the ever last,

planets near and far,
a cosmos far too blind.

oh, of all the things playing
in my mind.

and the tomorrow

will it be any different ?

a thousand year old
constellation crashing
down after a billion years of spring

will it be coherent ?

when the dust fades
and the smoke travels back
deep within,

will it be transparent ?

the sky and the moon
the sun and the monsoon
the love forever and the gloom

though it's only september
i can see another december
beyond the pines- behind the doom

blossoming, in love with the fall
as i sit and contemplate the dark,
that has engulfed this room,

the kid must die,
and the kid is dead

so kiss him good-bye
before he loses his head

put him to sleep
i know he wants to rest
and dream his life away.

the seed must unfold into
a forest, lest the barren tides
will sweep all away; in ways.


metamorphosis can happen
tomorrow, always.


so, let the kid die;
and the kid is dead.

too late to hide
to pretend to be a namesake
forsake the people
and go deeper
deeper than the knife
you can take

it's not all about life
everybody is alive
and the dead won't tell
you any of their secrets

walking in dark alleys
watching faces go blur
from one station to the next
and they know- and I know
they won't comprehend my laws

i come in the end
and then come my flaws

i eat my brain in ways
no spices, or dices
no gamble, there's ample
to cry about, and the ice
won't thaw

keep following me
but you'll lose me too
you won't know a thing
because everything makes
no sense

no, it won't make no sense
at all, cause' you can't fill my shoes

the noose is loose
and i hear the whispers
of the fall- i'm gonna fall

i was never meant to exist
but i lived and i loved and i crawled
and i sipped on my sins, neck
too deep in the water and the
laughter won't let the boat sink

i hope i can cope with the world
when it's my time to be sober

right now I'm in pain

but I'm so afraid

what if tomorrow- like that,
it's over ?


it won't be all over the news
nothing new- people die all the time
you don't know my mind
and i don't know yours and
i don't know mine, and you
don't know yours and even if
we want to- we can't- and i know
it'll haunt you, me, us- but it was
so wrong of us to never find the time
to make a better world,

words- smoke and the rebel
a broken heart that hurts
words choke me and the pebbles
roll down the hills, and submerge
the rock in its grave-

it's safe to say, we can't stop ourselves
from making the same mistakes
the longer you ink, the more it fades
the longer you blink, the better it breaks

brittle to the core, too late too little
so, come hither and i'll tell you
all about how i ******* wake
everyday without a soul.

it's true, i don't want to live anymore
i've given up on that- but i can't
stop bteathing- i've tried and all
it does is makes me ******* grow.

they tried to burn me down
and now the whole town knows
the ******* lore

come **** with me
i scream in my dreams
and i never lock the door

you think you know me
i implore you to explore
you can't even follow my rhymes
you think you can map my mind
and i won't just explode ?


you can't claim whoever i am not
to be, you see- the blind don't care
if you roar, and i'm too deaf and dumb
to be stupid enough to not **** the
cupid, that cute kid, this cute sh*t-
so ******* crude and sick,

and when you taste the blues-
you forget all that must have
come before,
sometimes ignorance is bliss,
but that one rhyme, back one line
the thought in my mind

but oh, i can't tell you
how beautiful a mind can be
when it sees the light

it's fine by me, i don't find
reality to be that much saner
of the things i'm not sure

so, i implore
let me die, good-bye.

(i have died)

and all that will be left of it
will be another night.

(a good day to die)

melancholy sits on the
pavement, on a cold autumn day.
enjoying the music of a
thunderstorm, and screaming.

dreaming about the winter
yet to come, become grey.

submerged in the tunes
of a dark morning that is seeding,
beyond what any words can
convey or design.

watching the elements
of the sky growing and leaving.

how silently this picturesque
of almost nothing,
captures the lonely corners of my
unfathomable inflammable mind.

avi died a painful death
last autumn.

he used to talk about
it often.

never saying a word
but his words-
well they were rotten.

nobody cares though
nobody cried
nobody died;
and he was forgotten.

he was here though
and he did grow
for a minute or two
that once-

into a forest
that was boughten
his only begotten.

he died in vain
his veins, he shot them.

took out his eyes and smile-
he had just got them.

i remember watching him
drink his sins and scars
from afar,

the world filling with howls
and his insides with cotton.

sun going down and the naked
trees, the leaves and him

all of them.

hitting the rock ******* bottom.

avi died a painful death
last autumn.

and. i am. still. alive.

.
.

.



watch me grieve
watch me suffocate.

write me down in words
(i'm not that important)
in a page somewhere
to be forgotten.





watch me breathe
watch me hesitate.

watch me love
watch me eradicate.

educate the demon inside
(that he's not alone)
there's a king-
for a clown's crown to levitate.








and a queen with a heart
that is rotten.

and here i live, here i contemplate
with no air on the plate. no food in
my lungs.

here i sip on the tears
that navigate.






down my throat
mixing with the red
of someone.

so, watch me explode
and paint the floor white.

the mirror shows a faint
blur of a man dead, and his
death alive.









i blink. ink. wink.
i think. i am. done.

i'm too afraid to ask twice.

i will explode
and you can quote me
your price.









stab me a thousand times
and i won't be surprised.

i am so green. and the smoke;
choking me on the cigarette pipes.

how long has it been ?
since you stopped walking
upright ?







are you not keen
to see things to be seen.

have the tears dried ?

or is it still raining
wherever you go ?







how long ago
was the last time.

you thought would be
the last time ?


tell me when you're done.
and tell me.

did you survive ?

find me and tell me,
that it wasn't easy.

blind me and sell me,
hell with me, i wasn't easy.

mind me and spell me,
paint me in dusk and daisies.

remind me of the hell in me,
tell me, how it consumed me maybe..

baby, lately.. it's been...
it's been hazy.

if you ever find love,
find me and tell me
that I wasn't crazy.

it was always true.

Gandalf: a character ( wizard) from the legend that is lord of the rings
...

chapter - 0:



he was walking past the useless lake on a breezy autumn day when the gust of wind brought with it the scent of a thousand abandoned garage bags littering the corner of this semi unorganised semi-civilised halli part of a mega city.

his home was about three thousand kilometres away and a dozen hundred dialects removed from where he chose to pursue his 'higher' education.

a term he took literally and to heart.

he was almost always high, if that's what you call being semi awake and always clawing somewhere deep, both mentally and sometimes even physically.


but as soon as the cacophony of a thousand different bad smells hit his soul, he knew the trip was over.

he jolted back to existence from an escalating thought process leading him to the discovery of a new and a better universe.

he took a deep breath and immediately regretted his decision, almost screaming in horror.

and while he was battling a lost battle trying to defeat an invisible and impossible to contain force of population and pollution,

his smoked eyes latched onto a figure emerging from the corner of his smoked eyes.

he suddenly realised where he was. and it wasn't where he thought he was about two seconds ago.

leaf-less and life-less trees stood where he could swear was just an empty slightly orange and red sky a few milli moments ago  

the lake had turned from blue to a shade of green or was it still blue ?
he wasn't interested at all, so he just gave up reasoning in mid-process..

what difference does it make ?

but suddenly his mellowed mind  realised the threat, and his attitude changed from i-don't-really-give-a-**** to oh-****.

there was something else there too, and he, like a ******* cat- turned around just in time to see what it was,

and the time stood still. he couldn't believe his eyes.

it was    gandalf.

**** it. he was sure. ******* gandalf.
with a ******* stick, his beard and that grey whatever. gandalf.

he took a deep breath again. it didn't hurt as bad as before. maybe it was growing on him. he took another breath just to make sure it wasn't. it wasn't.


and as gandalf started becoming bigger and bigger, he could see his mighty white beard dancing in the wind more clearly. he could sense his aura radiating a wonderful positive force that was almost impossible to describe with a naked eye and with an F  in communication skills.

gandalf was finally a stone throw away from the boy. he could throw a stone at him. he could but he wouldn't. no, he thought about it but no. it wouldn't make sense. it was too insane of an idea too. he wasn't yet ready to accept his true human nature that enjoyed the absurdity of violence.

though he was a hard-core stoner.  ah irony and puns.


instead he took the more scenic route and almost mumbled " gandalf?! what?!?! "


it took the old white man a second to register but he managed a sudden " gand elf, what?!? "

it wasn't awkward yet. but it was india. so it kinda' was.

the boy almost trained in apologising professionally and profoundly, mumbled " oh, no.. I'm sorry.. I just.. you know.. there's this .. dude.. people do cosplays now.. and I was a little high... ahem.. I mean I was thinking.. I mean I saw.. you.. I mean, I swear you're looking like a ******* gandalf.. I mean gandalf ?!?! "


another gust of wind and they both frowned.

gandalf responded " who .. what the **** is gand elf ?!?!"


the boy " he was supposed to be a dwarf like something.. but he become a wizard and tall, you know .. fought a dragon.. and rode giant birds.. ?!?! "


not gandalf " what the **** are you talking about, what is wrong with you, you're not making any ******* sense and I, I'm .. hey, you see.. just saying, I'm very good at making sense, that all "


the boy " so, are you like a ******* teacher or a .. scientist?!? "


not gandalf? "ummm.. well you can say that.. something like that "


the boy " what do you mean, for all I know you could be a perverted ******* who also happens to wander the woods doing weird cosplays and killing people. "

not gandalf " the ****, kid ?! jeez.. simmer down.. that TV is insane, you guys ******* love it.. **** man.. I should have stopped that from happening... and video games! god, they ****.. I should have just killed the lot of you.. " and on went a rant the strange man


the boy " wo.. wo.. whoa.. wait, you're talking like you are better than the rest of us...are you on crack ? what are you even saying you ***... you're more like someone who pulls on broken strings on a hand down guitar on some shady corner of an immaculate subway... you're just a boomer, are you not, mister ? "


strange man not gandalf " well, in a way I am.. I am.. well, I am everything and everyone" he whispered..    a satisfying smile almost breaking out


the boy " the ******* mean ******* ?!? "

this was too much for the old man who was just having a walk and minding his own business

he whispered more angrily his time " oh you punk, you little punk I'll tell you! I'm ******* god, you **** .. yeah, **** it.. I'm not even kidding.. I'm ******* god, yeah!... **** it *****!. "


he took his hand and pointed to the sky and the clouds parted.


the boy couldn't believe his eyes, and almost suddenly the clouds began to form a shape.

he couldn't make it out at first, all he could see was that the old man who claimed to be a god, drawing something in the air.

he looked up and finally realised what it was.

God was drawing a giant duck in the sky.

and as he was staring up in a mixture of disbelief and horror,  the old man spoke loudly " that's you.. you sick ****.. it's your little duck. "


old-man-now-god-went on "... I mean it looks like a big duck 'cause you couldn't see it otherwise.. but drawing to ratio... it's your little duck.. and the whole world can see it now.. and they know it's small.. and not as big as it appears because it had to be big enough for everybody to see.. "


the boy was now going insane. anybody would. people just don't turn up, part clouds and draw ducks in the sky.. that doesn't even happen in movies.



the boy went on- a little horrified of what he had just witnessed " what kind of a god are you, I mean... what in the god's name was that ? how did you do it. ?"


God responded with squinty eyes " which part of i-am-a-*******-God did you not understand.. you.. you stupid mortal. "

from the depths of darkness a flicker of light emerged in the boy's mind, and he realised something very important..


the boy " hey, you can't be god, god won't ******* curse! he's god. " screaming cautiously at the stranger...


God had heard petty arguments and had gone through all that phase of  people taking some time to turn around and warm up to the idea of the literal god in front of them, he'd been over that all his life.

but this was the single dumbest thing he had ever heard since he made the decision to create the universe in a hurry.

God thought to himself " I should have paid more attention. meh. "

one more thing- the boy went on " why are you a he ? not a she ? I mean if you're a god why be ... I mean an old man with a stupid beard. why not somebody hot, and cool... and with a nice body and a face... slightly better... or maybe much better..  you get the point, right ? I mean.. you're god, right ? "

God just stood there and soaked in his own filth.

the boy went on hysterically " oh my... did you hear my answer even before I said it ? did you ? I mean can you ?... and did you ? or was it you that gave the answer.. 'cuz if you made the universe.. you made me too, right ?. "


God was annoyed. like really annoyed at this point and he blurted out " you think I made you ? you think one fine day I woke up and I thought to myself.. oh! I've created this beautiful but empty place full of darkness and the cold, spectacle of fire dancing in nothingness- breathing life in ***** of all kinds circling around the stars and what not.. and you think I was like 'what am I missing ?'... oh yes, right! I'm missing one ungrateful ******* snake with a little duck. "


the boy stunned " God ?!.. No, **** no! "

god almost curios " why would you say that. why did you even speak , why! "


the boy " my duck .. you know.. ain't that ... small. "



God almost smirking " shut up, *****. "


the boy " oh, yeah.. right you... really know how to abuse your own species. jeez. "


God " I didn't make you ... I ******* dropped my dope in the ocean once and you ******* things came out of it. "

he went on " I thought you'd die on your own but nah.. life's too nasty.. ugly and ... you know... it's.. admittedly... quite beautiful. "

time stood still as soon as he said that.

and it was a beautiful moment. both god and the boy trying not to turn red or cry.



" but the sad part is.. " God whispered with the love of a thousand cuddling pandas " you guys found me, I mean... oh my God! that brain thing really worked ... extraordinary! my subordinates tell me ... very expensive.. err... I mean to design... "


the boy " people work for you ? what ?! that's like.. you have a staff ?!.. weird. "


God " *****, i'm ******* god.. I don't have a staff.. I ******* make the staff. and no that's not even an iota of weird.. but you know what's weird ...truly weird, a fact so crazy that it'll blow your mind and give you enough wisdom to tear through the fabric of the world I've made and undiscover all its secrets, science and gossip?!  "


the boy was now as curious as a teenage boy in teenage, he replied " what?! tell me.. is it here on earth ?!"



God " yes, it is my child.. indeed it is! such joy!... and it is also right here where we stand. "


the boy's mind went into an overdrive.. maybe this was all his design.. the almighty has come to show him the path.. out of these woods he's lost in.... and also a path of divinity and happiness.. and also he had watched Bruce almighty a dozen times or so... he was ready.


almost in a poetic voice filled with a general sense of elation.. the boy asked god " tell me.. please what is it pleaseeee ? "


the god smiled, in a way only a father smiles to her new born daughter.. knowing she's going to be paid less, has to go through the cycle of being temporary insane every month ( or that's what female's had been telling him .. it doesn't matter.. you a guy.. you see a woman in pain.. you *******... that's 10 hours of her ******* the life out of you. and you still wouldn't be a good listener or attentive according to her even if you give up in the 9th hour.

the boys repeated desperately " what is it! I'd be a good boy but please tell me pleaseeee! "

and the god smiled. he smiled and pointed to him. " that there , that is it.. that ugly ******* little duck of yours. "


and immediately burst into a laughter more grandeur than any sound in the world. I mean right after radiohead but whatever.


the boy saw his finger and tried to trace it's path. and almost in a moment.. it was over.


he had lost it- he screamed at the creator " you think you can make fun of me 'cuz you a big guy ? you think you can make fun of me because you're the most powerful thing there is and can literally turn me into 50 hands and no ducks... just living life in pure agony.. " he trailed off looking a bit distant towards the ending..

God " jeez. kid. you don't have to be so dark and imaginative unnecessarily.. see, okay I'm sorry... I hurt your little heart...which by the way I have made and do own the materials to.. and that's why you're alive... basically all of you and everything.. now to think of it.. it does make me a big guy... or more than that... but that's not the point. "

he went on " the point is i should've known better... because you know I made it all.  even the concept of being better..  booom! blows your mind ain't it.. chuck it.. and the point is.. I should've known better, so I'm  sorry!.. you can tell people I said sorry but they're not 'gonna believe someone like you "


the boy " **** do you mean someone like me?! " back in his form


god " oh you know... someone with a small...... ******* duck !"

and the god fell down laughing hysterically and immediately as soon he said the words..

rolling all over the soft grass and the boy's face.


the boy had enough- he screamed " **** like you can spend two minutes being a human... who's to tell you didn't have a small duck and then just made yourself one big enough " his voice trailing in the wind


god hadn't been spoken like this since the invention of languages.. oh how much he despised languages..a ******* constant annoying noise in his head specially the bengali.. **** them.

God spoke back " oh, so you think being a snake is better than being the almighty ?! "


the boy " I'm not a snake.. I'm a human.. what school did you got to ? "

God " you can be a ******* rock for all I care ... just be nothing.. you know.. instead of being everything.. the idea of it... it's is rather.. you know... so beautiful. "


and at that moment the boy realised that even god wasn't immune to something that he didn't know.


the god " I'll do you a deal, you be two seconds in my place and I'll be two seconds in your place... and then we'll know.. I'll know the fear of being nothing and you can know the escatsy of being everything. deal dawg ?"


the boy " but.. like two seconds .. awful less of a time to enjoy any kind of escatsy "

God " running late, mate. "


the boy " okay okay.. let's do it "



God smiled a bit and immediately a giant light came down from the sky roaring with a thousand thunderstorms...

wind was growing stronger by the second and it was almost impossible to hear anything... or analyse anything for that matter...

God screamed at the boy " it's going to go in your *** and out of your mouth.. and your soul will be passed to mine.. "

the boy screamed back in oh-my-god-that-face horror barely making any coherent sense.


God rolling on the floor laughing
" jeez. I'm kidding you punk.... that face tho.. so woke.. so woke..."

it took some time but he picked himself back up and screamed at the boy " it's going to happen... three..two.. one.. " and boom


the boy felt what can only be described as the best ****** anybody has ever had.


the god felt like what can only be described as the hardest kick to the nuts in the history of universe.

two seconds after... bam! everything stood still.. like nothing had happened.


both stared at each other for a while..
God went first " so, ... ?! "


the boy " yeah. "


God " pretty tense...yeah.. *******.. I mean.. God!.. you guys are awful to be.. it *****.. I gotta' change that thing... you know... about people taking their own life... and going to hell... I get it... I mean..  yeah.. you know... like whatever."

God went on " how was yours. "

the boy " yea.. pretty chill.. ... "

God " that it, boy ?! "

the boy " yeah. .. mostly "


God " hmm.. woke.. woke... so were you clever enough to do something for yourself ? "

the boy " oh..yeah..pretty much.. nice cars and girls.. stuff.. " his voice cracking with a very refined i-don't-give-a-**** attitude


the wind was still now. butterflies were flying between the blooming flowers and singing AC/DC for some reason. it was pleasant.


god snapped his finger once and said " so.. yeah i should go now... apparently somebody's supposed to take a picture of me in the sky.. gotta flex up.. chow~ "


God snapped his finger a second time and lo behold!  like that he was gone ****!...


the boy stood still for a moment longer. he smiled and walked away.




(4 days later...)



god was in the alps...looking out of the large window wondering how dreadful it is to be human..  

and as he was crawling in and out of different dimensions he smelt something. something interesting.


it was alcohol. ( he's god so it's very easy for him to figure out such little things.)

so he went over the fancy bar and poured himself some *****.. " ah potatoes.. at least they turned out to be just right.." he thought out loud.

and then he proceeded to drink himself to death.. countless times. 'cuz he could do that. he was god.


over and over again. glass being neither full or half or even ******* empty.

drink after drink. and soon late enough he went into a deep slumber because of course god loves a good sleep. who doesn't ?


he slept through the entire life span of many insects and until the breaking dawn.

the first rays of the sun hit the mighty alps as well as the face of this almighty being on a white bed in a red hotel by a blue lake who had forgotten you do your own curtains in the human world.

his first thought was to destroy the sun- it took a lot to not lift his finger.

slowly but surely he regained his infinitum consciousness, and got in touch with the multi dimensional universes sprawling all over every  second in past and future simultaneously... but **** that 'cuz the head ache oh! so painful.. almost made him forgot he could just not want it and it won't happen.

God did not enjoy most human banalities.. but he did enjoy a rather a peculiar one...even more than drinking and kissing death. the one of peeing.

and he had to ***. bad.


God, with a hint of a smile lifted his finger and boom he was right by- where the deed is done in a civilised community. he imagined what would people think if they came to know why he's always more often than not a 'he' than a 'she'.

he was in his stark boxers, standing almost naked with a smile on his face enjoying the rush.

pink floyd started playing out of the thin air. an autumn's calm spread through the veins of this sudden universe. I kid you not, shahrukh khan was there with his arms wide open.

slowly the god began the almost holy ritual.

pull down the garment. admire. take it out. admire. do the deed, keep admiring. put it back. sigh. very well organised and neat.

so god took a deep breath, looked at the alps one more time, looked down with a smile on his face, and slowly pulled down the garment... his consciousness in a rush.

and then god screamed. there was a duck.

walking on hues
breathing in your cold
story's old now
but the world is new

and it feels so empty without
you here now,
when there's nobody to hold-

the folly is sold now
and all there's left,
is you

and the winter in my arms
scream again,
and i know

pain isn't that far

wandering away
as i reach for the sun
i know the world will
have my heart

it'll have all of you
with nothing to spare

and i'll swallow the same songs
get drunk on the same air,

without you here
and it won't mean a thing
one sin for one more
ever more, and for everything

and yeah, i will cry
when it's gets cold

but i'll be glad because
you left me that could
mean something,

and i'm still here in,
living in these whispers
not ready to let go by

the only love
i've ever known
the only forest
that was grown


every time you smiled for me,
to me, there was a seed sown

and now it's growing high,
orphaned, and i wonder often

if i would still feel
what i did, when i lost
myself in your arms,

or have i forgotten,
and there's only an ocean
with nothing inside
to keep it warm

and i've drowned
in my own sorrow

and now all around me
i feel the still, the stir-
of the hollow,

i see the shadow
of your shelter

and i can't find-

but i remember,
what it felt to be so warm
in your arms, that time-

and somehow everything
is better, when you're playing
on my mind,

and the rains
don't feel as beautiful
as they used to

here on the outside,
without you

and don't you hear me scream,
how far away are you ?


but how far is enough,
for the world to fade  
before i stop breathing,
in every breath you take ?

is this world ever going
to be enough to keep
you away

from ever wandering in
my mind ?

is there a way,
from where i am-
straight to you

and to a world
where you still smile for me,
to me, a world that is kind-


and now when i look
in the mirror,
there's not a whisper of you
and i wish i was blind,


you made me see,
what it felt to be on the ground
and feel like flying,

to be corny, and somehow
everything was fine,
around you-


around you it never felt lonely,
but i forgot i was never
the only one.

there's nothing but silence-
or maybe,
silence and nothing.

is there a way to feed on the silence,
if not-
would i be hungry forever ?
i seek solitude in disguise,
served in solace-
with a hint of serenity in embers.

but i am sure,
it must feel alone-
for we haven't seen each other
in a while.

it's so exhausting to walk so many miles.
only to find scars and a barren land,
i hope someday i would understand,
why i see a man-
when i stare at the night sky.

the time swept the tides,
and now i see no moon-light.
only street-lights grace this oasis -

made of star-dust,
but a heaven no more.

pillars of concrete emotions,
rise through the air.
who ate the sky, i wonder,
who could ever dare ?

it's not yet five in the morning,
but it feels so close.

i left my dreams to die, again-
and yet i feel no remorse.

there's nothing but silence-
or maybe,
silence and nothing,

but i still breathe,
and then some more.