Oh the nostalgia,
Oh memory lane,
a poet's dream that we try to capture
in vain
because the essence of what once was,
is never the same,
as the situation is
and that is beautiful.
Beautifully lame.
Because how can one song
Trigger a lifetime of memories
If the song has no real meaning to you.
But it was the feeling,
The freedom,
The risk,
And that's why it triggers so many thoughts and memories
Pain and happiness,
And if I cry in the middle of class
While writing this,
Then it's okay,
I can feel
I can feel
I can feel.

I tried to tickle my vegan fancy
With bushels of quinoa and kale,
I was told no meat or dairy
Was the healthy Holy Grail.

But I was sad and hungry
With every burger I declined,
See me toss away my salad bowl,
I’m in a sirloin state of mind.

I filled my fridge with veggies,
Bean sprouts and legumes,
But I dreamt of pancetta
And links of sausage to consume.

Breakfast was plain yogurt
Lunch was collard greens,
Snacks were roasted edamame,
****, they’re just soy beans.

I was getting much too skinny,
My ribs were protruding,
I became short-tempered,
And was dark and brooding.

I covered all the mirrors,
I looked so pale and pasty,
All day I would salivate,
Craving something hot and tasty.

My vegan days are over
Enjoying pork chops, ham and bacon
I thought veggies were the answer,
But it seems I was mistaken.

Feel free to live off plants,
If you are so inclined,
But I’m firing up the grill,
I’m in a sirloin state of mind.

You know that feeling you get when you hear a song for the first time and you just know instantly that you love it. It puts you in a sort of alternate reality. I wish I felt like that all the time.
You know that feeling you get when somebody says something funny or cracks a joke that makes you forget about everything else in the world at that moment but how funny and effortless that moment is. I want to feel like that all the time.
You know that feeling when you walk outside for the first time in the day and the world just kind of takes your breath away. I particularly feel euphoric when it's acting like it's going to storm but it's not actually storming. Cool wind, dark skies, I love it. Makes me want to go on adventures. You know that feeling that you get when you just suddenly recognize the beauty within the world and you get this urge to just go adventure and do awesome things...but instead you just put on your work uniform and go to work. Again, and again, and again. day, after day, after day.
I love life, but life only loves me back like half of the week. I wish life was lovely every single day, and I know what they say. They say, "it's your attitude, it's your mindset", And yes, I get that, and I can be happy anytime really.
It's just that, c'mon, what is more lovely.
making tons of pizzas and doing dishes in a depressing store that's 87 degrees on a "good" day, and getting yelled at by customers, and washing 20 pans by hand while simultaneously sweating 20 gallons a minute, or exploring and listening to Lana Del Rey, picking flowers, cooking simple but perfect little meals, cleaning the house, writing letters to family members, watching lovely little movies that make you feel some type of way about life. looking at the sky. I don't know, maybe I just need to come to terms with reality. Life is pretty hard but it's a lot easier when you have someone to love. I never mind going to work really, because I get to come home and spend the night with my love and at that point, nothing really matters. I just start to worry that I'll become too content with being discontent 50 percent of the time.

I'm very much in love with you. I always have been, I always will be. I don't really know why, you're just the one for me.
I guess that's a lie, because I could probably explain why.
Because I like the way I feel so light around you.
You always make me happy and worry free. You're good for me.
without you. I'd drink too much and never do my hw. You're good for me. You keep me pretty. I like the way you are so determined to be awesome and successful. I like the way you put your arm around me in the morning. I like the way you stay by my side even when I'm conflicting. I could hang out with you forever and I wouldnt even notice time passing by. I like cooking for you because you're always so sweet even when my food is not. I like that you like me,
Not to mention, you're pretty lovey.

I've been trying to turn my reality into a movie.
nothing is as pretty as the wind on a cloudy evening.
I want to feel like that all the time.
Pretty and free.
Sometimes I get jealous of my fish.
No worries in the world but when will I get fed again.
Just swimming in circles happily.
Or so it seems.
I'm not really jealous of my fish but I do wish I could just swim around and not worry about anything.
Sometimes I think that I know so much about the little things in the world that it's impossible to put it into words.
I feel like I have big dreams but in reality, all I really wanna do is watch movies with you. I want to go to a dark little restaurant and order something weird and make fun of it with you.
I wanna drive around and listen to Lana Del Rey all day. I wanna plant flowers in my yard and laugh about pointless things all day. I want to have a dog and I want to give him hair cuts and put little handkerchiefs around his neck. I want to decorate for every holiday. I want nice smells like evergreen and lavender. I want to take sweet showers and fall asleep in clean fancy cotton. I don't know.
People are always telling me to dream big things, but all I really wanna do is dress up real fancy and cook nice things.
I just wanna do it in a better house, in a better town, in a better place.

My English teacher told me that my sentences didn't have enough commas. Sounds to me like she just needs some looser cardigans. I just want Swarovski crystals and silk pajamas. I want nice bed sheets and curtains. Preferably white and lacy. I want a nice little part time desk job that's only a few days a week. you see, I'm actually a good writer, but it's not straight A's on essays that I seek.

There's this little sweetheart who I work with and she's so awesome and sometimes misunderstood. She's a hard worker and she's fun and nice and good hearted and naturally cool and I really wish more people would treat her better because she's such a doll. She's just a little younger than me but we just connect and I feel like we're the same age and it just totally ***** that her rents are pretty strict and we can't hang a whole lot but at least we can hang out a little. Anyway we were cruising around last weekend after work and I'm loaning her my old iPhone because her rents are lame and took her phone away, anyway it has all of my music on it and we were just listening to music and she says "I really like this girl." And it was Lana Del Rey and I couldn't help but grin. Like I could just chill with her and have so much fun. The other day she brought me a mcchicken with extra mayo, just how I lIke em, while I was at work. She's just a really good girl and I want to take her under my wing and take care of her and also just have good times with ya know. Oh we could have some fun together that's for sure