Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Autumn Jul 2015
You know that feeling you get when you hear a song for the first time and you just know instantly that you love it. It puts you in a sort of alternate reality. I wish I felt like that all the time.
You know that feeling you get when somebody says something funny or cracks a joke that makes you forget about everything else in the world at that moment but how funny and effortless that moment is. I want to feel like that all the time.
You know that feeling when you walk outside for the first time in the day and the world just kind of takes your breath away. I particularly feel euphoric when it's acting like it's going to storm but it's not actually storming. Cool wind, dark skies, I love it. Makes me want to go on adventures. You know that feeling that you get when you just suddenly recognize the beauty within the world and you get this urge to just go adventure and do awesome things...but instead you just put on your work uniform and go to work. Again, and again, and again. day, after day, after day.
I love life, but life only loves me back like half of the week. I wish life was lovely every single day, and I know what they say. They say, "it's your attitude, it's your mindset", And yes, I get that, and I can be happy anytime really.
It's just that, c'mon, what is more lovely.
making tons of pizzas and doing dishes in a depressing store that's 87 degrees on a "good" day, and getting yelled at by customers, and washing 20 pans by hand while simultaneously sweating 20 gallons a minute, or exploring and listening to Lana Del Rey, picking flowers, cooking simple but perfect little meals, cleaning the house, writing letters to family members, watching lovely little movies that make you feel some type of way about life. looking at the sky. I don't know, maybe I just need to come to terms with reality. Life is pretty hard but it's a lot easier when you have someone to love. I never mind going to work really, because I get to come home and spend the night with my love and at that point, nothing really matters. I just start to worry that I'll become too content with being discontent 50 percent of the time.
Jun 2015 · 904
Cheesecake
Autumn Jun 2015
I'm very much in love with you. I always have been, I always will be. I don't really know why, you're just the one for me.
I guess that's a lie, because I could probably explain why.
Because I like the way I feel so light around you.
You always make me happy and worry free. You're good for me.
without you. I'd drink too much and never do my hw. You're good for me. You keep me pretty. I like the way you are so determined to be awesome and successful. I like the way you put your arm around me in the morning. I like the way you stay by my side even when I'm conflicting. I could hang out with you forever and I wouldnt even notice time passing by. I like cooking for you because you're always so sweet even when my food is not. I like that you like me,
Not to mention, you're pretty lovey.
Apr 2015 · 904
Like TV in Black and White
Autumn Apr 2015
I've been trying to turn my reality into a movie.
nothing is as pretty as the wind on a cloudy evening.
I want to feel like that all the time.
Pretty and free.
Sometimes I get jealous of my fish.
No worries in the world but when will I get fed again.
Just swimming in circles happily.
Or so it seems.
I'm not really jealous of my fish but I do wish I could just swim around and not worry about anything.
Sometimes I think that I know so much about the little things in the world that it's impossible to put it into words.
I feel like I have big dreams but in reality, all I really wanna do is watch movies with you. I want to go to a dark little restaurant and order something weird and make fun of it with you.
I wanna drive around and listen to Lana Del Rey all day. I wanna plant flowers in my yard and laugh about pointless things all day. I want to have a dog and I want to give him hair cuts and put little handkerchiefs around his neck. I want to decorate for every holiday. I want nice smells like evergreen and lavender. I want to take sweet showers and fall asleep in clean fancy cotton. I don't know.
People are always telling me to dream big things, but all I really wanna do is dress up real fancy and cook nice things.
I just wanna do it in a better house, in a better town, in a better place.
Mar 2015 · 937
Nice Things
Autumn Mar 2015
My English teacher told me that my sentences didn't have enough commas. Sounds to me like she just needs some looser cardigans. I just want Swarovski crystals and silk pajamas. I want nice bed sheets and curtains. Preferably white and lacy. I want a nice little part time desk job that's only a few days a week. you see, I'm actually a good writer, but it's not straight A's on essays that I seek.
Autumn Jan 2015
There's this little sweetheart who I work with and she's so awesome and sometimes misunderstood. She's a hard worker and she's fun and nice and good hearted and naturally cool and I really wish more people would treat her better because she's such a doll. She's just a little younger than me but we just connect and I feel like we're the same age and it just totally ***** that her rents are pretty strict and we can't hang a whole lot but at least we can hang out a little. Anyway we were cruising around last weekend after work and I'm loaning her my old iPhone because her rents are lame and took her phone away, anyway it has all of my music on it and we were just listening to music and she says "I really like this girl." And it was Lana Del Rey and I couldn't help but grin. Like I could just chill with her and have so much fun. The other day she brought me a mcchicken with extra mayo, just how I lIke em, while I was at work. She's just a really good girl and I want to take her under my wing and take care of her and also just have good times with ya know. Oh we could have some fun together that's for sure
Dec 2014 · 698
Retrospect
Autumn Dec 2014
Everything that I complain about isn't even that ugly. Sometimes things **** a little but I never let it consume me.
Some things are simply a riddle and you just move on.
You come to know what feelings are the easiest and I've always found being happy quite effortless.
Being upset is a chore.
Don't stress,
There's always more.
Autumn Dec 2014
I need you like I need my favorite pillow at night when I'm cold and sad and tired and i'm just done with the day. Nothing else matters once I finally find myself in your arms. I'm ******* cliche. I try to say these things differently but I suppose now I know why they say that things are cliche for a reason.
Autumn Dec 2014
I don't know why some people are the way that they are, but that shouldn't change who you are. Just stay good and lovely and sweet, even when people are mean to you. Anger is no good.
I try my best to love people as much as I possibly can.
I build you back up in my head. I pick up the jagged pieces of all the sharp words you said. My emotions battle within my head but I always know which ones to throw out. I feel like I heal my wounds by seeing the good in you. I filter out all of the bad and throw it away time and time again. I pretend that all is perfect because I wish it was. Then you come storming in and so quickly break apart every little piece that I just so delicately put back together and most of the time you don't even know it. I'm on the floor trying to put these pieces back together again and I don't know if I can make them fit.
I'll figure it out though, I always do,
but only because I have to.
Dec 2014 · 618
Perfect
Autumn Dec 2014
Don't let anybody break that down.
You are nice and lovely and sweet and good hearted. Don't let anyone tell you that you're bad or wrong or, ugh, there is so much difference between honesty, constructive criticism, and just being a ****. Sometimes people just make things up to feel better about themselves. I have to go back to the four agreements every time.
Be impeccable with your word.
Don't take anything personally.
Don't make assumptions.
Always do your best.
That's all it comes down to. If you follow these rules every single time. you will never feel bad.
I love too many things to hate because of one thing.
You don't have to be mean, you don't have to hold grudges, you don't have to say what you think you mean,
As long as you understand, that's all that matters.
Oct 2014 · 899
HALLOWEEN
Autumn Oct 2014
Tricks, treats, taffy, tutus, timber, and trees.
Night time arrives, and the children come out.
Ghosts, ghouls, witches, and even bumblebees.
Readily running round, rugged, rough route.
Mandy and Randy get lots of candy.
Meanwhile, mom and dad are at a party.
Playing charades and sipping on brandy.
By the way, whatever happened to Marty?
Mandy says she lost her in the graveyard.
Scared, spooked, shivering, she slowly saunters.
Marty makes her way to the boulevard.
With red bite marks on her neck, she falters.
If Marty’s parents had not been toking,
They could see it was Jared just joking.
Autumn Sep 2014
I miss you.
I miss you when i'm at home watching a movie and i want to add my own commentary.
but only want you to hear, but you're not near. I miss you.
I miss you when i'm scrolling through Tumblr like a loser and I see a post that i'm just dying over and I want to show you. but you're at you're own house, with you're own view.
I miss you.
I miss you as soon as you leave. even with a smile on my face because I had such a good time with you, I still can't be as happy as you make me.
I miss you basically any second that i'm not with you.
I'm not necessarily sad when you're not around, I just wish we could be together for every little boring moment of life. I know someday we'll live together and it will be lovely and I know we are young and I know it's smart to wait until we can afford it, but i just miss you by my side, I want you by my side every single night for the rest of forever.
And Ever too.
Sep 2014 · 460
My lOve
Autumn Sep 2014
I like how I made this hidden little account that nobody knows about just so I could actually share some real real thoughts every once in a while and be completely free of worrying that some ******* I know might see and make fun of me.
And all of my poems end up being cute little cheesy litte sappy litte poems about youuuu.
I like to call you "My love"
Autumn Sep 2014
I ******* love Fall, I would say Autumn if that wasn't my name, because then it appears as if I just used Autumn instead of Fall because it is my name, therefore I am okay with Fall.

I like sitting out on my back porch with my laptop, hurriedly rushing an essay that I had two weeks to write, while I listen to locusts and look through an Avon book for new lipsticks.
the air cool and the sky cloudy.
I like wearing oversized warm things.
I like coffee when it's way too early.
I like candles that smell like food.
I like pumpkins and halloween and scary things that aren't actually scary. I like pumpkins and candy corn, even though candy corn isn't even that great. I like mowing the yard one last time in the nice cool breezy air. I like blasting Lana with my windows down driving down back roads in the middle of the night. I would have said that the fresh crisp air is my favorite part, this time last year,
but now that you're here,
I love being with you in my favorite part of the year.
Just like Fall will never get old,
neither will you.
Just like Lana Del Rey will never get old,
neither will you.

"I love you forever, not maybe, you are my one true love. "
Autumn Sep 2014
Achieving self-confidence and self-worth can be difficult when there are so many outside factors in the world that are constantly weighing in on people at all times. Once you achieve self-confidence however, you can truly achieve happiness. Being confident in one’s self has nothing to do with other people and their opinions, once this concept is understood, one can look at themselves in a way in which they can love themselves for who they genuinely are.  In order to achieve self-confidence, one must know themselves, accept themselves for who they are, be themselves without worrying about other’s opinions, and always do their best.
The first step in the journey to self-confidence is to fully know who you are, inside and out. Once you identify your flaws, your assets, and your likes, you can then further develop into a well rounded and unique individual. It is important to become independent because being independent creates self-confidence. If you know that you can do anything that you need to do without feeling uncomfortable, only then you can become confident in what it is that you are doing. Whether you like to paint, write, collect things, make things, whatever it may be, dive into it head first and don’t blink twice. If you want to do something, then you should do it. Doing what you want to do is very important because it does not matter what anybody else thinks you should do. What’s important is knowing what you want to do and feeling one hundred percent confident in doing it, regardless of what outside circumstances or people tell you otherwise. Once you figure out who you are, you can be confident in knowing exactly who you are, exactly what you want, and exactly where you want to go in life.
The next step in becoming a self-confident individual is to accept yourself for exactly who you are. Once you know exactly who you are, it is much easier to accept yourself, your flaws, your mistakes, and your opinions. Once you accept yourself you can then love yourself and all of yourself. Every single person is different, unique, and complex in so many different ways that you absolutely cannot compare yourself to anybody else. What you’re doing when you compare yourself to somebody else is tearing down your self confidence and setting yourself up for disappointment. There is not one definition for beauty, nor is there just one definition for smart or funny. You must also keep in mind that just because somebody else is smart and beautiful, does not mean that you are not smart and beautiful. You must keep the mindset that when you love yourself, it’s a lot easier for other people to love you as well. Once you truly become happy with who you are, that will shine through and you will radiate happiness wherever you go.
Once you know yourself and accept yourself, it is important to always be yourself. You now know who you are and what you like, so there is no reason in hiding that. If you are out with friends and they want to go see a scary movie and you absolutely hate scary movies, don’t be afraid to tell your friends exactly how you feel. They may end up going without you and that’s fine. People always appreciate somebody who is truthful and can make decisions for themselves. If you pretend to like what everybody else likes then you will become lost and your self-confidence is going to go right out the window. If you are comfortable with yourself and what you want, then you should have no problem making decisions for yourself and saying no to people. If you have an obsession with old newspaper articles then put them up in your house, on your fridge, or on a bulletin board. No matter how different your likes may be from those of others, you must embrace what you like. Don’t hide them away. Show them off to the world, show yourself off. If you can be yourself and make your own decisions, disregarding anybody else, then you are on your way to self-confidence.
The last step in achieving self-confidence is to always do your best. As simple as this sounds, it is greatly impactful on one’s self-confidence. If you always try your best no matter what, then you will never have a reason to feel bad about yourself. What more can you ask from someone than to always do their best? At the end of the day if you know that there was nothing that you didn’t try your best doing, then you can go to sleep feeling confident and fulfilled. What is important about this step is to apply it to even the smallest of tasks. Even if you are having a terrible day at work, you must at least try your best or you will feel bad about it later. For example, your boss may ask you to sweep the floor. You may not think that something so little as sweeping the floor can impact your self-confidence, but it most definitely can. Sweep underneath the tables and in all of the hard to reach corners, because it’s only going to take a fraction of a minute longer and at the end of the day you can say that you did your best and that you are proud of yourself. You might have a terrible boss, but you at least don’t have to question whether or not he may be right about you being a bad employee, because you will know that you are the only one who sweeps the corners and does your job to the best of your ability and so therefore it will not matter what your boss says or thinks. You will have no reason to doubt yourself if you know that there was nothing else that you could have done to do a better job.
Achieving self-confidence is truly as easy as following these four simple steps. Once you know who you are, accept who you are, be who you are, and always try your best, you will be self-confident and happy with yourself. Once you choose to love yourself for who you are and you achieve self-confidence, the possibilities in life are truly endless. Self-confidence will guide you and help you to live a self full filling, happy, and exciting life.
Sep 2014 · 1.5k
The 25th Street Bridge
Autumn Sep 2014
Often times upon hearing that somebody is sick, we assume that means that they are physically ill with the flu, the common cold, or some other virus going around. What we don’t realize is that people can be sick in the mind as well as in the body. I watched a young girl jump off of the 25th street bridge in the fall of last year, and that’s when I came to understand the true impact that mental illness can have on an individual. Only after witnessing this tragic event did I really start to grasp that mental illnesses such as depression, anxiety, and insomnia, to name a few, are just as real and draining as physical illnesses can be.
I was planning on having a fun night out with my sister. It was a couple of weeks after my eighteenth birthday and my older sister Charlotte was going to take me out for a girl’s night. Our plan was to go to Lawrence since I would be able to get into concerts and such after turning eighteen. I was really thrilled, I got ready swiftly, and I headed over to my sister’s house. I was soon disappointed though because once I arrived she didn’t want to go to Lawrence. I was of course bummed but we decided to go get pizza instead. It was on our way back from picking up pizza that we both witnessed this tragic event.
As we drove across the 25th street bridge it was rather dark and I was not paying much attention, however, Charlotte thought that she saw somebody standing on the other side of the bridge. At the time I thought for sure that she was mistaken, but she turned around the car and as we drove slowly back across the bridge, I was horror struck upon seeing that there actually was a young girl probably about my age standing there on the other side, grasping the ledge with a pale face and wide eyes.
My sister stopped the car in the middle of the road and yelled to me, “Autumn, call 911 right now!” It took me a moment to realize what was actually happening. Even as it sunk in, I did not ever imagine that she would really jump. As I fumbled with my phone trying to call 911, I could hear my sister begging and pleading for the girl to come down. At this point I was still not convinced that she would jump so I did not realize the urgency of the situation. I explained to the 911 operator that there was a girl threatening to jump off the bridge. She kept asking what street I was on but I did not know the street and I had become side tracked by listening to my sister try to coax her down. I just remember being very appalled by the girl because she was being extremely rude. I of course did not understand what would cause her to be so rude to people that were trying to save her life. At this point in my life I definitely did not think of depression as something so serious. I of course knew about it but I had never come to understand it before. I knew I had to find out the name of the street so I peeled my eyes and ears away from my sister and the girl and started sprinting down the street. I could feel the cool fall air on my hot flustered face as I was running. I know it sounds crazy but my adrenaline was rushing and I became detached from the situation during those 30 seconds of running. It was such a lovely November night and exhilaration was running through my body like a steady current. I felt like I was in a scene from a movie. I was not really that scared yet because I had already played it all out in my head. The way I pictured it, Charlotte would convince the girl to come down, cops would come and make sure that she would come down safely, we could all go our separate ways and that would be that. I’d never experienced any sort of situation like that one, so of course I had envisioned it would play out just like it would if we were in a movie.
All I remember next was being pulled out of my run by a piercing scream from my sister. I stopped and looked over and the girl was no longer standing on the ledge. It had occurred to me that she had jumped but for some reason I was still convincing myself that she was fine. Even though I knew logically that the likelihood of surviving after that kind of a fall was not of any percent, I couldn’t help but think that she might still be okay. I just had not played out that scenario in my head, so therefore it was unreal to me.
I stood there in complete and utter shock. It was as if everything around me had come to a standstill and all I could hear was the operator on the other line “Ma’am…ma’am? Are you still there? Do you know the street name ma’am?” I simply hung up. It seemed as if in a matter of seconds 12 cars were surrounding me and sirens were going off and people were shouting and I still to this day have no idea how that bridge went from being such a quiet empty place to being filled with dozens of people within seconds.  My sister was not in an emotional state to deal with what was happening so I quietly moved her car, called her husband, and talked to the cops.
For some reason I never got emotionally upset about the event. My sister to this day is dealing with PTSD and still has vivid flashbacks and reoccurring nightmares. It was only after witnessing this event and seeing the dramatic effects that it had on my sister and still continues to have on my sister, that I realized the importance of dealing with mental illnesses on the same level of urgency that we deal with physical illnesses. I have never had many mental health problems so therefore I can look at things from a broader more logical perspective. I often times learn a lot just by evaluating other people’s experiences rather than experiencing things on my own.
I can now see that when somebody has a mental illness we need to help them and we need to be patient. I think the most important thing to do is to remain kind and open minded. We need to realize that when somebody is dealing with a mental illness they do not always realize or understand that they may come off as rude or angry. What I have learned is that getting angry with somebody who has a mental illness will only escalate things further. I did a lot of research into mental illness after this event and I think the most important thing to remember is that just because you don’t understand mental illnesses from a personal viewpoint, does not mean that you can’t be knowledgeable about such illnesses and learn to deal with them in a helpful and compassionate way. I think another important thing to mention as I bring this story to a close is that there may not be a logical reason as to why horrible things like these happen, but that doesn’t mean that we have to create one. By this, I mean we should not place the blame on ourselves because that is just as illogical as jumping off of a bridge.
Sep 2014 · 332
Untitled
Autumn Sep 2014
I'm thinking there's no reason to waste my hard earned money.
I can listen to music for free,
I can write or draw or do homework.
Or clean my room.
LOL
I could finally go through some of my boxes that i've never unpacked.
LOL
Fun stuff, fun stuff.
LOL
Really though, i'm doing a **** good job of saving my money, can't quit now.
:)
Aug 2014 · 596
You and Me
Autumn Aug 2014
Meet me in the park

By the old dying tree

We’ll share our secrets in the dark

And maybe we’ll be able to see

Meet me on the bridge

By the guardrail

We’ll explain our stories

And maybe we’ll be able to set sail

Meet me on the beach

By the shore

We’ll explore

And maybe even tell each other more

Meet me on the dock

By the old forgotten cove

I’ll keep the key

You keep the lock

And we’ll drift out to sea

Just you, all of our secrets, and me.
Autumn Aug 2014
Lipstick
Perfume
Skinny jeans
Eyeliner
Bangs in my face
Combat boots
Autumn Aug 2014
I wanna dance with you and look at pretty skies and lights with you and cook with you and eat with you and talk about everything with you and sleep next to you and go on adventures with you and vent to you about everything and watch movies with you and go to concerts and cute little places and drink coffee with you and just god I just want to be with you and do everything with you forever and evvvvver
Autumn Aug 2014
I see too many sad poems.
I don't even want to read them because I don't want to be sad.
I like happy poems
Even sappy poems.
I like poems that make me smile and feel alive
I like warm cozy poems
Even poems about the weather and clothes and food and candy
I think we should all try to write happy poems once in a while.
You should want people to read your poem and smile.
Not to say a sad poem can't be very good,
But the world is far too beautiful
Maybe this is easy for me to say because I'm really happy.
Autumn Aug 2014
5 :07
I'm not allowed to get overtime anymore.
I can't go into work until 8 pm to close.
I don't really mind.
There's nothing to do here.
I wish I had some cool hobbies.
I just sit around doing nothing.
Every time I think I'm gonna get a bunch of new hobbies,
I just never do.
I mean i'm always happy and I think that's what matters. I love my life really. I love it all.
I like to listen to Lana and Ms. Swift and I like to cook. I like to do girly stuff like put on makeup and do my hair and dress up. I like to make things. I don't know what to make though. I know that I can be really creative sometimes, I just gotta try.
5:12
Maybe I over think things.
I know I'd like to have a cigarette but I also don't want to smoke cigarettes because I don't even smoke cigarettes. I'd have a beer but that's almost pointless too.
I'd eat something but I'm not hungry.
I'd watch something on TV but there is nothing to watch and I've already watched too much netflix today.
I'd clean the house but I cleaned the house yesterday and not so much that I mind cleaning, I just don't want to feel like the **** maid. I always clean the house without being asked.
I'd cook something but I only like cooking on my days off.
None of this is relevant nor is it poetic and I'm just bored.
5:19
**** it, i guess I'll clean the **** house. I mean I do it so often now that my parents almost expect it from me.
HAHA
I wish I didn't even have to go to work, It's always easier to do things and to clean and cook and get dolled up and to have hobbies when you don't have to work.
It's silly, I'm literally just waiting around to go to work. If this was my day off I would have done a ton of things already. I would be doing something right now.
I could be doing something right now.
Bye.
Boring hobbies life lazy cleaning
Autumn Aug 2014
I always thought that I would always have the same favorite perfume forever. I honestly thought no other scent could be more enticing and lovely. But lately, it's not my perfume that is forever lingering.
You're in my bed,
You're in my hair,
You're in my head,
You're everywhere.
You're my favorite perfume<3
I could wear you in January, I could wear you in June,
I could wear you forevermore,
You're far more special than Juicy Couture, because I sure can't buy you in a bottle at the store.
Aug 2014 · 355
words and perceptions
Autumn Aug 2014
People
say what they think other people want to hear,
but
People
only want to hear what you want to say,
otherwise what is the point?
Nobody
wants to hear something if it isn't honest or real or meaningful.
Aug 2014 · 321
LOVE
Autumn Aug 2014
The other day I was silently observing a conversation between a couple of young ladies,
They were talking about marriage and love and then I heard the eldest of them say,
"6 months? that isn't love, that's puppy love if anything." and she laughed.
And not that I really gave a ****,
but I thought to myself,
Is she trying to be cool by acting as if she doesn't believe in the magic of love?
Who is she to say whether somebody that she has never met, loves somebody else that she has never met.
Who is she?
Love is very complex and just like beauty, there is no one single definition for love.
And who is she to say that this person doesn't love this other person.
Each case of Love is so different and honestly she is a close minded stereotypical person for saying such a thing. Like do you even believe in Love if you don't think that it can happen at any time.
Like do you really believe that love has such ridiculous rules like
"you can't love somebody until a certain time has passed since you met them" That is so
The opposite of love.
The magnificent thing about love is that it comes without a warning and without a reason. There is no outline to love.
Love just happens and you can't plan it nor should you want to.
Love is the most beautiful thing a person can feel but one can never know how it shall happen or when it shall happen or with whom it shall happen.
Love lovely beautiful beauty magic sweet cute nice women

— The End —